Angel Star

by Jennifer Murgia

  He looked away for a second, as if searching for the answer to be etched on one of the stones in the wall, so intent was he on choosing the right words.

  My instincts prompted me to step closer to him.

  “Teagan, this is all so new to me,” he said cautiously. “Angels are portrayed and referred to as messengers of God. We’re made of light. We represent hope. We’re an example of the purest form of love, though for us to love another, as a human loves a human...it’s unheard of. But yet, I feel that for you.”

  His revelation fell on me with the crushing weight of a million mountains so that I could scarcely believe my ears. Yet, while I processed his words, nothing could prevent me from believing them. An angel, my angel, Garreth...loved me. His words flowed repeatedly through my brain, shifting and reshifting themselves. I found myself scraping the inside of my hand with what little fingernails I owned just to prove I could feel something because, logically, this really didn’t seem possible.

  As if sensing the turmoil inside me, Garreth took a step back. “I’m not asking you to feel the same. I’m not asking you to love me.”

  I shook my head. “I feel something, I...just don’t know what yet. This is all so sudden. Please don’t be disappointed.”

  With that, Garreth closed the space between us and took me in his arms. Kissing the top of my head, he said, “You could never disappoint me, Teagan.”

  This confession was beyond my wildest wishes, and so much more now that it was not just an ordinary human boy proclaiming his feelings for me. Garreth was so much more than that. I savored the realization of his words as he held me, feeling the wonder of who he was. Then the sweetness sank in. I was his, and in return, he was mine. There was absolutely nothing that could compare to this—an unbroken bond formed long ago in heaven, created and bound for all eternity.

  “In my eyes, guarding you is like protecting another angel. Your heart is so pure.” He softly swept my hair out of my eyes.

  I smiled up at him as his eyes caught and held the gentle golden light of the sun. He seemed a little nervous now that so much had been placed out in the open, wondering if I could reciprocate an emotion so foreign to him. An angel, nervous. It was almost funny to me. Here was a soul, one so perfect, made of love and light, wondering if I could love him back. Silently, I knew he was already everything I ever wanted. He was perfect, but I was trembling inside, wondering if this was all a dream, wondering if my instinct to jump into this blindly was wrong. A mistake.

  “Why did you choose to come into my life now? It’s so hard to believe that three days ago I had no idea…” I shook my head in wonder as I took his hand in mine and traced the star that was in his skin.

  “I couldn’t help but be drawn into your world. It was too hard to be outside it any longer,” he whispered against my cheek.

  Garreth led me to a small bench next to the altar.

  “But explain your world. You know mine, you’re here...you watch me every day.” I leaned forward, my elbows resting on my knees. I was eager to learn about this unseen realm, how easily it fit into the world I lived in. I found it fascinating. “Like this, for example. I want to know everything.” I took his hand again, turning it over, tracing the lines of his star with my finger.

  “Generally, each point in the star represents a lifetime. You are now upon the Judgment Point of your existence, the eighth point that allows your purpose to come full circle, therefore completing the Order of the Octagram.”

  “Judgment Point?” I asked.

  “The Judgment Point is just as it sounds. It’s when your destiny is revealed to you. The circle closes and your star is complete.”

  I looked at my own hand that was both plain and absurdly human, the bitten nails, the ragged cuticles, and tried to hide what I felt surfacing on my face.

  “What happens after that?”

  “It depends,” Garreth answered.

  “Does this mean I’m going to die soon?” I whispered.

  Garreth lifted my chin with one finger and tilted his head to one side. “No, you’re not going to die. Trust me, the universe has big plans for you.”

  “But if this is my last life, then...will you still be with me? When it’s over?”

  “Most likely, but I’ve never been through this with anyone before. I’m your Guardian.”

  This was all so hard to digest but, somehow, I felt reassured by Garreth’s presence.

  “Well, either way, you’re my angel and you’re here with me now.”

  But instead of the radiant smile I expected, his face suddenly crumpled with concern. Beneath the quiet blue reflecting back at me I saw something deeper.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked hesitantly.

  “I’ve known you for so long that your life has become mine. I’ve tried so hard to ignore and to accept that you are my charge, nothing more...but I couldn’t.”

  His brilliant blue eyes were suddenly full of something I couldn’t name and there was an edge to his voice that I couldn’t put my finger on.

  “I asked for something nearly impossible.” His voice was distant, reflective, and when my silence prompted him, he continued. “If I could have one moment to know you and for you to know me, in eight days’ time, then I would feel my duty as your Guardian is truly complete.”

  “Eight days?” That was all? I calculated quickly. Five days left. How was my heart supposed to live with that? Now I understood the protectiveness I felt whenever I was with him, the familiarity with him. My soul recognized my protector, my Guardian. And now I would lose him. The moment I first laid eyes on him that day in school, I knew my life was about to change significantly and now there was more to it: the truth, what he is, who he is...what we are to each other. I couldn’t give that up.

  Not yet.

  “Why only eight days?” I asked. It wasn’t enough.

