Hypocritically Yours: A Standalone Age-Gap Romance

by Hayley Faiman

  My divorce won’t be final for another forty-five days. I’m not sure if I can wait that long. I’m not sure if I can be around her day in and day out, knowing she’s attracted to me the way that I am her and not touch, lick, taste her.

  Fucking shit.

  TENNESSEE

  Dear Diary,

  I tried to be good.

  I failed.

  Tenny.

  Without a second thought. Throwing all caution to the wind, ignoring my own words from just moments ago, along with my apparent morals and values, I lift my hands and grip his shirt with my fingers.

  Tugging him close, I let out a whimper as I press my chest against his. I ache, everywhere. Every single part of me. Landry growls, his beard rubbing against my face, his strong arms wrapping around my back as he pulls me closer against his chest and deepens the kiss.

  Slowly, he breaks the kiss. My breath hitches. I no longer feel the tickle in my throat. I no longer feel anything except excitement and adrenaline. It flows through my veins.

  This is wrong.

  I just said that it was moments ago.

  This feels so right.

  “Landry,” I whisper.

  He hums, pressing his forehead against mine as we both pant in an attempt to catch our breaths. Tipping my head back, I look up into his eyes with a sigh. Those amber orbs watch me, everything about him unreadable.

  “I’ll respect your wishes, Tennessee, but I want you to know that what I want, it isn’t going to be a fling. It’s real. I like you and I’d really like to get to know you better.”

  “How?” I ask. “I have a baby. I’m not going to leave him with a sitter and go out on dates. You’re used to your freedom, but that’s not where I am in my life right now.”

  Landry chuckles. It’s soft, gentle, and warm, just like him. He isn’t making fun of me, laughing at me. It’s something totally different.

  “I know, Tennessee. Holden is your life, he’s your priority, and I’m all in on that.”

  “How? You barely know us,” I ask.

  He smiles, shaking his head. “I know all I need to know, honey.”

  “But—”

  I don’t get any other words out. Instead, he tilts his head to the side and shuts up my questions with a kiss. His tongue does another swift move through my mouth before he lifts his head slightly.

  “I know all I need to know,” he repeats.

  Then his hands slide from my back to my waist and grab hold of my ass with a rough squeeze. I let out a gasp, shifting my hands to his shoulders, squeezing them as my lips part in awe. He grins, then before I realize what’s happening, he picks me up.

  I cry out in surprise as Landry turns us and starts to walk down a hallway. I don’t ask where he’s taking me, a little afraid to have this spell broken. He turns us into a room, and then I feel it.

  There’s a bed against my calves as he releases me, my body sliding down the entire length of his before my feet hit the floor.

  “Landry?” I ask.

  He shakes his head once. “Just a taste,” he rasps. “That’s all. If you say no, I’ll stop.”

  “Please,” I beg.

  It’s shameless, but I have wanted nothing more than to have any part of him touch every single part of me.

  “Please what, Tennessee?”

  I rise to my toes, my entire body trembling as I touch my lips to his. “Please taste me,” I beg, my blood heating with embarrassment beneath my skin.

  He growls. It’s low, coming from deep within him. Then, before I can do or say another word, he wraps his fingers around my hips, pushing me back so that I’m forced to bend my knees and sit down on the bed.

  I try not to think about how this comforter and mattress are the most fluffy things I’ve ever sat on, but I fail. My hands push down against the bedding and I practically moan at the soft feel of the fabric beneath my touch.

  Reaching forward, my entire body shaking, I try to grab hold of Landry’s pants. He’s too quick though. He wraps his hands around my wrist and before I can utter a single word, he’s on me. The entire length of his body surges forward.

  My arms are forced above my head, his fingers gripping my wrist with just one of his hands, the other fists my skirt at my thigh. His face is so close, his eyes deepening in color right before my own.

  Then his mouth, my eyes flick down to his lips and I watch as they curve up in an almost wicked grin. I expect him to lean into me, kiss my mouth again, but he doesn’t. Instead, his lips touch just beneath my jaw, then move down the column of my neck.

