Love to Hate You

by Jennifer Sucevic

  None of this makes sense.

  The last time he came home with obvious signs that he’d been brawling, I’d accused him of fooling around with someone else’s girlfriend. He hadn’t denied the allegation.

  “What happened to your face?” I ask tightly. If he’s involved with another girl, we’re done. I refuse to be someone’s sidepiece.

  Carter hunches his shoulders and glances away. I hold my tongue and wait for an explanation. His silence only validates that whatever he’s doing isn’t something I’d be cool with.

  My hands fall away from his face. “You should go.”

  Carter’s gaze darts to mine. He licks his lips and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Everything within me wilts in disappointment. Craving distance, I move further away before yanking the sheet from the bed and wrapping it around my naked body.

  “I’m serious. You need to leave.” As much as I want to yell or throw something at him, I keep all my emotion in check.

  “Where is this coming from? All I wanted to do was slip into your bed and touch you.” He presses his lips into a tight line and shakes his head. “You’re kicking me out for no reason.”

  “I asked you to explain your disappearance and you won’t tell me.” I point to the swelling on his cheek. “I asked how you got the bruise and again, you refuse to tell me.” Much like ripping off a Band-Aid, this needs to be done swiftly. “If you want to be with other girls, that’s fine. But don’t expect to slide into my bed and have me, too.”

  That thought is so repugnant that bile rises in my throat.

  Carter raises a hand to massage his temple. “Wait a minute, you think I’m screwing around on you?” His eyes widen. “Why the hell would you think that?”

  “Explain why you ran out of here earlier.” I wait a beat and add, “Oh, that’s right, you won’t tell me.”

  “Daisy, I haven’t been with anyone since we…”

  “Fucked?” I supply helpfully.

  “No!” he snaps with a scowl. “We aren’t fucking.”

  “That’s exactly what we’re doing.” What’s the point in denying it?

  “Look, I haven’t been with another girl since we got together.” His gaze is unwavering. “Whether you want to believe it or not, that’s the truth.”

  Somehow, when I wasn’t looking, this relationship with Carter became so much more than it was ever meant to be.

  His words alleviate some of the pressure in my chest, but they don’t explain where he took off to and why. I wait, hoping that he’ll exonerate himself, but he doesn’t.

  “So, you’re going to leave me hanging without an explanation?” I say with disbelief.

  “I’m sorry. Something came up that I had to take care of.” Carter closes the distance between us until he’s able to thread his fingers through mine and reel me closer. Once I’m within striking distance, he wraps his arms around me and presses me against his body.

  “It’s not something I can talk about. But I promise that it had nothing to do with another girl.” His voice dips, becoming so low that it sounds as if it’s been roughed up by sandpaper. “There’s no one else. Just you.”

  A little thrill slides through me as I relax against Carter.

  More than anything, I want to believe him.

  I just don’t know if I can.

  Chapter Thirty

  Daisy

  “So,” I tilt my head and squint. “You’re not going to tell me where we’re going?”

  Carter skewers me with a glance and shakes his head. A smile clings to his lips. Every so often, our eyes catch and hold, sparks of desire flaring to life, before he jerks them back to the road.

  This is a first for us. We never go out in public together.

  Sure, we walk to class and sit next to one another, but there’s always a distance between us. Everything about our demeanor screams friend zone. Which is exactly why girls still approach him. They flick their hair and flutter their lashes. They press their hands to his chest or trail their fingertips along his bicep. I might be standing next to him, but it’s like I’m wearing an invisibility shield. As much as I want to growl and tell them to back the hell off, I can’t.

  What am I going to say?

  That he’s my secret boytoy and to keep their sticky mitts off my man?

  Not going to happen.

  Although, Carter doesn’t encourage their behavior. He’s polite but nothing more.

  It must suck to be so hot and talented. Yeah, that thought makes me laugh every time.

  Poor Carter.