  Garreth looked at me with intensity, folding my hands within his own. “As each point of the octagram represents an incarnation, each day that I am allowed here with you is as significant as a lifetime. Life in general revolves around the number eight, the universal symbol for infinity. It’s all I have been granted,” he whispered softly, almost sadly.

  I shifted closer to him, my body suddenly feeling an intense need to close the slightest distance between us. I watched his eyes turn softly toward me, watched the way the muscle beneath his jaw twitched as he focused on the words he was about to speak.

  “I came to you to help you understand that light cannot exist without dark. The world cannot have one without the other. It cannot survive on monotony. And no matter how peaceful we make our world, no matter how safe, light is not always prone to strength...it isn’t foolproof.”

  I forced my breathing to return to normal, although I couldn’t let go of the fact that we didn’t have much time left. And now he was cryptically explaining darkness and light? I was so confused.

  Garreth kissed my forehead gently and led me outside. “Darkness takes many forms. The time has come for me to tell you about Hadrian.”

  Chapter Nine

  There was no obvious reason why I should shudder at the name, yet I was very aware of the prickling sensation on my arms and I looked down to see the light hairs standing on end.

  Hadrian.

  Why should I respond so vehemently to a name my ears had never heard before? The look in Garreth’s eyes was clearly unsettling and I, in return, was filled with unfamiliar agitation.

  I placed my hand back into the safety of his warm one and asked the question my heart was dreading. “Who is Hadrian?”

  Garreth set his jaw tightly. I watched him cautiously.

  “He’s a dark angel.” His sweet voice deepened as he bowed his head.

  I realized at that very moment how scared I was beginning to feel. But what frightened me more was the strange feeling coming over me. The same feeling I had from the dreams I couldn’t remember. The same feeling that washed over me when I stood at the bus lane.

  There had be
en only one dark angel I had ever learned about and my skin crawled at the thought.

  “Is he...?”

  “No. But trust me, he’s just as lethal, perhaps even a bit more cunning. Hadrian was a Guardian originally, like the other angels. As he became more familiar with his human, much like I am with you, he became curious about how fear, anger, and even hatred could affect your world. It intrigued him. He became… How do I describe this? I suppose “enchanted” is the correct word...with the human psyche.”

  I sat down on the smooth curve of an uprooted tree, curiously spellbound by his words.

  “When the novelty wore off, he craved more. Something darker had settled in. Hadrian was created with all good intent, but the lust for power overwhelmed him. Like the humans he studied, he discovered that it is so much easier to give in to the havoc than it is to disregard it. He eventually set his sights on toying with another society. A hidden society that seemed untouchable, one he knew only too well.”

  “Other angels?” I guessed as I tried to follow how someone so pure and good could become so corrupted.

  “Yes. If he could conquer and control the Guardians then Hadrian would truly be victorious and he would control the most powerful army, an army of vulnerable, unprotected humans, molded into whatever he wants.”

  “But can’t God stop him?” I couldn’t understand how this could be happening. If God was the creator of all then certainly this wouldn’t be allowed.

  “It’s been foretold that there will be a second war in heaven, the first being the war of the Archangels, when Lucifer was banished. Lucifer can influence humans here on earth, bend the will of many to his own liking.

  “You see, an angel is sort of a direct link to one’s subconscious. We’ve perfected a way to tap into it. Heaven is here.” Garreth placed his fingertip on the center of my forehead. In an instant, I felt the cool breeze of the park we were in yesterday. “Listen carefully the next time you hear the little voice inside your head that steers you. It may not be your own.”

  With that he gave me the most incredible smile, and although it was somewhat pained, it outshone any sun.

  “Hadrian’s ultimate goal is to control the angels. Corrupting them will ultimately change how humans here on earth behave. It’s a domino effect, to take over what Lucifer has started. Hadrian has the highest advantage. He has the knowledge of a Guardian.”

  “So heaven isn’t a place? I thought it was pearly and white.” My head tilted up toward the treetops, which were thickly obscuring any sign of blue sky.

  “Heaven starts within. It’s your soul’s sanctuary. But Hadrian has the power to corrupt psychologically. He’s blatantly abusing his power as a Guardian.”

  “But wouldn’t Lucifer prevent Hadrian from challenging him?”

  “You would think so. But, you see, that’s what gives Hadrian the thrill, the constant hunger for more. Oh, sure, Lucifer will come after Hadrian, that’s inevitable. But until that moment comes, Hadrian will stop at nothing to get what he wants.”

  “Which is gaining control of the Guardians?” I asked as the truth finally hit me.

  Garreth looked off into the distance, reflecting. “So he can manipulate all humans on earth.”

  My heart sank for Garreth. He could protect me but who would protect him? I sat stunned by his words while an icy chill crept through my veins. My heart was racing as my mind played back my nightmares and the strange fluttering in my room as I prayed for sleep. I had hoped it was Garreth popping in to check on me while I slept. Who else could it have been? My mind had forced me to forget, and it all came rushing back in a sickening spiral as my subconscious formed the pieces of the puzzle.

  Without trying, I recognized the dark wings in the shadowy corners of my room. My thoughts had fought against it. Garreth didn’t reveal his secret from behind a shroud of shadows, he had delivered himself to me in a heavenly glow of light.

