Healed

by Delisa Lynn

  I’ve been attending the University a little over a year now. It’s been a crazy year. Mal, Cara, and I moved from our dorms and got a small apartment. I received an internship plus, I’m still working at the café. I still talk to Blake, here and there, mainly when we’re both looking for a good fuck. My nights are spent with a bottle and some random hook up, no more crying. I’ve put all of Seth’s things, including pictures, in a box and shipped them to my parents’ house. I don’t need it all here.

  Today I’m meeting up with a guy that Mal set me up with. She swears he’s hot as hell. I guess I’ll see soon enough. Cara and I are sitting at Zeb’s, which is a local bar. I see this tall, tan, southern boy walk in. He takes the stage as soon as he opens his mouths and starts singing, I get goose pimples in areas I didn’t know I could. I watch as he picks at his guitar and sings the lyrics of Rascal Flatts’ “Life is a Highway.” I watch every move he makes.

  I realize I’ve seen him at the café. And I know for a fact he isn’t from here. Looking around for the guy I was supposed to be meeting here. Not seeing him, I keep my focus on the sexy stranger that just gave me chills with his voice. After he walks off stage, I was praying he approached us. And he and his friend did.

  “Hey,” I say as I smile.

  “Hey, y’all. I’m Evan Martin and you are?” he asks.

  “Alyssa… Alyssa Sommers.” I smile. “You’re not the guy I was to meet are you? My friend was setting me up on a blind date.”

  “Nope, not that I’m aware of. But I’m glad it was me instead of him.” He laughs.

  After he introduces himself to me and asks if I want to get better acquainted, I take him back to the back of the bar. I can’t help but feel attracted to him. Kissing him then pushing him against the wall, I start making my move. I’ve learned to give pretty good head in the last year, and Blake swears I’m the best.

  Pulling Evan’s pants down, his cock springs forward. I take him in my mouth slowly. Massaging his balls with one hand, I take the other and place it on his hand that’s on the back of my head leading him to push my head further into his body. He catches on and does just that. I can feel his balls tighten and his grip gets harder, then I feel him fill my mouth.

  Swallowing every drop, I release his dick with a plop. Smiling at him, I ask him if he wants to get out of here. He agrees as we leave, I see Cara is still with Evans friend. Then I see the guy she was hooking me up with.

  Oopsie. Sorry, babe, I snagged me a cowboy.

  “I don’t get it. You know she’ll hurt you the way they all have. I’m the only one that has always been here for you. Look at what Lila did and now you’ve gone and slept with her again. Why do you let them do you like this Evan?” I ask as I wait for his response.

  “Sweetie, you and I’ve always been just friends. That’s it. You knew that we would never make a life together. Tatum and I belong together. So please just stop calling. I’m sorry, I wish you nothing but the best.”

  “Wait…please,” I whisper. “I love you, I always have. You know, I’ve never told anyone that since Se… In years,” I say, hugging myself.

  “Come on, don’t do this. I have to go, but please, please take care. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” with that, the phone call ends.

  I fall back on my bed, the bed that not even two months ago, Evan was fucking me senseless in. As I lie there, in a fetal position hugging myself, wondering what did I ever do to deserve not to be happy? I cry for what seemed like hours. When I wake up, it’s still dark outside. I look at the clock and it’s only two in the morning. I place my hands on my mattress and push myself up. Walking into the bathroom, I flip the light on and see that my face is swollen, and there are black lines down my cheeks. Grabbing a washcloth, I turn the water on and place the rag under the warm water.

  As I wash my face, I realize I didn’t have lunch or dinner. I throw the washcloth in the hamper and walk down to the kitchen. My cat, Softie, following me, he must’ve forgot to eat also. I decide to make a tuna on toast sandwich, spooning half the can of tuna in a bowl and the remainder in Softies dish. I mix mine with a little olive oil and mayo. Then I spread it on a small piece of French bread.

  As I take a bite, I pick up my phone and I see that I have a few texts. One is from my sister, asking if I want to go on vacation in June and the other is from my best friend, trying to hook me up with someone.

