Penny and Boots Complete Series Omnibus: An Unveiled Academy Novel - Snakes and Shadows, Werewolves and Wendigo, Pixels and Poltergeists, Bunyips and Billabongs

by Amy Hopkins

  "You're not wrong there," Professor Jones muttered. He plastered a fake, cheery grin on his face and motioned toward the front door of the Academy. “Our chariot awaits."

  The “chariot” was a stretched VW Kombi van. Penny eyed it with trepidation. A trip in that would possibly be more harrowing than facing down an actual Sasquatch if indeed they found one.

  “Professor? That wouldn’t seat twelve students.” Heddy stuck her head in the back to confirm. “Did you cancel the bus?”

  “Cancel it?” Jones started throwing the students' bags under seats. “This is the bus. You would have squeezed in.”

  "You're kidding, right?" Amelia scorned. She met the professor's glare without backing down. "That thing looks like a deathtrap."

  Jones finished loading the equipment and strode around to the front. "Old Sally has been hauling my ass around this country for the last thirty years, and she’s never missed a beat. You give her the respect she deserves." Professor Jones’ lips moved as he patted the nose of the vehicle.

  Penny couldn't quite make out what he said, but she’d lay money down that he was apologizing to the car for the affront.

  The six students piled into the Kombi, picking their way over bags of camping equipment packed into random corners and strapped on the seats. Penny had clutched her own duffel bag protectively—Boots was inside, nestled amongst layers of flannel and wool. A large cooler was wedged into the very back seat and Penny wondered if Cook had won her battle to cater for the expedition.

  "Off we go!" Professor Jones threw himself into the front seat, twisted the key, cursed as the engine stalled, then tried to start the van again. This time it started and the professor laughed joyously.

  "What is he on this morning?" Amelia muttered into Penny's ear. "Whatever it is, I want some."

  Penny leaned forward to tap Cisco’s shoulder. "Cisco, are you sure they vetted all the teachers’ backgrounds before employing them?"

  "I'm starting to think not very well," Cisco answered. He cringed as the radio blared to life. "If he's gonna keep up with this music for the whole trip, I'll report him for grievous bodily harm to a student."

  Penny didn't recognize the song, but the high-pitched country drawl was loud enough to make her eardrums ache. "This is gonna be one hell of a trip," she said, grinning.

  Despite the unconventional approach of the professor, riding into no man's land in a rickety old van was something Penny had done many times before. During her high school days, she often escaped with a bunch of friends to a nearby watering hole, setting up tents for a couple of days and exploring the nearby caverns for fun.

  This time? This time she was with new friends, a new place, and there was every chance she was going to see something incredible.

  By the time Penny was tucked into her sleeping bag that night, her excitement had well and truly worn off.

  She twisted uncomfortably, clutching the synthetic covering closer to try and ward off the biting cold. It didn't work. The soaking ground felt like ice, and the damp ate into her bones and chilled her to her core.

  Penny rolled over again in frustration and was rewarded with a sharp hiss. “Sorry, Boots.”

  "This is pretty shitty, isn't it?" Amelia remarked.

  “Cold, wet shitty,” Heddy whispered.

  Despite the low turnout leaving them with spare tents, the girls had elected to share anyway They were banking on the theory that many bodies would make extra heat, keeping them warm. The cheap, flimsy tents did little to hold that heat in, though.

  "You're damn right it is.” Penny gave up trying to get comfortable and sat up instead. “It's colder than a witch’s tit, and I can't for the life of me get comfortable. I swear to God, Jones picked the lumpiest spot in the damn forest to set these tents up."

  "We still have another night to go." Amelia heaved a dramatic sigh, then Penny heard the rustle of her sleeping bag and the sound of the zipper being undone. "Be right back.”

  Penny quickly struggled out of her sleeping bag. "You're not going anywhere without me. Coming, Heddy?”

  Penny quickly re-evaluated her estimation of how much warmth the tent held. As cold as it was inside, nothing prepared her for the icy rush that hit her when she stepped outside. “Yikes!” She wrapped her arms around her chest. “This takes glass-cutting to a whole new level!”

  "Is that Australian for ‘oh gosh, it's terribly cold out here?’" Amelia asked. "If it is, I agree wholeheartedly." She began picking her way through the underbrush toward the middle of the small clearing they had set up camp in.

