Man Up Stepbrother

by Danielle Sibarium

  "I hate thinking of you there. I'm so glad you made it home in one piece," Allie says, her words hugging my heart.

  "Me too, sunshine. Me too." I pull her close and kiss the top of her head.

  "I can't imagine being put in a situation where you have to kill people or they might kill you first."

  I hold my breath a moment, but I can't let that comment go. I need to know if she can see past the killer in me. Because like it or not, he's there. "Do I frighten you?"

  "Not in that way. I know you would never physically hurt me."

  "I don't want to hurt you. Ever. In any way."

  "I know you don't. It doesn't mean you won't though."

  I fucking hate that scumbag Bailey for the shit he put her though. For making her doubt everyone that comes after him. But I can't go off on that tangent just yet. She needs to understand why I did what I did. Why I'm so concerned for her safety.

  "I don't even know how it happened that we were assigned together, but Austin and I served in the same unit." My instinct is to pull away, to shrink from her touch. But I don't. I hold on tighter. I can get through this if I'm connected to her. "The one thing that made my father proud was my protective instinct when it came to women. He taught us to be gentlemen and hold doors so ladies go first. It was never about them being weaker, it was always about showing respect. So anytime I see a woman being hurt or abused, I can't help myself, I jump in without thinking about the consequences."

  "You and Austin fought over a girl?" she asks, looking confused.

  "No." I take a deep breath. "My squad was on patrol. Our mission: deliver food to the latest wave of refugees that escaped the violence of the Taliban. The first problem, they didn't trust us. The second problem, we didn't trust them.

  "On the way to the camp, we spotted an altercation. A man was beating a woman on the side of the road. Kicking her, punching her. He hit her so hard, she and the baby she held in her arms were knocked to the ground. I couldn't ignore the screams and cries coming from them. I couldn't turn a blind eye. My brothers told me to mind my fucking business, this was a cultural difference we had to ignore. But I couldn't. It was wrong. I couldn't leave her to fend for herself."

  "Oh, Jagger," her voice is tinged with sadness. "You were too late, weren't you?"

  I sit up and let go of Allie. I let go of my life preserver and hold my head in my hands, readying myself to drown on my emotions. Maybe if I let it out, maybe I can sleep and the screams will stop haunting my dreams. Allie rubs my back and kisses my shoulder as I continue.

  "I jumped out of the vehicle, forcing them to stop. Forcing them to step in where we had no business. The woman shouted hysterically through her cries. She got louder and more agitated the closer we got. I thought she was afraid her attacker would finish the job because we came to her aid. We didn't understand what she was screaming. The guys went to help her and the baby. I took off after the fucking coward that knocked her off her feet. Just before I got to him, I heard it. I heard the explosion. I felt it pick me up and throw me like a rag doll."

  "Oh my God!" I hear the emotion caught in her throat.

  "I woke up in the base hospital with some broken ribs and a few lacerations. Everyone else was dead. Including Austin. And the thing is, it was for nothing. The fucker blew the woman up. He used her as the explosive. I don't even know if the baby was real or a decoy. All I know is the bodies of my friends, my brothers, were ripped to pieces because of me. Because I had to go save a woman on the side of the road. A woman that was used to kill my unit."

  "It's not your fault." She rubs my shoulders then wraps her arms around me tight.

  "That's debatable. I mean Austin wouldn't even have been there if it wasn't for me."

  "You don't know that for sure," she trails soft, sweet kisses along my collarbone. "You can't blame yourself."

  "But I do. And I always will." I reach for her hand and pull her onto my lap. My chest swells as I look at her. She's so beautiful. Just staring into her gray eyes grounds me. I hold her face in my hands and brush my thumbs across her soft skin.

  "One thing I know for certain is whether I like it or not, you're family now, and I'd never let anyone hurt you. I'd never forgive myself if something happened that I could've prevented. And you won't even consider Bailey could be behind the tires. It drives me fucking crazy. So I crossed lines and overstepped my boundaries. But I swear it came from a good place. I did it because I care."

