Jeremy stood. “Thank you, Jill. I do appreciate your time.”
Jill stood extending her hand to shake his. She smiled. “I hope I
answered your questions about Blake. Come back if you need more.”
She escorted him to the reception area. He returned to his car and wrote in the journal. There was a lot running through his head. His pencil diligently copied thoughts to paper, rushing to capture concepts and impressions before they were forgotten.
Chapter Fourteen
Jeremy stretched in his seat. He looked back through the last few journal entries pondering the contrast of personalities between Irene Placid and Jill Ires. It was the difference between peace and wrath.
One was dominant and overbearing, forcing her subordinates into a submissive followership to avoid unleashing a tempest of emotions. The other was a student of life open to learning from everything.
Each had positive attributes along with experience and knowledge. Their innate personality traits showed him a great deal. He just had not learned much about Blake Kudrow.
His mind snapped to a few more insights about Irene and Jill. He jotted those afterthoughts into the journal as well. It occurred to him that he did not know where the project was going.
There was one last thought about Jill’s words that every day was an adventure. He contemplated that and tried to relate it to his life. He laughed introspectively that he too was realizing how much a student of life he was becoming.
He had lost his sense of adventure somewhere along the way. Jill still had it even amidst internal wrath and turmoil. She was definitely a leader. Her drive and ambition showed a lot about her internal character. She definitely had given him a different perspective about effort.
The meeting with Jill had taught him something, or more specifically, reminded him of something that was forgotten somewhere along the way.
He even tried to remember when he had lost that sense of adventure and that eager giving of effort that flowed out of him as a young man. Now he recognized his own wrath and cynicism that had replaced it.
A thought occurred to him that there was much he still had to learn. He could only imagine what there was that he might have learned from Blake Kudrow himself.
Most of his adult life had been spent trying to prove himself and show how much he knew. It had never occurred to him that there was more to learn from others than he had to teach. He suddenly wished that he had put more effort into being more of a student learning from others than acting from a point of egotism.
Jeremy exhaled deeply with a sudden regret of misused youth. A sense of remorse entered his heart as he realized how his life could or would be different if only he had put more effort into the time in his life he had wasted. It was a thought that each person had at least once in their life at one time or another.
His mind played back through the years of memories. It danced through his youth and young adulthood. He recalled memories of times that he considered adventurous. Each memory contained similar aspects.
Each was a time he was doing or trying something new. Each was an instance where the outcome was uncertain. Each held his interest, he cared about his participation and outcome, and he was excited.
All he could remember was taking actions that produced the least painful results. He worked to pay his bills. He accumulated bills filling his days with responsibilities. He took on responsibilities so that he could have a lifestyle.
It dawned on him though that his lifestyle at some point became only responsibilities and bills. At that point there was nothing new or interesting. He had stopped getting excited. Something inside of him glazed over and he really just stopped caring. His life had lost its sense of adventure.
He realized that this eulogy project was the closest thing to an adventure he had in years. He cared about the outcome and was genuinely interested in it. Jeremy realized that he would probably miss it when it was finished.
Jeremy made a few more notes in his journal and then selected the next name on the list. He recognized the address as somewhere near the hospital. He started the car and drove in that direction.
Chapter Fifteen
The address was not near the hospital. It was the hospital. Jeremy pulled into the large parking lot and selected a space up close. He realized that he was near the back. He decided to cut through the hospital to the reception area.
Jeremy instantly recognized the hospital smell of cleaning fluids and medications as he entered. He stood in a long white corridor filled with doors on both sides. His footsteps echoed as he walked.
A side corridor connected to the main one that he was walking down. Different indistinguishable noises could be heard around him, all part of the normal working sounds.
He looked down the side corridor and saw a woman walking toward him. She looked extremely familiar to him, but he could not place where he knew her from. Jeremy found himself staring at her. She looked up at him making eye contact and instantly smiling.
“Hello Jeremy, fancy meeting you here.”
It took a second for the voice to trigger his memory. “Sharon Grant, how are you?”
She stepped up and hugged him like an old friend. “I am fine. One of our residents comes here once a week for a medical treatment. I bring her and visit with other patients while I am here. It’s all about trying to spread a little hope and cheer to those who are suffering.”
He was impressed at her spirit and giving of herself to others. “That is very kind of you. You do a lot for other people, I notice.” He complimented her.
“Thank you, Jeremy. I just believe that all of us should sacrifice some time and give to others.” She locked one arm around him and
walked down the corridor with him. “How about you Jeremy, what brings you here?”
“Oh, the usual. I’m still chasing after the enigmatic Blake Kudrow. I am here to visit with Grace Clemence.” He enjoyed walking down the hall with her.
“You will like her. Grace works in administration. Sweet Lady. As for me, I have one stop to make. I always make this stop when I come to the hospital. Would you like to come with me?” She stopped walking and looked at him.
“You know what, I would.” He let her lead him down the corridor making two turns along the way.
