Buttons and Shame

by Penelope Sky

  She stared at the mug in surprise before she took it. “Thank you…”

  “I had some leftover eggs. You want them?” I ate two eggs every day, but I prepared four because I thought she might be hungry. I didn’t go out of my way to do anything for anyone. But for some reason, I wanted to make sure she was comfortable in my home.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  I scooped them onto the plate and set it on the kitchen counter. “Need anything else?”

  “I think I’ll make some toast.” She took a slice of the Italian roll on the counter and shoved it into the toaster.

  I moved to the table in front of the window and looked through the newspaper, always interested in the crimes that happened throughout Italy. I knew all the members of the big mobs, including the Skull Brothers, and I usually knew about the big jobs before they hit the press.

  She sat beside me with her eggs and toast and ate quietly, hardly attracting any attention. It seemed like she wanted to disappear, not to make any sudden moves for fear of what I might do to her.

  She was preoccupied with her food and didn’t notice that her coffee was sitting at the very edge. If she accidentally bumped it, it would crash to the floor. Just when I had the thought, she shifted her arm and tapped it.

  I threw my arm out and caught it just before it tipped over.

  Adelina instinctively threw her arms in front of her face and protected her body. She stiffened and quickly scooted to the other edge of the seat, darting out of the way of an attack that wasn’t coming.

  I held on to the mug and stared at her, feeling like shit.

  She breathed hard then slowly lowered her arms when she realized my fists weren’t flying at her face. She finally brought her hands to her chest and looked at me with embarrassment in her eyes, realizing what actually happened.

  I cleared my throat and returned the mug to the center of the counter where she couldn’t accidentally knock it over again. I’d never forget the way she twisted away from me, ducking for cover like I was about to turn her into a punching bag.

  I remembered the way Pearl lay on the ground inside of Crow’s mansion. Blood was everywhere, and she was cold and blue. It didn’t matter how weak she was. It didn’t stop me from striking her again, from wanting to cause her as much pain as possible.

  I closed my eyes and cleared the thoughts, feeling guilt surge deep inside me. I was offended Adelina assumed I would punch her, especially for no reason at all, but I knew she had every right to feel that way.

  I’d nearly killed an innocent woman.

  I sipped my coffee just so I had something to do. Now it was awkward for both of us. She was obviously scared of me the same way she was scared of Tristan, but I couldn’t assure her I was any different.

  I was no fucking different.

  She finally grabbed her fork again and started eating.

  I stared out the window and was at a loss for words. I wanted to ask how she slept the night before, but the words wouldn’t form on my tongue. I wanted to tell her she looked beautiful that morning, but I couldn’t get myself to say that either.

  So I didn’t say anything at all.

  The doorbell rang from the front of the house.

  Adelina stiffened again. “Who is that?”

  “How will I know until I answer the door?” I said like a smartass. I got up and pushed the chair in.

  “Did you send Tristan for me?” The terror in her voice made me stop in my tracks.

  “No.”

  She relaxed again, closing her eyes and dragging her hands down her face.

  I felt bad for her—again.

  I walked to the front door on the other side of the house and checked the peephole.

  It was Crow. And Pearl.

  “Shit.” I knew I couldn’t run from him forever. He was bound to track me down one way or another. Now that I was certain I was keeping Adelina, I had to come clean to my brother. I just wish Pearl weren’t there to witness the conversation. Her goodness always made me feel like shit.

  I opened the door and walked out, making sure the door shut behind me so Adelina couldn’t overhear the conversation. “Beautiful day, huh?” I placed my hands in my pockets and smiled at Crow, trying to ignore the furious look on his face.

  Damn, he looked mad.

  “What the fuck, Cane? Why are we shipping weapons to someone who’s only paid half?” He was in a black t-shirt and dark jeans with a gun on his hip. He obviously expected to shoot me again.

  Pearl hung in the background, trying to be quiet since this really didn’t concern her.

  I was surprised she was there.

  “Fuckface, I asked you a question.” He stepped closer to me to get my attention again.

  “Don’t worry about it, alright?”

  “Don’t worry about it? I’m out ten million dollars just because?”

  “Tristan keeps his word. We both know that.”

  Both of his hands formed fists. “That doesn’t matter. We don’t make exceptions for anyone—period. Now that we’ve done it for Tristan, we’ll have to do it for others.”

  “No, we won’t. Chill.” I wasn’t going to bring up Adelina unless I absolutely had to. Pearl would rip my eyes out of my head. Not to mention, her disappointment would kill me.

  “I’m not gonna chill, asshole. I’m flying out there, and I’m getting the other half of our payment. End of story.”

  No, that wasn’t gonna work. “Crow, let me handle it. I’ve got this deal taken care of. The money will be here in less than a month.”

  “Less than a month?” he asked incredulously. “We have employees to pay, Cane. When did we stop being a business and turn into a charity? None of this is making sense. You’re always such a hard-ass, and now you’re soft?”

  “I’m not soft,” I said with a growl.

  “Then why did you let Tristan get away with this?”

