Rise of the Spider Goddess

by Jim Hines

  Galadrion was ducking down to enter when they heard the scream. She looked back.

  From the temple, there was a clear view to the center of the city. They could see the back of the girl, arms stretched out and tied between two trees. She was struggling madly to escape, nearly dislocating her shoulders in her efforts to yank her wrists free.

  “Nakor,” Galadrion began.

  “I see it,” he answered. In front of the girl, Olara stood dressed in a shimmering black robe. All around her, priests watched silently as she slowly drew her dagger. The girl stopped struggling and moaned in terror.

  “What’s going on?” came Jenn’s voice from within the temple.

  Nakor looked at Galadrion. His face was a stone mask, hiding whatever he was feeling.

  “Inside.”

  Galadrion looked over at the girl, who stared in horror at the advancing goddess. “Don’t be afraid,” Olara said with a smile, “it will all be over soon.”

  “Now!” Nakor hissed. Galadrion stared at him. The mask was gone, replaced by an expression of helpless fury.

  Yes, a nameless teenager is being killed, but the REAL focus is Nakor’s angsty elf-pain!

  I wanna be the angstiest,

  Like no one ever was!

  So much elf-pain, throughout the quest,

  To wallow is my cause!

  Um…yeah, that probably only made sense to those of you familiar with the Pokemon theme.

  The priests started to chant rhythmically in the distance. Galadrion nodded slowly and ducked inside. Nakor followed, closing his eyes as he heard the screaming begin again.

  * * *

  They were in a small tunnel, barely tall enough for Nakor or Galadrion to stand in. Nobody said anything about the muffled screams from outside.

  “This should open up into a large room up ahead,” Nakor whispered. “That’s where the light is coming from.”

  The tunnel twisted and turned, causing Pynne and Whoo to bump their wings more than once. Flame cooed softly from Nakor’s shoulder, disliking the cramped tunnel.

  Then they came around another bend in the tunnel and saw a room before them. It was large and roughly octagonal, with doors in each of the eight walls. A black obsidian altar stood in the middle of the room. To either side of the altar was a small white pillar, supporting a crystalline statue of a spider. Torches were mounted on the walls between each of the doors.

  Jenn looked up. High above them, enormous stalactites loomed like knives, ready to pierce any who entered. She swallowed hard.

  “Most of the doors lead to the lower levels of the temple,” Nakor said. “That’s where we had to go to find the gems, two years ago. It was down there that I fell through the trap door.”

  “Do you remember which door?” Jenn asked.

  Nakor grinned sheepishly. “Most of the tunnels below are interconnected. But I don’t remember which doors lead to the tunnels.”

  “Then we do this the hard way,” Whoo commented.

  Nakor felt the pixie move past him in the darkness, walking into the room. Taking a deep breath, he followed.

  Once they were all inside, they stopped.

  “Any guesses?” Pynne asked.

  Jenn started to say something, then paused to look curiously at the two pixies. “Why aren’t you invisible?” she asked.

  Pynne blinked. She looked over at Whoo, who stared back in amazement. “Uh oh,” he said.

  “You said magic doesn’t work in the temple?” Pynne asked.

  Nakor nodded.

  Whoo muttered something incomprehensible under his breath.

  They all stopped as one of the doors opened. A large man walked into the room, whistling softly to himself. He was dressed in black trousers and a leather weapons harness across his burly chest. At his belt hung a ring of keys. He stopped abruptly and stared at the intruders.

  Nobody moved. Then Nakor smiled hesitantly. “Hi,” he said.

  The man reached over his shoulder and drew out an enormous broadsword. Then, before anyone could react, he stepped forward and plunged the blade down into the altar. Nakor blinked in confusion.

  “Don’t mind me. I’m just here for the nightly altar-stabbing.”

  Whoo and Pynne looked at each other. Then, with a shrug, Whoo pulled his bow off his shoulder and fired in one smooth motion.

  Oh, sure. Let that girl die, but you’ll fight to protect the altar?

  The arrow pierced the center of the leather harness, sending the man stumbling back into the door.

