Exile

by Denise Mina

‘It’s just I don’t really know why I’m here,’ Kilty said stiffly. ‘You know, in London no-one asks to meet a stranger without a reason.’

  ‘I’ve got a reason,’ said Maureen. ‘I want to know whereabouts in Wandsworth Mr Headie’s new office is.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I want to see him, I want to know what sort of cases he deals with and who his clients are.’

  ‘And what would knowing Headie’s clientele tell you?’

  ‘I want to know what sort of people were familiar with that firm’s old name. The headed letter was hand-delivered in Glasgow and the person who sent it might be an old client.’

  ‘And what do I get in return?’ asked Kilty.

  It was a peculiar question. Maureen had the feeling that she was being asked for money but she didn’t want to pay her. There would be any number of people who knew about Mr Headie and the benefits system.

  ‘I can teach you how to smoke,’ said Maureen. Kilty smiled at the window.

  ‘Look,’ said Maureen, ‘forget it, it doesn’t really matter, I can look him up in the phone book or ask someone else.’ Kilty picked at the handle of her poly-bag, pulling the two layers of plastic apart. ‘’Kay,’ she said sombrely. ‘But I don’t want to get into anything here. I don’t want to be your new best friend or anything.’

  It was ludicrous: Maureen was going home in a couple of days, she was certain that she’d never see the little frog woman again anyway, and she still felt rejected. ‘Okay. Okay. We’ll never see each other again after this.’

  ‘And you have to tell me the story about the woman,’ said Kilty. ‘The woman who’s disappeared.’

  Maureen held up her hands. ‘I don’t know what to tell you. I’m down here because I don’t know what’s happened to her. She’s got two kids, a husband who works in a shipyard as a welder and she likes to play the piano.’ Kilty watched her, wanting more. ‘The last time anyone saw her she was in the Coach and Horses.’

  Kilty sat with her hands below the table and stared at Maureen’s waist.

  ‘That’s all I know,’ said Maureen.

  Kilty nodded to her waist and Maureen saw that she was staring at the packet of cigarettes. She had been teasing when she said she’d teach Kilty how to smoke but Kilty was serious. Maureen gave her a fag and a light. Kilty sucked in the smoke, puffing like an over-wound automaton, watching the tip of her fag and going very slightly cross-eyed. Maureen was going to tell her to inhale just a little at first, not draw her cheeks in so much and keep her eye off the tip but she still felt slighted at the suggestion that she was going to trap Kilty into a lifelong friendship. ‘That’s fine, actually,’ she said, ‘you’re doing that fine.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Aye.’

  ‘It doesn’t feel the same as what everyone else does.’

  ‘Maybe you’re just thinking about it too much.’ Kilty looked bewildered. ‘Hm, maybe. You won’t find Mr Headie in the phone book. He doesn’t have a new office.

  He’s in Wandsworth prison.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Yeah, few months ago the whole of Coldharbour Lane was an open drugs market. But now look.’ She pointed across the street at a tall grey pole with a high steel box aimed down the Lane. ‘They had a big clean-up and put CCTV all up and down it.’

  ‘So now the nervous junkies have to go up dark alleys with their tenners and twenties?’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Kilty. ‘Mr Headie was one of the first casualties in a big clean-up operation. He was arrested with half a kilo of uncut cocaine in his briefcase.’

  ‘Mr Headie was into that, was he?’

  ‘He was skimming money, yeah, legally and illegally. He represented everyone and gave some of them special services. Anyway, he got done.’ She looked at her watch and seemed concerned. ‘Is that all?’ she said quickly. ‘Do you know anything about a trade in benefit books?’ Kilty waved her fag about, getting the feel of it. ‘I know there is one. They pay a small portion of the value to the person up front. They buy them from alkies and junkies. It’s about as low a scam as you can get.’

  ‘The woman’s child-benefit book is missing. Could anyone cash the book?’

  ‘Not unless she’d signed the back,’ said Kilty. ‘When they buy the book they get the person to sign the agent clause on each cheque. If she’d signed and dated them all in advance they could cash them.’

  ‘How much would it be for four kids per week?’ Kitty thought about it. ‘About fifty-odd quid. I thought you said she had two kids?’