  I forced the words to escape my lips. “You said darkness takes many forms.”

  Garreth grew quiet for a moment.

  “You’re different from other humans, Teagan. You can sense when I’m near and it’s made you a bit of a magnet. Do you remember what happened right before you slipped off the curb? Can you recall what you saw?”

  “It was black and cloudy. Like thick exhaust coming from the bus, but I think I knew it wasn’t the bus.” I was struggling to remember. “It wasn’t anything like I’d ever seen before.” I shook my head, trying desperately to recall and escape the memory at the same time. “Was that...?”

  “Yes. Hadrian.”

  I shivered. “He wants me to lead him to you, doesn’t he?”

  This was too much for me. I shook my head, refusing to believe, but there it was. What a perfect package we made. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I wiped at them furiously with the back of my hand. Angels are used to emotions, but to me Garreth was still a boy, and there was no way he was going to see me cry.

  Garreth leaned forward, his face resting in his pale hands, and released a weary sigh. “Hadrian wants you. You’re different from the other humans he’s collecting for his army. I’m just an obstacle.”

  “How am I different?”

  “Do you wonder why Hadrian is willing to stand up to someone as foreboding as Lucifer?”

  I remained silent; it seemed he was avoiding my question.

  “Hadrian is Lucifer’s twin.”

  “That explains the dark tendencies,” I tried to add lightly.

  “Not entirely true. You see, Lucifer was cast out of heaven before he could become a Guardian. He refused. Hadrian on the other hand was the good brother, at first. The light brother, whereas Lucifer was his dark half. Dark by choice.”

  I concentrated hard on the words he spoke, as though the English language no longer made sense to me, and I instantly regretted not paying attention all those years I had taken CCD.

  Garreth continued. “You do know Lucifer was an Archangel, prior to the Great Fall, as was his brother Hadrian?”

  I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure.

  “The essence of the Archangel falls upon the human charge, like a bloodline. You are our one hope to stop Hadrian.”

  I wasn’t expecting that revelation. It didn’t make sense. “But you’re not an Archangel, are you?”

  “I wish I were, then I would have power against the darkness, but you, believe it or not, are stronger than I am.”

  “Me? How?” I fumbled over my words.

  Our eyes met in silence and I knew what he was going to say. I felt it in my core.

  “Hadrian was your father’s Guardian, so it is up to you to destroy him.”

  Chapter Ten

  My ears still couldn’t believe what they had heard. “My father?”

  For my entire life his existence had been a secret, save for a few pictures lingering around our house. I purposely kept him locked up in the back of my mind to keep from requesting explanations from my mother, explanations I knew would rip her heart open, revealing a wound I was sure had never healed. She loved him long ago. I, on the other hand, held no emotional ties to him. He was a stranger in my universe. Even now, I felt nothing.

  “Are you all right?” Concern shone in Garreth’s eyes. He was forever watching out for me.

  “Why is this up to me?” I was having trouble breathing. This was not what I had expected when I envisioned my Saturday with Garreth.

  He looked at me as we slowly began our trek back to the car. “Only a human with an Archangel bloodline can undo the havoc wreaked here. Only the pure of heart can stop this.”

  “I’m not that pure of heart. I hate Brynn Hanson, remember?”

  “Nice try, Teagan.” Garreth shook his head and laughed. “Seriously, what’s expected of you is important. Don’t you feel the slightest bit special?”

  I looked at him sideways. “Is that a trick question? Because I’m not finding anything special about this.”

  The sun no longer peeked through the trees overhead but i
nstead cast shadows at an angle that could only mean late afternoon. Between glances at my shoes, I looked up at Garreth in hopes of deciphering something, anything. I continued walking, picking up my pace. I was anxious to get away from all this green and clear my head. All this responsibility was unnerving me.

  “I’m still trying to understand the “bloodline” thing. I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head.

  Garreth paused for a moment to find words that would help me grasp this. “It’s the essence, the spirit, that is transferred to the human being guarded. It’s not blood, nor does it mean you’re related in any way. Think of it simply as a succession, like an inheritance being passed down through generations.”

  I let it sink in. “He had something to do with my father’s disappearance, didn’t he?” Garreth opened the passenger door for me when we reached the car and I climbed numbly up onto the seat. “Maybe he knew too much?”

  “Your father certainly understood that angels, light and dark, existed. Perhaps that was reason enough for your father to be a threat. Either way, something happened to allow Hadrian to turn like he did. Perhaps it was simply a show of power to Lucifer.”

  Garreth had said the essence of an Archangel flowed through my veins like blood. That I was the only hope for the Guardians. I shook my head in despair. I was barely passing French class. What hope could I be?

  There was just enough clearing to turn the Jeep around, allowing us to head out to the main road. We were both quiet as Garreth seemed to respect my need to let my thoughts churn. He took my hand and I sighed. I didn’t want to leave him just yet, especially now that I knew we only had a few days left. What made it worse was that I sensed these last days together were not going to be pleasant; they would, in fact, be the darkest days of my entire life.