Till Death Us Do Part

by Cristina Slough

  “And yet he is the one raising your son. I don’t really see how you are the braver one.” She realised how defensive of Austin she sounded and she hoped that it would not giveaway the truth about her feelings for Austin. It was too soon for that.

  “Austin was with my father the day he died. Not me. I was supposed to be with him.” A lump rose in Joel’s throat. “If I had been there, I would have never have let my father die. It’s because of my brother that I lost the man that was my hero.”

  “Joel, accidents happen,” Mimi said softly.

  “If he had run to get help, he would have saved my father’s life. Instead, he just left him there to die.”

  She’d never seen Joel cry before. As the tears pinged up into his eyes, she wanted to reach out for him, but she didn’t.

  “Did you tell him how you felt?”

  “No. I waited for him to tell me. Every day I waited. The bond between him and my mother only grew stronger. Without my father, I was lost, I was angry. And then Sara happened.”

  “So it was revenge?”

  “Yes,” he answered directly. “I had no idea it was ever going to result in a child.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  “Because without my father, I had no place at the ranch. I left to find a new home, a new family. In the Corps, I found that. Those boys were my brothers, more than my own blood. And then there was you.”

  “I still don’t understand how you signed your child over to your brother. If you hated him that much, then why let him, of all people, raise him?”

  “I couldn’t come back here. I know it was selfish, but I’m just being honest.”

  “Did you ever love your brother?”

  Joel was taken aback by the question. As boys, they had always been competitive. There was always a race to be won, whether it was swimming in the lake at the meadow or just who could finish dinner the fastest.

  Love, perhaps, hadn’t ever been a feeling or emotion that either of them had explored. It was a given they would protect one another, but neither of them could protect themselves against one another.

  Mimi still wondered where Austin’s feelings for her were born out of. Was it revenge? Was she just another cog in the wheel of the never-ending battle between them both?

  Yet Austin had been the honest one. So far, Joel hadn’t told her a version much different from what Austin had. If she had not come to Texas, would Joel ever have told her that he had a son? She wanted to believe that he would have, but deep down, she just didn’t.

  Chapter 24

  Austin

  In Dallas, Austin took Jake out to lunch at a burger bar. They talked about ordinary things.

  Behind his smile, Austin felt broken inside. His mind kept wandering to Mimi and Joel. He imagined her being so overwhelmed by emotion she would easily fall back into Joel’s spell. He hadn’t known what sort of couple they were. He didn’t know their likes and dislikes, what they had experienced with one another.

  What he did know was that he felt beyond jealous. Love is like an endless tapestry of truths. Austin always tried to be honest, but somehow, it never paved the way for an easier life. If anything, he would always end up the loser.

  After Jake sucked the last of his strawberry milkshake with a straw, he gave his dad a toothy grin.

  “That was good.”

  “I’m glad. Want another?” Austin asked.

  “Nah, I’m good. Dad, I need to ask you something.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Is Mimi your girlfriend? I know you said she wasn’t, but…well, since she’s been gone, you’ve been really sad.”

  Austin leaned back in the chair and let out a loud sigh. Jake was a very bright kid, and he had insight into what people felt. Even when he tried to hide things from his son, Jake always had some kind of way of finding out. This worried him.

  Amid all the chatter of others around them, and the booming juke-box playing Rascal Flatts, it was strangely silent where Austin and Jake sat. His wide eyes burned into Austin, waiting for an answer.

  For the eight years of Jake’s life, he knew there would come a day when he would need to tell him the truth. The thought almost crippled him. Although Jake was wise, he was also still a child. He had no idea how telling him he was not his father but his uncle would affect him. It could not only shatter their relationship, but it could also do untold damage in the years to follow.

  Then there was the other side of the spectrum—he worried what the weight of a lie would do. Austin had never been tempted to tell Jake the truth. He always told himself he was too young, and when the time was right, he’d tell him, only he could never truly imagine there being a right time.

  Back at the ranch, he asked Uma to stay. She knew the truth. He wanted her to be his eyes and ears, he wanted to ensure that Joel did not start wandering through his home. It was too dangerous. There had been several times he was tempted to call her and find out if Mimi’s lips had touched Joel’s, or if their hands were joined, but each time he’d reached for his phone, he managed to stop himself.

  “I’ve told you before, Jake. Mimi is not my girlfriend.”

  “But you love her, right?”

  “You ask a lot of questions.”

  “Well, do you?”

  Austin was caught off guard, but he didn’t want to keep lying to him. “Yes, I do.”

  “Then why don’t you tell her. She can come live with us. “

  “Because Mimi is already married.”

  “To whom?” The question felt like a kick in his gut. To whom. The man who was his real father; a man he has never met. A man who means so little, but so much.

  “Do you know him, Daddy?”

  “I used to. Remember when you asked me if I had a brother?”

  Jake looked at him, confused. He tilted his head to the side “Yes, and you never answered me.”

  “Well, I do have a brother. And he is the man that is married to Mimi.”

