Silent Ground Part 2

by Quil Carter

  Would Kheva give Sasha a new name too?

  Jobe looked up when he heard a heartwrenching noise, and saw Lex crying into his hands.

  “Baby…” Jobe cried, his own eyes stinging with tears. “I’m sorry, baby, please don’t cry.”

  “I’m so fucking confused,” Lex cried, his head shaking back and forth. “I don’t know what the hell to think. What the fuck to feel… he’s come back a different man, and I’m so thankful he seems put together, confident, taking control… but holy fuck, Jobe, that’s not Sasha. How can that be Sasha? I saw that fucking mentally retarded maniac doing awful things to him, and Sasha is nurturing him like he’s his fucking boyfriend?”

  When Jobe came over, Lex tried to back away. “Don’t, don’t tell me you’re right. It can’t be that, it just can’t fucking be that.”

  Jobe sighed and put his arms around Lex. “I don’t want it to be that either, baby. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. But if it’s that… we can find a way to fix him, right?”

  Lex sniffed, and Jobe felt Lex’s arms hold him back. “I just want everything to fucking go back to normal. It would be better for Sasha, we could help him this time. It’s not like I’m asking for him to be miserable again, I just… I just want him to be Sasha again.”

  “I know, baby,” Jobe whispered. “He’s alive though. Just… keep being thankful he’s alive.”

  But even though he’s alive, even though he’s back––There’s something profoundly different about him. He’s just… different.

  “Our goal right now is to keep him away from Kheva,” Jobe whispered. “If Sasha’s mind has been fucked with, like Kheva did Rob… we have to protect him from that asshole.”

  Lex nodded. “What about Nate? Sasha fucking hates him, Jo. He’s already shown he’ll hurt him. What the hell do we do?”

  That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? What the hell do we do?

  “I don’t think it’s safe for him to be here anymore,” Jobe said quietly. “But I don’t want to just kick him out. How fucked up would that be? Once we found Rob we just cut him out of the deal.” Jobe sighed, but then a thought came to him. “I could let him stay at my house. It’s not like I’m in there right now. We can put him there, just to keep him away from Sasha, and see if we can get some information out of Sasha… about ways to change Kel back to Rob.”

  Lex pulled away, wiping his tear-stained eyes with the side of his hand. “I like that idea,” he said. “Sasha’s calmer when Nate isn’t around. Bug’s been through a fucked-up ordeal, maybe things will improve once the chaos around him dims down. He has been on overdrive since he found Kel out in those woods.” He looked at Jobe with hopeful eyes. “It’s probably just that, Jobe.” The way he was saying it, the pleading behind it. Jobe was skeptical, but there wasn’t a single blood cell in his body that would break the hope Lex was scraping for.

  So Jobe forced a smile, and even though his heart was tumbling down a rock face, he kept it and made it as convincing as he could. “You’re probably right,” he said. “Nate’s just being paranoid, and maybe so am I.”

  Lex seemed relieved, and his head nodded again. “I am right,” he said, and with an unstable hand, he reached for the whisky and took another drink. “I fucking gotta be.”

  There was silence for quite a while after that, they both drank from their whiskies and listened to the silence of the house. But finally, the milieu was broken when Lex spoke.

  “I, um…” he began. “I want to apologize for what I said to you the other day. Blaming what happened on you…”

  “Oh…” Jobe swirled his whisky, the ice cubes now melted. “It’s alright. We were both under a lot of stress, and as long as Sasha doesn’t find out, no harm, no foul, right?”

  Lex’s throat flexed as he swallowed. “I told myself I’d never admit it out loud but… it was… it was nice. I felt better the next morning. I’ve been so fucking tense, we both have, and I think we were close to cracking. We needed some sort of comfort.”

  There was no masking the surprise on Jobe’s face. That was the last thing he’d expected to hear from Lex. “Really?” Jobe said. He could feel himself flush, and he searched himself for how he felt about the entire event. With what had happened the next morning, there really wasn’t much time to reflect on it, and when Jobe did, it was usually through vigorous swearing. It was through beating himself up for letting it happen. It was a mistake, wasn’t it?

