Silent Ground Part 2

by Quil Carter

  So, Sasha shifted himself to the far end of the couch, near to where Kheva was sitting.

  “Kheva…?” Sasha whispered. He extended a hand and touched Kheva’s knee. “K-Kheva?”

  It was only when Sasha touched Kheva’s knee did his eyes finally rise up to lock with Sasha’s. Sasha froze, trapped within the dome of Kheva’s oddly-coloured eyes.

  “Sasha,” Kheva said, his voice hushed. He tore his gaze away and took another slow drag of his cigarette, but it wasn’t lit. Kheva rose then, and left the living room, walking towards the kitchen.

  Sasha looked down and saw that there was a lighter right beside the ashtray. He picked it up. “Kheva…” Sasha took a step towards the kitchen, but paused.

  Kheva was now standing in front of the sliding glass door, the unlit cigarette dangling from his fingers before falling to the entrance mat.

  “Kheva…” Sasha whispered. He walked to Kheva and put a hand on his shoulder. “Come sit down.” He glanced out the glass door, hoping to see Kel outside feeding the chickens, healthy, walking well… but there was nothing but the warm sun bathing the green and yellow grass in the field, the chicken coop, and further on, the shed.

  Where’s Kel?

  Fuck, Kheva… tell me you didn’t kill him.

  “Kheva, come sit down,” Sasha said again. He gently grasped Kheva’s hand, and leaned down and picked up the cigarette.

  Kheva turned, and to Sasha’s relief, he began walking back to the living room. Sasha sat him down on the couch, and took the seat beside him, close enough that their legs were touching.

  Sasha lit the cigarette and handed it to him, his mind screaming just one question at the top of his lungs.

  But Kheva was either not intuned, or he didn’t want to answer.

  There were so many things inside of Sasha’s mind that he had to sort through, he didn’t even know where to begin. One thing was obvious, he was in shock, there was no other explanation as to why he wasn’t losing his mind with guilt and fear over what had happened.

  Or maybe it was because he knew right now, Kheva needed him strong. What a strange thing to say even inside of one’s own head. The Master Nightcrawler, the most powerful man in the world, needed Sasha strong right now.

  And that’s exactly what Sasha would be for him.

  Sasha’s head turned when Kheva let out a stifled choke, and his heart seized upon seeing Kheva’s face tight and trembling, as if he was holding back a complete breakdown.

  Which Sasha knew he was.

  Sasha put his arm around Kheva’s back. “It’s okay,” he whispered. He shifted closer to Kheva and tightened his hold. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. You can count on me, I promise you, you can.”

  Kheva’s eyes shut tight. “I couldn’t let go of him,” he said through locked teeth, his tone a stressed whine. “I couldn’t. I should have, but I couldn’t and I still couldn’t.”

  Couldn’t let him go… was he talking about Kel? Kel was alive? Or…

  No, I think I know what he means. “Rob?” Sasha whispered. “You couldn’t let go of… Rob?”

  A single tear tripped down Kheva’s cheek, one he quickly wiped away. “Rob and I found each other. It was wonderful for a while, but I realized he was very sick,” Kheva said quietly. “He was only safe with me. Only I could control him. If I didn’t… if I hadn’t done it, he’d still be hurting people.”

  Sasha was taken aback. He wasn’t expecting that explanation at all. “Rob was dangerous?” Sasha whispered. How so? Was his nightcrawler abilities hurting people? Or hurting himself like Sasha had been? Sasha wasn’t going to ask, maybe later, but not now.

  Kheva nodded. “Extremely,” he whispered. He took a long drag of his cigarette, his hands trembling. “I ended up… I ended up creating Kel. My beautiful Keluva. But Rob… he kept breaking through. I became the powerful nightcrawler I am today through using my abilities on him, but he… always broke through.”

  “How… could you discover Kel inside of him?” Sasha asked. He reached over and pinched a cigarette out of the pack and drew it out. “I… barely understand how it works.”

  Kheva was still, before slowly he drew breath into his lungs. “When under intense emotional stress,” he began, “your inner mind ends up slowly creating a new personality, a personality that your mind believes will be able to cope. This can happen in non-nightcrawlers subject to horrific abuse, but with us, it’s more tangible. The remains of that person can still be hidden inside of them, always wanting to break out.