  Maureen looked at Kilty and Kilty stared back. ‘I didn’t say it was her book. Did I?’ The question wasn’t rhetorical.

  ‘No,’ smiled Kilty, ‘you haven’t said that yet. But I think you’re about to.’

  Maureen avoided insulting her with the obvious. ‘If the book was made out to a Glasgow address, could she cash it down here?’ she asked.

  ‘She’d have to give notice that she was moving,’ said Kilty.

  ‘She’d have to let the post office know in advance where she was moving to and when the first cheque would be cashed. Like I said, if someone else is cashing the thing they’d need her consent.’

  If Ann had sold it in London she must have known in advance she was going to run here.

  Outside the window the street was busy and shoppers spilled into the road from the market.

  ‘Well, Kilty, that’s really all I wanted to know,’ said Maureen, standing up. ‘Thanks very much for coming to meet me, despite your misgivings. You’ve been really helpful.’ She slid two cigarettes across the table to her. ‘Keep them to play with.’

  Kilty reached out and took them. ‘You really haven’t kept your side of the bargain,’ she said. ‘You haven’t told me anything that wasn’t a total lie—’ But her reproach was interrupted by the tune from Maureen’s pager.

  . . . About . . .

  ...Ann. I Am

  ...2/1 631 Argyle

  Street. Brixton

  Hill come now.

  Maureen sat down again and stared at the message, reading it through and through, trying to understand how anyone could have heard about her within one day of her arrival and how they could have got her pager number. The only people who had it were Jimmy, Leslie, Liam and Moe. And the barman from the Coach and Horses. It was the lying barman.

  ‘You haven’t told me about the woman.’ Kilty saw her looking puzzled. ‘Don’t you understand the message?’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Maureen. ‘I just don’t know how they got my number.’

  Kilty twisted around and read the address over her shoulder. ‘Jesus,’ she said. ‘You’re not going up there on your own, are ye?’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I wouldn’t go up there,’ said Kilty. ‘Don’t go.’ Maureen tutted. ‘Look, I was up at Dumbarton Court the other day. There’s a gang of teenagers hanging around but it’s not that bad.’

  ‘Dumbarton Court’s fine. The Argyle, that’s a different country. When they broke up Coldharbour the trade moved up the road. Don’t go up there.’

  It sounded like an order but Maureen couldn’t imagine why Kilty thought she’d do what she said. ‘’S no big deal, I know the guy who sent the message.’

  ‘D’you know him well?’

  Maureen wanted so much to be right that she almost lied. ‘No,’ she said, ‘I don’t know him at all but I’m going anyway. You can come with me if you’re that worried.’

  Kilty put her Woolies bag on the floor and took out the cigarettes, sitting them on the table. ‘Give me the address,’ she said. ‘I’ll wait here for you and if you’re not back in an hour I’ll call the police.’

  Maureen showed it to her. Kilty shut her eyes and said it over and over to herself.

  ‘I thought you had to get back to your work?’ said Maureen.

  Kilty lifted one of the cigarettes
, sitting it between her fingers. ‘I don’t work Saturdays.’ She looked at her prop cigarette and smiled up at Maureen.

  ‘So, all that clock watching,’ said Maureen. ‘You’ve just lied to me continuously?’

  ‘You tell me the truth and I’ll tell you the truth.’ Kilty spread her hand over her tiny grinning face, pretending to puff on her unlit fag like a movie star. ‘See ye in an hour,’ she said, exhaling imaginary smoke through her teeth.

  34

  Scarface

  Williams had gone off for a piss and left the tape-recorder running. They were in a small interview room. The pale grey walls were tinged with yellow smoke. The smell of a hundred frightened punters clung to the wall and Bunyan felt that she could smell their sweat, the desperate lies and nervous resignations. Jimmy Harris was smoking and looking at his hands. He had sat silently all the way to Carlisle and had gone meekly into the holding cell. When they went to get him in the morning all he asked about were his kids. Harris wasn’t working to a game plan, that much was clear already. He was making it up as he went along, stumbling over his story, backing up when he got caught out and telling them the truth when the tears came. The lies weren’t meant to get him off, he didn’t give a shit what happened to him, but he cared about his kids.

