Independent Jenny

by Sarah Louise Smith

  “I know. We were so shocked when she just upped and moved here but she seems so happy.”

  “Yes, I saw her last night and she was glowing.”

  “Good. I can’t wait to see her. When is she getting here?”

  “Eleven.”

  “I was so sorry to hear about you and your husband. He seemed such a nice man at your wedding.”

  “He is a nice man,” I told her, “but he made some mistakes that aren’t easy to forgive.”

  “Well it’s nice to see you looking so well.”

  “Thank you. It’s good to see you too. It’s wonderful we can all be here on such short notice.”

  “She did surprise us, but that’s our Hayley for you.”

  I smiled and nodded, knowing she’d never be the predicable type, never take years to plan a wedding. Hayley made up her mind about Guy that week we came up here and as soon as he proposed, there was no need to wait.

  “We’ll go and settle in, then. We stayed at a B&B in Glasgow last night and we’ve been driving since the early hours.”

  I said goodbye and went to find Shane already waiting in the dining room.

  “Full Scottish breakfast, please,” he said to the waitress as I approached him.

  “Sorry couldn’t wait, I’m starving.”

  He was always starving.

  “Can I have some scrambled eggs with smoked salmon please?” I asked after glancing at the menu. I looked at Shane. He looked worn out.

  “You alright?”

  “Yep. Why?”

  “I don’t know, because you told me for the first time last night that you’re thinking of breaking up with Andrew?”

  “I guess I didn’t sleep too well, but I’m alright.”

  “Okay,” I said, sensing he didn’t want to talk about it. “Well I’m here if you want to talk.”

  “I know, thank you. I feel guilty now that I stopped him moving away.”

  “Maybe he can still go.”

  “Perhaps. I don’t know for sure if I want him to, yet.”

  “You’ll work it out. Skye has a great knack of giving you space to clear your head.”

  “I bet it does,” he said, looking out of the window at the view. “I might go for a walk while you and Hayley get dolled up.”

  “Good idea.”

  I glanced towards the reception and saw Hayley’s sister, and presumably her boyfriend, getting out of a BMW and walking towards the entrance. It was starting to feel real, seeing the guests arrive, and watching the whole shebang come together.

  Breakfast came and was rather delicious. Shane and I chatted about the weddings we’d been to together in the past.

  “Remember Tina and Ben’s wedding?” Shane asked me. Tina was a friend of ours at uni. “What a big hoo-ha that was. I wonder if they’re still together.”

  “Two kids,” I told him.

  “How do you know? I haven’t seen them since the wedding, I think. Didn’t they move to London?”

  “No, Manchester. And I know because we’re all friends on Facebook, of course.”

  “Ah, of course.”

  “And then there was my cousin Vince’s wedding,” I reminded him. “When I made you pretend to be my boyfriend because I didn’t want to go alone.”

  Shane laughed. “Oh yes! I snogged a bloke in the loos. Can’t remember his name.”

  “You cheated on me? I hope none of my relatives saw you, they’ll think I can’t keep a man.”

  “It was a fun wedding, that one.”

  “They’re divorced now,” I told him. “She ran off with the best man, according to Sadie.”

  “Shame. I remember the wedding with fondness.”

  “I’ve been to a lot of weddings and that one was definitely boring.”

  “What was the best?”

  “The fairytale-themed wedding. You remember the photos? With the horse and carriage and all the costumes?”

  “Oh yeah. And the most dramatic?”

  “Maybe the one where the bridesmaid threw her cocktail over the groom’s sister? I can’t remember much else about that day, but it caused a huge row and a cat fight and the ushers had to pull them apart.”

  Shane laughed. “You should’ve taken extra snaps – bet the bride and groom wanted to remember that.”

  I shrugged. “Some things don’t need to be caught on camera.”

  “I’d have liked to have seen it.”

  “My mum’s best wedding was the one in New York. That was nice, not too tacky, just tasteful and elegant.”

  “And your wedding was pretty good. We danced a lot.”