  “I knew I could no longer deal with Rob.” Kheva dashed his cigarette. “So, I tortured him; I destroyed him. Of course, he wasn’t happy with this; he fought me at every turn. But eventually, through much worse than you’ve endured, Kel was created.

  Sasha absorbed this information, but there was a lingering question. “But why was Kel made submissive and kind of… child-like almost?”

  “I helped mold Rob’s second personality,” Kheva answered. “Once Kel was created, I spoke with him inside Silent Ground, nurtured him and loved him. I made him strong until he finally took over.”

  A chill settled in the base of Sasha’s spine and slowly crept up. “Would that ever happen to me?” A disturbing thought entered Sasha’s head. “Is that… is that another reason why you were torturing me? You wanted a second Kel?”

  Kheva, for a moment, seemed lost in thought. “Why would I? There was nothing wrong with you,” he said. “You’re not dangerous, just sad and lost. In need of someone who knew what they were doing.”

  Sasha’s lips pursed tight. “You… felt sorry for me?”

  Kheva, staring down at his cigarette, gave a small nod. “You reminded me of someone I used to know.”

  There was a pause, before Sasha said in a dropped tone. “Kheva… did I remind you of you?”

  Silence.

  And after that silence had spread throughout the room and settled like dust, Kheva spoke.

  “Yes,” he whispered. Then his eyes filled with pain and stress, and Sasha knew what he was thinking.

  Kheva knew that Sasha had seen those terrible memories, and if Sasha hadn’t had the Dead Zone, Kheva would’ve known it was his fault that Rob had access to them.

  And that Rob had been using those memories to somehow build up a resistance to Kheva’s abilities, and to able himself to attack Kheva as well.

  “I don’t really know what to say,” Sasha said. “Except… that’s really fucked up and I’m sorry that was your life before you… you became the scary badass I know now.”

  “Enjoy the power while you can, nightcrawler,” Kheva said bitterly. “The moment I am strong enough I’m going to yank those––”

  “Stop it,” Sasha said, his tone harsh, harsher than he’d intended. “I don’t look at you differently. If anything… I have even more respect for you now. I admire you more than I did before. I know – I know why you’re as strong as you are. You’re not just some arrogant sadistic asshole anymore, you’re…” Sasha paused, wondering if he was burying himself into a deeper pit. “Jesus, Kheva…you’re something.”

  Kheva was silent, his eyes still looking at the cigarette, a quarter inch of ash now on the tip. Sasha watched him, wondering if he was going to say anything, but the seconds turned into minutes and the only thing that changed was the growing ash, until finally gravity had it falling to the floor in between Kheva’s feet. He was wearing jeans and a navy-blue button-down now, Sasha was also dressed, but he hadn’t had time to notice what.

  “What – what’s your name?” Sasha suddenly whispered.

  More silence, something that seemed to be in abundance this afternoon. But there was something different about this silence, like if you tuned yourself on the right frequency, you could hear the sounds of screaming. Many, many voices screaming.

  Sasha was about to give up, to ask another question or do something to fill this weighted air that seemed intent on crushing their shoulders, both of them.

  Then Kheva spoke
.

  “Gabriel.”

  My angel…

  “Are the men who hurt you, who sold you… are they all dead?”

  Kheva nodded.

  “Did you kill them?”

  Kheva nodded again.

  “Mother?”

  “We don’t have biological parents, nightcrawler,” Kheva said quietly. “The first generation doesn’t either, and we’re not even supposed to exist.”

  Sasha stared, confused at this. “What do you… mean…?”

  “I’ve told you about the first generation, the ones we stay away from,” Kheva said. He unfolded the pocket knife he’d kept on his knee, and tested the blade on his thumb. “We’re their improved versions. Unfortunately though, we ended up even more fucked up than them.”

  Sasha continued to stare at Kheva, all intelligent questions going out with this odd admission. What was Kheva talking about? He’d heard about the first generation, but the information Kheva gave on the origins of nightcrawlers were shoddy at best. “Improved versions? Kheva, I don’t understand. What the fuck are we? Is this genetic?”

  “In a way.”

  “Is… is my uncle one? Was my father? My – my mother?”

