Shades of Fear

by D. L. Scott

  Tanah nodded. “Thank you.”

  The woman chattered on about the village once she discovered that Tanah didn’t know much about it. Her mind wandered while Zakora talked.

  She managed to nod and smile appropriately, which was all the encouragement the old woman needed to fill the walk with unending gossip. Tanah was thankful for the chatter; it meant she was spared answering any more questions, at least for now.

  When they reached the village, Zakora brought her inside what looked to be a meeting hall. The room was circular and there were entrances to longhouses off of it.

  A man who looked like a guard spoke in hushed tones to Zakora, who responded by explaining how she had found Tanah and how Tanah needed some food and rest. The guard nodded. He told Zakora to take Tanah to someone, but Tanah wasn’t really listening.

  The meeting hall made her heart ache. Although it was different than the meeting hall Rathowin had, the use was the same. She felt tears threatening and quickly closed her eyes to ward them off. She had been so consumed with saving her child that it hadn’t occurred to her to miss home.

  Being in the hall with the smells of food, the hustling of people hither and thither, and the loud voices all clamoring to be heard, Tanah’s heart sank into her stomach realizing she would never again be a part of that--at least not with her people. How would she ever fit in anywhere else?

  She sighed inwardly, forcing such thoughts to the back of her mind. There wasn’t time to deal with homesickness right now. That could wait. For now, it was more important to worry about the safety of her unborn child. He was all that mattered.

  Zakora spoke briefly with the woman the guard had sent her to. The woman motioned for Tanah and Zakora to follow her. They walked down the hall into one of the longhouses, with rooms off to either side.

  The woman led them to a small room that was sparsely furnished. There was a bed, small wardrobe, and a washbasin. Tanah had to fight the impulse to throw herself down on the bed and moan in delight. She settled for eyeing the bed longingly.

  She nearly wept when Zakora ushered her into the bed and told her to get some rest, saying she’d be back just before the evening meal with a change of clothes.

  Blessed unconsciousness claimed her the moment her head hit the pillow. She didn’t even wait for the door to shut behind Zakora.

  It felt like she had only been asleep for a few minutes when Zakora shook her awake. Groggy and disoriented, Tanah rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, trying to focus on what Zakora was saying.

  Zakora pursed her lips, appraising Tanah for a moment. “Did you run away?”

  Tanah’s stomach turned to lead and her heart raced. Kotori had chosen to make a scene. She took a deep breath, forcing the rising panic down, and put a hand over her belly, instinctively protecting her child.

  Tanah swallowed hard and nodded.

  Zakora eyed Tanah’s hand on her belly with suspicion. “So, it’s true then.” It was a statement, not a question.

  Tanah closed her eyes and nodded again. She didn’t trust herself to speak. She had to keep herself together if she was going to figure a way out of this.

  Zakora nodded briskly. “We don’t have much time. Sorrell has ordered your return. He sent a man to find you.” Zakora shot Tanah a rueful glance and sighed. “The village cannot afford to anger Sorrell by hiding you, so you will be returned. Change your clothes quickly.”

  Tanah’s mind raced as fast as her heart. She was caught. They would force her to kill the baby inside of her, or they would kill him when he was born. She couldn’t breathe. The room was closing in on her. She sat up in the bed; certain she would lose the contents of her stomach.

  She fought the panic back, taking a deep breath. She couldn’t succumb to it. If she did, then she would be at their mercy. Hands shaking, she stood up and let Zakora help her change.

  There had to be a way to escape. She would keep her eyes open and escape as soon as she could.

  But her heart sank because she knew it was useless. He was a Tracker. He would find her, no matter where she went. It was his responsibility to bring her home, so she could one day lead her people.

  A people who would kill my child because of a prophecy, she thought bitterly. A people she had no intention of leading.

  When Zakora had finished helping Tanah dress, she pulled something out of her pocket. It was a simple silver chain with a jet stone hanging from it. Zakora slipped it over Tanah’s head.