  Throwing my head back, I open myself to him. His mouth skates down my throat, tasting, licking, sucking me on his descent. I gasp when his hand leaves my wrist and fists on the other side of my skirt.

  With zero hesitation, with zero fanfare, my skirt is wrenched up my thighs as he slides down my body. His fingers find my panties, my entire body is a trembling, shaking, quaking mess at the moment. Then, he guides those panties, the only barrier between my body and his face, down my legs and tosses them aside.

  “Landry,” I say, pinching my eyes closed.

  Nobody has seen me like this, not since before Holden was born. Not since before that party. I’m not the same. I have stretch marks and cellulite. I have a saggy belly and boobs. But beyond all that, what if I’m not the same, down there? What if it’s not going to be good for him? Oh my God, I was not prepared for any of this.

  “Fucking gorgeous,” he growls right before he leans forward.

  Then his mouth is right there.

  Right.

  There.

  And all those thoughts and worries that I had? They melt away, because what Landry does with his tongue is magical. I’ve never, not ever felt anything quite like this before and it is cosmic. It is out of this fucking world.

  I haven’t even come yet and I already want more.

  Arching my back, I shift myself closer to his face. Feeling his beard against my thighs, the way he consumes me, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. His tongue flicks my clit, over and over. I let out a cry, unable to control my volume and the way my hips move, as I ride his face.

  His fingers grip my ass, pulling me closer to him as a growl escapes his mouth. I’m close. I can feel it, each flick of his tongue, each suck from his lips, each time he laps at me. I’m on edge, teetering, standing at the side of that cliff and I am ready to jump, so damn ready.

  Then I do.

  Pinching my eyes closed, I let out a scream. It fills the room, it echoes off of the walls as my entire body trembles. Landry doesn’t stop, not until my entire body is completely relaxed. Only then does he lift his head from between my legs.

  His lips turn up into a big grin. “Yeah, honey. I know all I need to know.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  LANDRY

  Lying in bed, the same bed where just hours ago, I stripped Tennessee down and tasted her. I can’t help but smile at the memory. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t something that I’d even thought could possibly happen, it all just—unfolded.

  My kids coming to the office, basically thinking that I was on my deathbed, then in not so many words telling me to back the fuck off. When I opened my office door and she was there, sitting behind her desk, something just punched me in the gut.

  It wasn’t regret, but it was a sense of impending regret. I knew immediately, if I didn’t do something, if I didn’t make a move, that I would regret it for the rest of my life. I took a moment, went back inside of my office and closed my eyes.

  Taking in a calming breath, I inhaled and exhaled deeply before I yanked open my office door. I turned to Julie, gave her the afternoon off and went in search of Tennessee.

  I found her, her back to me, her skirt hugging her hips expertly. Her high heels, another brightly colored shoe that did not go with what I knew of her personality. She was perfect for me, she was like a dream.

  Bringing her up to the penthouse was bold, it was too soon and I knew it before I even suggested
it. However, I had to make a move, show my cards, and the need for more was too fucking strong.

  Sitting up, I throw my legs over the side of the bed and put on my workout clothes. I can’t lie around here awake all night. I need to get some pent-up energy out. My balls are blue as fuck. After I ate her, Tennessee tried to reciprocate, but I didn’t let her. I couldn’t. That was for her and only her. I’ll get mine soon enough.

  Once I’m dressed to work out, I grab a bag and throw some street clothes inside. Thankfully, it’s Saturday and I don’t have to put on a suit. I don’t know what I’m going to do the rest of the day. I need to get some furniture for the new house, but I’ll probably just hire an interior decorator to do everything for me.

  I’m distracted as I leave the office and head toward my car in the parking garage. There’s a flash of headlights in the distance, but I don’t pay them any mind. Nobody should be down here, but I know sometimes people come in early on the weekends to either catch up or get ahead, so I ignore it.

