"It's not like that." I close my eyes and rub my forehead. Maybe I should come clean with her. I need some perspective, and since she knows us both, Lexi's a good choice. Plus it doesn't hurt that she's my best friend and will be looking out for my interest.
"God, Lexi, he's such a jerk. He's judgmental and stubborn. Doesn't listen to reason at all. And the man believes he's right no matter what. If that's not enough, he's arrogant and conceited..."
"And hot."
"And hot. So fucking hot," I repeat without thinking.
The grin on her face widens and spreads.
I stop speaking when I realize what she said. The last thing I needed was to hear Lexi say he's hot and to agree so emphatically. Shit, I didn't need to hear that she finds him attractive. What if they really are sneaking around behind Noah's back?
"I'm not seeing the problem here," Lexi teases.
"Fine. There's you and whatever is going on between you."
"Me?" she asks, insulted. "Are you crazy?"
"He had me in his bed, and he left me there alone to call you."
The whites of her green eyes bulge. "You slept with him? And didn't tell me?" she asks, completely ignoring what I just insinuated about her and Jagger.
I shake my head. My words are coming out all wrong. "No. Yes. I mean I slept in his bed, but we didn't have sex. Never mind."
Lexi grins from ear to ear again as she studies me. She has a smug, all-knowing look on her face, and I hate it. She sees through my lies and denials, and it infuriates me.
"I've never seen you this flustered over a guy. You're usually practical and all business."
"I know." I say in all seriousness, without even a trace of humor or irony. "For once, it's all about how he makes me feel. And it terrifies me."
Lexi drapes her arm around my shoulder and tilts her head so it's touching mine. "Sometimes the things we find scariest are the things closest to our hearts."
"This isn't like you and Noah. I'm not secretly in love with Jagger. I don't even know if I can love anyone ever again."
"Of course you can. You just need to find the right guy, and then it will come. Don't go looking for love, let love find you."
"There's a lot more to this, Lexi. How can I ever trust anyone after what Bailey did?"
"Bailey was a selfish prick."
"I know," I answer without missing a beat.
"Jagger's a good guy."
"Should it bother me this much that you're defending him? You're the one that's always saying what a pain in the ass he is, and how you wish he'd drop off the face of the earth."
"I guess I read the situation wrong and before now, I didn't believe he really had feelings for you."
"Feelings?" What could he possibly feel for me besides lust? "Attraction is one thing, but actual feelings?"
Lexi rubs my arm. "Just be straight with him. Don't lead him on. He's been through enough."
"You're warning me not hurt him?"
"Allie, he lost a lot since high school. A lot of people he cares about."
"Great, so you're telling me on top of everything else, including the fact that he's my stepbrother, he's on the rebound?"
"You're the only one rebounding here. And as his friend, I have to warn you if that's all you're using him for, I'm going to be super pissed at you. If you just need someone to get off with to forget Bailey, Jagger's not your guy."
What the hell just happened? Did I get sucked through a wormhole and land in a parallel universe? She's supposed to be on my side, threatening to cut off Jagger’s dick if he hurts me. I take in a deep breath, stupefied at the direction this conversation went in. I confided in Lexi, sort of, because I thought she'd put Jagger in his place, and I'm the one getting lectured?
"Gee thanks. It's nice to know you're in my corner."
"I want you to be happy, Allie. That's all."
Lexi wraps her arms around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze as Marlena and Selene creep over to our space on the deck. The conversation turns to pregnancy and baby must-haves. I tune them out. I need to find an excuse to bow out of here. I don't want to put a damper on Lexi's happiness, but I don't know how much longer I can feign excitement.
Before I can utter an excuse for my sudden need to leave, Jagger has his arms wrapped around Lexi.
"Congratulations, beautiful. Noah better take good care of you." He's speaking to Lexi but his eyes are glued to me. "Speaking of your husband taking care of you, I came clean. About us."
"What?" Her body stiffens.
