The Marriage Pact (Viral Series)

by Mara White

  “Should charge you a consulting fee. Unless you harvest soybeans, I think you’re barking up the wrong tree. We got it under control.”

  “Will you let me know if you need me?”

  His question was so loaded, Ryan wondered if Jackie could possibly grasp all the meanings it held.

  “Goodnight, Jack . . .”

  “Miss you, Sport.”

  “You, too.”

  Ryan hung up the phone and had that nagging feeling that it was his fault they never ended up together. Like there was a final test he just couldn’t pass. Jackie was a code that he was constantly on the verge of breaking. Somehow, tonight felt more final than some of their other goodbyes.

  He was six days out from leaving for his mission in Guatemala, bags packed, inoculated against foreign pathogens, Swiss Army knife, sleeping bag, water filter, electrical adaptors, ace bandages, Neosporin and Pepto, bug spray and sunblock—he’d gone down the list with careful attention to detail. He’d said goodbye to his friends and had a farewell dinner with his parents and his brother Carlos. He had saved his last goodbye for Jackie because she was the most emotional one. He wrote her an email, deleted it, then wrote her another one. This happened five or six times, until he decided to give up. Realizing he should concentrate more on a goodbye with his current girlfriend, he shut his laptop and packed it into the front of his suitcase. He’d been dating Carol for a while, yet he still couldn’t get over the girl’s whose broken heart broke his own.

  “Carol, don’t wait for me,” Ryan said. They’d agreed to say goodbye at a simple restaurant, more potpie and milkshakes than charred sea bass and Riesling. Carol was good; she was forthright and honest. She definitely didn’t play mind games or pack her feelings away or incite any drama. Which should have been a plus, but really it wasn’t. Ryan wanted the passion and conviction, the fun and the endless challenge. He wanted freezing cold feet on his calves, the spontaneity and the rebellion.

  “Of course, I will, don’t be silly.” They were sharing a chocolate shake. Ryan thought Carol could just put on a poodle skirt and it might as well be 1958.

  “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be fair to you. I know you want a family.” He dragged a fry through ketchup and wondered how he could make this easier.

  “I want one with you, Ryan.” Carol hadn’t touched her food. Ryan felt like it couldn’t be possible for her to be in love with him. They’d never shared that spark, that intense intimacy he associated with love. Carol was devoted, loyal, but there was no chemistry. He really, really liked her a lot. That was the absolute extent of his passion for their relationship.

  “I’ll miss you,” he said and squeezed her hand reassuringly, not wanting to hurt her feelings. He wasn’t going to miss her. He finally felt alive, like life was speeding up, zipping past opportunities he didn’t want to escape him.

  The wind had picked up and the sun had gone down by the time they walked outside. Carol had beautiful speckled hazel eyes. Her blonde hair was shoulder length and she wore it back in a simple barrette. She pulled her wool coat closed and Ryan did the top button for her.

  They said goodbye in the parking lot, a warm kiss and a hug, gotten into separate cars and gone off in opposite directions down the road. Ryan made sure to tell his parents to check in on her. Make sure she was doing alright, but also to encourage her to move on. He was too chicken to flat out say no to her. Maybe he could have been happy with Carol. She would be a great wife and a mother, he knew she would. Ryan knew that he wouldn’t be a good husband for her. His energy and drive had been all locked up in some hidden vault that even he’d forgotten the location of. He hoped Guatemala would help him remember what it felt like to fight for something he believed in.

  Chapter 18

  Jackie

  Rose and Jackie were in the hospital. The same hospital her mother died in. The same hospital her sisters were brought to. Dead. This time, for her, it was a happy event. Rose was breathing hard. Whoosh Whoosh Whoosh. “Mothereffer. I will stab him.”

  Jackie grinned and held Rose’s hand. “Screw him. You got me.”

  “Thank God for that,” Rose gritted. “But right now, I really want to be mad at something. This hurts.”

  “Want more ice chips?” Rose shook her head.