  Wahhhhh.

  It’s not lost on me that if this had happened two months ago, it wouldn’t have bothered me in the least. I would have rolled my eyes and sneered at these dumb girls for being into a guy who’s only interested in getting between their legs for the night.

  And now…

  It’s probably best not to go there.

  We’ve yet to define what this is between us and that’s dangerous. As much as I want to remain aloof and detached, I’m not. The fact that I want to scratch these girls’ eyes out tells me everything I need to know about the situation.

  And none of it is good.

  “You’ll see,” he says, breaking into my thoughts.

  Which is for the best. This is our first outing together, it should be light and airy. Not mired in complications.

  I stare out the passenger side window of his car as we leave the city behind us. Houses set in the middle of postage stamp sized lawns on city blocks give way to fields and patches of woods that dot the picture-perfect landscape. Trees are in the middle of changing colors and the sky is a deep cornflower blue. White clouds that look like cotton candy float by.

  I close my eyes and tilt my face toward the sun, enjoying the feel of it stroking my cheeks.

  My aunt and uncle live on the southern tip of the city. We’re traveling north on a two-lane county road. After about fifteen miles, we hit a small town. It takes a few minutes to travel through it and then we’re picking up speed, continuing north.

  A pit settles in the bottom of my gut as I realize that wherever we’re going, we won’t have to worry about being seen together. I haven’t mentioned it to Carter, but I’m no longer comfortable sneaking around. I don’t like keeping secrets from Noah. But most of all, I’m not interested in being someone’s dirty little secret.

  Maybe at first it was fun and exciting.

  But now…

  It just feels wrong.

  In the back of my mind I know that I need to end this fling. That’s all it is and all it will ever be. I don’t see us riding off into the sunset together. That thought brings a pang of sadness to my heart as I sneak a glance at Carter. My belly flutters as my gaze settles on him. It’s shocking to realize that I actually like Carter as a person. He’s funny and sweet. Not to mention, smart.

  God…he’s so smart that it’s annoying.

  How’s that for a kick in the pants?

  But the fact that he’s taking me more than an hour away from campus, so we can be together without the fear of exposure, dampens any joy I’d felt at the prospect of going out together.

  I yank my gaze from his profile and stare out the window. I’m so lost in my thoughts and the decisions I’m going to be forced to make, that I don’t realize he’s thrown the car into park and is facing me.

  “We’re here,” Carter says as he reaches over to unsnap my seatbelt.

  “Oh.”

  I blink back to the present and notice that we’ve pulled into a parking lot. A lake sparkles in the distance. A dense forest surrounds a good portion of it and there’s a sandy beach to the right. Tall pines spear into the sky.

  “It’s beautiful.” I sit motionless as my gaze scans the horizon. “Where are we?”

  “Caledonia State Park.” A smile curves his lips.

  The way his expression softens holds my attention. Happiness radiates off of him in waves. Not only can I see the change in his demeanor, I can feel it. I’ve never seen him l
ook this lighthearted.

  “Ready?” Carter pops open the trunk before exiting the Mustang. Going around to the back of the car, he pulls out a basket and blanket before slamming it shut.

  Even though my mind registers the items, I still ask, “What’s that?” My voice comes out sounding thick and slow.

  Carter glances at the basket in his hand as if seeing it for the first time. “If I had to take a guess,” he smirks, eyes crinkling with humor. “I’d say it looks like a picnic basket.”

  How many times have I seen this playful side to Carter?

  Not many. He’s usually more reserved and self-contained.

  “Yes, I can see that,” I say with smile. “I’m just confused as to why you have it.”

  One side of his mouth curves into a lopsided smile. “I thought we could have lunch here since neither of us had class this afternoon.”

  Carter Prescott packed me a picnic lunch?

  What the hell is going on here?

  A gesture like this seems almost…romantic.