  I smiled “Yes, we did. I threw a pretty good party, huh?”

  “The best. Shame about the groom.”

  I laughed. “I’ll try and improve on that next time.”

  “So you’re not going to repeat the date, see if you might get back together?”

  “I don’t know … I thought I might, but…”

  “Are you looking forward to seeing Will today?”

  He knew me too well.

  “Maybe,” I said, blushing.

  “Of course you are. He seems nice.”

  “He is.”

  We finished up our breakfast and Shane said he was going to go for a long walk while I primped and primed both myself and the bride, so he went off after paying the bill while I waited in the lobby for Hayley. She and Will walked in together, with Guy planning to come along a bit later as he was taking his mum out for lunch.

  Will smiled at me and my chest tingled remembering our texts. Was he really going to sleep in my room tonight? Seeing him in the cold, sober light of day, it seemed a bit embarrassing to talk about it now. His hair was scruffy and he had a bit of stubble, which made him look even better than usual. He had a suit carrier slung over his shoulder. I couldn’t wait to see him all dressed up.

  “Happy wedding day!” I said, throwing my arms around Hayley.

  “Thank you! So excited!” she squealed in my ear. Her family came down the grand staircase and she greeted them with big hugs while Will and I looked on.

  “So did you get much sleep?” I asked him.

  “No, I really do hate that bed. Just awful. You?”

  “Yes, I slept very well on my memory foam mattress in my lovely humongous bed thank you.”

  “Rub it in, why don’t you.”

  “Offer still stands for tonight,” I said, unable to look at him for embarrassment.

  “Well, I might just take you up on that,” he said, not moving his eyes from mine. I looked back at him and the look in his eyes made me catch my breath.

  “Come on, Jenny,” Hayley appeared by my side and pulled my arm.

  “I’ll see you later,” I told Will as I let Jenny lead me away.

  “Have fun getting ready girls.”

  Okay, so he seemed interested. In a one night thing tonight at least. But what about tomorrow? What about when he went back to Glasgow and I went back to Bath? I was setting myself up for another fall but I couldn’t help look back at him. He was watching us climb the stairs and he winked at me. I smiled back and concentrated on the task at hand; walking up stairs with a man like that winking at me was no mean feat.

  The next three hours were spent getting myself and Hayley ready. Her mother and sister came in a few times to chat to us, and we did our nails, hair, make-up, all the while Hayley chattered away about Guy, how in love they were, how no man had ever compared to him. It was lovely to see the joy on her face.

  The dress she’d managed to find only three days ago was beautiful, albeit a tiny bit big for her. It was strapless with a pretty, embroidered bodice, a straight skirt and a short train. I called the front desk and asked if they had any safety pins, and someone brought some up for her. I fastened the dress a little tighter for her at the back.

  “No one will notice the pins,” I told her, “and now it fits perfectly.”

  “It’s funny, I’d have spent months looking for the perfect designer dress and yet here I am, wearin
g one that probably cost ten times less, and I still feel like a princess.”

  “You are a princess. You look stunning, Hayley.”

  She grinned and I set about fitting a tiara in her hair to finish it off. When she was finally ready, I left her in her parent’s room and went downstairs. Will was sitting in the lobby chatting to a man I recognised as working at the hotel. He was showing him something on his iPad, but I didn’t really pay any attention. Way more interesting was how he looked. His hair was still kind of messy and floppy, but he’d shaved and looked really dapper in his suit.

  “Hello, handsome,” I said, a little tipsy on the champagne Hayley’s mum had brought up to our room.

  “You look amazing,” Will said, standing up to kiss me on the cheek. His lips felt hot.

  “I hope you don’t mind, I was just showing Wayne here your photos. From your week here.”

  “Oh, thanks,” I said, feeling embarrassed.

  “I’d like to buy some from you, if that’s alright?” asked Wayne. “For our hotel website. And I’ve got a friend who runs a tourist website who may be interested. And this one would make a great postcard.”

