Don’t Tell: The Series

by Paige, Violet

  God I wanted that to be true. I’d do anything for that man. And his son.

  Before I could ask her what she thought about our situation, Cal whisked Sasha up from behind and planted a kiss on her mouth.

  “Cal, save some of that for later. I’m in the middle of serious girl talk.” She slapped him on the butt. “You ok, Kaitlyn?”

  “Yes, absolutely. You two go dance or something.”

  I smiled and watched as they wandered to dance floor. I envied how Sasha approached her relationship. She didn’t let anything get in the way of her and Cal—not the age difference, not their friends, and not even her own heart. She was smart.

  From my view on the lounge chair, I watched as the luau guests started arriving. A stretch SUV pulled into the parking lot and I lost count after the fifteenth person climbed from the vehicle. The DJ cranked the music, and I felt the energy swirling around me. In ten minutes, the Dunes turned into a revolving parking lot for taxicabs and shuttles. The guest continued to arrive.

  I took another sip of my coconut drink, and straightened my dress. The party had started and I couldn’t sit up here all night thinking about Cole. I walked down to the ticket entrance. We had opted for wristbands to tag all the paid party guests. Mindy and Tara were behind the table collecting money and looping fluorescent bands around outstretched wrists.

  It really had all come together. If only Cole was here to see it.

  “Do you two need any help?” I asked over the bass from the speakers.

  “No, I think we’re ok. We’ve got the best spot in the house. We get to talk to the hot guys before they even make it to the dance floor.” Tara giggled. “And I get the extra pleasure of leing them.”

  Mindy gave me a more reassuring look. “Don’t worry, Kaitlyn. I’ll make her behave and keep her from running off with any of your guests.” She yanked a handful of leis from Tara, and placed them back on the table.

  “Really, they can lei themselves. You don’t have to be so touchy-touchy, Tara.”

  They seemed comfortable with their banter, like sisters. “Thanks, girls. Let me know if you need a break or something.”

  Confident Mindy and Tara would take care of the money table, I refilled my cup and walked toward the boardwalk. Last week, Cole had convinced me to walk with him to see a star display he promised I wouldn’t forget. I smiled, knowing I didn’t remember a single star from that night, but would always remember that first kiss.

  The couple I had checked in last night slid past me, walking hand in hand for an early night stroll on the beach. I think they were from Maryland, but with all the check-ins yesterday, I couldn’t keep everyone straight.

  “I thought that was you up here, babe.” As soon as I heard his voice, my chest hardened. It used to make me smile.

  I spun around the best I could in my sandals. “What in the hell are you doing here, Branch?”

  He was wearing a smirk and a pink polo. He had popped the collar. “It’s a party.” He downed the rest of whatever was in his cup.

  “Now that you’ve seen it, why don’t you leave?” Just being this close to Branch set me on edge.

  I had seen that look in his eye before. The one that gleamed when he stumbled upon a party that was like a free night in Vegas. Branch in Vegas was a scary thing. I never thought he would be here tonight. If I could have done anything to prevent this from happening, I would have. Why didn’t I predict this party would draw him in like a moth to a flame?

  “Whoa. You sound a little hostile. Still upset about the breakup?” He leaned over to whisper in my ear.

  I stepped back. “No. I’m not upset about the stupid breakup. Why would you even say that? I’m upset about you. Where’s your date?” Branch looked surprisingly unattended.

  “About that. I totally meant what I said about keeping my options open. They are wide open.” He winked.

  “Eww. Are you implying what I think you are?”

  Everything about this made me feel sick. I spent over a year of my life with a complete douchebag.

  He touched the side of my arm. “Were you this hot when we were dating?” His smile widened. “I might have ended things too soon.” His hand moved from my shoulder to twirl my hair through his fingers. “I kind of like that new haircut on you and your boobs look awesome in that dress.” He paused. “I think I miss you, babe.”

