“And what was it that you thought about?” His tone was easy and Lindy took a chance and looked at him again.
“Well you know, where you were, the weather.” Lindy grasped for casual comments but knew her words rang hollow. His intention was clear and Lindy found the desire in his eyes both arousing and frightening.
“Did you perhaps think about this?” His mouth covered hers and he kissed her deeply.
Pulling back, he looked at her again. Lindy knew she was an open book. All she said was “Yes.”
Tom’s mouth came down on hers again with a ferocity of need that took Lindy’s breath away. His tongue thrust into her mouth hard and deep, almost choking her. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. The hard lip of the kitchen sink cut into her back as he pushed against her. The length of him pressed through the tight denim and against her sundress.
The letters, his distance, her need—Lindy wasn’t sure what was causing this strong desire and wanton behavior but she could not hold back. Uncharacteristically she threw caution to the wind and let herself sink into his embrace.
Tom took Lindy’s hand and led her to the staircase. Pausing at the bottom, he allowed her the courtesy to make the choice whether to go upstairs with him or not. Lindy wanted to explain that she wasn’t easy, she wanted to ask what it all meant—but more than she wanted her insecurities squashed she wanted Tom. Now.
Smiling tremulously, she turned and walked up the stairs. The lace curtains were blowing in the breeze as the glow of twilight settled in the quiet of her bedroom. It seemed that magic was floating in the air and Lindy closed her eyes, feeling the energy of their desire dance across her skin.
Tom stood behind her, their bodies barely touching. As he slowly lowered the zipper of her dress, Lindy began to tremble. She wanted to feel awkward and wanted to question her motives but as the tips of his fingers ran down the length of her spine all she knew was that she wanted him.
Tom pushed the dress from her shoulders and it dropped to the floor, pooling around her bare feet. Lindy wondered briefly if she had bothered with matching underwear—she couldn’t remember. She hoped he wasn’t disappointed. She took care of herself but her hips were proportionately as full as her breasts and she hoped he didn’t think her fat.
“My God, Lindy, you are magnificent,” he whispered with a sigh. “A real woman.”
“That means chubby, right?”
“No, that means delicious. A man likes to feel the softness of a woman. It is part of the appeal.”
Tom peeled the underwear over her hips and slid it down her clenched thighs until it met her dress on the floor. Next, he unfastened her bra and it joined the clothes on the floor. Dropping to his knees, he bit at the soft, rounded cheek of her bottom, quickly following with his tongue to ease the sting.
Lindy whimpered softly as he slid his hands between her legs and opened her. His tongue headed straight to the opening of her core and delved inside for a taste. Prodding, he tasted her sweetness.
Lindy could feel the pressure building as the pointed tip pressed at her G-spot and her legs started to shake. She had never wanted anything more than she wanted this moment and she shuddered.
Tom gripped her thighs tightly and pulled them farther apart. His thumb found her clit and slid gently across the hard nub as he pushed two fingers inside her. Lindy was moaning now, the release pushing at her.
She struggled to hold on to some semblance of control but when Tom pressed on the sensitive bundle of nerves Lindy fell over the edge, the sweet flood of her ecstasy running through his fingers.
Shuddering and weak, she held on to his head for support. Tom sucked on her mound and then looked up at her. “Mmm, delicious.”
He stood and Lindy was glad he put his arms around her for support. As he kissed her she could taste her essence in his mouth and it aroused her even more.
Like an animal in heat she clawed at his shirt, raising it over his head and tossing it to the floor. Reaching for his jeans, she popped open the snap and lowered the zipper, careful of the bulge from his obvious erection.
Pushing the jeans from his hips, she was somehow not surprised to find that he wore no underwear. His cock sprang free and Lindy could not stop herself from dropping to her knees. She had to taste him.
Tentatively she licked at the rim of skin covering the head of him. Pushing it back with her tongue, she took the tip into her mouth and sucked gently. The drop of moisture was smooth and slippery on her tongue and they moaned simultaneously. He tasted of the sea—warm and salty, a bit tangy and very dangerous.