  There was no answer I could invent that would make any sense. But I didn’t want to come clean about the trade I made. Maybe if Pearl weren’t standing right there, it would be different. Crow would understand. After all, he fell in love with his own slave, and now she was his wife. “Pearl, give us a moment.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “I’m a Barsetti too. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I turned to Crow, silently asking him to get rid of her.

  He only shook his head. “Tell us what’s going on, Cane. There’s something you aren’t telling me. You can either fess up like a man, or I can rip it out of you. What’s it going to be?”

  I ran my hand through my hair as I stared across the Tuscan fields. My neighbors in the distance had a large vineyard, so I had a nice view from the front porch. The olive trees in front were in full bloom. “Look, here’s the deal…”

  Crow narrowed his eyes. “Better be good, Cane. You better justify why I’m out ten million dollars.”

  He definitely wasn’t going to be happy with my explanation. “I was at the airport when I saw this woman. I couldn’t stop staring at her, and when I finally went over to make my move, she wouldn’t speak to me.”

  Pearl looked just as confused as Crow did.

  “I gave up on her and moved on. I got to France and met with Tristan. I saw that same woman there…who’d been trafficked. He told me to have a go with her before we sealed the deal.”

  Pearl’s face slowly contorted into a look of rage. She was about to explode like a volcano, lava shooting out everywhere and directly into my veins.

  “She said no, so I didn’t go through with it, alright?” I said before Pearl could jump to conclusions. “But I did other stuff with her instead.”

  Crow wasn’t surprised by this conversation at all. His face looked like a wall of stone.

  “Tristan said he couldn’t pay the second half up front, so he offered her as a loan for thirty-one days. When he gives me the money, I hand her back. That’s the deal.”

  Crow dragged his hand down his face then squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and
forefinger. “So, let me get this straight. You traded ten million dollars to fuck some woman for a month?”

  When he put it like that, I didn’t sound so great. “Yeah…”

  He rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at the ground. There was so much rage in his frame that he didn’t know what to do with it. Normally, he just insulted me because that came naturally. But this was a new kind of rage. “Cane…this is ridiculous. We’re taking her back to Tristan, and we’re getting our weapons or the money.”

  “Whoa, excuse me?” Pearl placed her hands on her hips and glared at my brother. “We’re taking her back? No, we’re doing no such thing. We’re getting that woman home where she belongs.”

  Crow kept his eyes on me and ignored his wife. “Button, not now—”

  “Not now, what?” she hissed. “This is unacceptable.”

  “I’m not taking her back.” I told Adelina I would keep her from Tristan for the full thirty-one-day period. She’d already done stuff for me, so I couldn’t go back on my word to her. “The deal has been made, and we’re sticking to it.”

  Crow shook his head. “You’ve got that wrong. I’ll handle this if I have to.”

  “Crow, I’ll cover your cut.” I had more money than I knew what to do with. If he needed that money up front, then I could wait until Tristan came through.

  “That’s not the point,” Crow hissed. “That’s not how we do business.”

  “I made an exception this one and only time,” I said. “And I’m not going back on it. I’m prepared to take the hit if that’s what it comes down to.”

  Pearl crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me with a look I’d never seen before. She’d been terrified of me once before. She’d been uncomfortable around me many times. But she’d never hated me like this. Even when I nearly killed her, she still didn’t hate me. That look made me feel lower than dirt. “I can’t believe this. After everything I’ve been through, you’re gonna turn around and rape some poor woman?” She got in my face and shoved me as hard as she could, making me stumble back slightly.

  I didn’t touch her out of respect for my brother.

  She slapped me across the face, hitting me so hard on the cheek I knew my skin would turn red.

  But I still didn’t do anything.

  “How can you possibly think it’s okay?” she demanded. “I’m your sister.”

  “I haven’t raped her. I’ve never made her do anything she didn’t want to do.” I kept myself calm even though my instinct was to push her back. “Everything between us is consensual.”

  “You expect me to believe that?” She pulled her hand back again.

  I grabbed her by the elbow and steadied her. “Crow, handle her before I do something to get shot.”

  That fired her up more, and she lunged at me.

  “Button.” Crow grabbed her by the waist and dragged her away. “He’s right. Enough.”

  “He’s right?” She tried to get back to me, but Crow’s body blocked her path. “You should be hitting him harder than I am.”

  Crow didn’t let his personal beliefs interfere with his work. It didn’t matter how he felt about the situation. He wouldn’t intervene. He kept her away as he turned back to me. “I want the money in my account tomorrow morning.”

  “Fine.” Whatever got him off my back.

  “And we’re never doing a deal like this again. You understand?”

  I knew it was a stupid deal. But when I saw Adelina, I wanted her. “Got it.”

  Crow grabbed Pearl’s hand and pulled her away. “Let’s go.”

  She twisted from his hold and turned back to me. Her hands were balled into fists by her sides, and her eyes were terrifying. Somehow, she reminded me of Crow when she looked that angry. It seemed like she couldn’t find the right words to insult me. Nothing was good enough to explain the pain of my betrayal. “Today, I’m ashamed to be a Barsetti.”