  "I know." She pulls one of my hands to her mouth and kisses my palm.

  "I trust Ox with my life, Allie. After that incident, I had a death wish and always found myself in a ditch full of trouble. Ox saved my ass more times than I care to remember. More times than I can count. When we found your tires slashed, I immediately thought of him and his new business. The caveat was that he himself watch you when I can't be with you."

  Allie looks away. There's something about this still eating at her.

  "What's wrong?"

  She shrugs. "I don't know. It's just how closely does he watch me? Does he see me naked?"

  "Oh, baby, no. Of course not. He just keeps tabs on the house and makes sure no one tries to get in, or leave anything suspicious. Just shit like that."

  "Yeah well, he missed one hell of a gift the other day.”

  "He didn't miss it. He wasn't here because I was with you. When I'm here, I don't need anyone else because I'll take a bullet, I'll do whatever the hell I have to for you."

  Allie throws her leg over my lap and straddles me. I bury my head in her breasts for a few long moments and hold her tight, feeling her heart beat in unison with mine.

  "The thing you need to understand is, if I lost so much for a stranger, for a woman that never had a shot at happiness, do you have any idea what I'd do for you? There's nothing, no lengths I wouldn't go to in order to protect you."

  She looks at me, awed, before her soft, warm lips crush my mouth. This isn't a break up kiss, or even a make-up kiss. This is an I-feel-you-deep-down-in-my-soul-kiss. This is a you’re-my-everything kiss. Even if neither of us are ready to say those words, I think it's clear we both feel them.

  I wait for her to get her fill of me and break away, because lord knows, I'll never get my fill of her. Eventually she does. She keeps her hands clasped behind my neck, but there's air between our lips.

  "I met with Ox tonight."

  "And?" She runs a hand over my hair, and I swear I can feel the depth of her emotions in her touch.

  "We ran into Austin's older brother Declan."

  "That must have been awkward."

  "I guess. The guy seems to have lost his grip. He's going through a divorce. Turns out he married Austin's high school sweetheart while we were away. When I looked into his eyes, I saw emptiness. The kind of emptiness you have when you let yourself sink into a black, never-ending ocean of loss, and it scared the hell out of me because I recognized that look. It's the look I saw in my eyes before I came home. Before I met you."

  Allie's breaths are coming faster. Deeper. Still straddling me, her hand reaches down and touches me through my boxers.

  "What are you doing?" I whisper. "Distracting me with sex?"

  "Yes. I want you to forget everything but me right now." She ends her declaration with a long, deep kiss as she strokes my cock.

  "Allie." I say through ragged breath. "There's more."

  "Shh." With her free hand, she places her pointer finger over my lips. "Just focus on me. On how I make you feel. Because I've never felt more connected to anyone in my life. And right now I need you. I need you inside me."

  I grip her hips, and my fingers bite into her skin as she rubs her pussy against me. I feel her sweet dampness through the thin material of my boxers. And it's not enough. I need to be closer. Touch her deeper.

  "It might help if I get out of these," I tease.

  "Just lie back and look pretty," she commands, pushing my chest down.

  I do as I'm told. Folding my arms behind my head, I allow her to take th
e lead. Finally, Allie's hands reach for the waistband of my boxers. I lift my hips, allowing her to remove them.

  Lying naked on her bed, I enjoy the approving look in her eyes as they rake over me from the top of my head to the top of my other head. There's heat and hunger in the salacious look on her face as she pulls her shirt over her head.

  "Thought you might like the view," she teases.

  The confident, sassy woman that dazzled me when we met is shining through. I don't see any sign of the uncertainty or insecurity Bailey left in his wake. I know the decision I made tonight is the right one. I just need to discuss it with her, because that's what couples do. They share in the decision-making process.

  "You're right. I love looking at that hot rack of yours."

  After rolling a condom on, Allie straddles me again. She positions herself so that she's hovering directly over me, taking her time lowering herself down on my rock-hard shaft. I moan with pleasure when I'm completely submerged inside her. I love the way her pussy feels. Her walls clench and hug me tight, then release, intensifying the whole experience.