  “Show off,” Pynne commented. Then Galadrion vaulted over the altar and used a dagger to finish the man off.

  Whoo flew over to join her, studying the man. Bending down, he retrieved the keys from the man’s belt.

  “Why do we always have to keep killing everyone?” Nakor asked sadly.

  I literally started giggling when I read this line. Oh, Nakor. You poor, magnificently murderous angst-machine.

  Whoo looked at him curiously. “I didn’t see much of a choice.”

  “Didn’t you see the way he attacked that innocent, helpless altar?”

  “I know,” Nakor answered. “I just wish there were a way to avoid it.”

  “He would have tried to kill us if he had been a little more quick-witted,” Galadrion commented. “Maybe he would have tried to stab us instead of that altar.”

  She looked closely at the surface of the altar, from which the hilt of a broadsword still protruded. “It looks like there was already a crack here for him to stick the sword into,” she observed.

  Jenn ran over to study the altar. “I wonder what it does,” she murmured to herself.

  Then Flame let out a loud shriek, flapping his wings while clutching to Nakor’s shoulder. He looked down in confusion, trying to figure out what had frightened the bird. He cleared his throat, and the others looked at him expectantly.

  “Those pillars didn’t used to be empty,” he said.

  Where two crystal spiders had been, the tops of the pillars were now bare. They followed Nakor’s gaze to where the two spiders sat staring at them from the far side of the room.

  The spiders are very sportsmanlike, and would never attack an opponent who wasn’t ready.

  As they watched, one spider moved with surprising speed at Nakor. Whipping out his rapier, he leapt to one side and lashed out. There was a metallic clash, and the spider turned to stare menacingly at him. It made a quiet tinkling noise as it began to circle around him.

  Combat tip: always tinkle BEFORE the fight starts.

  “Watch out!” shouted Whoo.

  Jenn leapt up onto the altar as the second spider came racing toward her. Whoo fired an arrow at it, but the spider didn’t notice.

  Pynne flew into the air and began to gesture with her hands. Then she stopped, remembering the uselessness of magic inside the temple. She hovered, feeling helpless, as Whoo fired another futile shot at the spider.

  That’s right, magic doesn’t work in here. Which means these are perfectly mundane giant crystal spiders, just like the ones you’d find in your back yard.

  The spider at the altar stared for a moment. Then it cautiously began to scale the side, climbing after Jenn.

  Jenn backed away, then made a running leap off the top of the altar, nimbly avoiding the protruding sword.

  The spider dropped down and began to go after Jenn.

  Struck by an idea, Pynne flew over and wrenched the sword from its resting place. There was a slight click as it came free, and she looked hopefully over to the spiders. There was no change. Frustrated, she dropped the sword with a clatter.

  Nakor lashed out with his rapier again, driving the spider back with the force of his swing. It glared, its clear eyes reflecting Nakor’s image back at him. Then, its pincers spread open and a small stream of clear liquid shot out at Nakor’s legs.

  I wrote about a battle with crystal spiders in a short story called “Mightier than the Sword.” In the story, the spiders had escaped from a book described as “
typical fantasy crap, with goblins and dragons and elves and magic,” written by a “third-rate hack.” I swear to LeGuin, I wasn’t thinking of this book when I wrote that story. At least not consciously.

  He looked down in shock as the liquid hardened, encasing his lower legs in the same clear crystal that the spider seemed to be made of. Unable to walk, he swung his sword back and forth, trying to keep the spider at bay.

  The spider circled around behind him, evading Nakor’s swings. Then it approached, pincers chiming as they opened and closed.

  Nakor turned as much as he could, unable to reach the spider with his sword. He watched as it came closer. Then a large object came crashing down, and the spider shattered into pieces.

  He looked over at Galadrion, then down at the spider. He grinned. Galadrion had taken one of the heavy pillars and smashed it into the spider. Then Nakor raised an eyebrow. Galadrion was dressed in her customary white shirt and brown trousers. Where was her cloak?

  Galadrion SMASH! Also, this is raised eyebrow count: 14

  The second spider thrashed angrily, confused by the black cloth that blinded it.