"That's right. Figured the time was right for the truth to come out. He said you've been very naughty. Bet he's thinking of some fun way to punish you right now." Jagger pulls back and wiggles his eyebrows at Lexi. "You can thank me later." He laughs before turning to say his farewells to Marlena and Selene.
I wonder if he's going to ignore me and leave without even a goodbye. Will he wrap me up in his arms for a long, drawn-out hug because his body is screaming out for mine? I wait to see, holding my breath, biting my lip.
"Allie," butterflies in my belly wake as he speaks my name. "Do you still want me to take a look at the dryer, see if I can fix it?"
The corners of my lips turn up as I nod. "That would be..." I don't recognize my voice. It's deep and sultry. I clear my throat. "I would love that."
He jerks his head toward the sliding glass doors and I make haste in saying goodbye.
*
"No worries, I'm not really planning on coming over. You looked uncomfortable, and I thought I'd give you an excuse to escape," he leans over and whispers, walking me out.
"Thanks."
He nods, hands stuffed in his pockets, and I'm disappointed they're not reaching for me. We're only a few feet away from my car. Away from him turning and leaving. My heart is thrashing about in my chest, furious with me for keeping it caged and holding it prisoner instead of giving it a chance to jump into Jagger's hands. It rallies against me, creating an ache deep within, making it hard to breathe.
We're at my car and time is passing at warp speed. I want it to stop. Need it to stop. I take a deep breath, readying myself, steadying myself. I can do this. I can ask him to come over for a drink or to hang out. It's no big deal.
"Jagger?"
He doesn't answer with words. Instead his dark eyes lock on mine and his gaze pierces me.
"Thanks." I drop my eyes because his stare is deep and all knowing. It's intense, like him.
Jagger steps closer to me. His pointer finger traces down the side of my cheek and along my jaw. When he gets to my chin, he presses down and my mouth opens slightly. It's enough for his eyes to darken and glaze over as they drop to my lips. Enough for me to suck in an audible breath, needing to fill my body with oxygen so I don't pass out from his touch.
Jagger dips his head down and his mouth meets mine. I moan as his tongue sweeps over mine. My arms wrap around his neck and the kiss changes, evolves into something hungry and demanding. His mouth is no match for me, it explores and demands my total submission. I give in and let go. I have no reason to fight.
This is Heaven. It has to be, because I can't imagine anything better. This moment is the definition of perfect happiness.
"Jagger," his name slips from my lips.
"Shh." His mouth moves to my ear as he places his hand on my chest. "Close your eyes, Allie."
I do as I'm told because I'm afraid if I don't, he'll back away and this manic feeling will be lost forever.
"Forget everything and everyone except you and me. Right here. Right now."
I bite my lip and nod.
His free arm snakes around my waist, holding me tight.
I feel his warm breath next to my ear, and it's sending pulses of desire through my body. "This feels right, doesn't it?"
"Yes."
"Come home with me, Aleena. Spend the night with me."
My eyes open. He's looking at me with nervous expectation. My body thrums with the promise of what he'll do to it and the magnified sensa
tions I'm feeling with him right now. It doesn't matter that less than an hour ago, we were arguing about Bailey.
Bailey doesn't matter at all.
Only Jagger and me and whatever this is between us matters. This attraction. This connection that we shouldn't have but can't deny. Why fight the inevitable? If I give in, things will play out sooner rather than later, and we can move on.
One way or the other.
"Yes, Jagger. I'll come home with you."
Chapter 9
Jagger
I still can't believe she said yes. I let out a long breath as I start the engine and pull out of the pharmacy parking lot. I stopped to pick up an extra box of condoms, just in case we decide to extend the night into the whole weekend. I don't know what her schedule is, but if she's game, so am I. Hopefully we'll get to use the vibrating cock ring I got there too. Never noticed those in the condom aisle before.
Not the first time though.