  Story of my life—always fucking the random guy and never getting anything in return. Seth’s death then the rape changed my entire world—the world I feel like I’m walking alone in. “Why, Seth, why? Why did you go out that night? Why did you get on that motorcycle? We were going to spend our lives together,” I cry out, throwing my sandwich at my kitchen wall. “I fucking loved you. You promised me, we had plans, Seth. I can’t take this shit, I’m not the same person anymore,” I scream realizing that I’m screaming and crying at the air. I pick up the sandwich and toss it in the trash.

  This is not the life I thought it would be. I’ll never find my one, because one died and the other one is marrying some country bumpkin.

  Walking into my office, I knew my assistant and best friend would be there for support. I open my door, and I see that she already has my coffee and has sat an extra box of tissue next to it. Sitting down, I pull my phone out, hoping that I’d get a call from Evan saying that the country chick dumped him already. But there were no missed calls or texts. Throwing the phone back into my purse, I see Mal standing at the door.

  “This can’t be happening, Mal, what the hell have I done? He is really marrying her, he told me he wants nothing to do with me, and that it was fun while it lasted but it’s over… For good.”

  “Fuck him, you deserve so much better than his country ass anyways,” she says, crossing her arms. “You know, Mark’s friend is still looking for a date for the benefit this weekend,” she says as her eyes get as big as marbles.

  “No, I’m not hooking up with him. He is what like eighty?” I laugh. I know he is actually about forty.

  “No.” She slaps my arm. “He is thirty nine. And he is a real fucking man, Alyssa.”

  “No, thanks! I’ll stick to my rubber toys and my fingers.” I laugh.

  “Please, you’ll be wanting the real thing soon enough. Just go out with him, you don’t have to have sex with him. Give him a chance. He just went through a bad divorce and he needs a fresh start.”

  “Ugh… You do know that I hate you right?” I sigh. “Only because you’ve done shit for me and you are my best friend,” I say as plop down at my desk.

  “Pfft. Bitch, I’m your only friend.” She giggle snorts.

  “I do believe you are correct. I need to settle this case. Can you go to court with me today?” I ask as, I look over the file laying on my desk. This case has had my attention for months. My client is only sixteen, and she’s been living on her own since she was thirteen. Both her parents died, and she has done everything she could to support herself, including selling drugs. I feel so sorry for her and actually took the case on for free. After reading all of the documents and seeing how broken she was, where she came from, and what she was doing, broke my heart.

  “Yeah, is it for the young girl?” she asks as she opens her water bottle.

  “Yes, it is. I hope the judge lets her off. She has been through so much. I set up the interviews for her. I also spoke to the manager of a few of the places. The sucky thing is they all know her background.”

  “Damn, poor girl. Maybe they’ll still give her a chance.”

  “I hope so. Alright, let’s do this. Give me wrinkled dicks number, I’ll meet him. But I. Am. Not. Fucking him.” I laugh.

  “Come on, don’t be so judgmental. You may go out with him and fall deeply in love with him.”

  “Yeah, babe, I don’t think that’ll happen.”

  “He’s a good man. Just give him a shot.”

  “I told you, I would. What do you want me to say that I’m going to fuck him and marry him?” I laugh.

&n
bsp; My name is Heath Mason, and I’m one of the largest realtors in North Carolina. My life has been one big roller coaster since I was nineteen. I finally settled down with a good girl, I’m on my way home to surprise her. I’ve decided that we need a little vacation, because she and I have been working so hard. We need a little get away. Pulling into my driveway, I see a familiar car. Grabbing the dozen of roses, I walk into the house.

  “Jessika?” I yell, but still all I hear is music coming from the media room. Loosening my tie, I place the flowers and my keys on the kitchen counter. The smell of cigarette smoke engulfs my nostrils. I know something isn’t right.

  My fist tightens at my side as I get closer to the door leading to the voices. “What the fuck?” I yell.

