by Beth Rinyu
“Well, that was a lot better than my dinner last night,” Dailan joked, once we were done eating.
“Why? What did you have last night?”
“Ryan wanted to go to Circus Burger.”
I giggled, knowing how much Dailan hated that place. “Really, and you didn’t try and talk him out of it?”
“Nah, I sucked it up for him.” I smiled and shook my head. “So, did you want to go to the movies?” Dailan asked.
“The movies?” I asked, a little surprised with that suggestion. We hadn’t gone to the movies in ages.
“Yeah. This is what you’re supposed to do on a date, isn’t it?”
“Oh, is that what this is – a date?” I laughed.
He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, like when we first met.”
“Well, if that’s the case, then you need to be much more obnoxious and I don’t seem to remember you asking me to go anywhere. You stormed into my classroom and basically told me that I was going.”
“Oh, okay, well, in that case…” He hurried up, signed the credit card receipt, and stood up, taking my hand and leading me out the door. He opened the car door for me and stopped me just as I was about to get in. He took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply.
“Forget the movies. Let’s go home,” I said, looking up at him.
Luckily, the restaurant was only five minutes from our house because if I had to wait a second longer, I was going to start ripping his clothes off in the car. I cursed under my breath when the key stuck in the front door. I jiggled it around and flung the door open. Dailan kicked the door shut and wasted no time lifting my shirt over my head. I followed suit, taking off his shirt and kissing every inch of his beautiful bare chest. I moved my hand down his pants. A jolt of energy went through me when I felt how hard he was for me. “Let’s go upstairs and take care of that,” I teased.
“No, let’s do it here.” We moved over to the steps and sat down. He removed my bra, slowly teasing my nipples with this tongue. “I’ve never wanted to fuck you as much as I want to right now,” he whispered in my ear and kissed my neck.
“Then do it.” My body was screaming for him.
He lifted his head from my neck and smiled. “Oh, no, no, no. I want you to beg for it.”
“Maybe you’ll be the one begging for it tonight,” I joked.
“Oh, yeah; go for it!”
“Well, if you want me to take charge, then I say we go up in the bedroom.”
“Whatever you say.” He raised his hands in defeat and stood up, taking my hand, just as his phone began to ring from the kitchen.
He started to lead me up the stairs. “Aren’t you going to see who that is?” I asked.
“No, I’m all yours tonight, remember?” he said as he kissed me on the lips.
“What if it’s your dad? What if something happened to Ryan or Ella?”
He looked at this watch. “It’s after nine. Ella is asleep, and Ryan is a half hour away from being there. It’s not my dad.” It finally stopped ringing and we started heading back up the stairs.
“Dailan, will you please just see who that is?” I asked when his phone began to ring again.
He sighed heavily and went into the kitchen to grab his phone. “No clue,” he said as he looked at the caller ID.
“Well, answer it. What if it’s the hospital?”
“What!?”
“You never know. Ryan or Ella could be hurt. My cell phone never works in the hospital; maybe it’s your dad, trying to get in touch with you.”
“Now you’re just being crazy.”
He put it on speakerphone. “Yeah,” he answered, sounding annoyed.
“O’Maley, still not willing to settle? Well, it looks like my son will be spending a lot more time with his real family.” I froze. I knew that voice on the other end all too well. Dailan quickly took it off speakerphone upon seeing the look on my face.
“You fuckin’ douche bag. Don’t you ever call me up and threaten me.” The fury in Dailan’s voice made me shudder. I never heard him sound so angry before. He hung up the phone and gazed into my tear-filled eyes. Suddenly, the fire that had been burning inside of each of us just moments ago was quickly extinguished by that phone call.
I sat down on the step and ran my hand through my hair. “How could he be so heartless? He doesn’t want anything to do with Ryan and he’s ready to screw with his head just so he can gain something from it.”
Dailan sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Nicole, I know that you’re worried about this. But please don’t be.” He tilted my chin up so I was looking directly into his eyes. “I love Ryan with all my heart. That kid is like my son. Do you think that I would ever risk letting them get their hands on him? I promised you I would never let that happen and I always keep my promises. I get where you’re coming from and I understand how much all of these people have hurt you and I’m trying to put an end to it permanently, instead of just putting a band aid over it. Will you please just allow me to do that and have faith in me?”
Dailan had finally admitted that he empathized with me instead of just rolling his eyes and acting as if I were ridiculous and that meant more than anything in the world to me. I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. “I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too.” I stood up and took his hand. We walked upstairs to the bedroom and made love. It wasn’t the same kind of rip-your-clothes-off sex that we had intended before that phone call. It was the tender, gentle, love making that Dailan was so good at, to help put my mind at ease. I closed my eyes and hugged him tightly. I missed him so much and I didn’t ever want to feel the pain of absence again. Something had clicked tonight that made me finally understand that his intentions were good with this case and if it meant that I would have to sacrifice him for a little longer so he could win it, I was willing to do so. Dailan was fighting a battle for me and Ryan that no one was willing to fight ten years ago and I loved him more than anything for doing so.
