Line of Fire

by Anderson, Simone

  “No sir, he doesn’t,” Christian replied. He did, they’d talked about it. Hayden’s parents had kicked him out of the house when he was fifteen years old after months at a prayer camp hadn’t made him straight. He’d lived with a family friend until he was seventeen, when he’d joined the Navy.

  “Do you know why you’re listed as his next of kin?”

  Christian’s stomach lurched. Next of kin? Hayden had listed him as his next of kin. Questions raced through his mind. Each of the answers and possibilities that chased them were worse than the previous one. They were a couple. Exclusive, but they’d fought and neither of them had made a commitment to each other. At least he hadn’t thought they had. Jesus. Had he lost Hayden before he got the chance to prove that he could be the man Hayden wanted? Had thought he was?

  “Petty Officer Williams?”

  “Do I know why I’m listed as his next of kin? Yes sir, I think I do. But why are you asking me? What’s happened to Hayden—Petty Officer Medema?” Christian asked, forcing his voice to stay steady and his mind to focus. Now was not the time to panic or expect the worse. He needed more information. He needed his superiors to know he was reliable and dependable.

  “There is no easy way to say this. Hayden Medema is missing.”

  “Missing and presumed?” Christian asked, his stomach dropping. He didn’t want to hear the answer, but he didn’t want not to know either.

  “Not yet. We think he might have been captured.”

  “How long has he been gone?”

  “Twenty-five days.”

  Christian buried his face in his hands. Twenty-five days? Almost a month. Days and nights he’d spent laughing and joking with friends, and Hayden was God only knew where. Had he been captured? Was he wounded? Dead? He was aware of his body rocking of its own volition. Closing his eyes, he willed answers to appear. Why hadn’t he been told earlier? He tried to remember the protocol and couldn’t.

  “Petty Officer? Christian?”

  “Sir?”

  “A beacon has been located.”

  “His?” Christian asked, looking up at his superiors.

  “Maybe. They’ll send a team in as soon as they can.”

  Christian nodded. Retrieval or recovery. A team would be sent. They would let him know if he’d been found.

  “Do you want us to call someone?”

  “Um, no, wait, yes, Morganstern. They’re at the range.” The voice that answered seemed strangely detached. He felt almost as if he were looking down at himself.

  The chaplain asked him questions, spoke to him in a quiet voice he found disconcerting and annoying. He didn’t need or want a Chaplain. He wanted, needed Hayden. People who could possibly understand what he was going through. Or at least knew him. The Chief told him he’d grant him leave. They didn’t ask about the relationship he had with Hayden. Maybe they already knew. Maybe they could tell. He didn’t care. He didn’t care who knew anymore. It had mattered before and now Hayden was gone. Not gone, missing. Captured. The words didn’t matter. It felt like his heart had been pulled from his chest.

  Needing air, Christian stood and left the room. He stumbled into the head and emptied the contents of his stomach in the first available stall, then cleaned up the best he could and making his way outside. He could text Jason from there. Jason could drive him home or to Hell’s Dune until he was drunk. Sitting down hard on the bench, he buried his head in his hands again. God let this be a nightmare. Please, let this be a nightmare.

  “Christian? Dude? Christian, what is going on?”

  Christian looked up at his friend’s voice. The multiple voices drew his attention outward, and he scanned the group surrounding him, spotting Seiboweitz. Christian launched himself at the other man.

  “What the fuck are you doing here? Come to see the gay man fall apart? Get away from me, asshole.”

  “Christian! What the hell is going on?” Jason asked as someone grabbed from behind.

  “He hates gays! Wanted Hayden dead. Fucking asshole,” Christian spat. “Probably arranged it.”

  “Arranged what? You’re not making sense, man.”

  “Hayden’s missing.”

  “What? Hayden Medema is missing? Is that why the old man wanted to see you? Why they called me? Why did they tell you?”

  “Hayden listed me as his next of kin.”

  “What? Why?” Jason asked sitting down next to him, disbelief coloring his voice.

