Mimi fell silent.
“Oh shit, Mimi. You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. Bad choice of words.”
“It’s okay. I know what you were saying. And yes, Austin is very good looking, but he’s not Joel. Please stay in touch with me whilst you are out with this guy.”
Mimi got into the car. On the passenger seat beside her was Joel’s hoody, which she had taken with her. It made her feel like she was taking a piece of him with her wherever she was going. She cracked open the window to let the breeze sweep in.
Finchley seemed like a lifetime ago. Here, in Texas, Mimi fell in love with the rugged terrain and the wide open spaces.
She had actually travelled quite a bit. She had been to Thailand to visit her mother’s family when she was younger, and she’d travelled to Spain, Italy, and France. She had a couple of fun-filled holidays in the land of Micky Mouse and of course her amazing honeymoon with Joel. Yet it was here, in the Lone Star State, that she felt smitten, like she had a deep connection. Perhaps it was because it was where Joel was from, or maybe she loved the horses, or maybe there was something here for her that she hadn’t yet found.
When she arrived at the ranch, she saw Jake running around the front of the house with a bed sheet attached to his back. His arms were stretched out in front of him. Mimi stepped out of the car and Jake the superhero ran to her.
“You came back,” he excitedly said, bouncing up and down on the spot.
“Hey, Jake. Yes, I’ve come to see your daddy. Do you know where he is?”
“Yeah, he’s inside with my mommy.”
Mimi felt her heart sink. She didn’t want Jake to see her disappointment, so she quickly focused on him.
“So, Jake, are you Spiderman?”
“No, I’m Superman, silly. Spiderman doesn’t have a cape!”
“Oh, yes, of course. You’re right.”
A woman appeared in the doorway. She had long blonde hair and skin as smooth as buttermilk. She looked across at Mimi and kept her gaze fixed on her. She walked across to Jake and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Mimi gave her a friendly smile, but was met with an emotionless expression.
“Hi, I’m Mimi.”
“I know who you are,” the woman said.
“Right, and you’re Jake’s mother?”
She kneeled down to her son and whispered something in his ear. Jake ran away from Mimi, disappearing into the house.
Mimi rose back to her feet, feeling somewhat uneasy. It wasn’t like she came here to steal Austin, as the woman’s unfriendly vibes seemed to suggest. Mimi second guessed herself on whether she should walk into the house.
A few seconds later, Austin appeared on the porch. He was far more casual than usual in a pair of jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt that was clean, so crisp and so much more like Joel.
“Are you coming in?” he shouted.
Mimi walked across to greet him and tried to manage a smile. They made their way into the kitchen and he handed her a steaming cup of coffee. She took it to her lips and sipped.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Do you want something to eat?” Austin asked.
“I’m fine, thank you.” She looked around. “Where’s Jake?”
“He’s out with the horses and his trainer.”
“His trainer?”
“Yeah, he’s learning how to ride properly. He’s good, but he’s still a child and needs proper supervision. He’s got a long way to go, but he’ll get there.”
Mimi paused for a moment. She took a deep breath and then asked, “So, Jake’s mum…”
“What about her?” Suddenly, Austin’s mood changed. He was distant and started to nervously walk around the room.
“She’s pretty,” Mimi added.
“She is, yeah.”
Mimi ran her fingers through her hair and leaned forward onto the table. “I assume Jake lives with you full-time?”
“You assume correctly.”
His eyes were fixed on her. She could tell he wasn’t willing to elaborate any further. He made her feel like she was interrogating him when she was asking simple questions. Mimi figured there must still be some tension between Austin and Jake’s mom. She thought about changing the subject entirely, but she was drawn in by him. Mimi was here to learn more about Joel. She hadn’t expected Austin to pique her interest, but he had.
Austin asked, “Have you ridden before?”
“As in horses?” Mimi said, raising her eyebrows.
“Yup, as in horses.”