  “Just don’t leave me.” Rose’s eyes were wide. Scared. Jackie couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind. She was single and about to have a baby. The last few months, Rose and Jackie had bonded. Turned out Rose had gone to school to be a therapist, and although at first Jackie had been reluctant to talk to her about her life, Rose had finally cracked her stone wall and out spilled years of emotions. Jackie was finally able to see just past her grief and plan for a future. Rose knew all about Ryan. She knew just about everything about Jackie which slightly unnerved her, considering how insanely wise Rose was. The only thing Rose didn’t know what that Ryan had called three months ago. And now he was probably in some third world country, saving all the women he could because he couldn’t save her. Jackie felt responsible for Ryan’s chivalrous attitude in life. Like she had caused it. Would he be doing this abroad project if he’d never met her? Was it what he really wanted in life? Needed? He definitely had a hero complex that was equal parts heart-stoppingly sweet and toe-stompingly annoying.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” she said, while she grimaced at the strength in which Rose could squeeze.

  “Well you should. I mean after this baby comes out.” Rose grunted and started breathing heavily again. Contractions looked horrific.

  Jackie rolled her eyes. “Stop. Will you just focus on you right now?”

  “Promise me that by the time this baby is one, you will move out of this godforsaken town and get on with your life.” Rose gripped her hand with incredible strength.

  Jackie looked her right in the eyes. “Oh, I see, you just want me around to help with all the hard infant stuff.”

  Rose laughed, despite being in pain. “Yes. Absolutely. You rock the no sleep look way better than I do.” They had been at the hospital for seven hours already. The last three of which were all contractions and deep breathing.

  The door opened and Rose’s doctor walked in. “The nurses tell me you’re about ready to push. Let’s take a gander.”

  “Doc. do not look down there.” Rose laughed. She’d developed a massive crush on her OB during her pregnancy. But who could blame her, she picked the hottest doctor Jackie had ever seen to deliver her baby. Doctor Coralis chuckled, which sent her spiraling into memories of the sound of Ryan’s voice. When would it end? Eventually, Ryan wouldn’t pop into her head, right? There had to be a time when he would cease to exist in her heart, her memories, her life.

  “Jackie, are you ready to help?”

  She snapped to attention and stared at Coralis. “Help how?”

  Rose smacked her arm. “Don’t chicken out now! I can’t.”

  “I need you to hold one of Rose’s legs—just behind the knee for her. Rose, focus on the other leg and pushing.”

  She blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what was actually about to happen. “Oh yeah. I can do that.” Jackie lifted Rose’s swollen leg and held steady. Rose paled when she looked at her. “What is it?” she asked.

  “I’m terrified,” Rose said. Jackie nodded.

  “I am, too. For you.” Rose made a face but then smiled.

  “We’re both going to be just fine.”

  “Uh huh,” Jackie said.

  “Rose, let’s push,” Coralis instructed.

  Jackie and Rose looked at each other. This was big. Jackie knew it was a moment she’d never forget. Her eyes welled up when Rose nodded. She inhaled deeply and bore down. All Jackie could do was hold her leg and whisper words of encouragement. It looked brutal. The pushing. The pain. Her jaw dropped when a head crowned. She almost fainted when she saw shoulders.

  “It’s a girl,” Coralis boomed. Jackie wondered if all doctors were as excited as he was to present an infant to its mother.


  “Whoa,” Jackie breathed. The tiny pink skinned bundle was still covered in afterbirth as Coralis set the baby on Rose’s chest. She watched tears stream down Rose’s cheeks as she saw her daughter for the first time. Coralis stood at the end of the bed observing and that was when it hit Jackie—there was something between them. It was so obvious now. The way he spoke to her at her check-ups. The way he watched her now. She knew that look. That was the way Ryan had looked at her so many times before. Rose glanced up and smiled at him. “She’s so tiny. So perfect,” she said. Tears slid down Rose’s red cheeks in an endless river.

  Coralis nodded with a genuine smile plastered to his face.

  “I need a minute,” Jackie said. She didn’t really. But they sure as shit did, so she kissed the baby on the forehead, then Rose, and went to get a coffee from the cafeteria.