  I swallow past the lump of emotion wedged in the middle of my throat as he holds out his hand for me to take. With our fingers clasped, we walk about twenty yards toward the lake. The park is surprisingly empty for such a beautiful day. Other than a few boats on the lake, we have the place to ourselves.

  Carter sets the basket down and spreads out the blanket on a grassy bank about thirty feet from the edge of the water. Once it’s been smoothed out, we both settle on it.

  “Hungry?” he asks, opening the basket and unloading its contents.

  “Starving,” I admit.

  He pulls out plates, napkins, a bowl of fruit, two sandwiches, a few bags of potato chips, and water.

  “Wow, this looks great.” My mind cartwheels, unable to believe that he put so much thought into this.

  Silently we unwrap our sandwiches and bite into them. My gaze cruises over the scenery. This place is gorgeous and peaceful, but it doesn’t stop my previous thoughts from buzzing around in my head. The last time I asked questions and demanded answers, he refused to give them. I don’t want to ruin this moment or the effort he’s put into making it happen, but I feel another conversation brewing between us.

  Once we’ve demolished our lunches, Carter stretches out on the blanket. He folds his arms behind him and rests his head on stacked hands. His gaze captures mine easily.

  “Come here,” he whispers.

  He doesn’t need to ask twice. I scramble over and lay my head against his chest, inhaling a breath of him before closing my eyes and melting into his warmth. Somehow, in this moment, everything feels perfect. I’m not fooling myself into believing that it’s actually perfect. I know damn well that it’s not. There are too many questions and uncertainties between us. But for now, with the sun shining on my face, the wind sliding over my heated flesh, and my belly full of a lunch Carter packed for us himself, I feel content.

  I don’t realize that I’ve dozed off until his voice snaps me awake.

  “Whenever I needed to get away from home and clear my head, this is where I’d go. Even now, when I’m at school and need a break, I’ll take off and drive here for a while.” He pauses for a beat. “I don’t always set out with the intention of coming to the park, but this is where I always end up. There’s something tranquil about the lake and woods.”

  As those words sink in, I realize how special this place is to him and my heart cracks wide open. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

  He stares up at the cotton candy-like clouds as they float past.

  “I’ve never brought anyone else here.” He glances at me and then yanks his eyes away. “I’ve never wanted to.”

  Instead of staying curled up in the crook of his arm, I roll toward him until I’m draped across his chest. “But you wanted to bring me?” My gaze fastens onto his, searching it for more than he’s willing to admit.

  “Yeah,” he whispers.

  We might be the only two people in the park, but we keep our voices pitched low as if we’re telling secrets.

  “Why?” My heart quickens its pace and I feel the heavy thud of it against my ribcage. Whatever he’s about to say feels important.

  Carter’s gaze slides from mine and he shrugs, studying the sky as if it holds all the answers. “I like you, Daisy.” He pauses and admits, “A lot.”

  My breath stalls. “I like you, too,” I confess before losing my nerve.

  Owning up to my feelings are both scary and exhilarating all at the same time. This relationship was supposed to be strictly sex, but it no longer feels that way. Maybe I was fooling myself from the very beginning and it was always more than I allowed myself to believe.

  “I think we should tell Noah,” he says.

  His words stun me into silence. Carter doesn’t date girls. He fucks them and moves on to the next.

  So, what does this mean?

  “Is that really what you want?” I ask.

  He rolls to his side so that I’m cradled in his arms. Our faces are so close that when his warm breath feathers across my lips, it makes me dizzy. Or maybe it’s the unexpected words coming out of his mouth.

  “I’m tired of hiding this. When we’re walking across campus, I want to hold your hand. I want people to know that we’re together.” He pauses for a beat. “You want that too, right?”

  A smile blooms across my face as I nod. This relationship has come out of nowhere, but I want it more than anything.

  “Good.” His expression relaxes, and he grins before brushing a kiss across my lips. “You belong to me, Daisy Thompson.”

