“We were like oil and water. I think I went in there for the bantering more than to buy anything. My last quarter there he brought me a graduation gift.” Myra shrugged, embarrassed to be recounting the story. “One thing led to another and we dated.”
“How long?”
Myra glanced down. “It lasted about four years. He graduated and things ended.”
“You broke up with him?”
“Things were going great.” A sad smile appeared on her face. “I loved him so much, but I knew it wouldn’t work. My father would kill me. I didn’t want to lose my father, so I lost him.”
“But you dated him for four years. Did your father find out?”
Myra shook her head. “No, I never talked about it and he never asked. He’s like Reggie’s mother. Ignorance was bliss.”
Tatum tried not to pry, but she had to satisfy her curiosity. “So how did it happen? The break up, I mean?”
“He’d planned to go to graduate school at the university, but then he got this huge job offer in San Francisco.” Myra paused, fighting to control the tears, but it was a losing battle.
Tatum cursed at herself for prying. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Myra dismissed the statement. “He proposed. He wanted us to move there and have this great life together.”
“But you were too scared of Uncle Donald finding out?”
“I didn’t want to get married and get disowned by my family at the same time.”
“Did he leave?”
She nodded, her voice now empty of feeling. “He just left. That was close to two years ago.”
Tatum now regretted her anger toward her cousin. She didn’t know the whole story. She’d thought she did, thought she knew her cousin. And she didn’t want the same thing to happen to her and Seth. Tatum felt foolish constantly choosing her family over him.
“This guy you dated, you can find him. Maybe he’ll change his mind.” Tatum tried to offer her cousin hope.
“No. Even if he did—”
“Knowing everything you know, you have to wish you could change things.”
“I do, but nothing would change. Tatum, I’m a firm believer that blacks should be with blacks. It’s what I’m been taught since I was a child.”
“Yeah, but…”
“If I can’t find love with a black man, then I’m not supposed to be in love.”
“Sometimes your soulmate doesn’t depend on color.”
“I don’t care. That’s the way it has to be.”
“You’re in denial.”
“No, I’m just like you. I chose family because blacks have to stick together.”
“And you’re miserable.”
“I’m hopeful.”
Tatum couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “If he returned to Cincinnati and offered you the world, you wouldn’t accept it? You’d still choose this fucked up family?”
“It’s fucked up, but it’s ours.” Myra threw her balled up napkin into the empty carton.
Tatum saw herself in Myra. The circumstances were different, but the results were the same. They were miserable because their family was stuck in another era. That shouldn’t be their problem, but it was. Both of them had adopted the family’s backwards beliefs out of fear—the fear of the unknown. A life without family was scary. Love seemed somewhat less important to having family to count on. It was crazy when Tatum thought about it now. For years, though, it had made so much sense.
“I have to get back to the work.” Myra stood.
After clearing their table, Tatum joined her cousin in the walk to the bookstore. Tatum thought about talking about the weather, but it seemed silly. Instead, she asked, “How’s the famous novel coming?”
Myra laughed. She’d graduated with a degree in business but settled for her dream. She was an aspiring writer and writing her way to her big break. Unfortunately for Myra, it was more like waiting her way to a big break.
“Let’s put it like this,” Myra answered. “My father is starting to politely nudge me toward the business world. He thinks writing should be a hobby, not a passion.”
“You don’t care what he thinks?”
Myra confidently remarked, “If he doesn’t agree with my career decisions, then it’s his luck. I love writing too much to give it up.”
They stopped in front of the bookstore. Tatum wasn’t going in. She needed time to think about that move Seth wanted, and she was ready to do it.
“Why don’t you come in and find a book or something?”
Tatum dismissed the idea. “I have some things to do.”
“Well, maybe another time,” Myra suggested. “You can use my employee discount.”
Tatum agreed before leaving. She had her own ending to write, determined not to have the same thing happen to her that had happened to Myra. She wasn’t going to give up on love.
Tatum was dressed in shorts, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes, and she was on a mission. She was at the fitness center to find Seth. She knew he spent Saturdays here. He was always trying to get her to join him, but she resisted. She wasn’t a fan of fitness clubs. Seeing extra thin women work out reminded her that God had given her hips, breasts, and thighs. No amount of athletic training was going to change those facts. When she did exercise, it was at home.
Tatum looked in the exercise, training and tennis rooms, but he wasn’t there. She was about to give up when she walked through the gym. The enormous gym held six courts. Seth, sweaty and sexy, was holding court on the one to the far right.
Her heart pumped wildly with each step she took. Nervousness made her ill. She had second thoughts. The fear of rejection made her think twice. The dread that racked her body attempted to convince her something bad was going to happen.
She constantly reminded herself he hadn’t said he would reject her. He just wanted her to make the first move. It calmed her fears, but the dread was still there.
