An Unplanned Life (Unplanned Series)

by Beth Rinyu

  “I left my phone at the bar in the hotel when I went up to my room last night. She must have answered it.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe that?”

  “You can believe it or not. I know it’s the truth and that’s all that matters. Maybe you should call Paul and ask him who Rachel spent the night with. You need to pull it together, Nicole. This hatred that you have for her is making you paranoid.”

  “I'm paranoid! I love it! That bitch answers your phone that you supposedly left at the bar, tells me that she’s basically having sex with you when I was trying to call you about our daughter, and you still defend her. You are unbelievable, Dailan!"

  "I'm not defending her, Nicole. I never defended her, but you've got it in your head that I want to sleep with her and I don't! If you want to know the truth, I could have last night, but I told her I love my wife; something that you're making very difficult to do lately with your attitude."

  "You know what, Dailan, sleep with her then, because I don't really care anymore! If I'm such a bitch that you are finding it hard to love me, then go have an affair!"

  He rolled his eyes and shook his head at me. "What the fuck is your problem anymore, Nicole?"

  "I'm going to tell you what my problem is. I'm sick of feeling like I'm raising Ryan and Ella on my own. Even when you're here, it's like you're not. Your mind is always on that stupid ass case. Which by the way, you failed to mention to me the offer that was made to you."

  His eyes widened. "Yeah, Dailan, I know all about it. Are you really that obsessed with winning that you're willing to sacrifice your family for it?"

  "I don't make deals with scumbags, Nicole."

  "This could have all gone away if you did. You wouldn't be running yourself ragged with work and we wouldn't have to be worrying about him getting custody of Ryan."

  "You're the only one that's worried about that. I know it will never happen."

  "Why couldn’t you have just taken that offer for me?"

  "Because I'm not your dad."

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  "If you had taken their offer years ago, you and I wouldn't be standing here having this conversation right now, would we?"

  "You are such a bastard sometimes, you know that."

  "Truth hurts, doesn't it? If you want to keep letting these people rule your life, then go right ahead, but I will be dammed if I'm going to let him use Ryan to get what he wants."

  "You are the most insensitive person that I know!"

  "Why, Nicole? Just because you don't like what I have to say? I'm sorry if I'm being honest."

  I closed my eyes to try and fight the tears. "I can't deal with this anymore."

  "Yeah, well that makes two us. I'm sick of Ryan asking me why you're so angry at me all of the time. I'm sick of being accused of shit that I'm not doing when I'm just trying to do my job and, most of all, I'm sick of the person that you've become ever since Rachel started working for me." I bit my lip and looked away. "Nicole, I need to leave for a while if we ever want to try and salvage our marriage."

  I felt my jaw drop to my knees. I knew things were bad, but not this bad. "What! What are you saying, Dailan?"

  "I'm saying that I can't continue to give one hundred percent to anything as long as we’re fighting like this. I love you to death, but right now I have to win this case and it has nothing to do with my own selfish needs of wanting always to win. It has to do with never allowing him or that family to walk all over you or Ryan ever again, Nicole. Don't you see I'm doing this all for you?"

  I shook my head. "No, I don't. I don't need you to do this for me. I just want my husband back, the one that I was married to before he took on this case."

  "Well, I'm sorry, but that guy isn’t coming back until this case is over. I took this on and now I have to finish it."

  I had an instant headache. I sat back down on the bed and rubbed my temples as the tears flowed down my face. "Where are you going?" I asked.

  "I'll stay with Tommy." Great, stay with Tommy; one big frat party every day!

  "And Ryan and Ella? You're just going to walk out on them too?"

  "I'm not walking out on anybody, Nicole. I will still see them just as much, and if you need me for anything, just call me."

  "Oh yeah, just like I needed you last night," I said under my breath.

  "Do you see? This is why we need time apart. You can't go five minutes without getting your digs in."

  I looked away. This wasn’t what I wanted by any means. I loved Dailan with all my heart. But I knew how stubborn he could be and I knew that he was not going to sway from this case. “Do what you gotta to do.” Ella began to wake from her nap. Dalian looked at me one last time before going into her room to get her while I buried my face in my hands and let my tears flow freely.

  Chapter 42

  Dailan

  I spent the rest of the afternoon with Ella. Nicole stayed upstairs, except for the few times that she came down to give Ella her medicine. I felt really bad seeing the sadness on her face, but I knew in my heart that this was what we both needed. I still loved her with everything that I had and I wanted it always to remain that way. I didn’t want to be one of those couples that just stayed together for the sake of their kids. What Nicole and I had was special and I didn’t want to lose that and end up with us hating each other forever. I knew that she didn’t understand why I was doing this or why I was so hell bent on taking on this case. I only hoped that once it was all over with that she would understand. I was happy to see Ryan when Nicole’s dad dropped him off and, at the same time, dreaded the news that I had to break to him.

  “We caught a bunch of crabs and cooked them up!” Ryan’s smile was a mile wide.

  “Oh yeah? Did you eat them?”

  “Yup! They were really good too.”

  Nicole came downstairs to get Ella. “Hey, Ryan, did you have fun?” she asked, trying to sound as if nothing was bothering her.