  Quickly, Jenn grabbed at the corners of Galadrion’s cloak, pulling them together into a crude sack.

  Galadrion walked over and took the trapped spider from Jenn. She whirled it over her head a few times, then sent both the cloak and spider hurling into a wall. There was a crashing sound, and splinters of crystal fell from within the cloak.

  Nakor winced as he hammered at his glasslike prison with the hilt of his dagger. Shards of crystal were falling away, and one had sliced a finger. Wrapping his hand with the edge of his robe, he continued to smash his way free.

  “We don’t seem to be very good at remaining subtle,” Whoo observed.

  With a strong jerk, Nakor wrenched one of his legs free. He grinned. “I guess we know what the sword did now, don’t we?” Reaching down, he freed his other leg. “So, do you think they know we’re here?” he asked.

  “We weren’t exactly quiet,” Pynne observed wearily.

  There was a shout from the tunnel behind them.

  “How dare you intrude upon this sacred site?” demanded a priest of Olara, stepping into the light. He raised a hand. “The price for such insolence is death.”

  “Wait,” cried Nakor. “We have a coupon for half-price insolence!”

  Then he shouted as Flame dove out of the air, clawing at his eyes. He ducked aside and the bird raked one of his cheeks with his talons.

  Furious, the priest sent a bolt of green energy crackling at Flame, who dodged nimbly out of the way.

  “I thought magic didn’t work in here,” Jenn shouted.

  Nakor concentrated and tried to cast a spell.

  “It doesn’t,” he said, wincing as the pain coursed through his veins. “I guess Olara’s priests aren’t playing by the rules.”

  “Oh well,” Whoo commented, “I guess it’s good that we have non-magical means at our disposal.” Then he sent an arrow toward the priest.

  Presumably by shooting it from his bow, but you never know with this crew.

  It crumbled into ashes in mid-air. “You seek to defy me in the temple of my mistress?” the priest asked in a menacing voice. Then he sent another bolt of energy toward Whoo.

  Instantly, Galadrion shoved the pixie out of the way. The spell caught her in the leg, sending her crashing to the ground clutching her thigh. “Get out of here,” she said through clenched teeth.

  Pynne grabbed Jenn’s hand and flew to the nearest door. “We have to stay,” Jenn cried out.

  “I can’t use my magic, and your dagger isn’t going to help,” Pynne answered angrily.

  They both looked behind, where the priest was advancing on Nakor. Then Pynne opened the door and shoved Jenn from behind. Reluctantly, they moved into the darkness.

  No! Never split the party. It causes such headaches for the poor dungeon master.

  Nakor backed away slowly, keeping his rapier up. Behind the priest, Whoo continued to fire arrow after arrow. Like the first, these burned to ashes before getting close to their target. The priest gestured, and Nakor’s rapier flew from his hand to land behind him.

  Grabbing the altar, Galadrion pulled herself to her feet. Her leg was beginning to heal itself. Limping, she approached the priest from behind.

  “I am not so easy to surprise,” the priest said. With an evil grin, he turned and pointed a finger at Galadrion. That was when Nakor rammed his shoulder into the priest’s stomach, sending them crashing to the floor.

  There was a loud boom, and Nakor was hurled backward. He slid across the stone floor, landing against the wall. Whoo flew over to land next to him.

  “You okay?” asked the pixie.

  Okay? He was just flung onto a stone floor hard enough to slide into a wall! He’s probably got a concussion, and he’ll be lucky if nothing’s broken from—

  Nakor watched as Galadrion grabbed the priest and lifted him off the ground. Then he looked to the far side of the room, where Pynne and Jenn had escaped.

  “Go!” Galadrion yelled. Then she fell back as the priest sent another bolt of energy into her body.

  With an angry glare, Nakor wrenched the door open and went through. Whoo followed, pausing to send one last arrow at the priest.

  Oh. Never mind. I guess he’s fine.

  Galadrion smiled from the floor as they shut the door behind them. Then she looked up at the priest, who towered over her.

  She closed her eyes, feeling her wounds begin to regenerate. There were advantages to being a vampire, she thought to herself.

