Jaded Hearts (Loaded Replay #1)

by Harper Sloan

  “Wren.” He steps forward, bringing our bodies just a few feet away from touching.

  “No, Chance. No more bullshit. Give me one good reason why we can’t explore this, and don’t you dare use being my security as one.”

  “It’s not that simple. I …” He cups the back of his neck, looking down as the silence grows between us.

  “You know what,” I quietly fuss, getting him to look up. “I lied. I avoided you because I’m absolutely scared out of my mind of the way you make me feel. It’s insane. I haven’t known you long enough to feel this strongly about you. I know next to nothing about you personally, but it doesn’t matter. I feel my body being pulled to yours, and it scares the shit out of me.”

  “You are scared of me?” He emits an incredulous, sarcastic-like laugh with his words.

  “Out of my mind with fear.” I continue to hold my body, giving an appearance of confidence that I don’t think I feel completely.

  “You have no idea what it’s like to feel fear over what someone could do to you if you let them get close, Wren. You are … you, Wren. And me … I’m just some nobody with nothing to show for his thirty-one years but a handful of friends and a whole lot of empty. I can’t let you in, Wren. I’ll do what I need to do for the public, but you hold far more power over me than I ever could over you. I warned you, Wren. You have to protect yourself from me.”

  The pain in his voice makes me falter on my feet before I move forward two steps and cup his cheeks with my hands. “I don’t want to protect myself from you. I want to give myself to you.”

  Awareness and lust sparks in his eyes, those swirls of blues and greens turning into a kaleidoscope of magic as he holds my gaze. “I can’t. I can’t handle what happens when it all ends, and it always, always ends.”

  “Then I guess I have to prove to you that you’re wrong.” The truth in my words hits us both differently. My words, spoken out loud, renew my strength to let go of my past and the hang-ups that it’s already soiled me with. For him, though, he looks almost nervous.

  “You won’t win this battle, Wren,” he tells me, but he lacks the conviction needed to make me believe what he’s saying.

  “Oh, Chance, you won’t win,” I whisper, coming up on my toes to press a feather light kiss to his lips then pulling back to look into his eyes. “You might think you will, but mark my words, I will have you, and you’re going to love it. Every. Single. Second. If I can put my fears aside to just take this chance and open myself up to your rejection time and time again, then you can do the same and stop letting whatever hurt you before stand in the way of your life.”

  I pull back and give him a small smile then turn to leave him alone to think about what I just said. One thing’s for sure, though; even if he continues to deny us what we both clearly want, I’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t succeed.

  Fucking, fuck, motherfucking FUCK!

  I leave the empty hallway and stomp forward, following the sounds of her puttering around in the kitchen.

  “You need to stop this game, Wren.” My breathing is erratic; fists balled at the sides of my hips.

  “It isn’t a game, Chance.”

  “Then what is it you want? What could possibly come of us giving in to this thing between us?”

  She stops fidgeting with the cold-cut meat she had been placing on the kitchen island and faces me. Her hair falling free around her head, the patch that she had saved around her temple a little longer than it was when I first met her, making me wonder how often she has to shave it. She looks tiny, the oversized tank top falling in a baggy swoop over her chest, her torso swimming in the material. I know from watching her over the past week since arriving at their home in California that the leggings she favors cup her firm ass perfectly, and when she’s walking down the stairs, the fabric molds to her pussy in a way that makes my mouth water. Even if I can’t see that now, because of her shirt’s length, those images have forever been burned into my brain. I’ve never been so thankful for such ridiculous printed leggings before until recently.

  “I want to take a gamble and hope that my reward will be waiting for me. A chance for Chance.”

  I grip the smooth surface of the quartz countertop, dropping my head with a sigh. “You’re asking for the impossible.”

  She moves, her tiny feet taking her from the other side of the island, closer to me. She doesn’t stop until she’s so close that every part of her body is touching mine, her big blue eyes just looking up at me. No talking, our breathing harsh and loud as it echoes off the wall, and she shivers. I can feel it, that need my body has for hers, the power of it calling out to hers, and I feel my resolve crumbling.