  I have no idea how long we lay wrapped in each other’s arms, talking and watching the clouds as they pass overhead. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more contented in my life. As excited as I am to share the news with Noah, I don’t want to burst the fragile bubble we’ve created for ourselves.

  It seems almost crazy that Carter feels the same way I do. He wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with him. That thought fills me with so much happiness that I want to laugh and scream. Instead, I slip my hand under his shirt and trail my fingers over the grooved contours of his chest. As soon as I do, need pools between my thighs.

  “Mmmm, that feels good, baby,” he groans.

  I glance around and notice that the park is still empty. It must be at least three in the afternoon and we haven’t seen a single person since we arrived. Another wave of desire washes over me at the thought of having Carter’s gorgeous cock buried deep inside my body.

  Again, I lift my head and look around, searching the area with more scrutiny for any signs of life.

  There aren’t any.

  So, what’s to stop me from being spontaneous and taking what I want?

  Decision made, I balance myself on my hands and knees, crawling on top of him.

  He blinks the sleepiness away as his eyes spark with heat. A surprised smile lifts the corners of his lips. “Ummm, what do you think you’re doing?”

  I arch a brow and rub my pussy against his growing erection. “Isn’t that obvious?”

  He rips his gaze from mine and searches the park. Uncertainty wars with desire. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

  You only live once, right?

  I yank my shirt over my head and toss it to the ground before reaching around my back and unsnapping my bra. The silky material slides down my arms. There’s something wicked about feeling the rays of the sun beating down on my bare skin. My nipples tighten as the warm air rushes over them. Wanting to tease him, I stretch my arms overhead and arch my back so that my breasts thrust forward.

  “Still don’t think this is a good idea?” I ask slyly.

  His heated gaze fastens on my chest as he reaches up and strums the nipples with his thumbs. I close my eyes as my head falls back.

  “You’re fucking killing me, Daisy,” he rasps.

  My fingers hover over the zipper of my shorts. I’m ready to take this to the next level when a sharp voice cuts through the sile
nce of the park and shatters the moment.

  “Hey! What do you two think you’re doing over there!”

  My eyes pop open in shock as I screech and grab my breasts with my hands, trying to cover them from the guy stalking toward us from the other end of the park.

  Oh my God!

  It registers that he’s wearing a tan park ranger uniform. He might not be a police officer, but this is still bad. Coming alive, I roll off Carter and land on the blanket with a soft oomph.

  “If you’re not dressed and out of here in exactly two minutes,” he shouts, coming closer. “You’re both getting tickets for public indecency!”

  I grab my shirt and jerk it over my head with more haste than I yanked it off with. This is one of the more humiliating moments of my life. Thankfully, I didn’t get a chance to divest Carter of his clothing.

  He’s busy throwing everything into the picnic basket.

  I don’t bother with it. I’m willing to leave it behind. It’s a small price to pay to not be on the receiving end of a stern lecture or a ticket.

  I jump to my feet and sprint toward his car. Unfortunately, I’m forced to run past Ranger Rick. There’s no way around him. I avert my gaze and pray that Carter is hot on my heels. I need to get out of here before I spontaneously combust from embarrassment.

  “You have a lot of nerve, little missy!” he yells.

  I wince.

  Just as I reach the vehicle, Carter clicks open the locks. I grab the handle and dive headfirst onto the front seat. Looking perfectly at ease, Carter slides into the driver’s side. I glance at him and he grins, twirling my bra on his finger.

  “Figured you wouldn’t want to leave behind any evidence,” he teases.

  My face heats as I yank the undergarment from his fingers and collapse on my seat. “Just drive.”

  He chuckles and starts the engine.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Carter

  As I pull out of the state park, my phone dings with an incoming message. I don’t bother checking who it is. I’m not ready for reality to rear its ugly head. Instead, I glance at Daisy. She’s still slumped on her seat with one hand shielding her face from view.