Dark Becoming (An Ema Marx Novel Book 3)

by J. D. Brown

  Maria rolled her eyes. She took my hand and placed the pregnancy test into my palm. “Duty calls, darling.”

  “Do you need a drink?” Jesu asked. His shoulders hunched and he wrung his hands over one another in his lap. He’d never looked more lost or out of place before, which struck me as odd. I thought Jesu would still be mad about the scar.

  “I’m all right,” I said. Except I wasn’t. Not really. In all my twenty-three years of life, I’ve never experienced a pregnancy scare. Now I knew why they called it a scare. I wanted to throw up. Are you there, God? It’s me, Ema. You owe me one, so I’m cashing in, okay?

  I took a deep breath and went to the bathroom. I really wished—not for the first time—that my side of the shared lavatory had a door instead of a curtain. I drew the thick brocade fabric across the threshold and then set the box on the non-broken side of the sink.

  Okay, I pep-talked myself. Don’t think about it. Just do it and get it over with. Like a band-aid. I opened the box, unwrapped the applicator, and then went to the toilet and did my thing. I got more urine on my hand than anything else.

  Gross.

  I placed the wet applicator on the back of the toilet and then waddled to the sink to wash my hands before pulling up my underwear and pants. Now to play the waiting game. How long would this take anyway? I grabbed the instructions booklet. Some light reading would help pass the time.

  Shoot, the directions said to hold the applicator at a forty-five degree angle and pee on it for a full thirty seconds. Then it said to replace the cap to prevent contamination from air born particles. I threw the cap in the trash and left the applicator on the back of the toilet seat. There was bound to be some contaminating particles in that area. Good thing the box came with a second test. I repeated the process, following the directions exactly. I still got more urine on my hands than the stick. I replaced the cap and set the applicator on the sink counter before re-washing my hands.

  Maria cleared her throat. “Everything all right in there, dear?”

  “Fine,” I called out, but my legs were trembling. Oh God, I can’t do this. I went to the curtain and flung it aside.

  Maria and Jesu shot to their feet. “Well?”

  “I can’t look.”

  They both took a voluntary step forward.

  Was I the only one that had reservations about this? I held out a hand, palm forward, and stopped them. “I changed my mind. I want to be the one to look.”

  Jesu lifted his brow. “Are you sure?”

  “You bet. I’ll be right back.” I marched back to the sink before I could lose my marbles. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath. Okay, here we go. All I have to do is glance down…

  I studied the applicator for a full minute, trying to work out any possibility that my eyes were playing tricks on me. Eventually, I had to face the truth.

  Shit.

  I turned and looked at the other applicator on the back of the toilet.

  Double shit.

  They were both positive.

  I walked out of the bathroom and calmly sat on the side of the bed. Jesu and Maria waited, but I couldn’t find my voice. I’m pregnant. No maybe’s or what-if’s. I’m going to be a mom. The Crone knew. Jesu’s premonition is right. I’m going to give birth, just like he foretold. If that premonition was correct, then what kept his other premonition from also being correct? Jesu saw a human fighting Apollyon. I was a vampyre. His premonition wasn’t about me, and that could only mean one thing—Jesu would eventually leave.

  Maria’s shadow moved in the corner of my vision. She went into the bathroom, retuned a moment later, and nodded. Jesu released a heavy sigh. Were they happy? Sad? I didn’t know. I couldn’t look at them. What was I?

  Scared. I was scared.

  Maria murmured something about an ultrasound and prenatal vitamins. Jesu flipped open his cellphone and pressed a series of buttons while she talked.

  “Jesu,” I said, surprised at how small my voice sounded.

  They both stopped what they were doing. Jesu came and knelt in front of me. His ice blue hands covered mine. “Yes?”

  “I… I’m kind of thirsty.”

  His gaze rounded in awe and he jumped to his feet. “I will get you something.”

  He dashed out of the room. Maria sat beside me and hugged me tight. “There is no need to worry, dear. Motherhood is the most wonderful of gifts.”

  If that was true, then why did I still have the urge to vomit?