  15

  Crow

  Pearl didn’t speak to me during the drive home. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, and she pivoted her body and stared out the window so she couldn’t see me in her peripheral vision.

  I knew what was coming.

  Despite her anger, all I could think about was my brother’s stupidity. He made an idiotic deal and dragged me into the mix. I never did business that way—no exceptions. I was paid in full up front for all services, and I never failed to deliver exactly what they asked for. Cane pissed me off from time to time, but he was always a great business partner. There was no one else I’d rather have by my side.

  Then he turned on me.

  I had no idea what this woman looked like, but there must be something about her that elicited Cane’s obsession. I wasn’t going to bother trying to understand it. I wouldn’t be surprised if she were unremarkable.

  I still couldn’t believe this happened.

  I didn’t need the money. It’s not like I was low on funds. But it was the principle of the matter. If Cane were going to make a stupid deal, then he would be the only one to suffer if it failed. Everyone involved in the process would be paid, even if it came out of my brother’s pocket. I felt like a parent disciplining a child. My brother was a grown-ass man, but I was still going to swat him on the nose like a dog.

  The silence that filled the car was hostile. Normally, Button and I didn’t speak much. It was something I treasured in our relationship. I wasn’t much of a talker, and it was nice to be with a woman who could simply exist with me and enjoy the quiet. She tolerated my foul moods and didn’t ask too many questions about my coldness. She accepted me exactly as I was—and I loved her for it.

  But this was not one of those peaceful times.

  Normally, she would tell me off for pissing her off. But right now, she was so livid she couldn’t speak. She wanted to throw her fists at my face and cause as much destruction as possible.

  Not that I blamed her.

  We arrived at the house, and the valet returned the car to the garage. It was nearly dinnertime, and I suspected Lars would have something delicious in the kitchen. But judging from Button’s mood, she probably wasn’t going to eat anything.

  “Good evening, Your Grace.” Lars appeared out of the shadows, like always. “Where would you like dinner to be served.”

  Button turned around and locked eyes with me. “His Grace will be eating in the dining room. I’ll take dinner in my bedroom—alone.” She stormed off and flipped her hair over her shoulder, shaking her hips because she was strutting so fast.

  Would I be an ass if I said it turned me on?

  “Of course, Mrs. Barsetti…” Lars turned to me and kept his judgments to himself.

  Button stormed up the stairs and reached the third landing before she disappeared. She was stomping her feet so loudly I could still hear her footsteps until she entered the hallway that led to the bedroom and my office.

  Lars cleared his throat then gave me a slight bow. “Is there anything I can do, sir?”

  “Hold off on dinner. It’s gonna be a while…”

  I stayed in my office for a few hours in the hope she would cool off. If I spoke to her now, she was just going to scream then slap me.

  Which wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

  I enjoyed my scotch and sat in front of the fire as I went through outgoing shipments. Just thinking about the deal with Tristan set me off. They said one beautiful woman was powerful enough to destroy an entire regime. First, it was Helen of Troy and countless others. Now, this new woman seemed to have infiltrated my brother’s reasoning.

  Button had done the same to me.

  I already knew exactly how the argument would go. Nothing would get resolved, and she would despise me. But I knew she wouldn’t leave me—no matter what. She’d accepted all my past transgressions. This was nothing compared to my former crimes.

  After I waited long enough, I finally walked into the bedroom.

  She was sitting on the couch with a book in her lap. A low burning candle sat
on the coffee table, and the fire crackled in the hearth. When she heard the door open, she glanced up and met my look.

  Hatred.

  Her eyes flickered back down, and she kept reading.

  I sat on the couch across from her and stared. When she was angry, she was even prettier than usual. Her eyes stood out better even when she didn’t wear makeup, and that fiery attitude made her face glow on its own. It reminded me of the first time I laid eyes on her. Like a wild bear, she was ferocious and deadly.

  Apparently, that’s how I liked my women.

  After fifteen minutes of silence, she snapped her book shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  Here we go.

  “How can you possibly be okay with this?” She threw the book down and made it thud against the cushion.

  I kept a stoic expression but didn’t give a response.

  “That woman is no different from me. She was taken against her will and subjected to torture. And you’re just going to look the other way?”

  “Button—”

  “Don’t Button me,” she hissed. “This is wrong, and you know it.”

  “If you want me to speak, don’t cut me off.” I didn’t fight with my wife very often, and this was definitely the worst argument we ever had. There was no solution, so I wasn’t sure how we were going to resolve it.

  “Maybe I don’t want you to speak. Maybe I just want you to do the right thing.”

  I rested my hands together in front of my lap and felt the heat from the fireplace. The coffee table was in between us, and I didn’t like the strategic distance she’d created. I’d rather be slapped by her than separated. “What am I supposed to do? This is Cane’s deal, not mine. We both know I have no control over what that man does.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Button, you know I don’t agree with any of it. But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “Yes, you can. We take her from Cane and get her back home.”

  “Taking her from Cane isn’t the problem. She’s on loan.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Her eyes leapt with fire, and I knew she wanted to throw that book right at my head.