  Like the great dental plan! Wait, I already used that joke, didn’t I?

  Breathing heavily from his exertions, the priest pulled a dagger from within his cloak. “Your friends will not escape,” he said. “They will never leave this temple alive.”

  Then he smiled and knelt down next to Galadrion. “I’m sorry about this, I really am. But you shouldn’t have come here.” He grabbed her by the hair and wrenched her head back. Making a clucking noise with his tongue, he brought the knife to Galadrion’s throat.

  Chapter 8

  Jenn and Pynne glanced behind, hearing the thunderous noise behind them as the priest worked his magic. It was too dark in the tunnel to actually see anything, but they looked anyway. Then they turned and continued down the tunnel.

  “So now what do we do?” Jenn asked grumpily.

  Pynne didn’t know what to say. Ever since she had realized her magic was useless, she had felt vulnerable. Her inability to become invisible made it even worse.

  “I guess we try to find that scroll,” she said at last.

  There was silence, then, as they both felt their way through the damp, cold passage. Soon, even the sounds of fighting had faded from behind them.

  “Do you think they’re okay?” asked Jenn nervously.

  Pynne closed her eyes. “If they were smart, Nakor and Whoo might have escaped through another door.”

  Jenn didn’t say anything. She had seen the priest’s magic send Galadrion crashing to the ground. It was very possible that she was dead.

  Or, you know, deader.

  “We might have been able to do something,” she said angrily.

  “Yes,” Pynne replied, “we could have died.”

  Jenn didn’t answer.

  The tunnel twisted and turned around on itself, with no apparent plan.

  Much like the plot.

  “I think we’re getting higher, not lower,” Pynne observed after a while. Their eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now. A fungus on the walls gave off a faint green glow, enabling them to see.

  Where would the fantasy genre be without convenient glowing fungus to light all those dark dungeon tunnels?

  “That’s not where we want to be going, right?” Jenn asked.

  “Right,” Pynne answered with a frown. “Nakor said they were underneath the main temple when he fell through the trap door.”

  “Great,” Jenn muttered to hers
elf.

  “Maybe you should have stayed in that city after all,” Pynne teased.

  Jenn grunted in reply.

  Up ahead, the tunnel branched off in two directions. Picking one at random, they marched down the left tunnel.

  Soon the tunnels split off again, then another time. Shortly after that, they had become confused and hopelessly lost.

  “I think we’ve been here before,” Pynne commented.

  Frustrated, Jenn looked around. The tunnel went in four different directions, not including the way they had just come from. “Which way did we go last time?” she asked.

  Pynne pointed at the third tunnel.

  “Fine,” Jenn said, “Then let’s take a different one.” Then she turned and began marching up the rightmost tunnel. With a shrug, Pynne followed.

  Unlike the others, this corridor seemed relatively straight. As they walked on, it began to get warmer as well.

  Jenn stopped abruptly.

  “What is it?” asked Pynne.

  “This isn’t right,” Jenn answered. She didn’t know exactly what it was, but something about this tunnel seemed wrong somehow. “It’s too uniform, it doesn’t match the other tunnels,” she commented.

  Then she knelt down on the ground. “And look, there’s about an inch of dust down here,” she observed.

  Pynne, whose wings had been dragging in the dust for the past ten minutes, only nodded. “Nobody’s been this way for a long time,” she said.

  “I don’t like it,” Jenn said.

  “Do you want to go back?” Pynne asked.

  Jenn considered for a moment. But the idea of spending another half hour backtracking was incredibly distasteful. “No,” she answered, “I just don’t like it, that’s all.”

  Pynne nodded sympathetically.

  After a while, they began to notice a pale light coming from in front of them. It grew brighter as they moved on. It was also becoming warmer. Jenn had begun to sweat, and Pynne was gently fanning herself with her wings.

  “Look,” Pynne said with a wry grin, “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

  Jenn groaned, but it was true. Up ahead, a bright red light filled their vision. In reality, it was little more than a pale glow. But after all the time spent in near-total darkness, it was almost blinding.