Chapter 56
Nicole
The past…
Graduation day was finally here. My parents quickly took a seat, disappearing into the swarms of people. Part of me wondered if they even wanted to be there. Justin hung around, socializing with everyone. I got a sick feeling in my stomach when I saw Jonathan and his parents taking a seat next to Rachel’s mother and father. I couldn’t contain my smile when I saw Tisha walking onto the football field. I ran up to her and gave her a huge hug. "You came!"
"Well of course, I came, baby girl. I told you that I would." Having Tisha here meant more to me than anything. I immediately felt myself calming down about my speech. "Are you all ready with that big speech?" Tisha smiled.
I nodded. "I think so. I just hope I don't throw up in the middle of it from my nerves."
"You will be fine, Nicole. You have proven how strong you are. This is nothing, girl."
"Thanks." I gave her one last hug before she headed off to grab a seat.
We lined up in alphabetical order to take the long walk down the football field. My nerves were really getting the best of me now as “Pomp and Circumstance” played over the PA system. I felt like I couldn't take my seat quickly enough. I could feel my heart beating as Mrs. Porter, the principal, began to speak. My palms were sweating and I couldn't stop shaking my leg up and down.
"Next, I would like to introduce a student who has excelled academically even during the most difficult of times. She has exemplified the meaning of courage and strength, and I for one am so very proud of her. She is the recipient of the outstanding senior scholarship and will be pursuing a degree in elementary education in the fall. It gives me great pleasure to introduce Nicole Morgan.”
The crowd began to applaud as I walked down the football field on shaking legs. I took a deep breath as I climbed up the stairs to the stage. Mrs. Porter gave me a hug before taking a seat by the podium. I looked out into the huge crowd, feeling so small. I scoured the crowd for the people that ma
ttered most to me: Donna, Justin, and Tisha. I remained focused on them and took a deep breath. You can do this, you can do this, I repeated over and over. I pushed my hair behind my ear, moved closer to the microphone, and finally found my voice.
"I don’t know where to begin. To say that my life has changed drastically in this past year is an understatement. When I ended my junior year, I was the captain of the cheerleading team, friends with everyone, and my biggest problem was which outfit to wear to school each day. When I entered as a senior, I was a totally different girl. For those of you who don't know who I am, I'm ‘the girl.’ The one that you may have heard your son or daughter talking about. The girl that got pregnant at seventeen years old.” I paused for a moment to regain my composure, after hearing the hushed whispers from the crowd. I swallowed hard and continued. “No, I'm not the horrible names that some people chose to call me. I am far from it. I made a mistake. I let someone else think for me. I could have taken the easy way out, but I chose not to. I said goodbye to my baby twenty-two days and seven hours ago. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do in my life.” My voiced wavered with emotion as I fought with everything I had not to cry. “But I realize now how much this has prepared me for my future and what lies ahead for me. At first, I thought the constant taunting of certain people, or being called some not-so-nice names was the hardest thing I would ever endure. But that paled in comparison to the day that the little boy who grew inside of me for nine months was taken from my life just as quickly as he came. I never got to hold him or touch him. I never got to see his face. He had a family waiting for him. A family that would be able to offer him everything that I couldn't. I know that no matter what happens in the future, nothing will be as painful as the day that I said goodbye to him. I have become a stronger person because of him. So if I could offer one bit of advice to my fellow classmates it would be, don't be afraid to stand up for what you want. No matter how scared or alone you may feel. If you know in your heart that you are doing the right thing, don't ever back down. My baby was born for a reason. I may never know why. Maybe it was just to help to define my own strength and character, but I know that I endured all the pain and heartache for something. I've grown so much emotionally. I realize now that being popular, dating the cutest guys in school, or having the nicest clothes isn't what matters in life. I have learned a lot about people as well, and who will be there for you when you need them the most. So, I would like to thank the three people who have stood by my side, no matter what. My brother Justin, my best friend Donna, and my new friend that I would have never known if it weren't for my ‘mistake,’ Tisha Jones. I truly don't think I would have survived these past nine months without her- she is the woman I strive to become one day." I looked at Tisha and watched as she wiped the tears from her eyes. I took a deep breath, wiped away the lone teardrop rolling down my face, and exited the stage to the sound of the resounding ovation coming from the crowd.
My parents were hanging around after the ceremony ended, looking like they were out of place. “Hey, umm, I’ll just get a ride home with Donna and her mom. You guys can cut out.”
“Are you sure, Nicole?” my mother asked. My father didn’t ask twice; he was already halfway to the car.
“Yup,” I answered, trying to sound as if I wasn’t bothered.
“Well, congratulations. I’m so proud of you,” my mother said as she hugged me tightly, before walking off to the car as well.
I looked around at the other kids with their parents, taking pictures. They were all smiling, happy, and proud of their children. I was nothing but a letdown to mine.