Jeremy found himself at the hospital’s chapel. They went inside taking a seat on a bench in the back overlooking a wooden crucifix down front. A young boy was kneeling below it in prayer. Tears were streaming down his face. His eyes looked up at the cross. Colored lights reflected in his eyes and on the tears streaming down his cheeks.
A floor light illuminated him in a glow.
The boy finished his silent prayer standing to leave. He looked to Jeremy to be about ten years old. Sharon stood and stepped up to the sullen looking youth.
“Are you alright?” she asked. He looked up to her, exhaling the air from his lungs as he did. His chest heaved in heavy convulses as he tried to maintain composure. The boy nodded his head, but his eyes betrayed him welling with tears that quickly spilled down his face.
Sharon instinctively reached for the boy pulling him close into a hug that he did not refuse. He sobbed deeply for many minutes until he reached the point where there were no more tears left to cry. He pulled back from her wiping his reddened eyes as he did.
She led him to an adjacent bench and sat down with him as Jeremy looked on. Sharon took the boy’s hand. “What happened?”
The boy sniffled as he spoke. ‘My...my mother died.” “I see.” She slid closer to him on the bench.
“I just don’t understand. I prayed and everything.” The boy’s eyes stayed red from his earlier crying.
Sharon put her arm around the boy pulling him against her shoulder. “Son, this happens to all of us. There comes a moment when our time here is finished and we have to move on. It always hurts when our loved ones go. We miss them because we love them. We love them because of the part of them they gave to us while they were here. It is up to us t
o honor their memory and keep their gift alive to pass on to others. We do that so we can know love like that again. Do you understand?”
The youth looked up slowly nodding as he pondered her words. He used the palm of his hand to wipe his cheek where a tear had dried. He opened his mouth to speak, swallowing once before he began.
“She told me a story two days ago when we came to visit. She told me about Pandora’s Box. It was a box that contained every evil in the world. The box was opened by someone who wanted to peak inside. Every evil in the world escaped except one. The lid was closed before the last evil in the world got out. That evil was hope.
I didn’t understand how hope could be considered evil. I always heard that hope was a good thing. I hoped that mom would get better. I hoped really hard but, she died. Now I know why it was evil.” The boy leaned back against Sharon’s shoulder. His voice was barely audible as he continued to speak. “You know what?”
Sharon gently stroked the boy’s hair comforting him. “What?”
The boy looked up at her with a resolute look in his eyes. “I don’t care if it is evil. I am going to hope anyway. It is good for the soul to believe in something.”
Sharon lifted the boy’s chin up with one finger so she could look him in the eye. “Your mother would be proud of you. You are going to be just fine.”
The boy smiled and stood up. “I have to go. My dad is waiting.” He took a step toward the door and turned back. “I have to be strong for him too. I have enough hope for both of us. Thanks.” He waved then turned and went through the chapel door and was gone.
Sharon stood wiping a tear from her own eye. Jeremy walked back down the corridor with her. She hugged him and left to meet up with the retirement home resident who had the medical treatment. Jeremy wondered how many lives Sharon Grant had touched.
Chapter Sixteen
Grace Clemence worked in an office on the third floor. Her gray hair and blue eyes accented deep lines in her face. Grace wore flowing clothes and held a warm welcome smile for everyone she met. Jeremy introduced himself and he liked her instantly.
“Hello Jeremy, call me Grace. Please come in and make yourself at home. What can I do to help you?” She radiated warmth in her personality.
“Grace, I hope you don’t mind the interruption. I am working on writing a eulogy for a man named Blake Kudrow. It was recommended that I talk to you and get some input.” Jeremy watched closely for her response.
“My goodness, Blake Kudrow! Well, I will tell you what I can. Please sit down and tell me where you would like to start.” She motioned to a chair.
Jeremy exhaled and rolled his eyes as if he were taking on a monumental task. “That is a great question. Where is the best place to start?”
Grace smiled. “You don’t know him, do you? Let me show you something and you will know why Blake is in my heart.” She stood and walked to the door gesturing for Jeremy to follow.
Jeremy wanted to walk with Grace. There was something in her nature that brought out the best in him. He followed her down the hall, listening as she spoke.
“Blake stayed in this hospital once. Nothing major, but he was here for almost a week. He cared little about his medical care and all but
ignored the Doctor’s orders to stay in bed. We always found him in two places. Ah, here we are.” She stopped at a large window.
He stood beside her looking through the glass. Almost two dozen babies were in the nursery. Two nurses carefully tended to each one. The babies were very much newborn, some sleeping, and some seeing the world for the first time through tiny eyes. Jeremy watched with fascination.
Grace’s eyes watered as if she might cry. “Look at them Jeremy, the future adults in our world. Each of them will know joy and sorrow, pain, suffering, and yes, death.
There will be bumps and bruises, scraped knees and elbows, hurt feelings, fears in the night, broken hearts and broken dreams, fights, failures, mistakes, cuts and broken bones. Some will be bullies, victims, abused, hurt, and all before they reach puberty.