Tatum stopped a couple feet away. She made sure to dodge any misdirected basketballs from the others playing on the courts.
Seth aimed for the basket, but the ball hit the backboard. He cursed as he caught up with the ball. Sweat dripped from his wet hair, but he didn’t wipe it away. He seemed in another world. He didn’t dribble the ball with finesse but slammed it repeatedly against the hardwood floor.
“I thought you were on a championship team,” Tatum said before she knew it.
Seth didn’t look up right away. She guessed he didn’t hear her. He continued to bounce the ball, pretending to play offense against a phantom defender. Then his head snapped up.
Tatum expected him to say something, but he just looked at her. This wasn’t getting off to a good start.
She tried another joke. “You must have been on the reserves because you haven’t made a shot.”
Seth didn’t laugh. He began dribbling the ball again. After missing another try at the basket, he asked, “Isn’t that my shirt?”
Tatum looked down. She was ready to disagree, but realized he was right. She had no idea what music the band on the shirt played. The band name wasn’t even familiar.
“You’ve never noticed what I wore before,” she commented. “Wow, that and missing baskets. I’m starting to worry about you.”
Seth’s tone of voice didn’t change. “It’s called sexual frustration.”
She watched him miss another basket. He ran to catch up with the ball, but she caught up with it first.
Tatum dribbled the ball while trying to start a meaningful conversation. Seth waited for her to throw him the ball, and he seemed to grow more frustrated while he waited.
Seth stole the ball from her and made a lay-up. Tatum took control of the ball again. She was quickly losing her nerve. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
Do it.
She looked at him. “I’m making my move.”
“By dribbling the ball?”
“You don’t think I can play?”
Seth smirked. “Let’s just say you wouldn’t make it in the WNBA.”
“The way you’re shooting, you wouldn’t either.”
“Ha!” He pretended to be amused and reached for the ball. She switched to the other hand. He tried again. This time, she put the ball behind her back.
“Come on, give me the ball.”
“Let’s play a game,” she suggested.
He rested his hands on his hips. “I don’t have the energy.”
“Come on,” she told him. “I’ve seen you sweat more than this and not be exhausted.”
He groaned. Tatum laughed, knowing he noticed the sexual undertone.
“What will I win?”
Tatum laughed. “You think you’ll win?”
“Without a doubt.”
“When I win, I’ll…” She couldn’t come up with something good.
“Can you shoot?”
“Yes,” she lied.
“Can you defend?”
“Yes,” she lied again. She was a basketball fan, but not a player. She was actually horrible. Of course, she wasn’t going to let him know.
“How about this?” Seth suggested. “We’ll have a shoot around.”
Tatum was clueless.
Seth walked around her and took the ball. “I thought you weren’t a virgin at all this.”
“I’m not,” she said. He chuckled.
She tried to prove it and took the ball from him, took aim at the basket…and missed terribly.
He leaned down to her ear again. “In the world of basketball, we’d like to call that an air ball.”
“Shut up.” Although she was embarrassed, she smiled.
He grabbed the ball. His expression turned serious as he approached her again.
Seth handed her the ball. Standing behind her, he placed his hands on her hips and instructed her on how to stand, point the ball, and follow through with the shot.
She missed the first because she was too tense. Tatum couldn’t think when he was touching her. The second one was closer. A couple more tries and she was making the baskets.
He explained what a shoot around was. She decided against it. She didn’t see the point of making baskets.
“How about one-on-one,” she suggested.
“Babe, you aren’t that skilled.”
“You give me too much credit,” she said, sarcastic.
“It’s just an observation.”
“How about we do this. Each time we make a basket we get to ask the other a question.”
“You mean like the truth or dare game?”
She didn’t like the dare part, but still said, “Something like that.”
“Cool.” He handed her the ball. “Ladies first.”
She aimed for the basket and missed. He tried a shot then and made it. It was her game and she’d missed.
“Why are you here?” he asked. “You hate places like this.”
“I told you. I wanted to make the first move.”
“Nah, that’s not a good answer.”
“That’s not a part of the rules.”
“Well, it is now.”
She sighed. She was telling the truth. What more did he want to know?
Tatum motioned for the ball, but he refused to give it to her.
“Fine, I’m here to make the first move. I’m not sure it makes sense, but I wanted to show you I care.”
He handed her the ball. Tatum concentrated and made it. Now it was her turn to ask a question, and she didn’t hesitate. “Did you and Gabby have a relationship?”
“It was more sex than relationship,” he answered. “She wasn’t Ms. Right, but Ms. Right Now.”
Tatum wasn’t mad but relieved. He’d told her the truth.
He took control of the ball. His shot was effortless. “Did Ralph make a move on you while I was in LA?”
She was stunned by the question. “There was never anything like that. We’ve always been just friends.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
She sighed, tried again. “He never made a move on me. I kind of made a move on him.”
“Whoa!”