  “Maria,” I whispered. “The contract… it’s almost dusk.”

  She leaned back and looked me in the eyes. “Do not concern yourself over that, I will take care of it. I’ll explain everything to Nikolas.”

  “No, Maria, I want to sign it. I need to sign it.”

  She bit her lip. “Ema, there is something I must tell you. Elite training—”

  “Is for a minimum of twenty years in Antarctica. I know.”

  She furrowed her brow and gave me a sideways glance. “Then… you can’t possibly still want to do this. The baby…?”

  I placed a hand on hers and sighed. “Maria, the truth is I’ve suspected this for a little while now. The alliance might have been Nikolas’ idea initially, but I knew I needed an ally and resource and, well, a second family.” I glanced at my stomach. “The Aplan crown will be required to care for it in my absence. That’s better than risking the poor thing becoming an orphan.”

  Her lips thinned into an apologetic frown. “I wouldn’t have agreed to help if I knew you were with child. Don’t sign the contract, Ema. There are other ways.”

  “No.” I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head before opening them. “Please don’t try to talk me out of it. My mind is made up. My child will not live in the same world as Aplloyon. I’m going to defeat him, but not without Nikolas’ resources. Please, Maria. I don’t need a meeting with Nikolas or Tancred or the queen. I just need to sign a piece of paper. Get me that contract, and tell no one about the pregnancy, understand?”

  She nodded. “You are making a very brave sacrifice.”

  Jesu’s footsteps sounded in the tower stairs, so Maria and I let the conversation end. A few moments later, he let himself into the room and handed me a glass of blood. Though I instantly salivated at the ruby sight, I managed to set the glass on the nightstand and leave it be.

  “Thank you,” I said to Jesu.

  “Any time.” He smoothed his palms over the side of his jeans, then shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “So, what did I miss?”

  Maria glanced at me, moving only her eyes. I knew she waited for my cue to know if I wanted to tell Jesu about my decision concerning the contract. Bridget was dead wrong about Maria. So the details concerning the Elite slipped her mind, so what? I was also to blame for not asking.

  I wet my lips and glanced at my lap. I should tell Jesu, but he’d only get upset and try to talk me out of it. Besides, how did you tell the man you loved that he was in love with someone else? That wasn’t exactly a casual conversation. I decided to discuss it with him later, when we were alone. Luckily, I already had something else on my mind.

  “I have a plan to get Valafar’s attention.”

  Jesu pursed his lips. “Shouldn’t we be talking about diapers, cradles, that sort of thing?”

  I ignored him. “I need an herb called Adders Tongue. Lots of it.”

  Maria perked. “Of course! The smoke throws off their power.”

  “I’m also going to need a large secluded place to stage an attack.”

  “Hold on,” Jesu demanded. “Attack?”

  “The keyword in my previous sentence was stage. As in not real. I need you to pretend to attack me.”

  “So I am involved this time? Ring the Pope, it’s a miracle.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know what Valafar’s motive is, but I do know he’s playing some sort of bodyguard role. He only appears when I’m in danger and no one else is around to help.”

  Jesu blanched.
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  “That is why you told Nikolas not to send his men to keep an eye out,” Maria observed.

  I nodded. “Jesu, you’ll have to make the attack look as real as possible. In fact, you should probably rough me up for real, and then threaten to stab me.”

  “You want me to hurt you?” His arms fell to his sides and he shook his head. “I cannot. I will not.”

  “Valafar won’t show himself if he thinks I’ll be okay on my own.”

  His luminous emerald gaze widened, reminding me very much of a nervous kitten. “No, Ema, I cannot even pretend to. Just the thought of raising a hand to strike you…”

  “Jesu, if you won’t do it, then I’ll have to get someone else. But no one else will know about the—” I glanced at my stomach, suddenly realizing I’ve never said the word out loud. “—the baby. They won’t know to be careful. I’m asking you to do this because I trust you.”

  He raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. “How do you know this will work? How do you know Valafar will even be watching you when we do it?”

  “I don’t,” I admitted. “Either he will be there, or he won’t, but we have to try.”