  “Your uncle isn’t a nightcrawler,” Kheva said. He reached for Sasha’s hand, Sasha gave it to him willingly. “I would’ve been able to tell. I don’t know your origins, Sasha. I barely know my own. All I know, is we’re the second generation. The first is powerful in their own unique way, but as for mental abilities, we trump theirs easily. Unfortunately, we have our own weaknesses.” Kheva pierced Sasha’s arm with the knife and dug the blade in; Sasha winced but allowed Kheva to draw the blood he knew he needed.

  Kheva rose and walked into his office, leaving Sasha holding his bleeding arm. What had started out as Sasha seeking answers had only given him more questions, the biggest of all still not answered.

  What did you do to Kel?

  Fuck, Kheva, please tell me he’s alive. The Kel we both know, not – not Rob.

  Kheva returned with a small silver shot glass and when he sat, he put it underneath Sasha’s bleeding arm. There he sat for several minutes, massaging the blood out of Sasha’s arm and into the slowly filling glass.

  “You could probably get more from the freezer,” Sasha said quietly when he glanced in the shot glass. There was only a couple centimeters of blood, not enough for Kheva’s usual dose.

  “Fresh works better,” Kheva replied. “It’s bad enough you’ve already seen me weak, but I’m about to get weaker.”

  “Kheva… you’re not weak,” Sasha whispered. “You’re the strongest guy I––”

  “You’ve seen me weak, it is not okay!” Kheva suddenly snapped, causing Sasha to jump. “None of this is fucking okay! Everything – fucking everything – has fallen apart. Everything!” His tone was rising quickly, Sasha could feel the panic gathering like the moments before the Big Bang. “I didn’t see this! How couldn’t I have seen this!?”

  “Kheva!” Sasha said sharply. He grabbed onto Kheva’s shoulder and turned the man towards him. “We’ll fix it. Whatever is ruined, we’ll fix it.”

  Kheva stared back at him with desperate eyes, eyes that showed an internal fight to the death. There was no need to guess, Sasha could sense it on his master: It was a fight against wanting badly to accept the comfort of help, of an ally who would help him fix what had been broken, and the stone-cold stubbornness of a man who commanded his two nightcrawlers to call him Master, who would see accepting help from one of them the greatest show of weakness.

  “I don’t see you any different,” Sasha whispered. “Just for fuck sakes, let me help you like I helped you with Gavin, and like we worked together to take down Rob.” Kheva’s eyes then widened, and the despair took him.

  And Sasha knew it was time to ask the question that had been eating him.

  “Kheva… where’s Kel?”

  Without warning, Kheva burst to his feet, Sasha did too as the man ran to the kitchen where he was sick in the sink.

  Violently sick. Sasha watched as Kheva’s legs shook, his hand grasping the corner of the granite with a white-knuckle grip. Sasha was soon racing over, but before he had a chance to catch Kheva, his knees buckled and he slid to the ground.

  “I couldn’t do it,” Kheva gasped. Sasha grabbed one of the tea towels that hung on the rail of the oven tried to wipe the vomit dripping down Kheva’s chin. “I couldn’t do it.”

  “Where is he?” Sasha whispered, relief washing him from tip to toes. He looked behind him and out the window, still hoping to see the insane yet sweet man throwing the ball of Jye, or working on the strawberry patch that he was so proud of.

  Kheva only shook his head, his eyes closing. He clenched the granite hard, hard enough for the tips of his fingernails to become pale then red as they were pushed from his skin.

  “You’re not allowed to look for him,” Kheva said through clenched teeth. “If you do, I will know. You’re not allowed, Sasha. Do you hear me? Not physically, not mentally, you’re not allowed.” In a flash, a hand grabbed Sasha’s collar, and Kheva’s manic eyes burrowed deep holes into Sasha’s own. “Do you understand me? Promise me!”

  “Okay,” Sasha said hastily. What truth there was in his words he didn’t know. If Kel was out there somewhere…

  It was Sasha’s fault he was out there, somewhere.

  Fuck, I’d let Rob in. I let Rob in. I invited this man into my head.

  “Listen to me, nightcrawler,” Kheva said through inhales of ragged breathing. “I’m about to get extremely sick. If you want me to survive this, you can’t bring Kel in range where Rob can find me. Do you understand?”