  A waitress came over and asked if they wanted anything else. Austin was grateful for the interruption. He knew there would be more questions, but at least he would have a few moments to collect his thoughts and work out what he should say next.

  The blazing sunlight hit them as soon as they left the coolness of the air conditioned restaurant. Cars and motorcycles were gathering in the street—honking, starting, stopping…it was a far cry from the wide-open spaces and the quiet of the ranch. Tall, angular skyscrapers towered above them.

  Jake looked up in amazement. He had never been to Dallas before. The awe on his face was worth a thousand words. He was dazzled by the buzz of the city and watched the sea of people move with a fast pace.

  Austin took Jake’s small sweaty palm in his. They walked in silence. A beggar sat in the doorway of a store with white-washed windows and a handwritten sign that it was for lease. Austin reached into his back pocket and pulled out a five-dollar bill and dropped it into the beggar’s lap. He could smell cheap liquor.

  “Buy yourself a decent meal and lay off the booze,” he said and continued ahead.

  “So, if Mimi’s husband is your brother, then that makes him my uncle. Right?”

  “Yeah, that’s right.” He paused for a moment and placed his hands on Jake’s shoulders.

  “You know what, Jake. I don’t think it’s a good idea that we talk about my brother for now. He’s not a very nice guy.”

  “Why? What did he do?”

  “He left something behind that was very important was his responsibility to take care of. It’s a good thing that he did, because that something is now in a very safe place where no harm will ever come to it.”

  “What was it, Daddy?”

  “I can’t tell you that. Not yet, but maybe when you are a little older.”

  Jake squeezed Austin’s hand. “All right, Daddy.”

  Jake’s trust in him made his heart swell and then break. Austin hailed a taxi. They climbed in, instantly feeling cooler as they sat back on the cool leather.

&nb
sp; “The Avery,” Austin told the driver.

  After a short ride, the taxi pulled up outside a stylish hotel, the tinted windows gleaming gold.

  Austin paid the driver and pulled Jake out. They walked into the marbled reception and rode several floors in the scenic glass lift.

  When they reached their room, Jake said, “Let me do it, Daddy.”

  He took the key card and swiped it. The green light flicked on and Jake opened the door to a breathtaking suite. Jake headed straight to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of orange juice. Austin reached for a beer. He let the cool liquid slide down his throat, taking off the edge of the day. He threw Jake his phone to play with.

  “Batteries are dead, Dad.”

  “The charger is in the blue bag there on the chair,” Austin said, pointing as he disappeared into the main bedroom. On the bedstand, the red message light flashed. He lifted the receiver, fully expecting it to be a courtesy message from the hotel.

  After he heard the computer-generated voice tell him that he had one message, nothing prepared him next for the voice at the other end of the phone, a voice that he had not heard for several years, and yet it was a voice so well-known to him it was if he heard it yesterday.

  The past was catching up to him in ways that he had not planned for. If it wasn’t for Jake, there would be nothing for him to fear. But now so much was at stake.

  He sat at the edge of the bed with beads of sweat on his forehead. Somehow, it all felt like a dream, and he wished it only was.

  Jake skipped into the room and threw himself onto the bed.

  “I’m bored,” he complained.

  “Jake, I need to talk to you about something,” Austin said. He stood for a moment and then knelt by the bed. He put his head in his hands and let out a loud sigh. This was a moment that he had thought about but never planned. If he had a choice, it would never have to happen this way.

  His mind flashed back to the day Sara had arrived at the ranch. There was a heavy rain storm that evening. It was late. His mother had stood at the door as Sara cradled Jake in her arms using her denim jacket to shield him from the lashing rain.

  “I can’t do this,” she had sobbed.

  That was the night she left the baby in his mother’s arms. Just a teenager herself and totally unprepared for the demands of a newborn, she relinquished her responsibility and left.

  Joel had already left for the Marines. Her own parents had disowned her. This was the only place she knew she could turn. Austin was just a boy himself. He had no duty or obligation to the child that was his brother’s. In a twist of fate, there was a connection that ran far deeper than DNA.

  In the weeks and months that passed, Austin had fallen in love with Jake. He assumed all fatherly responsibility. It came so naturally to him. When his mother was diagnosed with cancer, he knew that soon his whole family was going to be his nephew.

  One evening, in the wake of his mother’s death, he had asked Sara to come to the ranch to discuss Jake. She’d come to the house just past seven, when Jake was down for the night.

  The last bit of the coppered coloured evening light glowed. They sat in the kitchen. Austin had offered Sara a drink, but she refused. Austin had thought long and hard about his decision, and it seemed like the most natural one to take. That was the evening that he had asked Sara if he could legally adopt Jake. At first, she had acted outraged. Throughout, Austin had remained calm and explained why he thought it was best.

  It took less than thirty minutes for her to agree to a formal adoption. In ways, Austin had thought she would put up a little more of a fight, but when she hadn’t, he knew he was making the right choice. Jake would be with somebody who truly wanted him.