They will make errors in judgment, lie, cheat, steal and worse. Some will try drugs, commit crimes and even go to prison.
They will struggle in jobs they hate, spend too much time working to pay bills, only to be let go by disloyal companies. Some will become bankrupt and lose houses, cars, and other possessions.
Some of those babies will lose their way in life and give up. They will stop dreaming and hoping. They will give in to self pity and depression. One or two of those will attempt suicide. Others will make it. I feel for each and every one of them.”
Jeremy heard such compassion in her voice. He dared not interrupt her as she continued speaking.
“Look at them Jeremy. They will know all of the same things we
have in our life. Yet they look around eager and hungry for the world.
There is true human spirit here, each of them willing to bravely run into life headlong.
They struggle to get back up from falls and failures with a goofy grin on their face, happy just to be alive. I hope that I never lose that.”
The realization occurred to Jeremy that he himself had lost that zest for living that so defined the human spirit. He suddenly wanted it back. Tears welled in his eyes that he was quickly able to control before Grace noticed.
“I will never look at babies the same way again.” His heart had been touched.
Grace looked over at him. “There is one other place that Blake would go. Come on, I’ll show you.”
They walked in thoughtful silence to the stairs and down one flight.
Grace led him to the children’s ward. There was a large dayroom for the children to play in, filled with toys, games and a television. Many children played in the room. Squeals of laughter and the sounds of kids at play filled the air.
“Grace!” A high pitched young girl’s voice filled the room.
Jeremy watched as Grace bent down and embraced a young girl who had run up to her. He could see the back of her head as she hugged Grace, excited to see her. It was when she pulled away that he inhaled sharply.
The girl was a burn victim. Her face was almost gone. He saw the scars and skin stretched for eyelids and lips. The child did not look human. Jeremy felt saddened for the girl. He looked to Grace and realized she could see through the scars to the little girl inside.
She hugged the girl again with total acceptance. It made him embarrassed. Grace introduced the girl to Jeremy and they shook hands. Suddenly he could see through the veil of scars to the energetic girl inside who was oblivious to her appearance.
A boy’s voice sounded behind Jeremy. “Come on Mary. Don’t hog Grace. I want a hug too.”
The little girl named Mary giggled and ran back to the board game she was playing with the other children. She waved to Grace and Jeremy from across the room. Grace turned and hugged the boy who had come up to her.
“Hello Benjamin, how are you feeling today?”
Benjamin was twelve years old and looked to be eighty. He was bald with pale opaque skin and dark circles under his eyes. He had all of the telltale signs of advanced cancer. He grinned like a champion. Strength of spirit shone in his eyes.
“I’m fine Grace. I am finishing my chemotherapy. It looks like I am in remission. My body is healing and getting stronger. I’m glad to be through the worst of it.”
Grace grinned and hugged him. The boy looked knowingly to Jeremy. Jeremy had trouble keeping eye contact. Benjamin smiled at him. “Want to know how I beat it?”
Jeremy was speechless and could only nod. Benjamin spoke knowingly. “It wasn’t the medicine or the radiation. That helped and all. But what really made the difference came from inside. It was my spirit. I knew I could beat it. I believed it and stayed strong through all the suffering.
I wasn’t afraid to die. So there was nothing that it could really do to me. That meant it had no power over me. I fought and fought. I’ve got a strong spirit and I kicked its butt.”
Benjami
n grinned. The inner strength he had radiated out of him. This boy had fought through much suffering and was stronger for it. Jeremy felt ashamed that he had so little of that in him and had to be reminded of it by this boy who had the spirit of a champion.
They talked briefly. The pager on Grace’s belt went off. She checked the message and announced that she had to go. She hugged Benjamin and whispered in his ear. “I’m proud of you. Be sure to tell the rest how you did it.”
Benjamin went back to the other children playing. Grace walked Jeremy to the elevator and shook his hand. “Jeremy, I think you saw more into Blake Kudrow and what he cared about today. I wish I had more time to give you today, but duty calls.
Jeremy shook her hand. “Grace, I learned something from you too. Thank you for your time.”
He returned to his car and wrote in the journal. He filled many pages by the time all of his thoughts were on paper. Jeremy had experienced much in that visit to the hospital. He found himself suddenly famished.
The journal was becoming quite a book of thoughts and experiences. Jeremy thought about the things he was going through in his own life and kept it in perspective after what he had experienced.
His own life began to seem less important and less significant. Jeremy started the car and drove to a restaurant to eat. The food tasted better and he appreciated each bite. He felt as if he had a new lease on life.
Jeremy wrote in his journal after he finished his meal. He gained insights the more he thought about the visits. Each held introspections that came out. The single component missing seemed to be specific information about Blake Kudrow.
He looked through his papers excited to meet the next person. Jeremy made a mental note to acquire more information about Blake in his next visit.
Chapter Seventeen
The Legacy Inheritance Page 6