  I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I stood, stunned as Branch continued. “Want to get a drink? Maybe try out the Waves Oasis. It’s got to be better than this place.” He cast a look toward the two rows of rooms. “You’ve still got a room there.”

  My stomach flipped and I repressed a gag. I wanted to punch that smile off his face, but, I promised Cole I would only use my self-defense skills in times of real self-defense, which I hoped meant never.

  “First of all, there is nowhere better than the Dunes.” I was feeling overprotective of the motel I had worked so hard to make bright and shiny. “And second, you were right to end it. I should have broken up with you a long time ago, but I was so used to doing everything you wanted, I just started going through the motions. I’m the one responsible for it dragging out until it met a slow pathetic death. You’re an asshole. You’ve always been an asshole. And you aren’t welcome here.”

  His eyes flashed a wounded look and I thought I might have gone too far. It never occurred to me I could hurt Branch. A slap to the face might have been kinder.

  He hung his head. “Yeah, I was right. There’s nothing for me here.” He stepped back on to the wooden platform, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked toward the party.

  “Branch, wait. I didn’t—”

  But, two strides into chasing down my ex and screaming his name across the boardwalk, I saw Cole staring at me from the pool deck. Shit. Shit. Shit.

  31

  Cole

  I wasn’t sure what I saw. Kaitlyn was yelling at some guy in a fucking pink shirt. I balled my fists at my side and marched over. I felt the vein in the side of my neck bulge. If he hurt her, I’d kill him.

  “Are you ok?” I was only half looking at her. The guy wasn’t so far down the beach I couldn’t reach him.

  “Yes. Yes. I’m good. That was…”

  “You knew him?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. It was Branch.” She lowered her eyes. “My ex.”

  The jealousy caught me off guard. Now I really wanted to beat his face into the sand.

  “What the fuck is he doing here, Kaitlyn?”

  Her eyes flared. “I didn’t invite him.”

  “Why is he here?”

  She looked around. “Everyone is here. We invited the entire island.”

  I gritted my teeth. I didn’t know what to say. I was a jealous dick.

  “I don’t like the bastard.”

  “I told him to go. I don’t want him here. You know that?” She searched my face.

  I looked into her green eyes. “Yeah. I know it.”

  Her hand slipped into mine. “I think we need to talk.”

  “Yeah. We do.”

  I’d put it off. Threw the inevitable into a compartment where I didn’t have to face things. But it was bound to catch up to us. Kaitlyn’s vacation was over. I had to establish normal for Grayson and I had to make sure the custody was legally sealed in case Amber changed her mind.

  We couldn’t ignore it any longer. Seeing Kaitlyn with that asshole snapped me back to reality. What the hell was I doing?

  We walked away from the luau, toward the cove on the beach. Lisa was at the house with Grayson. It wasn’t a great place to talk this through. I stopped to grab a blanket from the outside cubby at the bottom of the deck.

  We reached the dunes and I spread it out. Kaitlyn sat.

  “I-I need to tell you something.” I could tell she was nervous.

  “All right. You go first then.”

  “Ryan’s going to be home the day after tomorrow.”

  I lowered my eyes to the sand. “I know.”

  “You wha
t?”

  “He emailed me this week. A few times actually. I got one this morning from him.” I had been running around getting all this shit ready. I didn’t have time to tell her. And there wasn’t going to be a good time.

  She blinked. “So you know I have to go back for his homecoming?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. You do.”

  “But I think you should come too. He’ll want to see you and it’s our chance to explain everything.”

  I shook my head. “Not this time.”

  “What do you mean? You have to go.”

  “The man is coming home from over a year in the desert. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be home. I’m not dumping this on my best friend. He doesn’t deserve it.”

  “Deserve it? Our relationship isn’t a punishment to Ryan.”

  “I know that, Kaitlyn. But it’s not news he wants to hear. He’s never going to want to hear it. And I have no idea what he’s been through on this tour. What if he can’t handle it? I’ve seen stronger men crumble over there. It’s dangerous to put this out there.”