Lindy explored him with her tongue, cupping his balls to feel the weight of them in her hand. She squeezed gently while allowing his length to slide deeper into her throat.
Tom’s hands were in her hair, not pushing or forcing her movement. It was though he just enjoyed the softness of it against his fingertips. His hips began to move ever so slightly and Lindy took her task to heart, wanting to give him as much pleasure as she had just received.
Tom looped his arm beneath hers and lifted her to her feet.
“This will be over before it begins if you don’t stop.” He smiled but his voice quivered as he tried to control his need.
Lindy attempted to smile in return but her desire was pushing hard and she was struggling with the break in the action. Tom pushed her back onto the bed and crawled in beside her, propping himself on one elbow, looking at her. Lindy was embarrassed by his close scrutiny. Their eyes met and the fear disappeared when she saw his desire for her shining brightly within them.
“Lindy, you are stunning.”
Lindy smiled a little half-smile as she rolled her eyes and giggled.
Tom took her lips with his. Kissing her, he covered her with his body and rested his weight on top of her. Lindy wrapped her arms around his shoulders and twisted her legs around his calves, pulling him closer.
What is it about this man? I am so comfortable with him and we barely know each other.
Lindy’s inner dialogue flew out of her worried mind when Tom began to kiss her neck. His lips trailed over the sensitive column, making the goose bumps rise on her skin. As he dragged the tip of his tongue over her collarbone to the top of her breast, Lindy arched her back and whimpered softly.
Tom closed his lips around her stiff nipple and kissed it gently. He opened his mouth and suckled hard. Lindy’s need rose. Drawing back until his lips closed around the tight peak, he caught the sensitive tip between his teeth and slid them back and forth.
Lindy’s hips were bucking now as her body pushed up hard against him. His cock rested between the wet lips of her cunt and she ground her clit into his stiff shaft. Tom chuckled softly as his mouth followed the trail down her tummy, pausing to dip his tongue in her navel.
He continued his path until he had settled himself between her thighs. He stroked her mound softly, letting his fingers slide back up to spread her lips wide. The hard pink nub of her clit seemed to be waiting for his touch and the friction of his movement was sending her to the edge. Gazing down at him, she saw him looking at her pussy with more than intent. He appeared to be in awe of her cunt. Lindy would have blushed but it seemed a little late to be embarrassed.
He looked up at her with a slightly wicked smile and Lindy groaned with need. He took her labia into his mouth and sucked at it. Lindy thought she had never felt anything so wonderful in her life until his lips closed around her clit and tugged at it.
Pushing her hips up, she levered her cunt against his face. She was going for it. Not that she could have stopped it but denial was not going to enter this equation. Lindy, take it. Just take it!
Tom slid two fingers into her cunt and pressed hard at her sweet spot. She lost the ability to think at all as her body gave over to the sensations. She could hear someone screaming and wondered briefly if it might be she. She let it all go, her wet release drenching Tom’s chin and chest. Laughing with delight, she watched as he licked and lapped at each delicious drop.
Lindy reached for Tom and embraced him. He tensed and she forced herself to remain quiet.
“Lindy, that was incredible. Thank you.”
“It was my pleasure really.” Lindy giggled like a schoolgirl and clamped her legs together as the aftershocks flowed through her.
“I really need to go though.”
“Go? Go where? You just arrived and I thought…” She reached for his softening cock.
“I know. I am sorry. I forgot I have some obligations tomorrow early. A rain check, perhaps?”
“Okay, sure.” Lindy might be paranoid thinking he had gotten what he came for and once he had it they were done. But he hadn’t had what he’d come for. He hadn’t come at all.
“I’ll only be home a couple of days but I will stop by again tomorrow evening if that’s okay?”
“All right, if you can.” Lindy was a bit confused by his sudden change of heart.
