William Strong did not just work at a fire station. He was a fireman. Beyond that, he was the epitome of the All American Fireman image that little boys wanted to grow up to be. At least, that is what Jeremy thought when they met.
At six foot, two inches and two hundred and fifteen pounds, William was tall, muscular and carried himself with solid movement. His uniform was neatly pressed with sharp creases down the sleeves and pant legs.
“Mr. Strong, good to meet you. My name is Jeremy Worth. Can I talk to you about Blake Kudrow? I am writing his eulogy.” Jeremy shook his hand.
William smiled exposing a set of perfect teeth. His pale blue eyes twinkled. “My pleasure, Mr. Worth; come in and have a seat. Call me Will.”
He led Jeremy through the fire station into a break room area. Will sat with him at a table. “What can I tell you about Blake Kudrow?”
Jeremy noticed that Will sat with good posture. “Actually, a lot. I do not know him.”
Will leaned back in the chair clasping his hands together behind his head. “Well, let’s see. I know he supported the community programs that the firefighters help with each year.
He also sponsored the dinner for firefighter heroes that the city puts on annually. I understand that he donated the awards that came with the medals. If he did, it was very generous, at least in my case.”
Jeremy put his arms on the table leaning in towards Will. “Your case?”
Will nodded. “Last year I was presented with the firefighter’s award for valor. It came with a generous bonus.”
“What did you do to get the medal?” Jeremy sincerely wanted to hear the story.
His blue eyes locked with Jeremy’s. “No one purposely plans to be a hero. There just comes a time when we take action because anything else would be an unacceptable option. We know that there is risk and danger, but we take decisive action in a most forthright manner.
I took action in one of those situations even though it could have caused my death. I believe that I did exactly what anyone else would have done in the same situation. You see, I am just an average man. My bravery was not pre-planned. I was afraid too. But, I ignored that fear and did what I had to do.
It was just over a year ago, over on the west side. We responded to an apartment fire, three alarms. Those are the worst, too many residences.
The building was only three stories tall. The first unit on the scene reported it evacuated. We were staying outside and shooting water on the roof and in the windows to douse the flames.
This was a hot fire. The third floor was almost gone. The second floor was going good too. Anyway, a woman ran up screaming that her child was still in there. I looked at her and then at the burning building. Apartment two-one-eight she screamed.
I grabbed an axe and a fire extinguisher. The next thing I knew I am in the building running up a flight of stairs into a smoke filled hallway.
The end of the hall was totally in flames. There was no visibility past apartment 204. I charged on anyway. The fire roared like a thundering waterfall. Smoke was everywhere. The door to her apartment was hot.
It was dangerous but, I hit the door with my axe. The door almost blasted apart. Heat roared out singing my hair. The apartment was in flames.
A tiny voice yelled for help. I almost did not find her. She was hiding under a polyester bedspread in her mother’s room. Have you ever seen what polyester does in a fire? It melts.
The bedspread was on fire and had melted across the child. I used the fire extinguisher and put out the blanket. I lifted the child in my arms and carried her out of the building.
When I sat her down at the ambulance, the blanket had melted to my coat. They helped me pull it off and started treating the little girl. She had third degree burns across her face.
She will never look the same again. But you know what? She writes me a letter every week and thanks for me for saving her life. You should see her. She is so full of life.
I do not think that it was bravery. It was just what had to be done. There really was not a decision to be made. I took action and that action saved Mary Smith’s life. They gave me the medal because of that.
A loud speaker alarm sounded overhead. It announced a fire and Will Strong sprang into action. “I have to go. Come back when you can and we can finish.”
He ran out the door towards the fire truck. Jeremy sat still for a moment in awe. Will seemed like the bravest man he had ever met.
Halfway home, he realized that the little girl in the hospital was probably the same Mary. Jeremy went home and wrote in his journal for quite a while that night.
Jeremy awoke the next morning before the sunrise. He was up, shaved and showered before he would normally wake up. He stood in his front yard sipping a cup of coffee and watched the sunrise.
His emotions felt full and vibrant despite the fact that there was still no word from the company. He made a hearty breakfast as if he were rewarding himself. The dishes were done and the kitchen cleaned before he selected the next name of the list.
He did not know where all of his energy was coming from. He did not question it too much as it had been far too long since he felt it. Jeremy wished that he could keep that feeling going.
The next person on the list was Elijah Hallow. Jeremy drove to an upper middle class shopping district and found his way to the address provided. It was a bookstore like none he had seen before. This store held books on all subjects of spirituality and religion.
Elijah Hallow looked much younger than he actually was. His chestnut brown hair hung straight in a bowl cut. His eyes deep and clear brown, only a shade lighter than most brown eyes, yet not quite hazel in color. He stood five foot, eight inches and wore comfortable clothes in earth tones that hung loosely over his thin frame.
To Jeremy, he was quiet and confident. There was something in his nature that exuded joy and a balanced temperament. Elijah made Jeremy feel comfortable and welcome as soon as he entered the book store. “Hi, I’m looking for Elijah Hallow.”