“You made my mascara run with that speech, Nicole,” Tisha said, finally making her way through the crowd.
“I’m sorry.” I smiled.
“Don’t be. That was really beautiful. Funny thing, though.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“I was just thinking; I’m so proud of you. I want to be you when I grow up.” We both began to laugh. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. “Aren’t you having a party for your graduation, Nicole?”
“Oh, no.”
“You’re not doing anything special to celebrate?”
“Nope, I’m just glad that I am actually holding this in my hot little hands,” I said as I held up my diploma.
“Well, I want to take you out to dinner. You worked hard for that and we need to celebrate.”
“Thanks, Tisha! But would you mind if I use the ladies’ room really quick before we go.”
“Not at all. I’ll be waiting right here.”
I walked into the school and used the bathroom. I looked into the mirror as I washed my hands and smiled. You did it, Nicole. You graduated. My stomach instantly began to churn and I gasped when I walked out of the bathroom and saw Jonathan standing on the other side of the door, almost as if he were waiting for me.
“Hey, Nicole, you um… look really great.” I shook my head and started to walk away. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “Look, I’m really sorry for everything, and now that it’s all over, I thought that maybe I could take you out, sometime. I’m home for the summer.”
I could feel my eyes widening in disbelief. You will not cry in front of him, Nicole. You are stronger than that. “You are unbelievable, you know that? It will never be over for me; because what you call ‘it’ was our baby that grew inside of me for nine months. I felt every move that he made, I heard his heartbeat, listened to his first cry, and then I just gave him away. Something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. So no, it will never be over for me, Jonathan.” He looked away. I wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed by my words or if he was finally feeling a little remorse for the way that he had acted.
“Nicole, I didn’t know what to do. I –”
“Yeah, well, that made two of us, because neither did I. But I did what I had to do for my child and I don’t care if I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life, as long as I know that he’s being loved. That’s all that matters. I was the one that was called a whore. I am the one who has basically been disowned by my family and had to put up with your little girlfriend’s constant torment all year long. When you knew all along that he was yours and that you were my one and only. But you still led everyone to believe otherwise, just to save yourself. Maybe one day you will be faced with something as hard as that. I just hope that you can be more of a man when that time comes than you are now.”
He bit his lip and looked away before finally locking eyes with me once again. “Nicole, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a little too late for that now, Jonathan.”
I had my head down as I started to walk away. I looked up to find both Jonathan’s mother’s and Rachel’s eyes glaring at me.
“Jonathan, what’s going on? What are you apologizing to her for?” his mother asked.
I didn’t wait to see how he answered. I didn’t want to know - I didn’t really care. I walked away and held my head up high for the first time in a very long time.
Chapter 57
Nicole
I awoke the next morning to Dailan’s lips on my forehead. He had just gotten out of the shower and had nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. I opened my eyes and smiled at the sight of him. “Good morning,” I said.
“Hey, go back to sleep. You just looked so cute sleeping that I couldn’t resist kissing you.”
I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck. “What time do you have to be at work?” I asked. He looked over at the clock. “Forty-five minutes.”
I smiled. “Well, we can do a lot in that little bit of time.”
He smiled back and pushed me down on the bed. “Wait, wait, wait!” I said as jumped out of bed.
“What’s the matter?”
I covered my mouth with my hand. “Morning breath,” I said. He laughed and shook his head. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I walked out and lifted my nightshirt over my head. “Okay, now where were we?”
>
“I believe we were right here.” He pulled me down on the bed and hovered over top of me, trailing kisses down my neck to my breasts. I began to giggle from the touch of his tickling lips.
“You are so fuckin’ beautiful, you know that?” he whispered as his lips grazed my ear. My insides began to tingle. It amazed me how he still had this effect on me.
“And you are so fuckin’ handsome,” I giggled, mocking him in my best Irish accent.
He tickled me and I began to laugh harder. “Are you making fun of me?”
I tried to catch my breath to speak. “Yup, I am. What are you going to do about it?”
“Don’t tempt me.” He smiled and quickly removed my underwear. He slipped his finger inside of me and the look on his face became more serious. He kissed me hard while his fingers continued their pleasurable assault on my body. Everything inside of me was yearning for him. It was partly due to his actions and partly due to the look of longing in his eyes. I gently pushed him off me, taking him a little off guard. “What are you doing?” he asked.
I placed my fingers over his lips, signaling for him to be quiet. I grabbed a ponytail holder off my nightstand and pulled my hair back. He smiled, knowing exactly what he was in for. My fingernail tickled the hair on his thigh while my tongue circled his nipple. My fingers slowly swept across his erection. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I lightly grazed his ear with my teeth. “Are you ready for this, Mr. O’Maley?” I whispered in his ear.
“Fuck, yeah,” he responded.
I trailed kisses down his stomach and took him in my mouth. I heard a deep moan escape his throat. I looked up at him and smiled. “Are you liking this?”