  “Yeah,” Lex said, swallowing again. “I mean, it’s not like it changes our friendship or anything, right? We’ve been put through hell this last month, and beforehand as Sasha spiralled down. None of us have boyfriends, we only have each other. Fuck it, we deserved some comfort that night, and only the two of us understand what the other is going through, right?”

  Jobe stared at him, taken aback and more; but in that shock, there was a thankfulness. He’d been worried that things between him and Lex would be different, weird. It wasn’t like they’d even had a chance to be weird with everything that had happened.

  Lex chuckled. “Stop looking at me like that,” he said, his cheeks going red.

  “You were screaming pretty loudly at me that morning,” Jobe said with a blink. “Don’t blame me for thinking I’ve crossed into another dimension.” Then he leaned in. “You’re blushing.”

  “I am not.”

  Jobe laughed. “You are too!” he exclaimed, then he leaned over and flicked Lex’s cheek. “Bright red. Bright fuckin’ red, Alexander.”

  “Piss off,” Lex laughed, jerking his head back and slapping Jobe’s hand away. “You’re seeing things. Get the hell away from me.”

  Jobe, grinning, pulled his hand away, then shyly grabbed his drink. “It’s been stressful, thinkin’ we just fucked something up… so I’m glad to hear you say that. One less thing to worry about. We got enough to worry about.”

  “Yeah, we do.” Lex drained the rest of his glass, then his green eyes flickered up. “So…?”

  Jobe stared back––and blinked. “So…?”

  Lex smirked. “Take an inch, take a mile?”

  Jobe continued to stare at Lex, before with an inaudible click, his eyes widened. “Are you fucking serious?”

  Lex rose. “I’m on the brink of an anxiety attack, Jobe. I’m worried sick about my magical mentally ill kid, and his even mentally-iller new, duo-personality, magical, rapist best friend, and I’m seriously considering taking up a drug habit to help me cope. I’m at the end of my rope right now, and Nate is asleep and Sasha is gone. I know you’re just as stressed as me, so…? You want to?”

  Jobe buried his face into his hands and groaned. “You are serious? Lex… what if Sasha finds out?”

  “He won’t. He’s gone, and he can’t read humans only other nightwalkers.”

  “Nightcrawlers.” Jobe threw his hands down, a desperate look on his face. “I’m buzzed, I’m not drunk, Lex. This… this isn’t a good idea.”

  Lex grabbed the bottle of whisky and began to walk towards the stairs. “Okay, Jobe. I’m going to take my whisky bottle up to my bedroom and jerk off until I don’t feel like I’m going to stroke out from stress. Which will be a while. If you want to join me, you can.” And with that, Lex carried on up the stairs.

  Jobe just stared at him, glued to his seat with the desperate expression becoming all the more solidified.

  “Sasha… Sasha won’t find out?” Jobe said. “Jesus fucking Christ, Lex. Swear to me Sasha will never find out.”

  “Not through me he won’t,” Lex said as he continued to climb the stairs, the bottle to his lips.

  Jobe swore under his breath, closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair.

  Then he rose––and followed behind Lex.

  CHAPTER 34

  Sasha smiled as Jye ran around the yard, the serval excitedly chasing around a laser pointer dot that Jobe was holding on the back balcony of Lex’s house. It had been Jobe’s idea, which was a stroke of genius, and ever since it hadn’t been that ha
rd to tire Jye out.

  And that serval seemed to have an endless supply of energy. He was beginning to get antsy being indoors all the time, and had even made his distaste known by pissing against Sasha’s living room wall.

  “He’s so fucking fast!” Jobe exclaimed as Jye dashed from one side of the yard to the other. “He’s like a little cheetah, I swear. If I had acres and acres of property, I’d get one in a second.”

  “I think he also keeps the wild animals away from the chickens,” Sasha said. He walked into the yard when finally Jye gave up on catching the little red dot and flopped down onto the grass, his tongue panting and his dark eyes tired. “You’ve been really good adjusting here, buddy, except for the piss thing of course.” He scratched Jye in between the ears and clicked his lead on. Earlier today they’d gotten a long chain for him and had tied it to one of the support beams holding up the deck. They still had to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t get tangled up, but it allowed Jye to stay outside longer.

  Jobe walked down the balcony’s steps, and slipped the laser pointer into his pocket. “You want to have some lunch? Cold pizza?”