“I mean if you’re free? I’ll bring some Chinese food and we will sit on the porch and read some more letters. What do you think?” He seemed to be trying to bring some lightness into their conversation.
“Sounds great. I’ll see you out.” She watched him pull the close-fitting denim over his muscular thighs.
“No. I like thinking about you naked in that big bed. Stay where you are.” Tom leaned down and kissed her warmly. Looking at her, he smiled and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
“See you, Lindy.”
Unable to hide her disappointment, she sighed heavily before planting a fake smile on her lips.
“See you, Tom.”
Tom talked to himself all the way back down the beach until he reached his house. What the hell is the matter with me? I have a gorgeous woman offering herself to me and I can’t follow through? Come on, man!
Not a great time for performance anxiety but Tom knew it was more than that. It wasn’t an equipment problem. He wasn’t about to admit it even to himself but he knew that being with Lindy was about more than having sex. He barely knew her but he knew enough to know that there was something different about her. Something that threatened his freedom. And if he was to give himself to her, he had better be prepared to accept what she offered.
He wanted her but for some reason all he could think about was how much pleasure he could give her. That was his release. He had taken so many times in the past but now he found pleasure in giving. Dear Lord, Tom! You sound like an idiot. Just fuck her and be done with it.
Standing on the beach, he saw the light still shining in Lindy’s bedroom and held tightly to his resolve to stop him from heading back to her place. He knew she would let him back in. He knew she would give herself to him but he was not ready for the enormity of her gift and he knew that too.
Heading inside, he took a long, cool shower. Lying in the darkness, he let the memory of the sweet flood of her release push him over the edge as he stroked himself to orgasm.
Chapter Five
Lindy woke with the dawn and tried to fall into her regular routine. Every time thoughts of the night before crept into her mind she shivered and tried to push them aside. He probably just didn’t like her—she was an American, after all. Maybe she was too full-figured or not pretty enough? Perhaps it was her goofy romantic notions that he disdained? Or maybe she should have warned him ahead of time about her—wet releases.
What the hell, Lindy? Come on, you are not going there. You have a lot to offer and do not need a man to make you feel worthy. Still, as the day faded to gold she carefully shaved her legs in the shower. Choosing a simple fitted sundress, she left her feet bare, trying to appear casual. He probably wasn’t coming anyway.
Taking her laptop and some letters to the porch, she set to work on the story of Emmaline and Benjamin. Because Lindy was lost in their words, Tom startled her as he set the bags of food on the table.
Hitting Save, Lindy struggled to push the sadness of the letters from her mind before greeting Tom.
“Well a fake smile is better than no smile.” He looked nervous. “Perhaps I should go?”
“No, Tom, it’s just the letters. They get to me sometimes.”
“You’re a bit of a sap you know.”
“I know.”
“May I have a look then?”
Lindy looked at the grease staining the brown paper sack that held their dinner.
“My hands are clean. Would you like me to wear gloves?”
“No, it’s okay.” She handed him the faded page.
My Darling Love,
I too long for the day when you will become my wife. To wake beside you every morning and drift to sleep with you in my arms every night is all that I need to be happy. This shall be my last voyage at sea. When I return I will seek work closer to home. Perhaps I will build ships. I am good with my hands and it would bring me great joy to craft these beautiful pieces of moving poetry. You are never far from my thoughts, my darling. Hold me close inside your heart until soon when you are able to hold me in your arms.
Yours eternally,
Benjamin
Tom carefully folded the letter and looked at Lindy. She handed him Emmaline’s reply.
My Sweet Benjamin,
I think of you constantly and fill the empty places inside me with hope. I believe that we are meant to be together and no one can take that from me. Without hope I would have nothing left inside, so great is the aching loss of your departure. I can still taste the sweetness of your kiss. The sweet smell of the lavender that you brought me fills my senses. It is drying from the post of my bed. Each night as I lie there dreaming of you, I can smell the scent of your love for me.