  “He’s my partner.” Partner might have been stretching it, but he knew that’s where they were headed. Had been headed. Should be headed.

  “Your partner?”

  Christian tried to place the voice asking the question and failed. The only voice he wanted to hear was Hayden’s.

  “My boyfriend. Hayden’s my boyfriend and he’s missing and possibly captured,” Christian replied. “Does that make you happy, Seiboweitz? That a gay man, a U.S. Navy SEAL is missing, possibly captured or dead?”

  “I—what—no—”

  Christian tried to process the man’s reactions, but failed. Hayden was gone. He hadn’t figured out what he wanted and now it might be too late.

  “Come on, let’s go to Hell’s Dune. Brick’ll let us drink in peace there,” Jason suggested, interrupting the other man.

  Christian shook his head. He didn’t want to go to the bar. He didn’t want to go home either, where there were memories of Hayden. They ended up on the beach, in the shadow of the memorial to fallen comrades. Christian watched through an alcohol-induced haze as a large bonfire was built and alcohol passed around. He sat and stared into the fire, wondering and praying.

  Please be okay.

  Chapter Nine

  Christian hurt everywhere. He’d pushed his body as hard as he could every day for the last five days. Breathing hard, Christian stretched out his muscles and prepared to run the several miles back to their building with the rest of his team. He’d allowed himself forty-eight hours to mourn and wallow as he processed everything. There would be no media statement, no acknowledgement of a missing SEAL. Without any proof that Hayden was captured or dead, they would treat it as though he were missing. Nothing would be done to further endanger his lover’s life. They had promised to keep him posted. He wanted to know everything about the mission Hayden had been on and what was being done to find him. Christian didn’t ask. His superiors wouldn’t know. The SEALs in country with Hayden would know. The Operations commanders there would know. As far as the military was concerned, he didn’t need to know. His heart disagreed.

  “Hayden’s tough. Resourceful. He’ll find a way out,” Neal Edwards said firmly running along beside him.

  “I know,” Christian replied without looking up.

  “Move out!” the platoon chief yelled.

  Tension had skyrocketed within his eight-man team. His teammates, his friends, had proven that most of them didn’t care whether or not he was gay as long as he did his job. The next time Seiboweitz had said something, the response had been a quick hit to the jaw.

  “They’re trying to—” Jason said matching his pace.

  “To be nice? Understanding? Encouraging? I know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still missing and they can’t even tell where he went missing at. Obviously the mission isn’t done yet, but I can’t—”

  “How do you feel about Hayden?”

  “How do I what?”

  “You’re not deaf, you heard me.”

  Christian rolled his shoulders and thought about Jason’s question. He needed more time with Hayden before he could say with any amount of certainty that he loved the man. He cared about him. A lot. Hayden was different than any other guy he’d dated or gone out with. He was the perfect man for him, Christian just didn’t know if they were a good couple, strong enough to weather what was bound to be thrown their way. The needs of the teams and the military would always outweigh the needs of the couple. It didn’t matter what the gender was.

  “Well?”

  “I care abo
ut him. A lot.”

  “You outted yourself and went on a three-day bender because you care about him?” Jason laughed.

  Christian punched his friend hard. “Technically, it only took me several hours to pass out drunk and a hangover the next day. So, maybe twenty-four hours. Two days tops. I did not drink the next day. Well, I didn’t get drunk.”

  “The outing? Because I know you never planned on it until you knew for certain he was the one. Shit, you wouldn’t have told me, given half a choice.”

  Christian shrugged and increased his speed.

  “Spill,” Jason ordered, using his most commanding voice.

  “That shit doesn’t work on me,” Christian laughed.

  He still couldn’t explain why he admitted to being gay. Hell, everything after Lieutenant Ellison had said Hayden was missing was still hazy. Some of it had been filled in for him, usually with added events and more grandiose actions every telling until it reached the point of absurdity. Christian ignored his best friend’s comments as he increased his pace, pushing his body as hard as he could.