  A quick trip to the cafeteria had turned into Jackie leaving the hospital to pick up take out for Rose because hospital food was notoriously gross. She carried the paper bag down the hall with her. It crinkled as she walked. Jackie knocked softly on the door before entering.

  “Don’t be silly, you don’t have to knock,” Rose called out.

  “How’d you know it was me?” Jackie asked.

  “Who else would be visiting?”

  Jackie cocked her head and shot her friend a pointed look. “You do have parents and a baby daddy.” Rose rolled her eyes.

  “Listen, I haven’t even called Toby to let him know I had the baby. I wanted a peaceful first twenty-four hours for my little one and me.”

  Jackie sat on the end of the bed and took out their dinner. “Speaking of the little one. What’s her name?”

  Rose looked over to the crib cart and smiled. “Lola.” Jackie grinned.

  “That’s a great name.” She stood and walked over to the baby. “Hello, little Lola,” she cooed at the sleeping infant. She stuck a finger out and stroked Lola’s tiny toes.

  Chapter 19

  Ryan

  The mission in Guatemala was near Flores in the Peten region of the country. And near meant flying from Guatemala City to Flores followed by a three hour bus trip north to the Kinal Mission. Ryan learned on the way, that this area only saw its first paved road in the early 1980’s. It used to take a lot longer than three hours, so he wasn’t complaining. The scenery was red clay soil lowlands that cropped up in between what looked like a patchwork quilt of swamps and bogs. The missionary who had picked him up in Flores, Jonah, told him that they connected during the rainy season, flooding out roads and making some villages nearly impossible to reach for months. The steady rainfall and low levels made some of them uninhabitable. Jonah also told him the government had invested heavily in ecotourism, making routes to the Mayan archeological sites more accessible, as well as the areas harboring diverse ecosystems. The result was beneficial in that finally some fiscal stability was flowing into the outlying villages. Jonah explained that their major hurdles were still teaching the villagers Spanish, instead of their native Kiche Mayan, as well as establishing a clinic with trained medical practitioners for local health care.

  Ryan couldn’t get the ridiculous grin off of his face, remembering the utter, unflagging determination of his parents to teach all four boys Spanish. Now he would be teaching it, when his own working knowledge wasn’t even as good as Jackie’s who had slaughtered his exam skills when they’d studied together in college. He knew his accent was terrible. But so was his father’s and that never deterred the man from welcoming new parishioners to their church in their native language. His father quickly turned to Spanish whenever he encountered a new immigrant in the grocery store or on line at the movies. It lit up their faces and made him simultaneously embarrassed and proud of his father.

  “Mi hijo, Ryan,” he’d say nudging his son and prompting him to speak. Ryan was good at small talk in Spanish because his father forced it out of him. He did have to admit that the exchanges always made him feel hopeful afterward.

  “Never underestimate the power of kindness,” Cal had told him one day at the movies. He’d just purchased a bucket of popcorn for a family of four and invited them to come to the next Sunday service. His parents never forgot the kindness and warm welcome they were shown as missionaries in Central America. Ryan was proud to be following in their footsteps and hopefully doing something good for the world.

  “Brought your boots, I hope?” Jonah said, elbowing him and knocking him out of his daydream.

  “Waterproof and mid-calf,” Ryan replied. The mission organization took packing and preparedness pretty seriously, so Ryan did, too.

  “The hike from the last bus stop is almost three hours on a good day,” Jonah said. His smile was wide, his green eyes bright and full of energy. “The bugs are on a rampage, so I hope you brought some netting.”

  Holy shit! Ryan thought. They weren’t kidding about boots or the vaccines for Malaria and Yellow Fever. He couldn’t help but think of snakes and other creatures that might be encountered on the hike or how much daylight would be left by the time the bus stopped?

  “I’ve got a gigantic pack full of supplies, so I asked Pedro, this kid who helps out a lot at the mission, to meet us in Kinal and hike back with us to help carry.” Ryan immediately felt guilty about his books and especially his laptop. Even though they’d said it would be off the grid, he wanted to connect whenever he traveled back to town, still keep one foot back home, while he was immersed in his mission.