  “Yeah, lots!”

  Ryan’s smile was quickly replaced with worry. “What’s the matter?” he asked Nicole.

  “Umm, nothing. I’m just not feeling too great. I’m going to give Ella a bath if you need me.”

  “Okay,” Ryan answered. I could tell that he wasn’t buying it. The look on his face tore me up inside. “Was she crying?” he asked as he sat down next to me on the couch. I never lied to him and I didn’t intend to start now. I nodded. “Why?”

  I took a deep breath. “Look, Ryan, you know that me and your mom have been arguing a lot, right?”

  He nodded.

  “Well –”

  He cut me off before I could even finish. His bottom lip dropped and his eyes filled up with tears. “Are you guys getting divorced?” he asked as the tears rolled down his face.

  “No, no, no!” I tried my best to reassure him that was not happening, but I could still see doubt in his eyes. “I need to completely focus on this case right now; it’s really important. So that means I will be spending a lot of extra time at work and your mom gets upset when I do that because she wants me spending time with you guys. So, I’m going to stay with Tommy just until this is all over.”

  Ryan gasped. “No! I don’t want you to leave! What if she promises not to get mad at you anymore, then will you stay?” The tears were streaming down his face.

  “Ryan, listen to me, buddy. I will still see you all the time. I will spend all my free time with you and Ella, I promise. I’m just fighting with your mom all the time over this and it’s not good for any of us.”

  “I don’t care; it doesn’t bother me if you guys fight. Just please, don’t leave!”

  “Ryan, it won’t be for long, I promise. And then things will be so much better for all of us.”

  He shook his head and tried to catch his breath between his sobs. “I love you and I love her. Why can’t you just stay?” I pulled him closer and kissed him on the head. I waited until he calmed down a little. “Hey, do you want to watch that horror movie
that we watched the previews for the other night?”

  “My mom said I can’t watch it,” he said sadly.

  “Well, I say you can. But only if I see a smile first.”

  He did his best to form something that resembled a smile. I messed up his hair and found the movie on-demand. About a half hour in, I looked over at him and he was fast asleep. He was such an awesome kid, I hated that this asshole had to come out of nowhere to use him for his own personal gain. I lifted him up and carried him up the stairs, realizing for the first time just how big he was getting. He sat up, half asleep, and I helped him put on his pajamas.

  “Good night, Ryan.”

  “Night,” he replied in a groggy voice.

  I went into Ella’s room and kissed her on the head as she slept. “I love you, baby girl,” I whispered. I took a deep breath before heading into the bedroom to get my things. Nicole was on her laptop. She didn’t even look up when I walked in. I started to throw my stuff into my bag and turned around when I heard her close her laptop and begin to speak. “Two years.”

  “What?”

  “We lasted for two years.”

  “Nicole, stop talking like that; we’re not getting divorced.”

  “Then why are you leaving?”

  “I told you why.”

  “But that’s not what we agreed to.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Two years ago, we promised that no matter how hard it got, we would work it out.”

  “And I am trying to work it out, Nicole.”

  “How? By running away?”

  “I’m not running away. I’m doing this to make things better for us.”

  “Are you? Or are you doing this so you can figure out exactly what it is that you want?”

  I sat down on the bed next to her. “I know what I want. I want you, Nicole. I want us the way it used to be. I look at Paul from work. He and his wife hate each other; he’s fucking other women every chance he can get. I don’t want that to be us ten years from now. I know you don’t understand why I’m doing this and that’s okay. But I promise you things will be better once this is all over.” I went to kiss her on the cheek and she backed away.

  “I don’t see how it’s going to get any better. All it’s going to do is make me resent you more and more.”

  There was no getting through to her. “Well, I guess we’ll have to take that chance. Because nothing that you do or say is going to make me back down on this case and as long as I’m working on it, I cannot be living in this house.”

  “Yeah, how convenient. Leave your wife and have all the time you want now with your slutty assistant.”

  I stood up and shook my head. She just was never going to let up with this Rachel thing and it was seriously pissing me off. “If I’m gonna keep getting accused of shit, then maybe I should just do it. At least your relentless digs would then be justified.” I quickly threw the rest of my things in my bag. “There’s just no talking to you, Nicole.” She bit her lip and looked away. I walked down the steps and headed out the door with a heaviness in my chest. That was not the same girl that I had married. She had changed so much in such a short time. I knew that a lot of it had to do with all of these old ghosts from her past. But why couldn’t she see that I was her present? I loved her so much and I hated to see her feeling this way, but there was nothing that I could to do fix the situation and chase away those ghosts for her permanently until this case was over.

  Chapter 43

  Nicole

  I crawled into bed and tried my best to fall asleep. I was scared of what was happening. I couldn’t believe that he had left. I didn’t want to be alone. I tossed and turned and finally gave up after about twenty minutes. I walked into Ella’s room to check on her. I ran my hand over her forehead. Thankfully, she was nice and cool.

  I sneaked into Ryan’s room and picked up his blanket, which had fallen on the floor, and covered him back up. I bent down and kissed him softly on the cheek. I was just about to walk out of his room when he spoke.