  “I have no way of knowing what will happen tomorrow, Chance. I can’t even assume that I can predict the next hour. All I know is that even with everything I could possibly want or need in my life surrounding me, I still feel empty. Before you popped into my life, I had been struggling to find something that I even liked about that life. I sensed I was searching for something, but I didn’t have a clue as to what. Then you showed up, and it was as if every lock inside me had popped open. I had no idea what to do with that until I stopped being afraid that my past would repeat itself. Now I know that, in order for me not to go back to that place I was in, I have to be able to let people in and take a chance. So, yeah … it might feel impossible, but I’m just asking for my Chance.”

  “You’re going to destroy me,” I tell her, trying to reason with her by giving her the truth of my fears.

  “We’re going to destroy each other and then put the pieces back together, so there aren’t any more cracks.” Her words, confusing to many, show me just how well Wrenlee has pegged me.

  I bend my body and give in to the temptation I’ve felt since I met her. My hands slide around her waist, and with a tug, I eliminate any space between our bodies. She emits a shocked squeak from her lips, and a second later, her hands are around my neck. She struggles with our height difference before I give in and lift her from the ground to sit on the island, stepping between her legs. My forehead goes to hers, lightly resting there, and I don’t look away from the questions in her eyes.

  “It’s been almost a decade since I was in a relationship, Wren. I haven’t the slightest clue on how to make one work because the last one I had blew up in my face in the most painful way. You want to do this; we have to be honest with each other. I mean it. I can’t move forward without complete honesty.”

  She studies my face, trying to read between the lines of my words. I pull in a deep breath before letting it out slowly.

  “She lied to me, Wren. A lot. It’s hard for me to trust people, especially women. But you weren’t the only one who felt like something inside you was being snapped open when we met.”

  “So does this mean you’re my not husband for real now?” she quips, trying to lighten the mood a little.

  “As long as we keep the not babies to practice only.”

  “I won’t lie to you, Chance.”

  “Then it looks like we’re taking a gamble together.”

  Her smile is blinding. I’ve seen her face everywhere for the past five years, often smiling, but never like this. Something so genuine it’s alight from the inside. Her legs lift, circling around my hips, and she locks her ankles behind my back in order to pull me flush against her center. I run my hands up her back and bend over slightly, holding her head in my hand when she is forced to tip it back to keep looking at me with that beautiful damn smile.

  “At the risk of sounding like I only want you for your body, you have no idea how badly I want you to fuck me,” she declares with a breathy voice.

  “At the risk of sounding like a bastard, I want to fuck you probably more so.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  I push my hard length against her hotness. Even with my layers of clothes between us, it feels like her pussy is burning my cock.

  “We need to get to know each other,” I hedge, my eyes wanting to
roll back in my head when she curls her nails into my shoulders and rolls her hips against me.

  “We’re already not married, hubby. It wouldn’t be right not to consummate our union by … unioning.” She’s almost panting, the color high on her cheeks.

  “I don’t think unioning is a word, babe.”

  “Jesus, Chance,” she whines, not in an annoying way, but a needy one that is hot as fuck. “Playing twenty questions to get to know each other isn’t going to change anything. You fuck me now or a week from now, it will happen. It’s up to you if we have a few minutes of uncomfortable need or weeks. Because I can assure you, our bodies need this more than we could ever know. Feel that,” she commands, rocking hard against my cock. “Feel that and then tell me that you don’t need this.”

  “Goddamn,” I hiss and then crush my mouth to hers in a kiss so brutally perfect all I can do is deepen it, drunk on the rush of her touch.

  Our mouths feast on each other, hands fumbling to free each other’s bodies of the clothes that stand between us. I hear myself grunt in displeasure when her mouth leaves mine, instantly wanting it back, but when she begins to pull my shirt up my torso, I calm slightly and lift my arms to help her remove it. The second her fingers drop my shirt, I pull hers up and over before putting my mouth back where I want it … on her.