  It felt like he was starring in the adventure movies he and his brothers had worshipped as kids. Admittedly, Ryan had always wanted to be the hero, he had always wanted to save people. Luckily, Carlos was always more than happy to play the villain.

  His main duty besides teaching Spanish, helping to build houses and facilities, would be training one of the staff nurses in the medial center to do rehab PT, his specialty. From everything he’d read and the presentation he’d seen at church, Ryan knew that many of the patients he’d be treating suffered from ailments that would have been completely treatable had they access to the right resources. Be it a hip replacement, a root canal or delayed development due to malnourishment, many of the patients at the Mission would have been in the clear had they received the proper medical care.

  Pedro, an enthusiastic kid with a shock of thick black hair and no rain boots or mud gear, met them at the bus station that was nothing more than a cinder block lean-to with a bus schedule hand painted on the side, dozens of tiny towns with long names that Ryan didn’t want to attempt to pronounce.

  Ryan hefted on his framed backpack, while Pedro grabbed his suitcase. His legs felt wobbly already and he was glad Jonah had brought Dramamine and insisted he take some. The winding, bumpy road had done a number on his nerves and his stomach.

  “Let’s hurry, the sun will set soon,” Pedro said. Ryan was glad for his slower spoken Spanish, a sign that it was his second language. The landscape was furiously green and the air smelled sweet and clean. Pedro handed them little packs of toasted pumpkin seeds and smiled a crooked grin at Ryan. Excitement and fear mingled in his body like a strange cocktail. He wasn’t sure which was stronger or more intoxicating. He was about to embark on an adventure and he was more than ready for it.

  Chapter 20

  Jackie

  Babies and pets. They had the unique ability to bring smiles to everyone, despite what horrible things one might be dealing with. Pops had finally taken to eating by himself. The last six months were a slow and steady incline toward normalcy.

  “Come on, Lola, smile for Pops,” he said. Jackie laughed.

  “Pops, she’s six months old. She doesn’t really do anything on command yet.”

  “Hogwash, you were walking at nine months. At six, you were only pissed you couldn’t talk well enough for us to understand you.”

  Mack Bowen had taken to Lola immediately. End of the first month, Jackie brought Lola with her to the farm to give Rose a break and hopefully some sleep. She’d been back to work only a couple of months a
nd was perpetually exhausted. Since then, he’d damn near demanded that Lola come once a week to visit. Pops was good with babies, it was around eleven when he seemed to lose his magic. Watching him with Lola made Jackie’s heart swell in her chest. Pops sang whenever they arrived. L-O-L-A Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola. Rose thought it wasn’t a song Lola should know but Pops didn’t much care.

  “So, what should we do today, Lola?” he asked.

  Lola laughed and tugged on his hand. Pops scooped her up and bounced her on his knee, singing about trotting to Boston and falling in the water. Jackie took the opportunity to use the bathroom. She eyed herself in the mirror. For being single and under twenty five, she sure looked rough. When Lola was a month old, she moved in with Rose to help take care of them both. It gave her a break from her father which eased some of the daily tension that loomed between them. Rose was ecstatic at having Jackie in the apartment with her and Jackie got free therapy—whether she wanted it or not. It didn’t hurt that Dr. Coralis stopped by frequently and was nice to look at it. Rose and Dean Coralis were strangely in the midst of a budding romance. Only Rose could find a way to make that happen with an infant at home and an irritating baby daddy one town over.

  Jackie washed her hands and headed to the kitchen to make lunch for her dad and Lola. Lately she’d been trying to figure out what to do with her life. She couldn’t be the friend who helped raise a child forever. She also couldn’t be her father’s caretaker forever. She needed her own life. Without a degree, she felt slightly trapped. And without a booming town to employ her, jobs were scarce and/or scary.

  “So, what’d you apply for this week?” Pops asked, carrying Lola on his hip.

  Jackie turned to face them. “There wasn’t anything to apply for,” she answered.