  “Sure,” Sasha said. They both walked in, leaving the door open behind them. “I still have a couple more hours until I need to pick up Kel.” This statement alone brought a surge of excitement to his chest. Kel was coming home today, or, well, his temporary home anyway. He was recovering well after his allergic reaction, and his surgery was healing perfectly too.

  Sasha couldn’t begin to express how relieved he was that Kel was well-enough to be discharged, and since Nate was now gone, there would be nothing to worry about when bringing him back to the house.

  It was day three now, late afternoon. Sasha was supposed to go back to Ciel Lake today, but he’d decided that tomorrow morning would be a better time. It was only a half-day difference, and the chickens would be fine. Hopefully though, Kheva would be awake and back to his normal self.

  The excitement that had been sparking and snapping inside of him, soured and turned into concentrated anxiety.

  “What’s wrong, buggy?” Jobe asked, his tone cheerful but inquisitive. Sasha had to wonder if he was turning on the happiness just for him, since things had been rather tense since the incident last night.

  With what had happened with Nate…

  Jobe and Lex were tense because of Sasha using his abilities on Nate, but Sasha was feeling the iron vice around his nerves for an entirely different reason.

  He was going to have to go back to Ciel Lake, and confess everything to Kheva. Something that might be the equivalent of signing his death warrant.

  The chaos that had surrounded him like a dome of electricity, trapping him inside of its sphere of claustrophobic chaos, had prevented Sasha from dwelling on what he had to do. But now that stifling enclosure was lifting, the air was clearing, the worry surrounding Kel was evaporating, but in its place, was anxiety and fear in concentrated form.

  And a rot inside of his gut that was festering by the hour.

  “Just a lot on my mind,” Sasha said. He sat down on the old 70’s thrift store chair he had tucked into his dining room table and leaned back on it.

  “Want to share?” Jobe pressed start on the microwave and pulled up the second chair. “We haven’t, you know, had much of a chance to talk since you arrived.” He scooted the chair closer so their knees were touching. “I miss our talks.”

  I miss our talks too… but the fact of the matter is…

  I can’t really tell you what’s on my mind.

  “We’ve been spending loads of time together,” Sasha said. He poked Jobe in the chest and smiled. “Surely your damn snuggle meter is full?”

  “Never!” Jobe rose and got behind Sasha, then wrapped his arms around his chest. “It’s going to be months until I stop cuddling the fuck out of you. You’re mine, buggy, mine mine mine.” As he said this, Jobe buried his face into the crook of Sasha’s neck. Sasha snorted at this and began to laugh; he was ticklish in many places, and the neck was one of them.

  Jobe certainly did know how to make a man feel wanted, feel special and loved.

  “I missed you, Jobe,” Sasha said. He raised a hand and stroked back Jobe’s crinkly black hair. “You’re such a calming influence. You…” Sasha hesitated, but decided to say it anyway. “You have no idea how difficult it’s been having to be the leader… I miss having everyone tell me what to do sometimes. It feels like there’s been a thousand pounds on my shoulders.”

  The microwave beeped, but before Jobe unwrapped his arms, Sasha felt a kiss on his temple. “I’m really proud of you for stepping up and helping Kel. It must’ve been terrifying finding him after coming home to the lake house empty.”

  Jobe turned to Sasha, just in time to see the pull on his lips.

  “That’s… not what happened, is it?”

  Sasha’s eyes flickered to Jobe. “N-no, it was,” he said hastily. But then, he just sighed and shook his head. “No, that wasn’t what happened…”

  “I didn’t think so.” Plates clinked and shifted as Jobe dished up their pizza, then Sasha’s was set in front of him. “Um… did… he hurt Kel?”

  He…

  Sasha’s mouth twisted to the side. “It was a big mess,” he said quietly, his body shifting nervously in his seat. “I don’t really want to talk about it…”

  “Sash,” Jobe sighed. “You know I just want to help, and I want to understand just what the heck went on there. You’ve been acting so erratic at times, and so different. Buggy, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  Erratic and different…

  “Me not being all depressed and masochistic is different and erratic?” Sasha said, staring down at his food. “Don’t you mean I’ve been actually taking control of my life and acting like an adult and not a screw up?”