  Our tongues move together. Slide and twist around wet breaths of need. Her hands roam around my back, pressing in and exploring my body, while the deep whines and mewls coming from her spike my need for her, to feel the heat of her pussy without anything between us.

  My mouth, wet from hers, pulls back and travels down her slim neck, my hands coming around to cup her tits through the lace of her bra, the weight of them in my palms heavy. For such a tiny girl, she has bigger breasts than she should. Most girls as tiny as her have nothing for a chest but not Wren. They fit perfectly in my hands. I squeeze them, smiling against the curve of her neck when she whimpers. Leaning up, I look into her hooded eyes, curl my fingers under the cups of her bra, and jerk it down until both globes are freed. She gasps and pushes her chest into my hold, begging without words for more.

  “Please,” she cries when my thumb rolls over the turgid tips of her nipples. As much as I want to look down and see what color her nipples are, she’s holding me captive as I watch her use my body to find her release. Her hips rock as best as she can, given our positions, trying to find friction. Her mouth is hanging slack, breathing erratic, and her eyes are begging me for more.

  Without looking away, I bring my hands to her back and unhook her bra, her arms rushing from my body to get the offensive material away from our bodies. I bring a hand up, placing it between her tits, palm to her smooth skin, and push her slightly backward. She follows my silent demand, lying back with a squeak of shock when the coldness of the counter hits her fevered skin. Then I give myself the pleasure of seeing her almost fully naked, laid out for me like a gift for a starved man.

  “Wren,” I grunt, bending to pull one of her dusty nipples into my mouth. I bite it between my teeth while keeping my eyes locked with hers.

  My tongue flicking against her nipple, quickly, back and forth until her back curls and she thrashes under my touch. My fucking cock is so hard right now, and unable to hold back, a burst of come leaves my body. I squeeze my eyes tight and hold back the rest of my orgasm. I know I won’t be able to hold back much longer, not with her undulating under my touch from just my mouth on her nipple.

  “Birth control, Wren?”

  “Yes. Always. I do it. Fuck.” She brings her hands up and starts to tweak her own nipples, repeating her mumbled words, still not making it clear if she understands what I’m asking. My eyes cross, and I feel more wetness coming from my cock.

  “I’m clean,” I pant, thrusting slightly while my hands caress her sides, leaving her to play with her own nipples, and curling my fingers into the waistband of her leggings. I use the leverage of that hold on her leggings to pull her harshly against my body. Her pussy grinds against my erection without delay. I look down, seeing the fabric against her center outlining her pussy lips as they widen to seek out my length. “I was tested six months ago, and even before that, it had been a while. Be sure you understand me.”

  “Goddamn, Chance. Take off our pants and get your big fat cock inside me now!” she screams, letting go of her tits to slap her hands against the counter and lift her head to give me a look of desperation.

  “Not until you tell me what I need to know, baby.”

  “I’m on the pill. I’m clean. And it’s been what feels like an eternity, so please stop stalling and put an end to this burning need I feel consuming me before it kills me,” she gasps, panting with wild eyes.

  I step back, pulling my fingers free of the band at her waist. Unbuckling my belt, I snap the buttons of my jeans open. With harsh movements, I push them down my legs, stepping out of both my jeans and briefs. My cock, erect and wet from my own come, points up in the air. When I look up from my red, angry, and very needy cock, I see Wren wiggling against the counter, trying to get her leggings off her body without much success.

  “Need some help?” I ask, palming my cock to stroke it lazily. She looks up at my question, and her eyes widen when she sees that I’m standing there naked, not even bothering to hide her hungry gaze as she watches my hand fist my length.

  “Get these pants off me. I don’t even care that they’re unicorns and a print I had to hunt down because all those eager bitches always steal the best ones first. Cut them off now. Cut them off!”