  Jesu narrowed his gaze. I could tell he wanted to keep arguing.

  I pressed my hands together in prayer. “Pretty please with catnip on top?”

  He lifted his face to the ceiling and groaned. “Fine… I will attack you.”

  I smiled. “That’s all I ask.”

  Bridget

  My boots pounded the wooden stair boards as I descended into the dank cellar. I couldn’t get away from the guest wing fast enough after what I overheard. Hot, dry prickles stung the back of my eyes while I navigated a maze of iceboxes. I stubbed the toe of my boot on the corner of one such box and stumbled forward, landing on my elbows.

  That’s where I belong, I thought, facing the dirt floor. In the ground.

  I pushed to my feet and then kicked the box, leaving a women’s size eight dent in the metal siding. It reflected a broken image of my face. I’d never been soft or dainty. Not even in Victorian Paris, when soft and dainty was the height of fashion. My facial structure erred on heart-shaped, with a widow’s peak and a prominent chin. Years of battle and decades of hunting gave me a warrior’s physique. I could pull off sexy, no problem. I had long black hair, a pale complexion, and a confident gait, all thanks to my despicable sire. Add a push-up bra and leather pants, and I was good to go. But soft? Dainty? Sundresses and tea parties? No. God bless the seventies and the human females’ war for equality.

  Yet, apparently Jesu liked soft and dainty.

  And pregnant.

  Alcohol. I came to the cellar for alcohol.

  I continued past the iceboxes and refrigerators, to a door at the back of the room. It led to a winery. Nikolas kept an extensive wine and spirits collection for the rare R.E.D. guest. I milled about the bottles of Chardonnay in search of the stronger stuff. When I couldn’t find anything in the racks worth a vampire’s salt, I tried one of the overhead cabinets. A row of shiny golden-brown bottles waited inside.

  Aha! I knew that overgrown bastard kept a stash of Asbach.

  I grabbed a bottled, bit off the cork, and took a long swig. The bitter liquid burned a path down my throat and I winced. I wasn’t drinking it for the piquancy though, so I chugged half the bottle and then grabbed two more. I leaned against the cupboard and slowly slid to the floor, where I sat cross-legged and finished off the other half of the first bottle.

  I can’t believe that harlot is pregnant. Who could the father be? I honestly thought Ema loved Jesu, but perhaps she only threw herself at him out of desperation; wanting a man to take care of her while she popped out a kid. I was so wrong about Ema. I hadn’t overestimated her sense of self-preservation, I’d underestimated her manipulative skills. Maria and Naamah weren’t using her. She was using them. I can’t believe I felt bad for her.

  I found the courage to go back upstairs at the bottom of the second bottle. I tossed the two empty bottles aside and then wrapped one hand around the neck of the third, using my other hand to push onto my feet.

  Boy, they really needed to level the ground and put down some flooring. The whole room sloped sideways. Was it like that earlier? And who moved the iceboxes around?

  My focus blurred as I climbed the cellar stairs and found my way to the foyer. I sat on one of the posh settees and opened the third bottle of brandy. A miniature minotaur watched me take a swig. I smacked my lips and then faced him.

  “Ce qui vous regardant, tête de taureau?”

  He gave me a dirty look, so I slapped him. There was a terrible clatter and the bull-man disappeared. I scoffed. Another man running from me. That has to be exhausting. For them. Eventually, they had to stop running. That’s what my father once said. Eventually, everything stops running. Hunting was a test of willpower. If you stalk your prey long enough, it would eventually lay still and let you kill it.

  I brought the bottle to my lips, but it was empty. Who the hell drank all my brandy? I pushed to my feet and abandoned the bottle in favor of the stairs. I managed to make it to the landing and then stumbled into the stone tower leading to the guest wing. Just the sight of more stairs—and these were shaped in a spiral—sent my head spinning. Who was the quack that designed this castle? I sat on the floor and put my head between my knees. I should not have drunk that third bottle of Asbach. I might have been a fast-healing vampire, but three bottles was a bit excessive, even for our kind.