  “Baby, you were never a screw up…”

  “Why do I always get the feeling that you and Lex want me to go back to the person I used to be? Like you two want to keep me down so you can take care of me?” Sasha’s tone was bitter, and that bitter-feeling was spreading quickly.

  “That’s not true,” Jobe said firmly. “Stop saying that shit. I was just asking, because I care and I want to know. You haven’t talked at all about your time there, pumpkin, and I’m worried about you. Lex is too.” As he said this, Jobe reached over for the bottle of Jack Daniels he’d brought down, and took a swig of it.

  “You’ve been drinking a lot since I’ve arrived…” Sasha said slowly. He took a bite out of his pizza. “Both of you have. How much have you had to drink today?”

  Jobe’s eyes narrowed. He skidded a glass towards himself and poured some of the whisky into it. “I haven’t had any all day,” he said, the comment obviously ruffling his feathers. “Shit’s been stressful, you know that. I’m worried about you; I’m worried about Nate; I’m worried about fucking everyone… and we all have our vices.” He offered the bottle to Sasha, and after contemplating it, Sasha took it from him and poured himself a glass.

  “Yeah, I get it. I missed drinking,” Sasha said. “I had the occasional glass of wine, and I’d finish off Kheva’s glasses, but that was about it. No drugs, no alcohol, I didn’t even get weed.” Sasha extended his arms and showed Jobe. “Look at that. I have a tan, I’m getting muscles…” He shook his head and grabbed the tumbler he’d just poured. “You say you’re worried about me but… look at how much better I am.”

  “Sash…” Jobe began to fidget with the bottle of whisky. “You know that’s not what we mean. Lex and I see the differences in you, the improvements, but you gotta admit… you’ve been acting different. Can’t you see why we’re worried?”

  “It’s not him! That’s not Sasha!”

  Sasha glared at the wall, Nate’s frantic voice coming to him with clarity. “Nate.” He said it with a growl in his throat, every time that little shiteater was brought up, the magma beneath his skin bubbled up like a fissure in a lava flow. “He’s filling your head with shit. I’m
not like Kel, do I fucking act mentally stunted? He’s an idiot and he’s trying to turn you two against me.” The nerve of that son of a bitch…

  “No, Sasha, he isn’t,” Jobe said firmly. “He’s just scared and you haven’t really been that nice towards him.”

  Annoyance pricked Sasha, like Jobe’s words were sewing needles jabbing his skin. “He fucking charged himself towards Kel! Confusing and frightening him when he was near death after being pushed down a flight… a fl-” Sasha’s lips pursed, about the same moment that Jobe’s dark eyes widened.

  “Fucking… what?”

  Sasha shook his head and took another swig. “It’s complicated,” he said, wondering just how to explain it and where to begin. “Kheva…” Sasha looked around, as if expecting someone to be sneaking in to listen, and leaned in. “You can’t fucking tell Nate. I swear to god, Jobe. You cannot fucking tell Nate and you have to promise me.” Sasha took Jobe’s hand and squeezed it hard. “Promise me, you’ll be on my side with this Kel and Rob thing. Rob’s better off gone, believe me; I’ve talked to him, I know him. Promise me you’ll be on my side, you’ll trust me.”

  Jobe’s dark brown eyes looked down at Sasha’s hand, clasping his own tight, and his Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow. He was quiet for a moment, and even though it stung that Jobe was actually having to think about Sasha’s plea… it was better than him just blindly agreeing.

  “Sasha… Nate’s a good friend but… baby, I’m always in your corner, you know that,” Jobe said softly, and he squeezed Sasha’s hand back with a faint smile.

  The relief was palatable. “Thanks, Jobe,” Sasha said, his body suddenly feeling lighter. Slowly but surely, Jobe’s warmth and love was seeping through the closed off, hardened areas of Sasha’s mind. It had been so long since he’d accepted the security and comfort from Jobe, a feeling that Sasha would ache for in the dead of night, when he was lying in bed, or on the patio lounger, bruised, battered, and bloody.

  All those nights after Kel had assaulted me… I wished, until tears were falling down my cheeks, for Jobe to be holding me; for Jobe to tell me that everything was going to be okay.