  “Unicorns?” I bark out a laugh.

  “God. Shit, Chance Nash, now is not the time for me to school you on the ins and outs of LuLaRoe!”

  “Laluwho?”

  Her eyes narrow at my teasing. I can’t remember ever feeling this much heavy need for someone, yet here we are joking. Taking pity on her, I step forward and peel the tight as fuck fabric down her legs. Her bare pussy, glistening with her arousal, is the first thing I see, and my mouth waters instantly.

  “No way, mister. There will be plenty of time for a taste test later—for both of us—but if you don’t get that fat cock inside me right now, I swear to God I’m going to die. I really will.” She throws the words at me, but her attention is solely on my cock. My hand is back to stroking it with lazy movements. “You seriously have the most beautiful penis I’ve ever seen.”

  My eyes fly back to her face. “Not sure if I like being compared to the other cocks you’ve seen.”

  “The thickest,” she continues wickedly.

  “Wren,” I warn.

  “Maybe the longest, but I would have to get a closer look to say for sure,” she prods, knowing she’s pushing my control over the edge.

  “I should give him a name, so he knows how much I appreciate his perfection.” She twists her body on the island; with my position between her spread legs, I see a small path of wetness from her cunt to the back of her, disappearing where the counter meets her skin.

  “Hush.”

  “Make me,” she slurs.

  “With. Fucking. Pleasure.”

  With my hand still fisting my cock, I line myself up with her opening and push just the tip into her overheated flesh. My hands move up, thumbs sliding against the lips of her sex as my hands go to curl around her hips. I watch her widen around the tip of my cock, not even the thickest part of me, and I grind my teeth, a deeply animalistic grunt coming from deep within me.

  Her tiny hands wrap around my wrists, not able to completely touch. I look up briefly, seeing her chin to her chest while she looks at where our bodies join. With my paused movements, she looks up and pleads with me silently.

  “The second I feel your body ripple against my cock, you will be mine, Wrenlee. Even if you ever decide you don’t want me, I’m not sure I’ll grant you that. Especially not after I feel you hug me tight inside your body, sucking my come from my cock. If we’re taking a gamble together, it’s all in, or we fold before the call.”

  Wi
th her hold on my wrists, she pulls, impaling herself all the way down my length until I feel the wetness of her cunt against the base of my shaft. Her sharp cry echoes around the kitchen, tangling and dancing with the grunt of satisfaction I feel from her heat sheathing me.

  We move together, her body welcoming mine with each and every thrust. Her quivering heat sucking my cock back each time I retreat from her. Never, it’s never felt like this. My movements falter when she lifts her body from her position on the island, hands going to my shoulders.

  “Fuck, you feel perfect,” I tell her with a strain to my words. “So fucking perfect against my cock, in my arms—mine. Never …” I thrust deep, bottoming out and lifting her from the island. “Felt …” I lift her up from my cock before dropping her down and flexing my ass to attempt to get deeper into heaven. “Better.” I groan, her nails digging into my shoulders as she throws her head back and screams, her pussy flexing in pulsing release. I continue to lift her up and pull her down on my body, riding out her orgasm while she screams my name over and over with that sexy rasp of hers. Only when I feel her easing down from her pleasure do I give in to mine. I drop my forehead to her sweaty chest and groan out my own release deep into her body.

  “I think I could get used to unioning with you, hubby,” she pants, lifting one of her hands to run her fingernails against my scalp, urging me without her words to give her my eyes.

  “Yeah,” I breathe, looking up. “I’m pretty sure I could get used to unioning with you, too.”

  I ignore the nickname, again, finding that it doesn’t even slightly annoy me. Stranger yet, I find I don’t mind the visions that her nicknames put into my head each and every time she jokingly says it. I give her a light smack on her ass then take her lips in a slow, knee-knocking kiss. Walking through the house, I head toward her bedroom with my semi-hard cock still inside her body, and I push all my previous reservations about this woman out of my mind.