  “Hide this stone inside your tunic,” Zakora said.

  Tanah furrowed her brow and looked at Zakora.

  “That is no ordinary stone, child.” She grabbed the stone and showed Tanah the back.

  Tanah could see there were tiny symbols carved into the stone. Not seeing how that made the stone all that unusual, many of her people had items carved with symbols, she raised her eyebrows at Zakora.

  Zakora lowered her voice to a barely audible whisper, moving close to Tanah. “This stone belongs to my sister, Naka. She lives in the forest. I know who you are; we’ve been waiting for you. When the man is distracted, pull out the stone, wrap your hand around it, and call Naka with your mind. She will assist in your escape.”

  Tanah blinked. Her breath caught in her throat. Someone to help her? She desperately wanted to believe it, but there were too many unanswered questions. She opened her mouth to ask, but there was a knock at the door.

  Zakora whispered, “There’s no time for more explanation. Just remember what I said.” She looked into Tanah’s eyes and grinned. The smile lit up her face, making her look years younger.

  Zakora quickly hugged Tanah, then hurried her out the door. Tanah took a deep breath. She bit the inside of her cheek. She could do this. There was a way out. A way to save her baby.

  # # #

  Tanah walked beside Kotori in silence. He hadn’t bothered to bind her because he felt assured she had nowhere to go.

  She couldn’t go back to the village she had just come from. No one there would take her in. Not after he’d let them in on the prophecy of the baby she carried. Sorrell was trusted throughout the land as the greatest Mage in generations. No one was willing to risk angering the gods by ignoring his prophecy.

  Tanah had been so hopeful when Zakora gave her the necklace. She patted her chest where the stone lay between her breasts. What good would the stone do now? Even if she could summon Zakora’s sister with it, what good would it do? No one would be willing to take her in now.

  Overcome with despair, Tanah contemplated giving up. There was no solution that she could find. Her baby would die on the basis of a prophecy.

  The thought sent shivers through her body.

  They entered the forest. Kotori chose a small path that Tanah was certain headed in the opposite direction of Rathowin. Her heart sped up and she broke out in a cold sweat. Kotori pushed her ahead of him on the path.

  “Stick to the trail,” he growled.

  Tanah swallowed hard. She had known Kotori all of her life. He was well suited to his job as a Tracker—hunting people down was something that seemed to give him far too much pleasure, in Tanah’s opinion. Once again she cursed her weakness during the festival when she had lain with him.

  That night she had seen a side of him that surprised her and awakened feelings for him she had not known existed. He had been kind and affectionate toward her, and she had fallen for it. The next day, he had been back to treating her with revulsion. Not for the first time, she wondered if Sorrell’s prophecy might not have some truth to it.

  She shook her head against such thoughts. Kotori’s blood might be bad, she didn’t doubt that, but the child also had her blood. He was innocent. He was hers, and she loved him. No, Sorrell was wrong.

  Tanah felt the love for her baby well up from her stomach and course through her whole being. No one would harm this child, not so long as she was alive.

  Her courage renewed, Tanah reached up and pulled the stone out from under her tunic. She clasped her hand tightly around the s
tone, thinking Naka’s name.

  Heart pounding, Tanah waited. Nothing happened. Please, oh please, Naka, hear me!

  She snuck a glance behind her, but Kotori was too busy searching the landscape to notice she had pulled out the stone. She breathed a sigh of relief.

  A rustle in the bushes just ahead of them made Kotori wrench Tanah’s arm to stop her. He gave her a smoldering look. She froze, but kept her hand around the stone.

  Zakora walked out of the bushes. Tanah blinked, her mouth dropping open. How had she made it into this part of the forest so quickly when she had been at the village when they left?

  Tanah could only assume Zakora knew a shorter route. Although Tanah was relieved to see someone whom she trusted, her stomach fell at the realization that Zakora was an old woman who had no power to help her.

  Beside her, Kotori appeared amused. “Did you get lost, or are you actually trying to follow us? Maybe you feel some pity for Tanah and hope to save her child,” he sneered.