“Call me Eli. What can I do to help you?” Eli blinked slowly and focused on Jeremy.
“I’m Jeremy Worth. I have been sent to you for some help writing a eulogy for Blake Kudrow.” He nodded once as if to set in his statement.
“Come in, come in. You are welcome here. What can I tell you about Blake?” Eli’s baby face appeared to hide some mystery.
Jeremy walked over to Eli’s counter. “Tell me anything I can use. I do not have much information about him.”
Eli grinned knowingly. “Most people are like that. Blake was different though. He was probably the most focused individual I have ever met, very spiritual too. He bought a lot of books here and even attended one of my meditation classes.
Blake has this inner peace. He taught me a few things too. He had gotten rid of the suffering in his life and was always in a state ofjoy.”
The statement caught Jeremy’s attention. He had never heard of
anyone who did not have suffering in their lives. “How did he do that?”
Eli’s face took on a serene expression. “It is philosophical really. He told me once that he had figured out what caused things in this world. Blake explained.
First we have ignorance. We ignore or do not see the truth in ourselves. That is where the suffering starts. Then we act on impulse. Out of ignorance we take impulsive actions in our surroundings.
We develop our thinking consciousness from the impulses taken. This all works like a chain reaction.
From there we develop ideas about things. Some of these ideas are wrong but still real to us. We use our senses of hearing, seeing, touching, smell and tasting in contact with our surroundings. This creates our own feeling of likes and dislikes.
That is where our trouble starts. We cling to these likes and dislikes comparing every experience against them. This is really what suffering is.
Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering, sorrow and lamentation are suffering, pa
in, grief and despair are suffering, association with the unpleasant is suffering, disassociation from the pleasant is suffering, not to get what we want is suffering.
The origin of suffering is the indulgence in physical things of the world. Blake Kudrow found joy in the ceasing of physical clinging. He surrendered that thirst for the physical so he could live right.
Living right meant he had the right view and understanding of things, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration.
Simply put, Blake Kudrow was one cool dude. He had himself together and was in balance. Blake found joy in that simple philosophy. His focus was sharing that joy with others. He improved the lives of many people.”
Jeremy could not understand that kind of focus or joy. He had too much grief in his life for too long. That was when he noticed a small framed sign on the wall behind Eli. “Argue for your limitations and you will win.”
Jeremy thought that he began to understand and then thinking that he understood felt like he was clinging too much to his own ego. It seemed like he did not understand at all. “This all sounds like some kind of Zen riddle.”
Eli bowed his head slightly acknowledging. “Exactly, now you are a beginning student of Zen.”
Jeremy wrinkled his eyebrows. He had no interest in learning anything about Zen Buddhism. The thought occurred to him that the philosophy was just part of the territory in a store like this.
Still it would not hurt him to actively practice some spirituality in his life. After all, Eli exuded serenity and appeared very focused. “Did Blake come up with this philosophy all on his own?”
Eli laughed at the question. “No, not exactly, it has been around for thousands of years. It is just not too prevalent in our western culture.
I have studied the ancient sacred texts of Buddhism though and read the bible from cover to cover. Even I was amazed at how similar the religions are at their roots.
Both religions have an enlightened being on the earth, Christianity
basically teaches to love your neighbor, forgive your enemy, and do not
sin. Buddhism teaches to separate from physical desires, do not do evil,
but do good and have a kind, loving heart toward everyone. It would not
surprise me if the two religions had gotten ideas from each other over
the centuries.”
Jeremy turned pensive for a few seconds while he thought over Eli’s words. He could tell that there was an inherent truth to his words that transcended any specific religion. “This sounds like more of a spiritual philosophy than religion. How does it relate to Blake Kudrow?”
“Blake was a very spiritual person. He lived right. With him it was not only words. He truly believed in avoiding sin and physical desires in any excess. He tried to help everyone and had their interests in his heart. His needs were more esoteric than most peoples.” Eli looked as if he were remembering specific instances.
“He sounds like a good person to be friends with.” Jeremy suddenly missed the man he did not remember meeting.
Eli looked back at Jeremy. “Most of us live our lives as we were the stones on the bottom of a river. Blake was more like the river current itself.”
They spoke for a few more minutes. Jeremy departed returning to his car. He had to ponder that meeting for awhile before writing about it in his journal. He wanted to capture the right words to adequately express his thoughts and feelings.
Jeremy selected the next name on the list. It was a short drive to a different part of the city. But, the day was still early and he had plenty of time to make progress on the list of names. He still had no idea what he was going to put in the eulogy.
Chapter Eighteen
Stuart Demure wore blue jeans and a western shirt on his short and slightly overweight body. He was a retired mortician. Jeremy took him to be gentle, polite and likeable. He treated Jeremy with great respect. It was almost as if Jeremy were a superior to him.