For the first time, Austin smiled. Mimi’s heart stopped. She missed that smile. It was the smile that belonged to Joel. The corner of Austin’s eyes squinted the same way the corner of Joel’s eyes would squint. Austin had the same dimple on the left side of his cheek. Only he wasn’t the same. He wasn’t Joel.
Mimi and Austin walked to the stables.
“I got you these.” Austin held up a hair of shiny black riding boots.
“Will they fit?”
“You’re a size seven, right? UK 5?”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“Jake looked at the bottom of your shoe when you left them outside yesterday. He thought you would like to go riding.”
“Well, I have ridden before, but I was very young. I’m a little nervous, I guess.”
“Oh, you are one of those, are you?”
“One of what?” Mimi stood back, keeping her gaze fixed on Austin.
“Women that are a little scared to try something new.”
“You got me all wrong,” Mimi tutted. “I’ll have you know that this body wasn’t earned by sitting around on my butt all day long.”
“So, you work out?” Austin said, in a big deal kind of way.
“I work out, sure. I take chances. Joel took me sky diving on our honeymoon, and we climbed a nine thousand foot rock face in Yosemite. I pushed my body harder because I wanted to challenge myself. Admittedly, these past few weeks, I’ve lapsed, but I’m allowed, right?”
“I’m going to teach you to ride a horse. This here is Kelsa. She’s an Arabian.”
“She’s gorgeous.”
“She’s also powerful. Now, I want you to know that some accidents are unavoidable. She’s great, but if she were to trip, you could be thrown off balance. There is a chance she may depart a bit quicker into the canter than you may expect. What I want you to know is nobody can predict what a horse is going to do no matter how well you know them.”
The smell of freshly cut hay stuck in the back of Mimi’s throat and she started coughing. She couldn’t catch her breath. Austin rubbed her back and gave her a hard pat. His touch made her body tingle. She hadn’t expected it. He kept his hand on the small of her back longer than necessary. Suddenly, the stables felt too hot and her loose top was sticking to her.
Austin moved away from her and toward Kelsa. She was pure white. She looked like she could have been in a fairy tale. She was enchanting. She had a finely chiselled bone structure, a concave profile, and an arched neck. She was beautifully graceful.
“So, why Kelsa?”
“She’s pretty easygoing. I still want you to gear up. Like I said, you can never predict what may or may not happen.”
Chapter 9
Mimi and Austin arrived back at the house. There was a cat lurking on the porch. As soon as they approached, it ran off, startled, its tail swaying behind him as it disappeared into the overgrown bushes.
A few droplets of rain started to fall. Mimi inhaled the air, enjoying the smell of the dry earth starting to cool. There was a rustle in the trees, a promise of a storm ahead. A white feather blew in front of Mimi, sticking to the toe of her left boot.
Joel!
She picked up the feather and cupped it into her hand. She held it as if she were holding a fragile bird, careful not to pull it apart.
Austin turned toward her. He didn’t say anything. He looked at her. She was caught by a sudden wave of grief. It had come out of nowhere and tears sprung from h
er eyes. She turned away so that Austin wouldn’t see her cry. She didn’t know him well enough to start pouring her heart and soul out in front of him. She glanced over her shoulder to see Jake running toward his father:
“Dad…Dad!” he yelled.
“Hey, champ.” Austin picked Jake up and swung him over his shoulder.
“I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?”
“Ribs.”
“Yummy,” Jake said.
The sweetness of the child diverted Mimi’s attention from her emotions.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Jake asked.
“I’m sure Mimi would like to rest. She’s had a busy day learning to ride Kelsa. You know how tired you get when you’ve been out with the horses all day, don’t you?”
“Actually, I’d love to. I mean, if that’s all right with you, Austin?”
“Sure. There will be plenty of food. Feel free to take a shower if you want to wash up before dinner.”
“Yay!” Jake said.