  Zakora smiled. Tanah involuntarily took a step back. It was the smile of a predator that had just discovered her next meal.

  “Clearly, you’ve mistaken me for my sister.” The woman’s voice rang through the forest.

  “My name is Naka, and this is my home.” She narrowed her eyes at Kotori. “No one trespasses here.” Naka’s smile grew wider, baring teeth. She reminded Tanah of a she-wolf.

  Tanah dropped her hand from the amulet and swallowed hard. Twins. Naka and Zakora had to be twins; they looked exactly the same. Tanah’s hands shook uncontrollably. Twins were an evil omen, and were never allowed to live. One was always good, the other always bad, which is why both were exposed to the elements in the forest as soon as they were delivered.

  Tanah wrapped her arms around herself, trying to control the shivering. She glanced sideways at Kotori. His face was contorted, an expression somewhere between uncertainty and annoyance.

  As far as Tanah knew, no one had ever seen grown twins, so Kotori had to be wrestling with himself about whether to believe the woman. Tanah reached for the stone. It was radiating heat. She had no doubt this was Naka.

  A flash of light burst from the woman’s outstretched hand. Tanah cried out as she was thrown back into the low-hanging branches of a tree.

  It took her a moment to realize Kotori had pushed her out of the way. She heard a scream and looked up to see Kotori crumple on the ground in front of her, writhing in pain. Was he actually trying to save the baby?

  She gasped as she watched him thrash about. Tanah sat there frozen, unable to catch her breath. Eyes wide, her whole body shaking, she looked back to Naka.

  All hope vanished. She knew this woman would kill her. Naka’s eyes were cold, empty, when she looked at Kotori moaning in pain. Naka walked over to Tanah, and Tanah’s mind was suddenly blank.

  A strange peace had come over her. If it were the will of the gods that she must die today, then there was nothing she could do.

  She possessed no magick that could equal this woman’s. She squeezed her eyes shut, praying it would be quick.

  “Fool,” the woman spat.

  Tremulously, Tanah opened one eye. Naka was looking at Kotori with disgust, but when she turned her eyes on Tanah, they were full of light and warmth.

  Naka held out her hand. Trembling, Tanah took it and let Naka help her to her feet.

  “Are you hurt?”

  Tanah didn’t trust her voice, so she settled for shaking her head.

  “Good.” Naka nodded briskly.

  “You and Zakora are twins.” The words flowed out of Tanah’s mouth before she could stop them. She covered her mouth with her hand.

  The woman chuckled. “Yes, we are. But, that’s a story for another time, child.” Naka waved her hand in the air, dismissing the subject. “Now, we must get you and the baby to safety. As long as Sorrell is looking for you, the only safe place for you is deep in the forest, where those of us known as the Children of Uni live. There, we will protect you from Sorrell,” she cast a glare at Kotori, “and those who follow him.”

  Tanah’s head swam with questions, but suddenly she was too tired to ask any of them. The woman was a magician unlike any Tanah had ever encountered, which meant her baby was safe while she was with Naka.

  Naka began walking, but Tanah hesitated, looking at Kotori. She bit her lip. His moans had ceased, but he looked pale and appeared to be unconscious. She called out to Naka.

  “We can’t just leave him here. He’ll die.”

  Naka turned back to her with a quizzical look on her face. “He intended to see your baby killed on Sorrell’s orders. Would you see him live, only to complete his task?”

  Tanah shook her head. “I don’t think he wanted to see our child killed,” she said slowly. “He was taking me away in the opposite direction.” She kneeled down next to Kotori and ran her fingers down his cheek. “I think he was trying to save us.”

  Naka stroked her chin and was silent for a moment. She then closed her eyes, muttering something under her breath. Almost before Naka was done, two men walked swiftly out of the trees. Naka instructed the men to bring Kotori back as well.

  Tanah let out a breath. Her legs felt like rubber underneath her. Naka walked to her and put a reassuring arm around Tanah’s shoulders.