  “Oh, he was just leaving.” She says, running towards me as I see a shadow running toward the other door.

  “Who, was leaving? Is that fucking Ted’s car?” I yell. Pushing past Jess, I run back to the front of the house. I hear Ted speeding away. “Jessika!”

  “Baby, it was nothing,” she says, wiping her nose.

  “Nothing, you had another man in our home. You’re in your fucking night gown, and you say it’s nothing?”

  “It isn’t like that, baby. It was just one time, it isn’t going to happen again. Come on, look at me I promise.”

  “One time? You said that the last fucking time. You’re a piece of fucking work. You know that? You come home high as hell all the time. I thought it was because you’ve been stressed. Apparently I was wrong.” I can see that she is high on something. “You’re a fucking drug addict, Jessika, look at you. You’re shaking like a goddamn leaf. What’s this?” I say, picking up an empty bag with white residue.

  “No, I’m not. I only take a few hits here and there. You know it helps calm my nerves. I had a rough childhood. You, of all people, are the only one that gets me. I need you, and that’s nothing. It was just a little pick me up.”

  “Stay the hell away from me. You said that the last time, so I forgave you. Not this time, get your shit and get the fuck out of my life. I mean it. I want all of my keys back. You can keep the car. But I never want to see you again,” I yelled. I can’t fucking believe I fell for her shit again.

  “Heath, come on. It was nothing. Baby, look at me please,” she says as she places her hand on my back. “You’re my world,” she cries. Pushing her hands away from me, I can still smell the drugs and cigarettes on her. The smell of marijuana takes over her body. She has powder on her nose from the coke. Her eyes keep rolling back in her head.

  “Your world? I caught you fucking one of my golf buddies while the two of you were snorting coke. That sure is love, isn’t it, Jessika? Just go, before I call the police.”

  “This isn’t over, we belong together. You can’t just throw away what we have. The drugs make me feel better. You’re always working, and they cut my hours at work. I’ve been lonely. Jack was there for me.

  “I fucking work for what I have. I don’t go around using others to get what I want. What we had, you mean. Now get out of my life,” I say as I push her out if the door and slam it in her face. Walking back into the bedroom, I rip all of her clothes out of my closets, the clothes that I’ve paid for. I grab every suitcase I can find and just shove her shit in them then I work my way to trash bags. That’s all this bitch deserves is fucking trash. Rummaging through the dresser, I find pipes, lighters, and empty baggies. I throw them all against the wall. I’ve given her the last three years of my life. Gave her whatever she wanted, this is how she repays me. I should have fucking listened to reason the first time she pulled this shit.

  I had all the locks changed on my properties. I don’t trust that woman one bit. Apparently, she was using me. That wasn’t the first time she’d cheated, however it was the second time she’d been caught. God only knows how many others there were. She started using and everything went downhill. Once, upon a time, I thought we’d be together forever. She was the first girl I’d opened up too since Josie. I let her in and she fucking betrayed me.

  Since I own half of Holden Beach, and surrounding area, she thought she would take me for everything I own. Ha…the joke is on her because she doesn’t get shit. Now, she’s also out of a job, because I own the bank she worked for, and she was fired the day after I caught her fucking another man.

  Starting today, I’m a single man. I’ll do what I did before I met Jess. Bang them at their place, never mine. Never let them too close, pull away before they see how broken I am. My life has been one hell of a fucked up ride. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I came from a broken home. My brother was killed when I was younger, I lost my first love, and it’s been so fucked up since then. My parents are so distant. So I’ll do what I know how to do, work, play golf, and fuck the girls that aren’t looking for anything more than just a good fuck.

  It’s almost mid-February, and I finally found my young client, Maranda, a job. She was cleared of all of the charges that were pending. She is doing really well, and I’m pleased with the outcome. Now if I could get this old guy to quit calling me, my life would be good. I made the mistake of getting drunk and having sex with him. Okay, okay, his dick wasn’t as old and wrinkly as I thought it would be. But he isn’t my type. At all. The sad thing is that he keeps calling Mal when I ignore his calls. I know he is lonely, but Jesus, leave me alone.