  Making my way to the gym, I spend the morning running before I lift weights. I exhaust myself, hoping that the need to be inside of Tennessee, immediately, will dissipate.

  It doesn’t.

  I spend the entire run, the entire time I lift weights, thinking about how she smells, how soft her skin is, the way her lips and mouth feel against my own, and then I spend an almost unhealthy amount of time thinking about her taste as she came on my tongue.

  Showering, I dress in the jeans and polo that I brought with me before heading back to my car. Tossing my duffel bag in the trunk, I let out a sigh as my stomach grumbles. Closing the trunk, I glance down at my watch, then grunt at the time.

  It’s already eight in the morning and I’ve burned more calories than I usually would at this point without food. I need to fucking eat. A thought crosses my mind. Clearing my throat, my lips curve up into a grin as I jog toward the driver’s side of the car.

  Slipping inside, I start the engine and ease out into traffic. There’s only one place I want to get breakfast from and that’s Café Brazil. I also think that there’s a woman and a little boy who might want it as well.

  It doesn’t take me long to get to the café. The line is long, but I’ve already called ahead and put in my order for pickup. Jogging past the people waiting to get their tables, I make my way straight up to the hostess counter.

  “Name please?” she asks.

  Shaking my head once, I clear my throat. “I called in an order for pickup, Landry,” I explain.

  She looks down at her iPad, then sinks her teeth into her bottom lip before she lifts her gaze up to meet my own. She releases her lip before she clears her throat. “It won’t be ready for another ten minutes,” she says.

  Taking my phone out of my pocket, I tell her that I’m going to wait right outside. Finding my attorney’s name, I press call.

  “Landry,” Bash answers the phone.

  “Can I expedite this thing with Susan?” I almost demand.

  He’s silent for a moment. “Your mediation is Monday. You’re going as quickly as possible. It won’t be final until the sixty-first day. There is nothing I can do. Are you getting married again? Because honestly, that’s the only time I’ve seen people argue to have the process sped up. It still doesn’t happen, Landry.”

  “I’m not,” I grumble.

  I haven’t even slept with Tennessee, but something tells me that she would feel massive guilt if we did more than what happened yesterday in my penthouse.

  “I just want it done. If I know Susan, I know that without a doubt her demands are going to increase as we get closer. She’ll try to get everything she possibly can out of me. I just don’t want this drug out.”

  Bash clears his throat. “I understand, but this is just something you’re going to have to get through. And my advice stands, don’t mix yourself up with anyone until day sixty-one.”

  Thanking him, I end the call just as the hostess appears with two bags in her hands. “Landry?” she asks.

  Smiling, I reach for the handles. “Thank you,” I offer.

  Turning away, I make my way toward the car. I did something wrong, and I should feel bad about it, but I don’t. Tennessee wanted to wait to possibly start anything until the divorce is final, but I don’t think that I can do that.

  I can’t not touch her. I’ve tasted her and she’s addictive. She’s sweet and soft. Kind and gentle. I need her in my life and in my bed.

  There’s something about her, something that I can’t ignore. Something that I don’t want to distance myself from. It’s her, just her, and I know that I should heed her wishes, but I just fucking can’t.

  Finding a parking spot on her street, I gather the bags of food and close the door. Jogging toward the front door of her building, I look around. It’s a decent neighborhood, not the best. It has a locked main entrance, so that’s safe. But when the man in front of me holds the door open for me, I let out a noise.

  Maybe it’s not quite as safe as it appears? Maybe I’m just being really fucking overprotective. Climbing the stairs, I make my way toward her floor, then I step in front of her door. Clearing my throat, I knock on the door.

  It doesn’t take long, only a few moments when it opens. Nobody stands across from me, that is until I tip my head down. Holden is standing there, still in his pajamas. I blink down at him, then lift my head to see if I can find Tennessee behind him, but she’s not there.

  “Holden, where’s your mama?” I ask.

  He tips his little head back, his big green eyes finding mine. “Mama sick.”