  Allie teases me with her slow, languid movements, up down, up down, then back and forth. I let her play, enjoying being deep inside her. Deeper than I've ever been. Literally. Figuratively. I relinquish full control and let her have her way with me.

  Her skin is damp with sweat when she finally reaches her climax. That's when I take over, holding her hips tight as I pump in and out from beneath her. Once her orgasm subsides, it leads almost immediately into another. Knowing she's satisfied, at least for the moment, I allow my release to overtake me.

  Allie collapses on my chest, and I swear if we could stay like this forever, I'd go without food or water and die a happy man never moving from this spot. I stroke her hair while I catch my breath. My eyelids are heavy with sleep.

  "Allie," I whisper. She barely moves and I wonder if she's drifted off already. If she did, it only makes what I have to say easier. If she didn't, she'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt what just happened between us, everything that's happened between us, is real. It always has been.

  "You matter to me, Aleena. You matter more than any woman ever did, and I don't ever want to lose you."

  Chapter 18

  Allie

  I'm preoccupied. All day. Every day. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, my mind drifts to Jagger. To his sexy smile. His perfectly chiseled body. The mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

  I start the engine of the rented Camaro, my interim car, until I can decide what I want and buy a new one. Now that Dad and Beverly are home, I can't use their cars whenever I please, so Jagger convinced me to rent one, and then he promised to take me car shopping this weekend.

  I have to stop myself from jumping up in the air as I leave the bed and breakfast. Even with thoughts of Jagger threatening to derail me at every moment, I did it! I nailed the second meeting with Carmine Salvatore, and now I can't stop smiling. As excited as I am about this, I know the real reason I can't wipe the smile off my face. Tonight Jagger and I are going to "out" ourselves.

  I reach for my phone before I pull away and dial Jagger's number.

  "Hey sunshine, how'd it go?"

  "Amazing!" I answer. "Not only is Mr. Salvatore hiring me to renovate the look of this bed and breakfast, he loved my ideas so much, he said he wants me to update his three other bed and breakfasts as well."

  "Congratulations. I knew you'd do it. You know what that means, don't you?"

  "What?"

  "We have a lot to celebrate tonight."

  My stomach tumbles at the mention of tonight. It's a funny feeling of anticipation and excitement bunched up together.

  "Jagger."

  "Yes, beautiful."

  The sizzle that surrounds us when we're together shoots through the airwaves and into my phone. I want to say something to express what I'm feeling for him right now, the excitement, the contentment. But I can't. The words don't come. They evade me.

  The silence between us stretches and branches out, growing like Jack's magic beanstalk. Still I'm silent. I don't know if he can sense how awkward I feel as a result. I need to say something. Anything.

  "I can't wait until everyone knows."

  "Me either, but it's the afterparty with you that I'm most looking forward to."

  My body tingles at his words with the memory of his touch, of his body pressed against mine. Each night Jagger waits until the house is quiet and sneaks into my bedroom. The other night, Beverly came knocking on my door to make sure everything was okay. I hid Jagger in my closet as she explained that a strange noise woke her and led her to my room.

  With sweat beading my brow, I claimed I had a nightmare and the screaming woke me up.

  "Wait until my mother realizes that "noise" she heard was me making you squeal," Jagger teased when we heard her bedroom door close.

  I hated lying to her, but we weren't ready to confess. At least I wasn't ready, especially not with Jagger still hot and hard in his post-sex glory. I think Bev would've screamed, alerting my father. Stepson or not, Dad would've kicked Jagger out of the house right then and there in nothing but his birthday suit.

  "Are you nervous?" I ask.

  "No reason to be. We're adults. What can they do to us? Take away our cars? We own them, they don't. Send us to our rooms?"

  "They can tell you to leave."

  "Yeah, and? Did you forget my apartment is fine? I can go back anytime I want. Then you can come stay with me. They have nothing to say about what happens there. We can eat breakfast then bang on the kitchen table if we want, and no one can say shit but you and me."

  He's right. I know he is. "I'm still not sure this is the right thing."