  “Do you hate my Uncle D?” Ryan asked.

  I turned around and sat down on his bed. “No, Ryan, I don’t. I love him very much.”

  “Then why did he leave? Why are you guys always so mad at each other all of time?”

  “Because adults act silly sometimes, but I still love him very much. He just needs time to concentrate on work right now.” I couldn’t believe that I was justifying Dailan’s actions, when I didn’t even understand them myself.

  “And then everything will be back to normal?” he asked. I closed my eyes and nodded. I took his hand and kissed it. “Do you love me as much as you love Ella?” he asked, taking me totally by surprise.

  “Of course I do! Ryan, why would you even ask such a thing?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just that you’ve known Ella her whole life.”

  I lay down next to him and pulled him closer. “Ryan, I have known you your whole life too.”

  “How?”

  “You lived inside my heart from the day you were born. I thought about you every day, wondered what you were doing, and what you looked like.”

  “You did?” I could see a smile appear on his face, even though the darkness.

  I nodded. “Ryan, I was really young when I had you. I wanted to keep you more than anything, but I knew that wouldn’t have been fair to you. You deserved the best life ever and I knew that your mommy and daddy in Heaven could give that to you. But you and me - we went through a lot together.”

  “We did? How?”

  “Well, when you were in my belly, you helped get me through some really hard times. You would give me a good hard kick every time I needed cheering up.”

  “I did?” He giggled.

  “Yup, you did.”

  “Do you remember the day that I was born?”

  “Like it was yesterday. And I truly believe that your mommy in Heaven is an angel who led me to you.”

  “And if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have met my Uncle D.”

  “Nope, I wouldn’t have. I loved you from the very first day that you were born, Ryan O’Maley, and I have loved you every day since.” I kissed him on the forehead and whispered in his ear, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living –”

  “My baby you’ll be,” Ryan chimed in, much to my surprise.

  “How do you know how that goes, Ryan?”

  “My other mom used to read that book to me all of the time.”

  “She did?” He nodded. I smiled and hugged him tightly. Yes, his mother in Heaven was definitely an angel; one for which I would be eternally grateful.

  Chapter 44

  Nicole

  The past…

  “Push, Nicole! Close your eyes and push as hard as you can, baby,” Tisha said.

  I leaned forward as Tisha held my hand and braced my elbow with her other hand. I was crying from the extreme pain. I just wanted to die, it hurt so bad.

  “Come on and breathe, Nicole. Just one more push and this baby will be born,” my doctor said.

  I closed my eyes and pushed with everything I had. Tears immediately began to roll down my face as I heard my baby’s cries for the first time. I wanted to hold him so badly. My body was yearning for him. I needed to hold him. I watched as the nurse took his vitals and cleaned him off, trying my best to catch a tiny glimpse of him. My heart sank as I watched her walk out of the room with him. “No,” I whispered.

  Tisha rubbed my back. “It’s okay, Nicole. Everything is going to be okay.” She hugged me tightly. I was sobbing and my entire body was shivering. I had never felt so empty and alone as I did at that particular moment. A piece of my heart was ripped from my body and taken away. I knew from that moment exactly what my mother had meant when she said that I hadn’t faced the hardest part yet. I felt like I wanted to curl up and die.

  “I-I don’t know if I can do this, Tisha”

  “It’s up to you, baby girl. But I’m telling y
ou right now, if you hold that little boy, be prepared to raise him because you’re not going to be able to give him up.”

  I had so many thoughts racing through my mind. It would be hard, but I knew that I could do it if I really wanted to. My mother said that she would help me. I could put college on hold and get a full time job. I wanted to feel his skin, smell his baby scent, and kiss him for the very first time. I wanted him to know that I was his mother. I was the voice that he had been hearing for the past nine months. I was the one that went through hell and back for him.

  “Do you want me to tell them to bring him in?” Tisha asked.

  I took a deep breath, contemplating my decision. I closed my eyes to try and fight another round of tears. “Tisha, could you hand me my bag, please.”

  She looked at me strangely and grabbed my bag off the table. I opened it up and took Ralphie out. “Can you give this to his mother? Ask her if she could please find it in her heart to let him have this so he will always have a little piece of me?”

  Tisha looked at me sadly. “I sure will, baby girl.”

  I had made my decision and even though it hurt like hell, I knew that my baby was going to have the best life possible. I loved that faceless little boy more than I had ever loved anything in my entire life and because of that - I knew I had to let him go.

  I was so out of it when my mother finally arrived. I lay there with my eyes closed. They had given me something in my IV to calm my nerves. “I think she’s finally asleep,” Tisha said.

  “She went so quickly. I was stuck in traffic, two hours away. I wanted to be here for her,” my mother said. “Was she okay, when they took the baby?”

  “She had a little bit of a hard time with it, but she did it. We have her all set up for counseling too, once she gets out. It will help her a lot.” I could hear my mother sit down in the chair next to me. “Your daughter proved what a very strong woman she is today,” Tisha said.

  “She is,” my mother said.

  “Well, I’m going to get going, now that you’re here. Tell Nicole I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”