  TENNESSEE

  I hear Holden’s voice and tell him that I’ll be there in a minute. That is, if I can get out of bed. I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. My head is killing me. It’s not a sore throat and runny nose like I thought it may possibly be yesterday. It’s not a cold coming on. No, I have a migraine. A debilitating migraine.

  I close my eyes for just a moment and I’m awoken by a voice. A deep voice. A man’s voice. My entire body freezes in panic for just a moment. My eyes open and I sit straight up with a whimper.

  Holden says something that I can’t make out, and I let out a sigh of relief that he’s in there. But then that man’s voice rings again and adrenaline flows through me. Standing up, I push the crippling migraine to the side and force my body to move.

  I’m only wearing a pair of panties and a tank top, but it doesn’t matter. Nobody is supposed to be here and I’m terrified that something bad is going to happen to Holden.

  When I walk past my bedroom door, I freeze at the sight in front of me. It’s Landry, sitting at my small dining room table, Holden right next to him. My gaze flicks to Holden, he’s got pancakes in front of him. Then my eyes shift back to Landry’s.

  He’s no longer sitting, instead, he hurries toward me, and just as he reaches me, my knees give out. He doesn’t hesitate even a moment. Instead, he carries me to my bedroom and puts me back in bed.

  “What’s wrong. Holden said you were sick? I was feeding him, then getting ready to come in and check on you.”

  I whimper, my eyes blinking a couple of times as my stomach rolls. “Migraine,” I breathe.

  He hums, standing and walking away from me. He isn’t gone long, only a few moments when he appears again. He’s got a small kitchen towel with something wrapped up inside of it, and a glass of water.

  “Landry?” I whisper.

  “Ice, put it where it hurts, but only for a few minutes at a time. All you had was some Tylenol, so here’s three. Drink all of the water. I’m going to bring you some food in a minute.”

  “No food,” I moan.

  I feel his hand move, his fingers tuck my hair behind my ear. “Yes, food, Tennessee. It will help, trust me.”

  Pressing my lips together, I try to shake my head, but end up whimpering at the first shift. He hums, then stands from the bed. Just a few moments later he’s back, he sinks down next to me and the smell of sweet pancakes fills my nos
e.

  “I didn’t know what you’d like, so I ordered a little bit of everything. I don’t think the cream-filled crepes will settle well. This is just a pancake, plain, no syrup,” he explains in a hushed tone.

  “Thank you,” I breathe as I take the pancake from his hand. He doesn’t move right away, watching me eat something, then swallow the pills.

  Immediately, guilt washes over me. I don’t know how he ended up here. I don’t know why he showed up, but I know it wasn’t to take care of me and Holden. I try to lift my arm, to grab hold of him, but my body just won’t do what I want.

  Landry stands, he’s so neat and put together even in his jeans and polo. His beard is tidy, his hair combed. His amber eyes look over me, concern clearly marked on his face.

  “Sleep,” he rasps. “I’ll take care of Holden, we’ll be right in the living room.” He turns and walks away, leaving me alone in the dark room. I have a pancake in one hand, and a towel-wrapped bag of ice in the other.

  I open my mouth to tell him that it’s fine, that I can do this alone, but the words won’t come. My head feels like it might explode, like my brain may actually escape my skull. Moments later, my eyelids droop, they slowly close and I fall asleep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  TENNESSEE

  I don’t know how long I sleep. An hour? Five? I’m honestly not sure. When I do wake up, I feel a million times better. I can’t jump up, sing and dance, but my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode anymore.

  Slowly, I sit up with a sigh. The bag of ice that was once on my head is gone, so is the few bites of pancake that I couldn’t manage to finish that I had placed on the nightstand. My face heats at the realization that Landry came in and checked on me.

  Even though I feel better, I know without a doubt that I would feel on top of the world after I took a shower. Doing just that, I slip into the bathroom quietly and as quickly as possible, I wash the sleep and headache away from my body.