  He turned the iPad towards me and showed me a shot I’d taken at Elgol. The Cuillins were in the distance and there was a sparkle of sunlight on the water.

  “Thank you, I’m flattered,” I told him. “Perhaps we can chat more about it tomorrow?”

  “That’d be good.”

  I held up my camera. “Photo of the best man?”

  Will stood up and I directed him to an ornate door leading to the room where the ceremony was taking place. He pulled a smile but looked a bit uncomfortable.

  “Just relax. You look handsome.”

  Darn it, he was so handsome today, it took all my willpower not to invite him up to my bedroom far earlier than planned.

  “You look pretty good yourself. I love the dress,” he said, looking from my eyes to my shoes and back up again. Funnily enough, Hayley had spent more on my outfit than her own.

  “Thank you,” I said, feeling my cheeks grow warmer as I took one more shot. Guy appeared in the doorway and I took some of them together.

  “Shall I take one of you two together?” Guy asked after I’d blasted a few shots. I didn’t particularly like to be in the photos myself but I knew Hayley wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t appear in a few. I handed Guy my camera, told him what to do, and stood next to Will. He put his arm around my waist and rested his hand on my hip. It felt like it fitted there perfectly.

  “You really do look beautiful,” he said, looking at me. “I like your hair like that.”

  Hayley had curled it for me.

  “Thank you.” I felt myself blush again and a tingling sensation appeared where his hand was. I smiled at Guy and he took the photo.

  Hayley’s mum appeared and told us to get to our places. Will winked at me again as he turned and followed her and Guy into the room. He had to stop doing that or I’d explode with the rush of lust he kept leaving me with.

  I went into the lobby as Hayley and her dad were coming down the staircase.

  “Oh, you look wonderful,” said Wayne, the hotel manager who wanted to buy some of my photos.

  “Thank you,” Hayley beamed. “You should join us, there’s plenty of room. Everyone’s welcome.” Wayne and the lady from reception went off to the ceremony room and then it was our turn to walk down the aisle.

  “Ready?” Hayley’s dad asked her. “Yes,” she said, looking serene and calm.

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  The music started and I walked down the aisle, eyes fixed on Will, wondering what the rest of the afternoon and evening had in store for us. His eyes didn’t break away from mine until I reached him and I gave him my best smile before taking my place at the side, where I was joined by Hayley’s dad. I searched out Shane, who was sitting with Hayley’s sister and her boyfriend. He had his best suit on and looked pretty handsome himself.

  The ceremony was simple but lovely, and then we moved into a small dining room with a long table to accommodate the whole party. I sat between Will and Shane, who was talking animatedly to Hayley’s sister about the love of his life: his coffee shop.

  The food was good; the Prosecco even better.

  “I guess I should make my speech,” Will whispered to me.

  “Have you prepared anything?”

  “No, not really enough time was there?”

  “At least it’s not a large crowd,” I said, looking at the small gathering.

  He chinked his glass with a spoon and stood up.

  He told us all about Guy as a kid, a few funny anecdotes, how crazy in love he was with Hayley even at sixteen and some nice words about Hayley. And then he said:

  “I find it hard to understand love, sometimes. I think sometimes we mistake infatuation for love. I’ve only ever been truly, deeply in love once myself, but that’s enough to know it when I see it. And I see it here today. You two are surely soul mates and I wish you every happiness.”

  Huh.

  He’d only ever truly been in love once.

  He had also told me that he’d loved me, back then, when we were kids, hadn’t he?

  So did that mean he’d never loved Mandy, deeply? Or did that mean that the love he had for me was in fact just infatuation. We were so young, after all.

  I swigged another big mouthful of Prosecco.

  “To the bride and groom!” We all raised our glasses and then it was Guy’s turn, but I didn’t want to listen. I’d heard enough wedding speeches to know it was rare you got a good one and his was only average, not that Hayley seemed to mind. Then her dad spoke, and all the while I was just glancing between him and back to Will by my side, wondering what that all meant and how he really felt. I continued to drink. Will poured me another glass as the last round of applause died down.