  I closed my eyes and waited for the dizziness to pass. My senses seeped outward like spilled molasses. I tried to reel them in, but the effort proved futile. My ears pricked at the sound of voices, zeroing in on the conversation of their own accord.

  “Okay,” said Ema. “Let’s recap. The driver will drop me off at the south-west side of the woods. I’ll set up the Adders Tongue just inside the tree line and then head north. Jesu will start at the north end and work his way south. We’ll meet in the middle, throw a few punches, then I’ll run for it. I’ll backtrack to the Adders Tongue while Jesu chases after me. Then I’ll let him catch me again. With any luck, Valafar will have followed us. As soon as he shows himself, I’ll light the fire and start talking.”

  “You mean with a lot of luck.”

  My eyes snapped open at the sound of Jesu’s voice.

  “It’s a good plan,” Maria said. “It might work.”

  “Or it might piss him off.”

  “I will let Nikolas know we have a plan and then I’ll make arrangements with a driver. This news should put the king in better spirits.”

  Nitrogen tickled my nose, drawing the memories of a million lightning storms. The scent sparked some inner alarm, but I was too far gone to comprehend its meaning. Besides, it wasn’t Maria that came down the stairwell.

  Jesu’s heavy biker boots paraded swiftly against the stone steps, until he came around the bend and spotted me. I lifted my head to peer at his still form. Even through the blurry haze, he was handsome. Tall, slender framed. Velvet black hair hung past his shoulders. Strong square jawline, eyes like a cat. Those eyes saw everything, even me. Even when I was invisible to everyone else.

  His mouth thinned in a tight line and his chest expanded with a deep breath. “I told you to go home, Bridget.”

  I rolled my eyes. How many times did I have to say it? “I am home. You are zee one on foreign soil.”

  “You know what I mean.” He descended the last few steps and continued past me.

  “Wait.”

  Jesu paused.

  I tried to stand, but couldn’t find my footing, and ended right back on my bottom.

  “You are drunk,” he said, watching over his shoulder.

  My mouth teetered in mock smile. “Just a little bit. Help me to my room, won’t you?”

  Jesu turned, but didn’t come any closer. “You must think I am stupid.”

  “Actually… yes.”

  His gazed narrowed.

  I made a renewed effort to stand, gripping
the stones in the wall and using them as leverage. I managed to balance on wobbly legs. “You deserve better.”

  “I do not have time for this.” Jesu faced the door and reached for the handle.

  “You deserve someone who isn’t carrying another man’s seed.”

  He whipped around, gaze blazing. “How do you know about that?”

  “I’m offended. I thought serving in zee Elite meant something.”

  Jesu covered his eyes with his hand and then slid his palm down his face. “Have you told anyone?”

  “Should I?”

  “No.”

  “Why are you sacrificing yourself for her? You know in your heart she’s not zee right one.”

  His gaze rose to the tower ceiling and he scoffed. “Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. I no longer care. All I know is that I love her.”

  I winced. “Then why haven’t you left her yet?”

  Jesu glared, but a glimmer of confusion underscored the look.

  “You know you will eventually. For zee same reason you left me. If you really loved her, you would get it over with. Zee longer you wait, zee worse it will be.”

  “You are out of line, Bridget. Go home.”

  “I am home.”

  Jesu scoffed and shook his head while opening the door. He stepped out and then slammed the ingress shut behind him.

  A lump welled in my throat and I blinked several times. The room suddenly tilted and I found myself sitting on the floor with my head in my hands.

  “Bed,” I groaned, feeling the onset of a hangover. I crawled up the tower stairs on my hands and knees, not bothering to stand again until I reached the door to my guest room. It took a few tries, but I managed to wrench the handle clean off the door. I don’t know who locked it, but it swung open much easier after that. I dragged my sorry cul to the bed and collapsed into the soft comforter.

  The blurry figure of a man appeared in my unfocused vision. He gently closed the door and then approached the bedside. At first, I thought it was Jesu and almost smiled, but it turned out my senses had gone rogue and were playing a practical joke.

  “You are not real,” I said.