  The wind howled through the cove. “What are you saying? You think I should just go?”

  “No. I don’t want you to go. I need you.” I closed my eyes. “I want you. I want you here with me.” I sighed. “But it doesn’t mean I get what I want. You need to see your brother.”

  I saw the tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. She might as well have punched me. I never wanted to make her cry. I was supposed to protect her. Keep her safe. Never hurt her.

  “I don’t want to lie to my family. I’ve waited ten years for you Cole Thomas. Ten years. And now you’re saying we had a good run? I should just let this go?”

  “It’s not what I want. I want you.”

  “But you have me.” The first tear rolled down her cheek.

  “And you’ll always have me.”

  “But?” With that one look she shredded my heart.

  “What do you want me to say, Kaitlyn? That I want something I can’t have anymore? It’s killing me? Letting you get on a plane tomorrow is going to be fucking horrible.”

  “Then don’t. Come with me. We’ll take Grayson. My mother will love it. She’ll love him. And Ryan has support. He’ll figure this out. My brother is too stubborn to do anything but stay strong. He sounds fine. My mom says he’s fine. We can all do this.” She crawled into my lap.

  “Cole, you’ve spent the last two years sacrificing everything in your life for other people. For Pops. For Grayson. And now for Ryan. Don’t you think you deserve to come first? Don’t you deserve happiness?”

  I huffed. “I don’t think about it.”

  She rubbed the side of my cheek. “I love you. I love you Cole Thomas. And if you’re saying you don’t want this anymore. You’re done with us, I’ll get up and walk. I swear I can do it. I’ve done it before.” Her eyes were hard. “But if you love me, and you’re pushing me away to sacrifice this for one more person, I’m staying here. And we’re figuring this out.”

  “Kaitlyn,” I warned.

  “I’m serious. I love you. And I love Grayson. And I love Ryan. They don’t have be mutually exclusive. I can love all three of you.”

  God, where had she been all these years? This girl who had turned into an incredible woman. Her heart was capable of only seeing the good in people. She could love unconditionally. She had taken on the world this week and she never protested.

  “I love you.”

  She smiled. “Really?”

  “I love you.” My hands wound around her back. “So I guess that means we’re going to tell Ryan.”

  She wiped a tear from her cheek. “Thank God. Because I can’t leave without you.”

  I pressed my forehead to hers. “I know, baby.”

  I felt as if we were getting ready to enter a hurricane, but I couldn’t let her go. And I wouldn’t.

  32

  Kaitlyn

  There were probably better ways to do this, but I held Cole’s hand as we stood on my parents’ front porch. He looked at me.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  I nodded. Grayson was asleep on Cole’s shoulder. The flight from Texas had worn him out.

  It was a scrambled mess to leave the Dunes, especially at the height of vacationers, but Lance had stepped up. Lisa offered to take a few morning shifts and her sister could watch Tassels.

  Hank had a repairman on call if there were any emergencies. Once Cole made the decision, he was all in. No matter what, we were doing this together.

  My chest prickled. I exhaled. “Ok.”

  I knocked as I pushed the door opened. “Mom? Dad?” I called. “We’re here.”

  I heard my dad’s heavy footsteps in the hallway before he entered the foyer.

  “Sweetheart.” His eyes dropped from my face to our clutched hands. “Cole?”

  “Sir.” He reached forward to shake my dad’s hand. “Good to see you.”

  I bit my lip. This was round one. “Dad, where’s mom?”

  “Working on potato salad. What’s going on?” I realized he was speaking softer because of Grayson.

  “I’d rather do this as few times as possible,” I explained.

  Cole squeezed my shoulder and followed me to the kitchen.

  “Honey.” My mom rounded the kitchen island and hugged me. “And Cole.” She beamed. “It’s been too long. I’m so glad Kaitlyn tracked you down. And look how cute Grayson is. I can’t wait to hug him.”