  “The men will find out Kotori’s intentions. If, as you believe, he means the child no harm, he will be free to go.” Tanah noted that Naka distinctly left out what would happen if Tanah were wrong about Kotori.

  Naka smoothed Tanah’s hair. “Your baby will be safe.”

  Tanah couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat. She tried to swallow it down, but tears welled up anyway. She covered her belly with her hands and felt the first fluttering of the life growing within her.

  About the Author

  S. M. Lowry lives in Oregon with her husband, children, and two dogs. She is currently working toward her B.A. in English Language and Literature.

  She has been writing off and on since she was young, but she did not begin to write seriously until recently. She writes fantasy, and is currently working on her first novel. She can be reached at: https://www.facebook.com/Sarah.Lowry.Writer

  Sweaty Sheets & Sleepless Nights

  By Joi Miner

  We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

  – Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

  I keep my demons on a chain

  But the bad asses they are

  They break loose sometimes

  Wreaking havoc on

  My body

  My spirit

  My mind…

  Tossing and turning, the mattress squeaked beneath the weight and movement. Loud moans bounced off the walls. Wrestling within the sheets, the headboard banged rhythmically. From the hallway, it sounded like Bonnie had a visitor. Like she was caught up in one of her many sexcapades. Until... the moans got louder.

  Turning into screams. The movements becoming violent as she kicked around.

  Normally, Bonnie could kick herself out of her nightmares. But some nights, she had what her grandmother called a witch on her back.

  Meaning that she was conscious enough to know that she was dreaming, but for some reason her subconscious would not release her back into the realm of the living. Bonnie referred to this as an out-of-body experience. It was kind of like watching the movie that was always on repeat in her head, but being glued to her seat, eyelids taped open during the most horrific scenes.

  Nights like these were why Bonnie preferred to sleep alone. She couldn’t predict when her dreams would turn from fairies and gumdrops to gory slasher films. She’d survived a lot of evils in her short life. Seen things that would have had most in straight jackets ramming their heads up against padded walls. She’d gotten through it by suppressing it, only sharing her triumphs in her writing. There she could express herself and alleviate the stress when it wore on her spirit t
oo heavily.

  But all the writing in the world couldn’t erase everything from her mind. On nights like tonight, it caught up with her. She had pushed some of the pain so deep into her mind that she had forgotten it.

  But at night, when she found herself at her mind’s mercy, her dreams oft played images of past atrocities in spurts. They had become more and more vivid lately. Maybe it was the stress of J’s death that had opened this door. Whatever it was, it had become less still photos and more feature films.

  The first night it happened, a few weeks ago, the bed had been so wet she thought she’d peed on herself. Once her heart rate had slowed, she remembered the full scope of her nightmare of her ex-husband’s abuse. She remembered how she’d cowered in the corner balled up begging for him to stop. It never did soon enough.

  She’d learned to stop begging and start praying. She would just pray and take herself to another place until he stopped punching and kicking her and walk away. She never got up immediately after he finished. She’d tried that once and he’d come back to whale on her again. She often stayed in the corner until the morning. Those nights she didn’t sleep. She listened to the house. Heard every creak, every breath, every movement.

  With him being a firefighter, the beatings would last sometimes for the entire 48 hours that he was off. He’d go to bed, get a good night’s rest, and come back, refreshed, to punish her again for whatever wrong she’d done to him. By the time she’d gotten the courage to leave him, she had mastered the art of staying up for two days straight, taking full care of Tzionne without making a sound for fear of disturbing him, and hiding her bruises from loved ones.

  All of this came flooding back. Bonnie had fought to catch her breath. After that night, she’d kept a brown paper bag in her nightstand to keep herself from hyperventilating. The dreams didn’t come every night but when they came, Bonnie knew there was no going back to sleep. She knew suppressing them would only make things worse in the long run. She would sit in her bed, feel the air from the ceiling fan cool her moistened skin, and cry, or scream, whatever she felt necessary.