“I was drunk and scared we wouldn’t work out,” she quickly added. Then, she made her next shot. “Why didn’t you give him the job?”
“You.”
“Excuse me?”
“I saw something I didn’t like. You acted too guilty and he wasn’t acting guilty enough. I wasn’t going to promote him so he could be closer to you.”
“You said you didn’t mix business with pleasure.”
“I wasn’t going to take that chance.”
“You thought I would cheat on you?”
“That’s another question.”
She wasn’t going to let it go. “It was a two-part question.”
Seth shook his head at her rules change but answered the question anyway. “I trusted you. I didn’t trust him.”
“Now you know the truth. Promote him.”
“I can’t,” he replied, dribbling the ball.
“Seth, you can figure out a way to get anything you want. You can figure out how to do the right thing.”
He didn’t reply. He made another basket before handing the ball to her. She was planning to say something else on the subject, but he stopped her. “Your turn.”
“Are you really going to give us a chance?” She made another basket.
“Of course,” he said without hesitation.
He dribbled the ball before making the shot. “Are you serious about us or am I just a prize?”
“I’m serious.”
She didn’t make her shot. He made his, but he let her have the ball. She made the shot this time.
“What if you were attracted to both me and Karla? Would you have made a deal to sleep with her for the account?”
Seth just stared at her, and Tatum regretted asking. She was about to tell him to forget it, but he answered, “That was never an option. If you weren’t in the picture, there wouldn’t have been a deal.”
“So you weren’t going to give her the account?”
“That’s a different question.”
Tatum made another basket, forcing him to answer.
“I was planning to, but she got on my nerves,” he told her. “She kept calling me about it.”
“So you…”
“Babe, I’m not going to rehash this. The deal was in poor taste. I wouldn’t do it again.”
She wasn’t satisfied, but she let it go. She didn’t want to ruin the progress they’d made. They agreed to call it a draw and went to their separate locker rooms to shower and dress.
Seth was searching for change when Tatum arrived in the lobby. They strolled to her car. It was dark outside. Seth had parked in the opposite direction, but they walked to her car first.
They kissed goodbye. Seth blazed a trail of butterfly kisses from her lips to the nape of her neck. She lifted his sweatshirt and caressed his muscular stomach. Reluctantly, she put space between them, having something she needed to say.
She ignored his lustful stare. “Seth, I want you to the right thing. Give Ralph the job.”
“Tatum.” His voice was full of warning.
“You know the truth. There’s nothing between us.”
Seth exhaled. “My hands are tied. I already hired somebody for the position.”
Tatum passionately kissed him. He groaned. She knew she was weakening his resolve. She didn’t care if she was using his sexual frustration in her favor. It was because of her Ralph didn’t get his promotion.
“Tatum…”
“Please Seth,” she pleaded, staring into his eyes. “I want this.”
Seth kissed her then opened her car door. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s not good enough,” she told him, hoping she wasn’t pressing her luck.
“I’ll call Adam on Monday. That’s all I’ll promise.”
Tatum hugged him. Seth waved goodbye as he watched her drive away. Tatum smiled, hoping she had s
et things right for Ralph.
“I think you’ve made some progress.”
Tatum was eager to agree with her therapist, but she was too scared. She didn’t want a repeat performance. Tatum and Dr. Bev had already agreed to set appointments three weeks apart. She just didn’t want to get ahead of herself.
“I take it you don’t think so.”
“I do,” Tatum disputed.
“What made the biggest impression on you?”
Tatum didn’t have to think long about the question. “My conversation with Myra. Hearing how fast she gave up on love made me realize what I was doing.”
“And what was that?”
“I was making the wrong choices.” Tatum paused. “I knew all along that my family was never going to accept me. I just didn’t want to face it. Myra knew that too, but she still chose family.”
Dr. Bev took notes. Tatum thought about Myra. It made her almost want to work to get her and the man from her story back together again. Of course, it was none of her business. Myra was grown and free to make her own decisions. However, she couldn’t let her cousin be alone and searching for love all her life. Then again, who said she wouldn’t find her black man.
“How do you think things are going with Seth?”
After a few moments of silence Tatum said, “I haven’t seen him since the basketball incident. But we’re making progress.”
“Do you think you’re ready to take the next step?”
She was leery of the question. “It depends on the next step.”
“You’ve made a good start, but how do you think your relationship with Seth will start again? When will he want to work this out?”
Tatum was so proud of her progress she didn’t want to think ahead to the other challenges they would have to face. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she wasn’t naïve. It would take time.
“Do you think your relationship has started?”
“No.”
“Then what do you think has to happen before it will start?”
Tatum didn’t have an answer, and she knew Dr. Bev didn’t expect her to have one either. It wasn’t an easy question to answer. However, Dr. Bev helped her along.
“I want you to do some homework this week.”
The dreaded homework.
The Score Page 23