  Christian heard his name called as soon as he rounded the corner their building. Swearing, he altered course and found himself once again standing in front of Lieutenant Ellison.

  “Sir, you wished to see me?” Christian asked, snapping a salute.

  “At ease, Williams,” Ellison said flatly.

  Christian shifted into an at-ease position. Movement at his periphery told him that his teammates had stopped not to far from where he stood. Lieutenant Ellison was alone this time; he doubted they would give him bad news without a Chaplain present. That there was a relationship of some sort between Hayden and him had been evident from the last meeting.

  “Thought you’d like to know that Petty Officer Medema has been found, alive and well, and was flown to Balboa Naval Base this morning,” Lieutenant Ellison said, smiling.

  The weight sitting on Christian’s chest lifted and he could breathe again. Found. Nothing else mattered now. Hayden had been found and was on his way home.

  “He’ll be home in a couple of days. He’ll be off for at least two weeks, and we’ll know more later.”

  Christian nodded. “Understood sir, thank you sir.”

  “Dismissed Petty Officer.”

  Christian snapped to attention and saluted before turning and joining his friends. He ignored their questions as thoughts raced through his mind. Hayden was coming home. Depending on what the doctors found during their evaluation, his lover could lose his place on the teams or his whole military career.

  Grabbing his shower bag and a towel, Christian made his way to the showers. What happened if Hayden was no longer a SEAL? What if he received a medical discharge? Did it matter? Could he handle dating less than the perfect man? Christian turned the water on, stripped and stepped blindly under the spray.

  Did it matter?

  Christian let the water wash away the stress and tension along with the dirt and grime. Thoughts, possibilities and scenarios chased each other, each wanting to be heard as his head and heart tried to reach some sort of consensus. It didn’t matter whether or not Hayden would stay a SEAL or in the military. It didn’t really matter who knew if he was gay. He not only wanted a chance with Hayden, he wanted to know if what he was feeling was love. True love.

  They were waiting for him, ambushing him when he left the showers.

  “Christian, what the fuck did Ellison say?” Jason demanded, grabbing his arm.

  “They found him. He was sent to Balboa this morning. He’ll be home in a few days.”

  There were Hoo Yaas and whoops of celebration that reverberated throughout the locker room. Christian pulled away from his friends and made his way to his locker. Dressing automatically, he relaxed slightly. Hayden was coming home. Days. Hours. It was still home. They had months before some of them would rotate into the desert. Home was better than missing. He made a mental list of things to do, starting with applying for leave.

  “Hey, the rest of Hayden’s team just landed,” Jason said poking his head around the corner.

  “Great. Another reason to celebrate.”

  * * * *

  Hayden stared at the book he’d bought at the hospital gift shop, not seeing the words on the page as the plane prepared to land. Christian hadn’t been allowed to fly up to meet him and his teammates had been sent home fifteen hours after they’d found him. Sending him home by military transport had taken longer, but there were less people to deal with. Right now he just wanted a cold beer and his bed. And Christian.

  He’d been lucky. Bruises would fade and cuts would heal. The experience, however, was one that would probably always haunt him. He’d been partially cleared by the doctors and psychologists at the hospital, but there would be more evaluations before they declared him fit for duty. The Navy was giving him two weeks off.

  If nothing else, at least he could jack-off in peace. Images of a strong muscular body came to mind, and he smiled at their memory. The time apart had been good. He knew he’d pushed Christian to come out faster than the other man was comfortable. Even though Hayden had been completely comfortable with his sexuality, he’d still refused to come out to his teammates until he’d been left with no choice. Both times he’d been outted, it had been because of someone else.

  As the wheels touched down, relief filled him. He hoped Brian, somebody, was there to pick him up. He wanted to see Christian, but wasn’t sure what the other man knew where he was. He’d made Christian his next of kin, but they hadn’t told him if they’d notified him. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the small backpack, shoved the book into it and made his way out of the plane. What gear he had left should be waiting for him at Brian’s.