I want our first time together to blow every other experience she's had out of the realm, but for other reasons. I want her to feel every touch, every sensation from her skin through to her heart with nothing between us. No barriers. No aids. If it's as spectacular as I expect it to be, I want her to realize it's because of whatever this growing thing is between us so she loses her doubts and inhibitions about me. About us.
But thereafter, whatever she's game for is fair play.
I dial her number once I'm back on the road. She answers on the first ring.
"Are you there yet?" I ask when I hear her voice.
"Almost."
"Where are you?"
"Beach Wood Boulevard."
She's about seven minutes from my apartment and five minutes ahead of me.
"Do you want me to undress you, or do you have a striptease planned?" I ask, hoping to give her mind a head start.
I listen to the silence, not sure she's going to answer. Whether she does or not will help me get a read on how invested she is. An answer means she's still in. Continued silence, she's teetering on backing out.
"I want you to do it."
She answered. Jackpot.
"How?" I lower my voice, hoping she finds it seductive. "Should I use my hands to rip your clothes off? Tie you up and use a sharp blade to slice them off your body? Or should I take my time, go achingly slow and make you beg for more?"
"Jagger!" I hear the disapproval in her voice.
"What? No one can hear us."
"Still. Besides, I don't want to tell you what to do. I want you to just know."
"Believe me, I know what to do." I chuckle. "Do you like when I talk to you like this?"
"A little."
"Tell me it isn't turning you on, knowing that I can't wait to fuck you. And that in a matter of minutes, I'm going to be inside of you."
"Maybe a little bit."
"This is no time to get shy, sunshine. I'm hard thinking about how warm and silky your pussy is going to feel wrapped around me." I hear a hitch in her breathing. "Tell me you want it, too, Allie. Tell me how bad you want me."
There's silence. Maybe I went too far?
"Having second thoughts?"
"No," her voice is firm, resolute.
"Nervous?"
"Yes."
"Don't be. It's going to be the best you’ve ever had. I promise." I step on the accelerator. I can't wait to get to her. My dick is already throbbing imagining it.
"Noooo!" she yells, threatening to burst my eardrum.
A loud piercing scream comes through the phone next. A scream ridden with fear and horror. The type of deep, guttural scream that forces its way out when you're face to face with your own demise. It's followed by a loud crash and crunching in the background.
My heart nosedives through the floor of my car and the asphalt beneath it. It drops down hard and heavy into blackness. Into nothingness. I'm numb, haunted by the scream I just heard until it morphs into the sounds of my brothers dying.
Not now. I can't deal with it now. Allie needs me. My lungs are tight as I struggle for air. This is no time for a fucking panic attack. I can't fucking breathe. I fight through the memories, sucking in deep gulps of air, and pound back the memories. Allie needs me! I remind myself. Allie fucking needs me.
"Allie!" I shout, snapping back to my senses. Nothing comes from her end. "Aleena, answer me right now!" Still no response.
I make a left on Beach Wood Boulevard and step on the gas. It's a windy road, but it's usually pretty empty. There's never much traffic on it regardless of the time of day. I don't care that the posted speed limit is twenty-five miles per hour, I'm doing ninety. I need to get to her.
"Allie, stay with me baby. I'll be right there. Just hold on to the sound of my voice."
I keep talking, calling her name, hoping that she'll answer. Hoping that she'll hear my voice and it will give her a reason to hang on, something to reach out for.
Time stops as my car screeches to a halt. I jump out with my phone in my hand and call for help before I even know how badly she's hurt. I can’t answer any of the dispatcher’s questions. All I know is the location of the accident and that there are injuries. Allie’s silence over the phone after her screaming tells me she's been knocked unconscious and needs medical help.
The cars are mangled, twisted. Smoke is rising up from the hood of the other car. I squeeze my eyes shut, collecting myself for a moment. The driver's side front end of Allie's car is smashed to bits, and the car turned sideways from the impact.
I glance at the other car, to peek at how bad the driver is hurt. So help me, I'll kill the fucker if she dies. No. I refuse to even consider it. Not Allie. God, please. Not Allie.