  Note to self, never let Mal hook me up with anyone. Ever again.

  I’m meeting up with Blake tonight. We’ve slept together on and off the last seven or eight years. He’s always a good pick me up. I haven’t had a good fucking since Evan, and I’m in need of something good.

  Pulling up in front of Blake’s place, I look in the review to make sure my hair and make-up is okay. Blotting my lipstick and adjusting ‘my girls’, I climb out of my car and walk towards his front door. He opens it and he’s standing there in nothing but a towel. I smile as I look up and down his body. His body is like looking at heaven.

  “Hey, babe. I decided not to get dressed. I know you’d need a good rough fuck.” He laughs as he pulls me in for a kiss. “Evan’s off the market now…huh?”

  “Yep, don’t mention his name. This is exactly why I like you. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been my pick me up. The good Doc knows what I like,” I say as I kiss him. I wrap my legs around his waist I can feel how hard his dick is. Reaching my hand in between us, I pull the towel away from his body and his dick springs forward.

  “Condom then I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll spend the night with me,” he says, in between kisses. I never stay. I get off and go, and I’ll do just that tonight. Ever since the first time we fucked, and he did that to me, I’ve done the exact same thing. Never staying, he’s begged me all these years, but it’s not happening.

  Although Blake was there for me after I was raped, he was the one that fucked me and left me alone. But he did redeem himself when he actually beat the hell out of both the guys. I was so grateful that he did. I’d seen them around campus a few times and I wanted to kill them. I knew I couldn’t do that. But let’s just say they got what they deserved, thanks to my good friend Double B.

  It’s mid-march, Jess has been gone three months. Tonight, I’m going on a blind date, one that my stepmother fixed me up on. I’m not sure why I do these things. Apparently, this woman has been interested in me for years. I have seen a few women since the Jessika fiasco, but nothing serious—just a few to release my stress. The last girl was so damn clingy. I hope this girl isn’t the same way. Walking into the restaurant, I look around. When she texted me, she said she would be wearing a black dress with white pumps.

  Seeing a beautiful blonde waving from the bar, I walk over to her. I guess she isn’t as bad looking as I thought she’d be. I reach my hand out to shake hers. “Heath Mason and you are Lacey, correct?”

  “Well, hey there. Yes, that would be me. Have a seat,” she says as she pulls the stool next to her out.

  “Thanks, please forgive me. But I kno
w nothing about you. My step-mother did speak very highly of you,” I say as I motion for the bartender. “Would you like a drink?”

  “She and my mother have been friends for years. Yes, a Margarita please.”

  “Awesome, are you from around here?” I ask as we wait for our drinks.

  “Yes, I grew up in Holden. I actually moved away when I attended college, but came back as soon as I finished.” She laughs. “I missed it, believe it or not.”

  “I know what you mean. I’ve lived here half my life. Where did you attend college?”

  “Virginia State.” She giggles.

  “What? No wonder you wanted to move back home,” I say as I take a drink of my beer the waiter sits in front of me. “No, I’m kidding, I’ve heard they have some wonderful programs.”

  “Yes, they do. I just missed home. I felt like I was on the other side of the country. Once I graduated, I applied for a few jobs and was back to my roots.”

  “What type of work do you do?” I ask as I still know nothing about her, other than she is beautiful and has an amazing giggle.

  “I’m a social worker, I love it. I actually have a degree in physiology, but this is what I love to do. I’ve been with the same company going on six years now. Some of my clients are ruthless but that’s expected with what I do.”

  “I bet you have seen and heard some interesting things.”

  “I sure have, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world though.”

  Looking at my watch, I realize it’s getting pretty late. “Hey, would you like to get out of here?”

  “I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been thinking about being with you all night.” She giggles.

  “I think we can arrange that.”

  Taking a shower, I wash all of Lacey from my body. Crawling into bed, I stare at the ceiling. I lie there, thinking back to the night that I asked Josie to marry me.