  Walking out into the bright afternoon sun, Hayden squinted and looked for a familiar face. His heart soared. Christian stood in jeans and a black t-shirt just outside the authorized personnel door. He wasn’t going to run. He wasn’t going to run.

  Christian ran. At him.

  Hayden flinched. The air was pushed out of his lungs as Christian picked him up and crushed in him a bear hug.

  “God, you’re home. You’re safe,” Christian said kissing him. “Missed you. Love you.”

  “Christian,” Hayden said, trying to get his bearings. Trying to put the Christian he knew with the Christian who was holding him and kissing him. In public. On base. “You need to put me down.”

  “Yeah, but you aren’t leaving my sight for a while,” Christian said, setting him down.

  “Welcome home man,” Brian said as he and Alexa made their way towards them.

  “You saw me like a week ago,” Hayden said as Brian hugged him.

  “Yeah, well, it needed to be said again. Besides, it doesn’t count because we put you on the plane almost immediately.”

  Hayden nodded.

  “Welcome home,” Alexa said embracing him next. “We’ll grill at my house in a couple of days. That should give you two plenty of time to resurface.”

  Hayden nodded his agreement and the group made their way to the parking lot. The first stop he needed to make was to HQ, he already knew there were several more medical and psych appointments scheduled for later in the week.

  “Um, if you were trying to stay in the closet on base you just blew it,” Hayden said fastening his seatbelt.

  “I outted myself earlier in the week when I found out you were missing and possibly captured.”

  Hayden shivered at the words. There was no possibility about it. He’d been captured. Twice. He’d escaped and had worked hard at staying out of sight until he could safely signal for help. Closing his eyes, he pushed the memories away. Christian Williams had kissed and hugged him in public. He thought he’d heard him say he loved him, but that he wasn’t sure wasn’t simply wishful thinking. His heart wanted to do a happy dance.

  “Wait, earlier this week?”

  “Yeah, they waited until I was back to tell me what happened. Needless to say I didn’t take the news well at all,” Chris
tian said, placing a hand on his thigh and squeezing. “I thought maybe we could have dinner together. I don’t know about you, but I really need to be with you.”

  “I can’t—”

  “Not sex, just dinner. Maybe some snuggling, because I don’t know if I’ll actually be able to keep my hands off from you for any length of time.”

  Hayden smiled and nodded. “Let’s just order in though. I don’t want to be around a lot of people.”

  “Of course.”

  * * * *

  Hayden stretched and snuggled closer to Christian. The early morning light pushed through the curtains. Their arrival at team HQ had involved a prolonged barbeque with most of the team that had ended with a drink at Hell’s Dune. Christian had driven him home and then stayed with him. They’d watched a movie together, snuggling the entire time, sharing chaste kisses. Even when Christian finally dragged him to bed, there had been only cuddles. Christian hadn’t pressured him, hadn’t asked him about what had happened.

  “Aren’t you late?” he asked, drawing circles on Christian’s arm.

  “Nope, I have the next week off. Apparently, Senior Chief and Lieutenant Ellison thought I might be distracted,” Christian said kissing the back of his neck. “If you’re up for it, I was thinking we could do a day at the beach?”

  “Sounds great.”

  Hayden’s cock hardened as Christian’s lips danced over his skin. It had been months since they’d had sex. He knew Christian had wanted to, but he’d been the one to say no. “Unless you plan on getting me off, you need to stop,” Hayden said, bringing Christian’s hand down to his shaft.

  “I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

  “I am.” He was. He hoped all of him was on the same page.

  “Good. Roll onto your back,” Christian ordered scooting away from him.

  Hayden did as he was told, moving again as Christian inserted himself between his legs. Christian ran his fingers along Hayden’s shaft and balls before sucking on one digit before it circled his hole and pushed in at the same time Christian’s mouth wrapped around his cock. The sensations were overwhelming, and Hayden nearly came on the spot. Christian alternated his rhythm, the effect wreaking havoc on his body. Hayden’s nerves tingled, he tensed with desire. He needed this. Wanted this.