Angel Star

by Jennifer Murgia

  I looked into Mathur’s face, his wrinkles and lines like a timeline of the ages. I silently wondered how old he was and he began to chuckle.

  “I am older than time, my child. Yet, somehow, in less than eight days, you learned more than one could in a lifetime. Tell me, do you like what you find inside yourself?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then your Judgment is complete.”

  “It’s complete? I don’t understand. Don’t I have to stand in front of anyone, like a panel? Don’t I have to stand up in front of God?”

  “Child, you already have. Your Judgment is your own, and when you can look inward and see that you are changed and like what you see, then it is by your own hand that you are judged. You are His creation, and when you can take the extra step to become more than a simple wish of His, then the purpose is fulfilled.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I kept thinking the hard part was still coming but I had already survived the biggest part of my challenge.

  “You look sad, child. What is it that you wish?” Mathur’s smile was soft. He knew what I wished for but it didn’t count if I didn’t ask for it myself.

  “I want to see Garreth, please.”

  Within a breath of my asking, I felt the air around me change and the warm static that swirled from behind me announced his arrival. I closed my eyes, savoring the spicy scent that tingled my nose, and a smile spread wide across my face. When I opened them he was standing in front of me, looking more beautiful than ever: his sandy hair still hanging in front of his blazing blue eyes, his smile, his jaw, his presence perfectly sculpted for me alone. I threw my arms around him and his arms tightened on me, lifting me off the ground. His embrace was strong yet unbelievably tender. We said nothing, knowing that words could not fully explain what we both felt at that moment.

  His warm hands touched my face, tracing it, as though trying to never forget it. “Are you all right?” he finally asked.

  I nodded as he smiled down at me. Suddenly, birds were chirping and I turned to see a pair of swings hanging quietly beneath a familiar tree.

  “How did we...?”

  “Heaven is here, remember?” Garreth kissed my forehead.

  I took his hands in mine, feeling their warmth return, and I held them tightly, never wanting to let go again.

  “You were bleeding.” He held me away from him for a moment, looking at my hands where Hadrian’s feathers had pricked me.

  “You saw...us?”

  Something dark and unwanted passed through me as I remembered the bits and pieces I would rather forget. I felt sick to my stomach, not because Hadrian had placed me under his spell but because a small part of me had enjoyed it; a very small part that, if I could, I would crumble to bits and set fire to it. Garreth lifted my face to his, still holding me, unable to let me go.

  “He’s very…” I began.

  “Persuasive?”

  “Is he gone now? Please tell me he’s gone.”

  “Yes, he’s gone.” His voice was steady with reassurance but I was sure his eyes hid something else. I quickly dismissed it. I was still so shaken by all that had happened it was no wonder I was reading too much into things.

  Hadrian had fooled me once already but he was gone now and my perfect angel was the one standing in front of me. I thought of the dagger slicing Hadrian’s palm. I had almost aimed for his heart. Who would have known that he held his heart in the palm of his hand: his octagram, the one source of all his power, like any true Guardian.

  Hadrian’s star was different from Garreth’s, linking his light and dark sides, both competing for precedence. It was obvious that neither would win. I let out a deep sigh. Hadrian was gone. So why couldn’t I shake this feeling?

  I turned my attention back to Garreth. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I was so afraid I would lose him again.

  “It’s time to take you home,” he said.

  I nodded. “But you’re coming too, right?” There was no hiding the strain in my voice. I just couldn’t bear being separated from him again, not even for an instant.

  “You know I can’t stay long, Teagan.” There was pain in his eyes. “Remember that I’m not really part of your world.”

  “You have two days left, at least give me that much.”

  Garreth smiled down on me. Even with the wounds Hadrian had given him he still looked like a perfect angel. Yet they made him look human, and even though I knew they would heal at a rate faster than a human’s would, I still couldn’t shake the image of him lying in blood. Had he been an ordinary human, he would be dead.