  He looked up at her now and crumbled his chin into a polite semblance of a smile.

  ‘You all right?’ asked Bunyan, able to be kind without contradicting Williams now that they were alone. Harris sniffed and nodded. ‘The kids’ll be all right, you know.’

  Harris nodded again, nervously, and took another draw. ‘You’re lucky with your family,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if I could find a family member ready to sit with my kid over a Friday night.’

  Harris exhaled. ‘You got kids?’

  ‘Yeah. Little girl. She’s three. Called Angie.’ Harris softened. ‘Nice name. My wife,’ he gestured to the past and took another drag, ‘she wanted a wee girl. Kept trying because she wanted a girl.’

  ‘I’d like a boy now.’

  ‘Boys are hard work. They’re not obedient like girls.’

  Bunyan laughed softly and sat back. ‘You really haven’t got a girl, have you? They’re terrible. Whatever you tell them they do the opposite. Just like when they grow up.’

  Harris smiled and showed his horrible little teeth but Bunyan didn’t notice. She was looking at his eyes. Alone with four kids and no money. Jesus. Harris’s face fell suddenly sombre and he glanced at the tape. ‘Will ye promise to keep the social work away from my boys?’

  ‘I can’t promise that, Mr Harris, but I’ll try.’ Harris drew a deep, trembling breath, and propped his elbows on the table, resting his forehead in his hands. ‘I was in London,’ he muttered to the table-top. ‘Someone put a ticket through my door and I went down on a plane for the day.’

  Startled by the vital piece of information, Bunyan forgot how she sounded. ‘Who would do that?’ she breathed.

  ‘I don’t know. But I think I better tell ye because if I don’t they will.’

  Kilty was right about the Argyle. It was a short, narrow road but the yellow-brick block of flats was dirty and less cared-for than Dumbarton Court. Maureen looked through the small glass panel on the door to block six and knew she didn’t want to go up there. The stairwell was littered with burnt juice cans, fag butts and empty crisp packets. At the very foot of the flight sat what she hoped was a dog turd. She could hear someone walking slowly down the stairs, their footfalls uncertain and irregular. She backed away from the door and walked across the road, standing at the bus stop, watching. The door opened and a skinny woman emerged, walking uncertainly, her eyes glazed and troubled. She wore a sweatshirt with ‘Viva Las Vegas’ written on it in a rubberized transfer, the kind that peels off in a hot wash. She made her way out to the hill, steadying herself against the bus-stop wall. She didn’t look any more able to handle herself than Maureen. Tentatively, Maureen approached the entrance and walked up to the second floor, reminding herself that it was just the boring barman and she had nothing to fear but long pauses.

  There was no welcome mat in front of flat 2/1. The door was coated in sheets of bolted metal, and a protective outer door, constructed from seventies hacienda-style wrought iron, stood half a foot out from the wall. A big three dimensional spy-hole, like a marble, stuck out from the door in a way that would allow the viewer to see downstairs and into every dark shadow on the landing. The doorbell at the side was drilled into the wall. She pressed and stepped back, waiting for the answer.

  ‘Who’re ye?’ It was a man’s voice, a Scottish man, and he sounded nervous.

  Maureen had been expecting the barman.

  ‘I got a message to come here.’

  ‘Who from?’

  ‘On my pager.’

  Four or five metal locks of different types snapped, crunched and slid back. The door opened with the chain on. A man’s eye looked out at her, checking her out, looking behind her. The door shut, the chain came off and he opened it, swinging the bars out, beckoning her indoors while he kept his eye on the stairs. He was white and in his forties, with a twisted stab scar on his left cheek. The contused skin had contracted as it healed, dragging the cheek down and in. An older, cleaner slash line ran from the soft skin on the outside of his left eye, across his cheek, ending in an artful twist on the tip of his nose. Face-slashing is a Scottish gang custom, used to teach lessons and mark opponents. No wonder he was nervous. No wonder he’d left Glasgow. ‘Come,’ he whispered, flapping his hand urgently, calling her in.