  I blushed.

  “Janet.” My dad’s voice was stern.

  “What?” She looked at us.

  “Cole and I wanted to talk to you about something.” He was still clutching Grayson. I knew if he tried to put him down he’d wake up.

  “I’ll just keep stirring the potato salad. We have about two hours before we need to leave for the base. Ryan is in the air now. Go on, tell me what’s happening.”

  “Mom, please stop worrying about the potato salad and look at us.”

  My dad folded his arms.

  Cole slipped a strong arm around me and I watched my mom’s mouth drop.

  “We came here together. Cole and me,” I started my explanation. “We’re together.”

  My parents were speechless.

  Cole cleared his throat. “We realize it could make everyone uncomfortable to start.”

  My dad peered at Cole. “You’re like a second son to us. There’s a big age difference between you two. And you have a son. With a woman you didn’t marry.”

  “Dad,” I hushed. I didn’t need Grayson to hear any of this. I looked at Cole. “Why don’t you see if he’ll go down in the guest room.”

  He nodded and walked out of the kitchen.

  My mom dropped the spoon. “I love Cole,” she whispered. “But what are you doing, Kaitlyn? He’s way too old for you. And his life is complicated. He’s a father. A father.”

  “I know exactly how complicated it is. And I just want you to support us. You’ll get used to it. And Grayson is adorable. I already love him too.”

  My dad shook his head. “You’re too young to raise a child. And it’s Cole. He’s practically a brother.”

  Cole walked back in the room. “I left the door cracked, but he’s out. The airplane was too exciting.” He cracked a smile.

  Did my parents see what I did? Couldn’t they see what I loved about him? I knew there was a toddler in the picture. I knew Cole was a man whore before. I knew everything about his life. And I loved him.

  “I’d like to talk to Ryan myself,” Cole explained. “It’s best if I break it to him.”

  My mom sighed. “This? This is what we’re dealing with today?”

  “Mom, come on. It’s going to be ok.”

  She threw her hands in the air. “All right. I have to work on this dinner.”

  I looked at Cole. That was our cue to get out of the kitchen. But we had made it over the first hurdle. Only one more and we could coast home.

  33

  Cole

  He’d
been home four hours. I had ridden with the Sinclaires to the base. It was an eerie feeling being in the hanger, watching the guys unload from the jet.

  Part of me wanted to run over and grab gear and toss it on the flatbed truck. I wanted one of those uniforms instead of the T-shirt I was wearing.

  But holding Grayson’s hand I knew I had done the right thing. And with legal papers waiting to be signed when I got back to Texas, it was the best fucking decision I’d made. My son needed me.

  I thanked God there were still men like Ryan who would fight the fight while I raised my son.

  Ryan was outside on the patio. Kaitlyn and her mom were washing dishes in the kitchen. Mr. Sinclaire had pulled out some of Ryan’s toys from the attic and was racing Matchbox cars with Grayson.

  This was my chance.

  I poured two glasses of bourbon and walked outside, handing one to my best friend.

  “Thanks, brother.” He grinned. “You know how good this tastes?”

  I nodded. “Sure do. There’s no good liquor in the desert.”

  We stood in silence for a minute.

  “How’s Texas? The motel?”

  It was a good place to start. “Actually turning around for the first time in two years. I think I’m going to be able to make it work.”

  “And you seriously don’t want to sell it to one of those beach developers?”

  I laughed. “Can you imagine what Pop would do?”

  Ryan chuckled. “I see your point.” He sipped the bourbon. “I’m glad it’s working out for you. And I’m glad you’re here. Can’t believe you brought the kid too.”

  “After this week I’m going to have full custody. Amber leaves for London at the end of the summer. I didn’t want to start full-time parenting by leaving him behind. And he loved the plane.”

  “Maybe he’ll be a pilot. Please don’t let him join the Air Force.”

  “Corps all the way.” I grinned, slapping him on the back.