  The legal process hadn’t been straightforward, but eventually, after just under four years, the adoption had become final.

  By then, Jake had been calling Austin daddy and he had no intention of ever making him think otherwise, but here, in this moment, when the threat was impending for him to find out, he felt he owed it to his son to tell him the truth.

  “You know how much I love you, don’t you?” Austin began.

  “Yeah.” His dark hair was wavy around his face, his cheeks slightly flushed.

  “And you know that nothing will ever change just how much?”

  “I think so,” Jake answered nervously.

  “Jake, do you know what DNA is?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I do. It’s that stuff in your blood. I learned about it from Jurassic Park.”

  Austin managed a smile. “That’s right. Well, the reason that I want to talk to you about this is about something biological. Do you know what that means?”

  “I think so. Doesn’t it have to do with washing powder?”

  “No. I guess I am going about this all in the wrong way. Remember how I told you that I have a brother and he is married to Mimi?”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “Jake, I love you so much. You know that, right?”

  “Daddy, what is it?” Jake asked. He watched his father with his head in his hands, his shoulders rising and falling. “Daddy, are you crying?”

  Chapter 25

  Joel

  Joel found Mimi in the kitchen drinking a hot drink, lost in thought. She wore a light blue cotton dress, her hair hanging in loose curls down her back.

  “Morning,” he said.

  She turned and looked at him. She didn’t take her gaze away from him. They had slept separately. There was too much between them, too many lies, but not just on his part.

  “What is it like being back here?” Mimi asked, setting her cup gently on the table in front of her. Joel pulled out a chair and sat down. He paused for a moment. All he wanted to do was make his past disappear. He wished he was back in London, curled up with Mimi on the sofa, making love, being grateful that he had survived.

  He’d hardly slept the night before. The slightest noise startled him and he’d immediately pounce up, ready to fight, but he was back in the States now, living a new nightmare. He was constantly on edge. Many Marines had spoken of this, but he didn’t want to admit that he was suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome even though the signs were there.

  “I’m happy to be alive. And I am happy you made it through that car wreck. Jesus, Mimi, when I heard that you were hurt, all I wanted to do was get to you.”

  He noticed a small red blotch on the bottom of her neck. She caught him staring.

  “Bruises are everywhere,” she quickly said. He pressed his lips together and nodded.

  “What made you come here?” Joel asked.

  “After they told me you were dead, I was a mess. Actually, it was Meg’s idea to come to Texas. She came with me.”

  “Meg is here?”

  “She only came out for a couple of weeks. You know Meg, she had her life to get back to. But she was really there for me. After she left, your brother invited me to stay.”

  “How did you find out about Jake?” He swallowed hard, imagining the glory that his little brother would have taken in telling her that he was a deadbeat father who had run out on his only son.

  “Austin didn’t tell me. I was looking through some old photos, trying to find out about you as a child when I came across Jake’s birth certificate. That is how I learned you were his father.”

  “I wanted to tell you, Mimi. There were so many times that I wanted to.”

  “Then why the hell didn’t you, Joel?” Tears sprung in her eyes. “When they told me you were dead, I seriously wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. I came here to feel close to you and then I find out everything you told me was a lie. I have no idea who the fuck I married.”

  “You know me, Mimi. I never lied about loving you. I’m so sorry you found out this way. If I could change everything, I would.”

  “Do I know you? Everything you told me was a lie.”

  “Not everything.” He stood up and walked toward her. He knelt on the floor, cupping his hand under her chin, catching the tears
that fell.

  “I love you. I never lied about that. I made so many mistakes, but I will do everything I can to fix it. When I was out there, my life was hanging in the balance, but I promised myself that I would do everything that I could to fix everything.”

  “Did you ever think about Jake?” she asked.

  “Every day. I’m not the asshole Austin has probably told you that I am. I had a kid with a girl I didn’t love, but that’s not Jake’s fault. I know that now. I was young, I was angry, and I felt guilty for not being with my father the day he died. I blamed Austin for my father’s death, and I wanted nothing to do with this ranch or my brother. I wanted out. Nothing was going to keep me here, not even Jake. Now I see that I was wrong.”

  “I want to believe you.”

  “Believe me, Mimi Mimi.”

  She raised her head and locked eyes with his emerald green eyes. He ran his index finger in circular motions around her cheek. He moved in even closer to her and gently kissed her lips. At first, she pulled away, but he kissed her again, this time harder.

  She allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth. His arms gripped her tight.

  “I’ll make it right,” he said in a breathy voice.

  ***

  Mimi

  Later that morning, Mimi went into the guest room. She sat at the end of the bed, her mind drifting back to when she was here with Austin. Her heart felt torn. She wondered how she allowed herself to fall for two men, two brothers.

  She had a choice to make. She thought about going back to London and letting go of both of them because no good could ever come of this, yet the thought of leaving Texas left her with an overbearing weight of sadness. She knew she had to follow her heart, but in this very moment, she wasn’t sure which man her heart belonged to.