  "Where the hell are we going?" Heddy asked. "You know people die of hypothermia, right?"

  "Don't be so dramatic," Amelia scoffed. “Anyway, I'm off to find something to warm our bellies. Or at least, something strong enough that we don’t care about the cold anymore."

  She didn't elaborate further than that, but Penny was starting to develop a theory about where they were headed. During the bus ride, Cisco and Red had very circumspectly slid a bag under their seat, resting their feet on it when the bouncing of the van made the bag clink.

  Her suspicion was reinforced when Amelia approached the boys' tent.

  Amelia flicked the side of the tent. The low mumble of voices from inside was quickly followed by clinking glass. A moment later, the front of the boys' tent rustled as the zip was pulled down. "Who's there?" Cisco called in a hushed voice.

  "It's us, you idiots. You didn't put the booze away, did you?" Amelia shone her flashlight in Cisco's face, and he held up a hand to protect his eyes from the blinding light. “We didn’t come for the good company, you know.”

  "We didn't know it was you!" He moved aside to let the girls squeeze into the tent.

  "Who the hell else would it be?" Penny asked. She maneuvered into a cross-legged position and took the plastic cup Cisco offered. She sniffed the amber liquid and guessed it was whiskey.

  "Professor Jones?” Cisco said acerbically. He held up a bottle of Coke to Penny, and she nodded. “Nice flannels, Heddy.”

  Heddy grinned. “Goth doesn’t stop when you sleep.”

  Amelia had already gushed over her black pajamas with a cute, skeletal cat pattern.

  Penny rolled her eyes. "You really think Jones will care if we have a few drinks? It's not like we’re underage.” She grinned, then took a sip, closing her eyes for a blissful moment. Although the Coke was flat and the drink a little stronger, somehow the torchlight and nylon walls made it taste far better than it would at home.

  "Speak for yourself," Red mumbled, his face turning the same color as his name.

  "What? How old are you?" Penny asked.

  "I'm twenty-one in three weeks' time!" Scowling, Red threw back the last of his shot and filled it up again.

  "Aww! He’s just a little whippersnapper," cooed Amelia.

  Red grumbled something in reply, but Penny didn't quite catch it. From his tone, she guessed it was something rude.

  “I just turned nineteen,” Heddy said quietly. “I don’t wanna get you guys in trouble. Can I have a Coke?”

  Penny passed Heddy a bottle while Cisco rummaged for a cup. "I keep forgetting you guys have to wait so much longer than we do to drink," she lamented. "I've been getting shitfaced for the last three and a half years.”

  "That's so unfair!" Amelia groaned. "Three years? I only had my first legal drink last month!"

  "What?” Red snapped. He tossed a rolled-up sock at Amelia’s head. “You just called me young!”

  Amelia tossed the sock back at Red, missing his head and hitting his cup instead.

  Red cursed, looking down at his lap where the sticky liquid had soaked his jeans.

  “Oh, dammit. I’m sorry, Red.” Amelia’s apology sounded sincere, but her eyes glinted, and a sly grin touched her mouth. “You want me to help clean that up? I’ve got a towel back in my tent.”

  Penny’s jaw dropped, and Red blushed even harder than he had before.

  Amelia just laughed. “God, you’re such
prudes.” She winked at Red. “Come on. It’ll only take a minute.”

  “Oh, my God, did you just insult me again?” Red screeched. He grabbed an unopened bottle and stood, or tried to. Hunched over in the tent, he stepped on Penny’s hand while trying to make for the exit. “Shit, did I get your fingers? Sorry Penny.” He glanced back at Cisco. “I’ll be back. But I’ll be gone at least three minutes.”

  “Oh, a challenge.” Amelia passed Penny her already-empty cup and clambered out over her friend.

  Penny grabbed her arm and pulled her close. “If you get anything on my blankets, I’ll leave you out here for Bigfoot to eat,” she told them in a low voice.

  “We’ll find a quiet spot in the woods. Have fun, you three,” Amelia said with a wink. She saluted and backed out carefully.

  “Did he step on you?” Heddy asked.

  Penny held up her hand. “Yeah. Not hard, though.”