  Sasha stared at him. What have I done? What the fuck have I––

  Suddenly Kheva’s body lurched back. Sasha caught him before he could fall to the floor, but it was taking every shred of his strength to keep him upright. Alarm seized him, something was fucking wrong with Kheva. Something bad. “What’s happening to you?” Sasha said quickly. With all of his strength, he hoisted Kheva so he was upright again, the man’s eyes now unfocused and his breathing laboured. “Do you need blood? What? What is it?”

  Kheva tried to push Sasha away but he was too weak, and when he attempted to rise, Sasha had to hold him up with almost all of his weight. “Just – just get me to the couch,” Kheva gasped, his breathing becoming uneven beats on an unfinished song. “I expended a lot of energy this morning. Rob took advantage of that.” Slowly, Sasha led Kheva to the couch, and he helped him sit down. Sasha sat beside him, and even though he was worried, he found himself slipping easily into the role of caretaker. There was time to fall apart later, right now Kheva needed him.

  Just like Kel was going to need him.

  They may not be Jobe and Lex––but they were also…

  Sasha caught himself, or perhaps his pride caught him.

  No, it’s true.

  They’re my family now.

  Both of them.

  Sasha rose once Kheva was sitting, and got the box of medical items in the closet. He pulled out a syringe and tie-off and sat back down. He was good at this now, after having to replenish their frozen stock there was no vein in his arm that he couldn’t draw blood from.

  He extracted the first barrel of blood, and turned to Kheva.

  Sasha tried to stifle down the further alarm when he saw the state of the Master Nightcrawler. He was pale and trembling, his lips chattering and his breathing desperately out of sync. This was the most rapid of declines that he’d ever seen, Kheva had never told him it was this bad for him. What the fuck had Rob done? It was like he was going to keel over and die at any moment.

  “Master… open your mouth,” Sasha whispered. He patted his cheek. “Come on.”

  Kheva’s brow furrowed, his eyes fixed forward. There was confusion on him now, like he didn’t even know what was happening. Sasha patted his cheek again, but when he got no other response, he slipped the needle in between Kheva’s lips and began injecting the
blood into his mouth.

  He didn’t move, thankfully, and began to swallow it. “Good boy,” Sasha praised. He wasn’t doing this to be cute, he knew if there was any shred of awareness left in Kheva’s head he would smack Sasha across the room for that quip.

  But there was absolutely nothing, and that worried Sasha the most. Why didn’t Kheva warn him that something like this was about to happen? Sasha would’ve made the wound in his arm bigger.

  Sasha squirted in the rest of the blood and collected the stray bit dripping down his chin. “I’m not sure if you need more than that,” he whispered. “You should’ve taught me how to take care of you, instead of just the property and the serval. But I guess in your head that would’ve made you appear weak, right?” Sasha sighed, and in spite of the apparent dangers, he stroked Kheva’s hair back gently, then touched his cheek. “I wish Kel was here.” Sasha’s eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against Kheva’s shoulder. “But he’s far away now, isn’t he?”

  Kel was gravely injured… can I trust that Kheva would give him to someone to take care of? Just… far away from Kheva himself? Maybe Nik or Sterling have him?

  I have no choice, I need to force myself to believe that that is what he’s done. Kheva wouldn’t let Kel die. Those two go together like knives and guns, there’s no way Kheva would do that to his own nightcrawler.

  Sasha leaned his head back; he took in a deep breath and filled his lungs, then opened his eyes and found the now empty syringe.

  He gave Kheva two more barrels of blood, then laid his sick master down on the couch and got him a blanket. Kheva was awake, but in an organic sense only. His eyes were open but there was no focus to them, the once powerful nightcrawler was staring off into nothing, his face grey, his lips tinged with blue, and his body trembled no matter how many blankets Sasha put on top of him.

  While he was draping the last blanket on him, Jye came through the cat door. He sauntered into the living room with his head hung low, and upon seeing Kheva, he walked over and began sniffing his face.

  “He’s sick right now,” Sasha told the serval quietly. “Hopefully he’ll get better soon, but until then, I may talk to you a lot since there’s no one else around.”