  Seeing as there were so few of us, no disco had been planned and so I spent the rest of the evening drinking yet more bubbles, watching Shane get drunk on whisky and chat to anyone who would listen, including Will as he drank beer.

  I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, or being around Will again, but a thought came over me and I was suddenly, absolutely sure of what I had to do.

  I went outside, pulled my mobile out of the little bag Hayley had given me that morning, and called Ross.

  “Hey babe, how’s the wedding?”

  “It’s over, Ross.”

  “What?”

  “You and me. I just wanted to say. No more dates.”

  “Are you drunk? Don’t get angry now, babe. We’ll talk when you get home.”

  “No, listen to me. It’s over. For sure. I don’t love you. Oh my god, that feels good to say. I don’t love you, Ross. I forgive you, but I don’t want you. Good bye!”

  I hung up, threw my mobile back in my bag and marched back in, feeling liberated. Will was dancing with Hayley and I watched them with a smile. When the song was over, he released her to Guy and came and chatted to me and Shane for a while. I was pleased to see them getting along. Eventually Shane wandered off to mingle and left us to it.

  Now and then, Will would stop talking and look at me, and for a second I thought this was it, he was going to make his move. I silently told him to kiss me but he didn’t appear to know what I was thinking.

  At some point, Shane said goodnight. At another, so did Hayley and Guy. And then I realised Will and I were the only ones left talking. Even the bar staff had gone home.

  “I’ve had so much fun with you tonight,” I told him, the invincible bubble of drunkenness leaving me free to be open with him. “I always have fun with you. That week we spent here together was one of the best weeks ever.”

  “I agree,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I got home. Mandy never stood a chance, not really.”

  “Seriously?”

  “She never stood a chance, Jenny. Even before we got married. It was always you.”

  The butterflies stopped for a moment and all I fe
lt was superbly, sublimely happy.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I should have told you before I left for Scotland, and I should have told you when we were here, but I was trying to do the right thing.”

  “I don’t know if you should have told me back then. I was too young, I wouldn’t necessarily have said I felt the same way.”

  “And now?”

  I could see the fear in his eyes. How could he not know that I felt the same way? That I wanted him? I tried to find the words, the alcohol fading away and making me feel rather sober again.

  “I got home from Skye and I was miserable. I just wanted to be here with you again and I have thought of you every single day since. I’ve been replaying every moment we had during that week, and I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing you again.”

  “Well, here I am.”

  “And here I am.” I held my breath. “Here we are.”

  He smiled, a big happy smile and I returned it, not caring about the distance or the logistics, but only about the moment, and knowing that he wanted me. Will wanted me. It was a good feeling.

  We were sitting on two seats with our backs to the wall. I shuffled my seat closer and moved my face close to his. He leaned forward and he kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. It started delicately and slowly, then he had his arms around me and I could feel the current running between us.

  “Do you want to come up to my room then?” I asked after finally pulling away. Wow, he was even better to look at when he had that lustful expression in his eyes.

  “I do have my own room, I must confess.”

  “Oh, right.”

  “But I’d much rather come to yours.”

  I stood up and held out my hand. “Come on then.”

  We made our way out into the lobby, past the receptionist who was reading a magazine, and up the sweeping staircase. As I climbed the stairs, holding my dress up slightly with my left hand, Will grabbed hold of my right and I gave him a sideways smile. He squeezed my hand and started to climb the stairs faster, two at a time, pulling me up beside him. I giggled and led the way at the top of the landing.

  After fiddling with the lock – maybe I was still a little tipsy after all – we were alone in my room and all the nerves and anxiety slipped away. I watched Will close the curtains and come towards me and I knew I loved him. I wasn’t just trying to move on like I had been with Aiden, or forcing myself to make an effort like I had earlier this week with Ross. I knew I would be fine if I was alone, in fact I could be happy alone. I’d proved I could be independent. But now he was here, I didn’t want to be.