A short while later, Mimi made her way up to the solid oak winding staircase. She imagined Joel and Austin would have slid down the banisters as children. She wished the walls around her could talk and wondered what they would say.
She took a peek into Austin’s room. She glanced over her shoulder and let her feet sink into the snow white plush carpet as she took a few steps into the room. It needed a woman’s touch. It was quite manly and basic.
In the corner of her eye, she spied a photograph. She picked it up for closer inspection. It was Joel and Austin as young boys with their parents. They were smiling happily in the beaming sunlight in what looked to be a small boat sitting on a body of open blue water. She held the frame, wondering why Austin still had it. Could it have been a memory of such a great day he simply couldn’t part with it, despite that he and his brother had parted ways?
She wondered how Austin felt about his brother’s death. There could be no more reaching out. Mimi searched Austin’s face for emotion every time she had mentioned Joel’s name. A woman will wear her heart on her sleeve, her feelings evident and difficult to hide, but for a man, it was often the case that they spent so long suppressing feelings that they lay deeply within. They were masters of deception.
She heard footsteps behind her, so she quickly put the photograph down and crept out of Austin’s room, slipping into the guest room next door. Austin gently tapped on the door.
“Come in.”
“Towels, fresh ones.” He placed them gently on the bed, which was covered in a patchwork throw, and paused for a second, like he was about to say something, but then he just lowered his head and nodded.
Please tell me what you are thinking!
He turned his back to walk out of the room. Mimi sighed loud enough for Austin to hear. He glanced over his shoulder. They must have both had some private grief over Joel.
“Will we ever really talk?” Mimi called after Austin.
“There are so many things you need to know, Mimi. I just can’t seem to find the words to tell you.”
A flash of lightning lit up the room, closely followed by a distant rumble of thunder. The sound of the rain pelting against the window was the only sound in the room. Silence hung between them.
“Austin, please. I need to know.”
“Mimi, sometimes things are best left in the past.”
“But you just said there are things I need to know. Which is it, Austin?”
“It was Joel’s place to tell you, not mine.”
“Tell me what?” she yelled.
“Mimi, don’t try and get up inside my head. It’s not a place you want to go. Now please, enjoy looking around the ranch. Stay as long as you need to so you can deepen the image of your perfect military boy, but when you’re done, you’re best off going home and starting over.”
He looked at her and she looked at him. Their eyes locked on one another. So many secrets hidden under the surface. Austin walked through the door.
“I’m sorry, Mimi. I just can’t go there with you.” He disappeared down the stairs.
Mimi sat on the edge of the bed. Her mind was racing. It was clear there was something between the brothers that ran deeper than she ever knew. It couldn’t simply be a case of Austin being annoyed Joel left the ranch. Or was it?
Her feelings were tangled in knots. She was grieving, but she felt confused. Frustration flowed through her body like volcanic lava, destroying her and eating her alive.
She reached for her phone and saw she had a text message from Meg. Her friend asked if she was all right and if Mimi would mind if she headed off for two days to Dallas with Bo. For a split second, Mimi was annoyed with her friend, but then she came to the conclusion this is how things were supposed to be. Wherever Meg went in life, she would always find a brand new door open for her and she’d add another awesome experience to her already fun-filled life.
Mimi went downstairs sometime later as Austin was plating the food. The smell of barbeque sauce hung in the air. He quietly set up the table. She noticed how everything around him was in order and everything had its place.
She sunk her body into a chair, her mind regressing to a memory of Joel. She remembered how he hadn’t been good in the kitchen. He’d attempted to cook a simple spaghetti bolognaise at Mimi’s parents’ house, but it had ended in disaster. He burned the mince-meat within an inch of being cremated and then he added too much sugar to the sauce. It could have been mistaken for a dessert. Mimi had twisted Joel’s pasta with her fork against the spoon and tried to hide the shocking flavour that sat on her taste buds.