No one is in the other car. The son-of-a-bitch took off. It's a hit and run.
Allie's chest is rising and falling. She's alive. I give thanks and bang on the driver's side door to wake her. There's no reaction from her, none at all. I run around, smash the window on the passenger side, and unlock the door so I can get in the car. I slide into the seat and reach for her hand, hanging by her side.
"Come on, sunshine. Open those beautiful eyes." I squeeze her hand and keep talking.
No response. Blood streams down her face in multiple spots. It's from the airbag. I've heard they're like hitting a brick wall when you're thrown into them during impact. The left side of her face is already swollen. I fight the urge to move her. I know I'm not supposed to, that jarring her can make her injuries worse, but damn it, I'm here and help isn't.
As I convince myself we can't wait for help any longer, the whine of sirens breaks through my thoughts. The police, EMTs, and the fire department all arrive within a minute of each other, like they were all at the coffee shop together.
I scramble out of the car and give my report to the attending officers as the fire department works on separating the cars and getting Allie out. "No, I didn't see the accident, just heard it over the phone." "No, I didn't see the other driver before he bolted." "No, there's nothing more I can tell them."
Except someone slashed her tires a week ago.
I keep that tidbit of information to myself. I don't want to spend more time answering inane questions that won't do a thing but keep me from Allie's side. She needs me, and even if she doesn't, I need to be with her.
After answering every question at least three times, I step away from the scene and call my buddy Ox that's keeping an eye on Bailey.
I don't bother with pleasantries when he answers, I get straight to the point. "Where is he?"
"Right now?"
"No, yesterday. Yes, right now!"
"What the fuck crawled up your ass?"
"I don't have time." I growl. "Where is he?"
"Home. With his girl."
"Are you sure they're together?"
"Yep. She greeted him at the door about an hour ago."
"And there's no chance either of them could have slipped out even for a few minutes?" I know how sometimes what feels like five minutes is really twenty-five. And this isn
't official surveillance work. It's just a favor from one brother to another.
"No man. I've had eyes on him all day. By the way, when is this shit going to end?"
"I don't know." I give Ox a recap of what happened. He offers to leave his unofficial post and meet me at the hospital, but I decline his offer.
After I'm given Allie's personal belongings, her purse and phone, I follow the ambulance to the hospital. I don't know what to do. Should I call Mom and Vic? It's not like they can drive over. They can't even hop a plane and be here in an hour or two. And I have no fucking idea how bad her injuries are. None. So all I'll do at this point is frustrate them and make them worry. I'll reconsider when I have more information.
Once I arrive at the hospital, I give Allie's name and take a seat in the waiting area. It's a good thing I knew where to find her. I hate to think of what could've happened if I hadn’t been talking to her. Needing something to do, I look at the apps on her phone and go to settings.
I shouldn't change anything, but I ask myself again, how long would she have been there, unconscious without help, if I wasn't behind her? I feel like shit, but it's all the justification I need to change her settings. When I'm sure she's safe, I'll turn the notification back off. But for now, if I need to find her, I can.
After a few minutes, the receptionist in the ER sends me back to the holding area. Relief washes over me as I approach Allie's bed and see the gray of her eyes. They're open. She's awake.
"Hey, beautiful," I say, approaching the gurney.
Her eyes dart away from mine. She smoothes the sheet over her legs and reaches up to the dressing over her left eye.
"No worries, you look just as gorgeous as always."
"What are you doing here?" She's unable to hide the accusatory tone of her voice.
"Where else would I be?" I take her hand in mine and rub my thumb over her knuckles.
She pulls away and turns her head. "Oww."
I try not to read into her not wanting me to touch her, but everything between us feels off. Like she's mad at me. Maybe she blames me for the accident because I distracted her. She can't blame me more than I blame myself.
"What hurts?" I extend my hand toward her head, but she stops me again.
Man Up Stepbrother Page 9