  Things are easy without anyone knowing. Once they know, everything between us is going to get a whole lot more complicated. But he's worth whatever trouble follows. That much I know.

  "Allie," his voice drops. "I can't wait until later."

  *

  "You know, I've never seen my son happier," Beverly says as we set the table.

  "That's good," I answer as nonchalantly as I can. The truth is I want to hear whatever Jagger's mother has to say about him. I hate knowing I have the one person that knows everything about him right here at my disposal, completely unguarded, and yet I can't ask too many questions without raising an eyebrow.

  "He's definitely been hit by the bug."

  "What bug?" I ask, nervous that he might be coming down with something.

  "The love bug," she clarifies with a smile.

  Oh. I feel my face heat up. Shit, it's not just my face. My whole body feels like it just caught fire. Did she say that because she knows? Because she suspects?

  "I'm sure that's happened often enough through the years," I say, feigning casual conversation. "He's probably always had girls falling at his feet."

  "Actually, you'd be surprised. Yes, many girls passed through our doors." Great, just the visual I need. "I could tell they were very taken with him. But I never saw any real interest on his side. At least none that lasted for more than a few weeks. But I can tell this girl is different."

  "Maybe you should wait until you see how he interacts with her." I clear my throat, hating that I'm lying, that I'm not admitting it's me. "You know, before you make any conclusions."

  "I don't have to. Some things a mother just knows." I nod in response, hoping beyond hope that she's right. "Oh, Aleena."

  "Yes, Bev?" I hold my breath. This is it. The moment she's going to confront me about being Jagger's mystery girl, about having sex with him in the room across from hers every night this week. Shit, shit, shit. Okay, I can do this. Sure, I'd prefer to be holding his hand while his mother laces into me, but it's okay. I'll face the music by myself. I want to let it out already.

  "My son isn't the only one that deserves some happiness around here." I swallow hard. She knows. That comment confirms that she knows. "You deserve to get your own special dose of it as well."

  "Thanks," I s
ay, holding my breath, waiting for what comes next.

  Beverly looks me up and down. Wonderful, just wonderful. Now she's sizing me up. Judging whether or not I look good enough to be seen with her son.

  "By the way, that dress looks stunning on you."

  "Thank you," I answer, mildly relieved.

  "I'm sure he'll love it."

  "Excuse me?" My heart stops, and her smile widens.

  "I'm sure he'll love it," Beverly repeats at the same time the doorbell rings. I don't know if I was just saved by the bell or if it signaled the firing squad to raise their guns.

  "I'll get the door, dear. You get your father, he's out back watering a new tree he planted today."

  Planting trees, huh? That's good. He always found yard work to do when his pressure was up. Having a calm, level-headed father find out about Jagger and me is much better than an uptight, strung-out Dad. Maybe that's the reason he planted the tree to begin with. Because Beverly shared her suspicions with him.

  "Hey, Dad," I say, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Time to come in."

  "Fine," he growls, sounding annoyed that I disturbed him. "I'll be right there."

  "Okay," I answer, feeling like I was just dismissed.

  "Aleena."

  I look back.

  "You look radiant."

  "Thank you." I smile in response. I've worn this dress a handful of times since living with them. Never once did they comment on how I looked in it. It's not how I'm dressed on the outside that's capturing everyone's attention. It's a reflection of how I feel on the inside.

  I flit back into the house, walking on air. I can't wait to see Jagger and throw myself in his arms. Maybe that's how we'll let them know. I greet him with a great big hug and kiss.

  With my eyes downcast, the corners of my lips curl up into a smile, anticipating the moment our eyes meet and the fireworks explode. I hear multiple voices coming from the living room and my stomach tightens. It sounds like...it can't be. I take in the small crowd and my smile vanishes. My shoulders slump and I want to throw up. The good feeling is gone.

  Clenching my jaw, I stomp over to the small gaggle of guests, barely acknowledging Troy and Marlena. Thank goodness Mia is nowhere in sight, this way she can't deter me. I reach out and grab the other man in the room by the wrist.