“It’s great,” she’d said, trying to hide the fact that she wanted to spit it back in the bowl and throw the rest of the offending contents in the bin.
“Its shit.” Joel laughed.
Mimi tried to keep her poker face, but failed on the second bite.
“Go on Mimi Mimi, admit it!”
“Okay, yeah, it’s horrendous.”
They had both seen the funny side of things and ended their evening by calling the local Chinese restaurant for a takeaway.
The sound of the plates being set on the table jolted Mimi out of her memory.
It was quite clear Austin had mastered his culinary skills. The meat was tender, moist, and fell off the bone with each gentle bite. The glow of a storm lantern flickered on the kitchen table.
Jake munched his way through his meal, smiling at Mimi between bites. Mimi noticed how much he looked like Austin and not so much like his mother. He had a small sprinkle of freckles on the tip of his nose. His eyes were the Marcus emerald green hues, bright and alert.
“My mommy said that you’re Chinese,” Jake said.
“Jake, stop being rude.”
“Why is that rude?”
“Because it just is.”
“I’m half English and half Thai,” Mimi replied.
“What’s Thai?” Jake asked, shovelling another forkful of rice into his tiny mouth.
“It’s a country in Southeast Asia. Thailand is beautiful. There are lots of amazing beaches. The sand is white and the water is so clear that you can see the fish swimming.”
“Are there sharks?”
Austin smiled at his son. Jake’s mind was so full of imagination and intrigue.
“There are sharks in Thailand, but I’ve never seen one.”
“They eat people, you know. I saw it. There was a movie on cable and the shark was called Jaws. He was mean, really mean. I don’t ever want to go to the beach.”
Mimi and Austin laughed.
They enjoyed the evening with Jake. They played a couple of games and his innocent laughter filled the room. Mimi wondered why Austin never told Joel he had a nephew. Halfway through the evening, it dawned on her she was Jake’s aunt, and it made her feel warm inside.
Mimi and Joel had discussed children. It was Mimi who raised the question when they were snuggled up in the warmth of her bed before they were married. It had been cold outside.
“Do you
want kids?”
“With you? Of course.”
They never had planned when, but it was always going to be in the cards. Being around Jake, she wondered what it would have been like to have had a son with Joel.
When Jake went to bed, it was just Mimi and Austin. There was a stillness in the room. The storm had finally subsided. Mimi decided she wasn’t going to hold back. She was here to find out answers, and she felt that if Austin wanted to keep things that happened between him and Joel a secret, he shouldn’t have elaborated on the issue.
“Tell me about your life?” Mimi asked.
“My life? Why do you want to know?”
“Because you’re Joel’s brother and the father of my nephew,” she joked.
“Mimi, I…”
“What, Austin? What is it?” Her voice was desperate, like a radar turned on in full search mode trying to pin point her target, begging for an answer.
He once again fell silent. The soft light of the porch lit the room. They sat on the sofa, locked in a moment of finding out the truth. It had only been a month since Joel had been gone, but Mimi felt like she had aged ten years. She was here on this journey, hoping to find out more about the man she married, but she hadn’t expected to be learning more about herself.
“How about we say nothing tonight. I do like you, Mimi, and I can understand why my brother chose you. I get why you are here. I understand your pain. I know it may look to you like I am the difficult younger brother with a problem and I guess that’s how I’d look at me too if I were you. Just for tonight, how about you be you and I’ll be me. I’ve been thinking, if your friend is away in Dallas, it would be silly for you to stay in that B&B all by yourself.”
“Are you inviting me to stay?”
“Yes I am. If you want to.”
“I’d love to.”
She had meant it. Mimi hoped that if she stayed with Austin long enough, she would be able to peel away the layers and uncover the cold truth of whatever it was that Austin was concealing. She felt a pang of guilt running through her veins because, if she was honest with herself, as much as she had come here in Joel’s name, right now she wanted to stay because she wanted to know more about Austin.
Till Death Us Do Part Page 7