  Cisco snorted into his cup. “That’s not what she said.”

  Penny giggled, heat from the whiskey already flooding her cheeks. “I bet.” She glanced at the open tent flap, seeing nothing but darkness. “Do you think they’ll be safe out there?”

  “Red is chicken. They won’t go far.” Cisco eyed Penny’s cup. “Need a top-up?”

  “Are you trying to get me drunk?” Penny asked, grinning.

  Cisco quickly waved his hands. “No! Not me. Boy scout’s honor.”

  Heddy twisted her mouth. “Were you even a scout?”

  Laughing, Cisco shook his head. “No way. They were too uptight for a kid like me. One hundred percent rebel, I was.”

  “And now?” Penny’s voice dropped, her question a serious one. She gestured a hand toward the bottle stashed by his side.

  Cisco passed her the whiskey. “Mom had cancer last year. She was lucky—a few weeks of chemo and she was cleared. But I had to take her to the appointments. Penny, I met a lady who lost everything. Her life savings, her house. Until then, I hadn’t taken it all seriously, you know? I just kind of thought Mom would always be there, that someone would always be looking after me.”

  Penny nodded. She had been drifting through life, too. Hell, this whole trip was on a whim and she still had no idea if she would stay. “I guess that kind of thing really makes you think.”

  Cisco nodded. “Life sucks when you’re an adult. In some ways, anyway. I realized I’d better start thinking about my future. Good job, financial security, insurance.”

  “My dad died of cancer,” Heddy told them in a small voice. Before the others could say anything, she waved her hand. “We weren’t close. He wasn’t an asshole, but we only spent a few weeks a year together after my parents split. But the cancer? It was expensive. My mom ended up paying his rent for the last six months, just so he wasn’t homeless.”

  “I guess I’ve never really thought about it,” Penny said. “But my parents will get old one day. They’re happy now, but traveling. I’ve honestly never considered what comes next for them.”

  They all fell silent for a while, sipping their drinks and contemplating uncertain futures.

  “What are you two gonna do when you graduate?” Cisco finally asked. He twisted around and rummaged in a bag while he waited for the girls to answer.

  “Government work,” Heddy said. She shrugged. “I know I act like a rebel, but that doesn’t mean I want to throw my life away.”

  “Penny?” Cisco nudged her with his knee.

  The question took Penny by surprise. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t even know if I will.”

  Turning back, Cisco tilted his head questioningly. Penny explained Crenel’s offer. “I told him I’d give it a shot. One semester. After that, I have to choose whether I’ll stay—but I don’t think I will.”

  “You can’t leave. What would you do back home, anyway?” Cisco finally found what he was looking for and pulled out a bag of Doritos. He popped it open and tipped it toward Penny.

  She sniffed the bag cautiously. After being stuck in the airport for four hours on arrival waiting for her ride to the Academy, she’d found Doritos in America were not the same as Doritos in Australia. She plucked a chip out and popped it in her mouth.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. Then, she gasped as the spices from the corn chip started to bite at her mouth. “Oh, shit.” She downed her drink and held the empty cup out for Cisco to refill. “Spicy!” she explained in a choked voice.

  Heddy snorted her drink into her cup, and Cisco chuckled as he poured Penny another drink. Penny emptied it, then sucked air into her still-burning mouth. The burn receded and she waved her face, panting. “What the hell is with American food? At this rate, I’ll be dead before the semester is over.”

  “Spicy?” Cisco shook his head in wonder. “You haven’t tried spicy.”

  “Yeah?” Penny grimaced. “Let’s keep it that way.”

  “I’ll tell you what,” Cisco leaned back into a more comfortable position. “I’ll take you to a nice place I know. It’s a little cantina, hidden in a back street. The food there is amazing. Once you taste it, you’ll never want to go home.”

  Penny gave him a skeptical look. “Mexican food is spicy,” she reminded him. “My tongue is about as tough as a newborn kitten.”

  “They have some stuff even you can handle,” Cisco promised. “And if that fails, I’ll have my mom cook for you.”

  The idea of having Professor Madera cook for her made Penny giggle. “Right. I take it you can’t?”

  With a wounded expression, Cisco threw his hands up. “I can cook! Pretty damn well, too. But no one beats Mom’s paella. No one.”