  Maureen didn’t want to go in. She didn’t like the bars on the door or the dirty stairs or the locks. ‘Who are you?’ she said, crossing her arms and shifting her weight on to one foot, letting him know she wasn’t moving.

  ‘Tam Parlain,’ he said, and pointed at her. ‘You’re from Glasgow, eh?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘You’ll have heard of my family.’

  ‘No,’ said Maureen. ‘I’m sorry, I haven’t.’ Tam Parlain was still watching the stairs. ‘Ah, come on,’ he said, ‘you’ve heard of the Parlains. From Paisley.’

  ‘No, I haven’t, I’m sorry. Why would I have?’ He looked at her and seemed disappointed. ‘Well,’ he said, acting modest, ‘we’re in the news a lot.’ He smiled and the stab scar on his cheek puckered, dragging the skin into a pointed nipple. He remembered what he looked like and let his face fall. Maureen guessed that the Parlains didn’t grow prize marrows.

  ‘Come in,’ he said. ‘I can’t keep the door open.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘There’s guys after me.’

  ‘D’you know anything about Ann?’

  ‘Ann? The poor girl who was found? Aye, come in.’

  She was wary and unsure, but Maureen thought of Kilty and squeezed the stabbing comb in her pocket. She sidled past him, turning through the half-foot he left for her.

  Parlain shut the door and Maureen watched as he did up the locks again. She tried to remember the order and method of each but by the time she had walked through the hall to the living room she’d forgotten the second and third locks.

  The living room was a long rectangle with a fitted kitchen at the back and a breakfast bar marking out the territories. The flat-pack kitchen cupboards had been badly put together and several of the doors were missing. The cupboards were empty. A fussy dark green leather sofa with loose cushion attachments sat against the wall and next to it a coffee table, recently washed and still wet. The room was ridiculously clean. The walls had been painted with glaring white emulsion. There was no carpet on the floor, just big squares of immaculate bare hardboard, painted black. The picture window was barred from the inside. ‘Sit down.’ He motioned to the tattered leather sofa.

  Maureen took a seat, resting her hands beside her on the leather sofa and looked up at him. Tam Parlain twitched like a heavy smoker and his eyes were hollow and insi
ncere.

  ‘Tam,’ said Maureen, ‘did you page me?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  He sat down next to her on the settee, turning to face her, his arm outstretched behind her, like a gauche teenager angling for a snog. He half smiled and pointed at her. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘What’s your name again?’

  She didn’t want the creepy fuck to know her name. The barman had probably told him already. ‘Marian,’ she said. If they cross-checked the name each would think the other had misheard.

  ‘Marian.’ He took time to think about it and she knew the barman had told him it was Maureen.

  ‘Whereabouts in Glasgow are ye from, Marian?’ he said, trying to place her in the city and work out whether she was connected.

  ‘Just Glasgow,’ she said, sitting forward, taking her fags out of her pocket. She didn’t want to offer them in case Parlain touched her. ‘The barman at the Coach and Horses gave you my pager number, didn’t he?’

  ‘Oh, aye.’

  ‘Do you know something about Ann?’

  ‘Aye, Ann. Poor Ann.’ He hung his head. ‘That was terrible.’

  Maureen lifted the fag to her mouth, and as she lit it she noticed that her hands were damp and giving off an odd smell, like a detergent. They felt gritty. He had been washing his leather sofa with watery detergent. He had washed the floor too and the coffee table, and the kitchen cupboards were empty. He had washed every surface in the house. He was exactly the sort of paranoid lulu Liam would have turned into if he hadn’t stopped dealing. She turned back to him, pitying him his life, nodding along with him. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘it was terrible. And how did you know Ann?’

  ‘We drank in the same pubs around here.’ He let the conversation falter.

  ‘Do you know her sister?’ asked Maureen.

  Parlain shook his head and again they found themselves staring blankly at one another. ‘She lives a few streets up,’ she said.

  ‘Naw, I don’t know her.’ He stared at Maureen as if he was waiting for her to do something. ‘What is it you want to tell me, Tam?’

  ‘Oh.’ His eyes slid to the floor and he looked very serious. ‘You were asking about a guy. Thought I might know him.’