He welcomed Jeremy into his old Victorian home that left the impression of a haunted house. The house was clean and well maintained. It occurred to Jeremy that this was a restored historic home. Stuart led them into a sitting room.
“Now, Mr. Worth, I know it is a grave task to be responsible for someone’s eulogy. Blake Kudrow paid you a great honor to be the one to pay the respects. That is quite a compliment. What can I do to assist in this onerous task?” Stuart’s words were slowly paced while he made wide open gestures.
Jeremy thought that Stuart talked like a funeral director. At least he came by it honestly. “Mostly I need to know about Blake Kudrow the man. What was he like?”
Stuart thought a moment before answering. “He was strong. He displayed great strength of spirit. There were many adversities in his life and Blake was strong through them all.
For instance, he suffered through a state of depression, he was totally bankrupt twice in his life, and a business associate cheated him. He survived cancer, and changed careers too many times to count. Yet he stayed strong.
He always survived each adversity. Somehow it seemed that Blake always landed on his feet like a cat. He did not consider himself lucky either, more the opposite if anything.
Blake just had this special inner strength that allowed him to pick himself up each time he fell or life knocked him in the dirt. He always found the strength to stand back up and keep going.
Most anyone would have given up and stopped trying after awhile. Not Blake though. He was stronger than ten men. Not in the physical sense. His strength came from some place inside. He was really an inspiration to me.
In fact, death, that great predator who stalks each of us waiting for the time to strike, would not find Blake Kudrow cowering or timid. Death would have found Blake standing tall, living life as hard as he could, face to face.
As for myself, I am just a humble servant not worthy to walk in Blake’s shadow. It was always best for me in a place on the sidelines of life. Each of us has a role to play. Mine was that as a simple escort to those who finished their time on earth.
You see, I believe everyone should practice humility. Not humiliation, that is different, but, to be humble. That is a great achievement. It has been my experience that life is a long lesson in humility. Every time I got the bighead, life came along and made me humble again.
You know, I have heard that if you ever want to make God laugh; just tell him your plans. If that statement does not humble a person, they should do some serious soul searching.
I do know certain things though, Mr. Worth. I know that it is best to approach life in humility because it can be as unforgiving as a stormy sea. But, if I had an ounce of the strength that Blake Kudrow had, I could face any adversity.” Stuart cleared his throat and stopped talking.
Jeremy thought about Stuart’s unique perspective on things. His first impression was that the man was morbid. Then he realized that he was in the midst of one of the most humble people he had ever met.
Humility was a trait almost gone in western civilization. Most people are so absorbed in their own selves that they do not see any one else in any depth. Every sentence they spoke was about “I”, “me” or “my.” They constantly referred to different expressions of self and how their ‘self’ interpreted the world. Jeremy wondered how long he could go without referring to himself.
“Thank you very much Stuart. That information will be very helpful. Is there anything else you can add?” So far, so good, he thought to himself.
Stuart pondered Blake Kudrow a little longer. “Yes, Blake had empathy. It was not sympathy where he felt sorry for others. He felt for others. Blake could relate to a person and feel what they felt. He would empathize with their pain and frustration, their suffering and joy. He took such pleasure from his ability to relate so well to others. It was almost as if everyone was his child. He hurt when they hurt. He celebrated in their successes. He mourned for their losses. He was a great human being that we can a
ll take a lesson from.”
Jeremy pursed his lips suddenly aware of his own shortcomings. He felt like he paled in comparison to Blake Kudrow vowing to do things a little differently. “Blake sounds like someone that all of us would have been better for knowing him.”
Stuart smiled. “He was one that made the world a better place.”
They talked for another half hour. Stuart relayed stories and examples about Blake Kudrow. Jeremy felt as if this was the best meeting where he actually gathered information for the eulogy. He
realized that the primary difference was in his approach and the questions he asked.
Jeremy thanked Stuart Demure and then returned to his car. He opened the journal and his pencil moved swiftly across paper barely able to keep up with his thoughts. He did not want to risk losing a single idea.
He automatically looked at the next name on the list. Instead he backtracked to see where his work had been shallow. Jeremy opted for a repeat visit to ask additional questions so he could get better results from his effort.
Chapter Nineteen
Elizabeth Haught was at home. She welcomed Jeremy in and invited him to have some tea. He found himself sitting back in the same chair as before as if a repeated custom was playing out again.
Jeremy remained polite and even more respectful than he had been before. Elizabeth lapped it up like a hungry kitten at a bowl of milk. The treatment made her act confidently as if she were used to people bowing down to her.
“There are needs that each of us have, Mr. Worth. Some of those needs we are not aware of while they drive us like sled dogs through our days.
My downfall is pride. I know that. I have an ego a mile wide. But, I know how to use my pride to get what I want. Knowing myself gives me a certain level of confidence too.
Being in touch with your needs is like owning an exotic pet with special care and feeding requirements. Tend to it correctly and it will thrive growing into an extension of your personality.
The Legacy Inheritance Page 7