  “Ok, fine. Somewhere in the US, there’s good food. But after this semester, I don’t get a cost of living grant, and tuition isn’t covered.” Penny spread her hands. “I’d have to get a job. Who would look after Boots?” She shook her head. “It just wouldn’t work, Cisco.”

  “I’d babysit for you.” Cisco’s face squinched as he reconsidered his words. “Snake-sit?”

  “Serpent-sit,” Penny amended. “Thanks for the offer, though. I just...don’t know if I can stay away from home for two whole years,” she admitted.

  She was surprised to find herself giving it serious thought, though. What if I did stay?

  “Homesick?” When she nodded, Cisco patted her knee. “We’ll just have to make sure you have so much fun you don’t have time to think about going back. And maybe you can visit on breaks.”

  Penny snorted. “Yeah, if I find a sugar daddy to pay for the flights.”

  Cisco tapped the side of his nose. “Or, make friends with a guy whose mom knows the owner of a magic carpet.”

  Despite feeling stupid for not even considering that, Penny’s spirits lifted. “It beats an eighteen-hour flight, that’s for sure.” She jabbed a finger at Cisco. “You could come too! Mrs. Chu would love to meet you.” Then she frowned, reconsidering. “Then again, she’d be planning our wedding within five minutes of seeing us together. That woman is obsessed with marrying me off.”

  “Who’s Mrs. Chu?” Cisco poured two last drinks, draining the whiskey bottle empty. He held a Coke out to Heddy, then chuckled when he saw she’d fallen asleep, slumped over a duffel bag, and snoring lightly.

  “I guess it’s safe to reveal my secret Australian identity, then,” Penny joked. Sighing happily, she told him about the eccentric owner of the Chinese Kitchen, the resident drunk, the kind publican, and the rest of the larger-than-life characters of Larrabee.

  Cisco listened loosely, eyes widening when she told him she taught self-defense and laughing at her portrayal of Jerry and his altercation with Boots.

  “I can see why you love it,” Cisco conceded when she stopped, lost in her memories of her hometown. “But there are good things—and good people here, too.”

  Penny smiled. Despite a pang of homesickness and the knowledge her time here was limited, she had to admit that right now, she was glad to be where she was. “I know. I’ve already met some.”

  Chapter Ten<
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  Penny woke the next morning with a pounding headache. She sat, wincing as it thumped harder. A quick glance at Amelia showed her roomie was no better off.

  She wondered how Heddy was doing—since she had refused to leave the warmth of Cisco and Red’s tent, curling into Red’s empty sleeping bag for the night instead.

  “How are you holding up?” Penny asked gently.

  Amelia sat up, then clutched her stomach. “Ohhhh, God. I’m gonna be sick.” She pressed her eyes shut as Penny scrambled for a bag. “It’s ok. I can hold it in...I think.”

  “Did you two finish that whole bottle between you?” Penny asked.

  Amelia nodded. “Looks like we’re hitting the hay early tonight.”

  “Don’t bet on it,” Penny argued. “The boys brought enough grog to last a week. If you don’t mind liver failure, anyway.”

  Laying back down on her sleeping bag, Amelia groaned. “No way. Never again.”

  “Wait until tonight,” Penny assured her. “You’ll change your mind.”

  Amelia yanked her pillow over her head. “Probably. But until then, I’d like to die alone, please.”

  Penny reached for the tent zipper but jumped back when a loud, metallic clang pierced the air. It sounded a half-dozen times in rapid succession, loud enough to penetrate Penny’s hands clasped over her ears. Beside her, Amelia whimpered.

  “Get up! We don’t have all day!” Professor Jones’s voice rang out when the cacophony had stopped. “I heard the shenanigans last night. That’s no excuse—if you want to act like adults at night, you work like adults the next morning.”

  “All right!” Red yelled nearby. “Enough with the banging, though!”

  A hand groped Penny’s leg, and she looked down to see Amelia blindly searching for something, pillow still clutched tightly over her head.

  “Pink bag,” Amelia moaned. “Tylenol.”

  Penny spotted the lifesaving purse tucked in a corner of the tent and fished out the small bottle of painkillers. “Here.”