  “You’ll be home soon. Sleep now.”

  “I don’t want to sleep. I want to stay awake with you.”

  “Teagan.” He was smiling that magnificent smile I loved so much. “There’s no reasoning with you, is there?”

  “Nope.” I stifled an enormous yawn.

  “You’re impossible. Number one, you’re exhausted. You should be in a state of shock after all you’ve endured. And, number two, you can’t stay awake for this. It’s kind of against the rules.”

  “I’m not that tired.” I tried to sound convincing but, really, I was pleading. “Besides, don’t you think I’ve already witnessed enough that’s against the rules?”

  “Have I told you you’re adorable when you’re flat-out exhausted?” He let out another laugh. “And you babble when you’re tired.”

  I looked at him closely. Tonight was definitely not the best night to risk talking in my sleep, especially when I might let something about Hadrian slip out. But who was I kidding? Garreth was my angel and my life was an open book to him.

  “I do not babble.”

  He raised his eyebrows without uttering a peep and a little smile grew at the corners of his mouth.

  “I’m afraid you’ll disappear if I close my eyes.” It was a whisper that trickled out of me, and he took me in his arms, saying nothing in response to my fear.

  I pressed my face into his chest. As I listened to the drumbeat of his heart, my eyelids had a preset plan and there was no point in fighting them any longer. I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  I sat up, sweating. My heart was pounding at a dangerous rate. It was dark and it took a bit longer for me to realize where I was. A hand reached out from the dark and swept my hair from my eyes.

  “Garreth?” My eyes adjusted slowly. “How long have I been asleep?”

  I tried to look at my clock but couldn’t find it, and then remembered that a lot of things were out of place in my room. I had a lot of cleaning up to do.

  “You’ve been sleeping for three hours.”

  “Three hours? You should have woken me as soon as we got back.” Didn’t he realize how long three hours is? It’s a huge chunk of time lost when it should be carefully spent now.

  He was grinning, enjoying my distress. “But you were babbling. I didn’t have the heart to wake you and deprive you of your...what do girls call it? Beauty rest?”

  Oh, no. Babbling.

  I put my face in my hands.“What was I saying?” I couldn’t look at him.

  “Well, for starters, you said you loved me and then there were a few things I couldn’t quite understand. Like I said, you’re prone to babbling.”

  Okay, I can look up now.

  “Is it true that you love me?” he whispered, leaning closer.

  “Yes. It’s true.”

  Then, leaning even closer, he placed the sweetest, softest kiss his lips could possibly allow on my lips. “You did mention Hadrian’s name a few times. Not many, but a few.”

  “And?”

  Do I really want to know?

  He looked away for a moment, taking his light with him. I felt left in the dark in more ways than one.

  Oops, what have I done?

  “Garreth?”

  He turned to me, the dim glow of his skin illuminating my face.

  “It was the way you said his name. As you slept, there were moments when you sounde
d downright terrified. I almost woke you up. I feel so guilty for leaving you to face him. And then, when your panic subsided, you...I don’t know. You sounded almost as if it was Hadrian you wanted.”

  He took my hand, carefully cradling it in his own, and looked at my mark, putting an end to that conversation. “Does it still bother you?”

  “No, it’s all right.”

  His finger traced the scrolling embedded in the skin of my right hand, then let it follow the tender flesh of my wrist, trailing it ever so softly up the inside of my arm. I shivered at the warm, prickling sensation it left behind. I watched, amazed his touch didn’t leave behind a visible trail.

  When Garreth raised his face to mine, I was weakened by how blue his eyes were even in the dim light of my bedroom.

  “Thank you for saving me,” he whispered.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I didn’t realize until now that we’ve sort of come full circle with each other.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He tilted his head to the side and gazed at me. “I’m so used to being the one to help you that when I was the one in need of help, I... I’m just very grateful.”

  I smiled back at him. He was right. It was amazing how things had changed over the last few days. How both he and I had changed.