My darling, I love you more than life itself and wish nothing more than for us to be together but you cannot give up the sea. It is your dream, your life—your commitment. You say that you will be happy but you will grow to resent me for taking you from your first love. You forget that my own father is a captain like you. I have some basis for this statement. I am not a martyr nor do I feel very noble at this moment but I do love you and therefore wish for nothing more than your complete happiness in this life.
With all that I am,
Your Emmaline
Tom walked to the rail and looked out to sea. Lindy was pleased that he was emotionally connected enough to feel the sentiments the letters carried.
“Lindy, I am sorry about last night.”
“Tom, not a big deal—really.”
“It is a big deal, Lindy. That is why I had to leave. I don’t know if it is these letters or your incredibly gorgeous body or just your romance-writer sensibility that has me feeling a bit sappy myself.”
“Sappy is always good in my book.”
“Why does that not surprise me?” His warm laughter was genuine. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m starving, as a matter of fact.”
They sat companionably, eating the takeout and talking about everything. They overstepped each other’s words, not because they couldn’t wait for their own turn to talk but because they couldn’t wait to share the next thought.
The sunset was magnificent and they sat on the glider sipping the lychee liqueur Tom had brought with dinner. He took Lindy’s hand and they enjoyed an easy silence.
“I should get going. Early call in the morning.”
“Again? You do keep busy.”
“Headed back out tomorrow. Spain again.” He rose from the bench and pulled Lindy up beside him. “I’ll be gone about three weeks this time.”
“Oh well.” Lindy searched for words that might make him stay just a bit longer. “Safe journey then.”
“I would like to see you when I return. Perhaps we could go out to dinner? Civilized adult conversation and all that. I could attempt to impress you with my smooth, debonair manner.”
“You don’t have to try to impress me, Tom. I like you just fine the way you are. I’ll look forward to your return.” Lindy hoped that wasn’t too cloying. For God’s sakes, girl, you’ve had your his cock in your mouth. It
’s okay to say you like him.
“If you miss me you could always write me a letter like your Aunt Emmaline did.”
Lindy smiled at the thought. “I just may do that.”
They walked down the steps to the beach and stood in the soft sand, watching the moon rise into the sky. Lindy checked his profile for signs of discomfort. Tom turned, sighing softly as he gazed at her.
His lips were tender as they touched hers in a sweet kiss. Lindy swore she felt the impression of a crack forming on her almost-healed heart. She could almost sense his tug-of-war between holding on and letting go and she let him lead. Pulling back, he stroked the side of her cheek and pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. It seemed that was what he did when he didn’t have the words.
“See you, Lindy.”
“See you, Tom.”
The wind whipped her dress around her ankles. Lindy stood in the sand for a long time, waiting for the universe to tell her that it was all going to be okay. She missed Tom most just after he left her. She missed the feeling of his warmth, the laughter and shared conversation, the simple companionship of someone wanting nothing more than she could give.
She watched Tom’s silhouette against the moonlit sand as he became smaller and smaller, heading down the beach to his own place. When he was out to sea for weeks at a time at least she knew he could not be with her and it was okay. She had no choice. A break from the emotions that being with him was beginning to stir in her when he was home.
What is wrong me with me? I barely know the man and how many times have I actually seen him? It seemed she had known him forever. She was grateful for the generosity of his attention when he was here but still it was not enough. Why is it never enough?
Lindy knew she was in trouble. She wanted Tom—all of him. And why? Was it because he was out of reach? Because she knew he was a free spirit and not ready to commit to anyone or anything?
Ironically it gave Lindy the freedom to love him completely. She did not have to fear rejection because she had set her sights on impossibility. She knew she could not have him all to herself. He had made that very clear. There were others, would probably always be others, he had said. At least he was honest. Then there were the times he was gone. He’d be gone sometimes for a month or more. So what—she didn’t need him taking up all her free time.
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