  “It makes me feel sort of...human.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No. Not at all. Now that you seem to be well in charge of things, perhaps becoming earthbound isn’t such a foreboding idea.”

  “But you wouldn’t be able to save me from anything anymore.”

  “Ahh, that’s where you’re mistaken, my dear.” He planted a warm kiss on my lips. “I can save you from the persuasive dark angel in your dreams.”

  “Are you jealous...of a dream?”

  “Very,” he answered.

  Without warning, his hands were cupped at my jaw and his lips were on mine, only this time his kisses were hard, urgent, wildly human. His hands dropped to my shoulders where he let his thumbs slide the fabric of my shirt away from my skin. I tore at the buttons of his shirt but he stopped me, capturing my hands in his. He let go only to smooth away a lock of hair that had fallen against my neck. When I felt the soft warmth of his breath there, kissing the exposed flesh of my collarbone, it brought goosebumps and odd tremors to my skin.

  Soon my hands were in his hair and with the moonlight streaming through my window I saw he was perfectly disheveled when he pulled himself away. His shirt was practically ripped from his chest, revealing the smoothness of his skin. His eyes were so blue and wild that it almost hurt to look at him. He was flawless. Something I would never be, especially after what I allowed with Hadrian. Yet, I had just reduced Garreth to this breathless state. Perhaps there was a bit of power in me after all.

  “What was that?” Garreth asked me.

  As my own breathing became more controlled, I was pleasantly surprised to see he was still struggling.

  “Wow. Do I have the same effect on you?” I couldn’t hide the smile forming.

  “What do you mean?”

  Was he really blind?

  “You make me feel like this all the time,” I admitted softly. I was finding it easier to tell him how I felt.

  “Do you mean to tell me I make you feel as if your breath has just rushed out of your chest all the time?” he was smiling, inching closer to me.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “And do you mean to tell me that your heart races just a teensy bit faster when my lips are...say, right about here?” His lips were at my neck again. He was enjoying this game immensely. And me? I felt all weak and fluttery, as if I were the one with the wings and they were holding me up as the rest of me just melted away.

  His mouth brushed my shoulder. “Mmm, you’re so tempting.”

  “Then stay.”

  “I did. The sun’s coming up.”

  I looked reluctantly at the pale streak of light creeping its way across my floor.

  “Explaining to your mother why I’m here would be awkward, but I have a surprise for you now and one for later.”

  He could see the disappointment on my face as he pulled me to my feet. I flung my arms around his neck, as if they could stop him from leaving. It was then I noticed my clock, perfectly placed upon my once-upturned nightstand. I spun around, looking in disbelief at my room. It was as if nothing had ever happened.

  “When did…?”

  I turned to Garreth, searching for an answer, but he was already gone.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  After checking and rechecking my appearance in the full-length mirror for any sign that would send up my mom’s red flag, I decided to just get it over with and headed downstairs. I found her busy at the kitchen sink.

  “Oh, Teagan. I didn’t hear you come down.” She stuck half of her upper body into the cabinet below to get a clean garbage bag. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  Sleep? When did I sleep? Oh, yeah, when Garreth magically knocked me out on our way home from...where had I been again?

  “Are you all right?” She was looking at me kind of funny.

  Oh, geez, here we go.

  “I’m fine, Mom. Why? Don’t I look fine?”

  “I guess…well…” She let it drop. “You look a little different, that’s all. Are you hungry?” My mother turned and went about stuffing the new bag into the almond-colored garbage bin and stashed it back under the sink.

  That’s a relief.

  I leaned over and peered into the side of the shiny stainless steel toaster as soon as her back was turned. I looked distorted, but as far as I could tell, there was nothing too abnormal about my reflection. If she only knew what I had really been through.

  “I’ll just grab some cereal,” I said, making for the stack of clean bowls in the dish drainer.

  “Oh, come on. Let me make you some breakfast. Eggs sound good? How about bacon?”

  My nose turned up at the word. “Uh, let’s nix the bacon.”

  “Right.” I knew she was seeing the same mental picture of the last time this kitchen produced bacon for breakfast. It wasn’t a pretty sight, seeing me faint and then splashed with soapy dishwater to bring me out of unconsciousness.

  An overwhelming sense of obligation surfaced in me. “How was the funeral?”

  “It was nice, honey. Don’t feel bad that you weren’t there. I’m sure everyone knows you wanted to be and they understand.”

  I felt a little better, knowing I had avenged Claire’s death, and now that Hadrian was gone, it was nice to think of finally getting some sleep around here. But, somehow, I knew he would always haunt me, even if he wouldn’t be lurking in the shadows anymore. He would haunt me with the memory of the way he had made me feel at the end, just when I was about to take his life. I closed my eyes, wishing away the thought from my mind, and strangely, a part of me didn’t want it to leave entirely. How could I have just spent time making out with my angel boyfriend and then come down here and remind myself of the fleeting moments when Hadrian had almost seduced me? What kind of person was I? I felt like the monster.

  “Are you seeing Garreth today?” Mom’s face beamed with the silly “you-have-a-boyfriend” look.

  “He said he has a surprise for me.” I shoved my spoon into my mouth so I wouldn’t have to answer the questions I saw in her eyes.

  “Oh, that reminds me. There’s a surprise here for you too.”

  She made her way to the back door. For a minute I thought she was going to ask me to take out the garbage, but instead she reached up to the hook on the wall and took down an unfamiliar key. It bounced from hand to hand as she playfully flipped it over, but I couldn’t read the look on her face. It was happy and concern all jumbled together and I was beginning to think she’d lost her mind. Then, finally, she slid the key across the table to me.

  It was a car key. The black rubber end was engraved with the initials VW. My heart stopped when I recognized it. I got up
from my chair and slowly walked to the window, and sure enough, parked alongside our little brick garage was Claire’s white Volkswagen Cabrio.

  Before I had a chance to ask, my mom was by my side, her arm around my shoulders, and we stared at it together in silence.

  “Simon’s going to graduate school in Indiana and so the Meyers have decided to put their house up for sale and go with him. I think it’s a good idea that they all start over, fresh. Looks like you’ve finally got yourself a set of wheels.”

  I didn’t know what to say except, “I can’t take Claire’s car.”

  “Claire’s mom says that car is as much yours as it was Claire’s. She insisted that you have it. It’s a great little car and the best part is that it’s paid off. You’ll just have to take over the insurance payments.” She plopped the key into my hand.

  “Which brings me to my next surprise. There’s a part-time opening available at the library. It’s only ten hours a week but it would be enough to pay for your insurance and gas, along with some extra spending money to go out with friends.”

  “What friends?” I whispered to the window.

  My mother paused at my sadness. “Well, for now it’ll be savings money then. And it means you and I can spend more time together instead of you coming home to an empty house. What do you say?”

  I couldn’t bring myself to destroy the hopeful look on her face.

  “Maybe, Mom. Can I think about it? I mean, I guess I need a job now. I’m just not sure if I want to work at the library.”

  “Sure, sweetie. Maybe you should go out and find your own thing. You could use a fresh start too.”

  I instantly felt as if I had deflated her but I couldn’t promise anything right now.

  She left me staring numbly through the glass. I didn’t know what to do next. Do I go get ready for school? Do I call Claire’s parents and thank them? My thoughts were answered for me.

  “Go get ready now. You’ll have enough time to call the Meyers to thank them before school.”

  My mom was as cool as a cucumber. I couldn’t understand how she could be so calm about me suddenly owning a car, knowing full well that I would want to drive it right away. It occurred to me that perhaps all along I was the worrywart of our family. No, she definitely had her fair share of it too. But, regardless, something in the air had made us both change, both able to let go and accept the changes we normally wouldn’t think of allowing ourselves.