“I’m very real, thanks to you.”
“But I killed you.”
“Transformed would be more appropriate. You cannot kill a Guardian, merely alter one.”
I shook my head. This couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. Reality was hitting hard. I needed to get out of there, but Hadrian’s firm hand anchored me.
“Before you judge me, please listen to me.”
I trembled, inches away from my greatest enemy, as the darkness from beyond the window softly crept into my head. I was dizzy, woozy, and I had no choice but to stay.
Chapter Thirty-one
I woke up as if from a vivid nightmare. I was lying on the floor, watching streaks of light play and mingle with the colored triangles of stained glass. I rolled over. Hadrian was lighting a red candle, his back turned to me. I could hear rain falling steadily outside the chapel but it did not fall through the open roof above me. I looked up into the dark, waiting to be splashed in the face. I remembered the tower that once stood there, stretching high into the sky, the tower Hadrian and I had floated up into...floating...spiraling... I closed my eyes for a second, seeing two faces: Hadrian’s and Garreth’s. The spinning sensation came back to me, dizzying me. I sighed in agreement. My life was spiraling out of control.
“You’re supposed to dead.” My chest rattled with the breath I drew in too quickly.
Hadrian turned immediately at the sound of my voice and walked over to me, slowly, stopping just before I would feel he was too close.
“Haven’t you learned that death is a beginning? Besides, I already told you, you can’t kill what isn’t human.” He crouched down and gently took my hand, opening it to reveal my palm. “You have this power, and still you are unclear as to what it means.”
He was so different now, not as menacing as in the car. But, of course, my own fear played a large role in how he appeared to me. He spoke with tenderness and his eyes were full of warmth, though something lingered there...misunderstanding and hurt and I felt too tired to fight or even fear him. My hand was open in front of me, my mark displayed. The etching had become deeper and more pronounced. Daily, it was becoming a permanent part of me.
“I have known you your entire life, Teagan.” He gently traced the outline of my mark with his finger. “Close your eyes and you can make it disappear.”
“I can’t do that! You just want me to get rid of it so I’m powerless against...”
“Just try it. You control your mark.”
He was smiling at me and I had no choice but to try it. I squeezed my hand shut and then opened it. It was gone! I opened and closed my hand over and over but it was truly gone.
I looked up at Hadrian, anger surfacing. “I want it back.”
“Then wish it so.”
I expected him to fight me on this, saying it was too late and gone for good. It confused me that perhaps he was simply giving me a lesson. With all my heart I wished for it, and as soon as I opened my hand, it was there again. Relief swept through me. I wanted to cry.
My heart was pounding. “I don’t understand.”
“You have the power to make things happen.” He took my chin in his hand and tilted it up toward the light of the candles. “My feet have worn a path I no longer wish to follow, but that path cannot be erased and I will forever pay for my actions. You sliced the octagram in half, dividing me. For the longest time, I couldn’t see who I was because something else was always covering it, and I, too, feared what I couldn’t see. You broke that in me. Don’t you see, Teagan? That is your power. You are the key to truth. The truth of what is in each and every one of us.”
His expression was so serious and genuine. Did he truly want to reform? Was that why I felt drawn to him, because I could see what good was left in him? Could I help repair him somehow?
“Yes, you can. You can help me.”
“But how did you know what I was thinking?” I asked, although I wasn’t shocked.
“Like I said, I know you so well, Teagan.” He leaned closer to me, placing his hand in mine, a hand that felt warmer now. “I fear I have done too much harm here in this world where you belong. If heaven offers me a second chance…” Hadrian looked away and didn’t finish.
He tilted his face toward mine again and the light caught his eyes. For the first time, I saw a hint of green behind the ebony.
The darkness was lifting, letting the light he used to be shine through, allowing it to break through what had controlled him for so long. He was beautiful and light, and soon he would be whole again. He could be what was planned for him so long ago. An angel. I could help him, I knew that now. That was my power. To heal. To bring the truth.
His lips were inches from mine. I breathed him in. I wanted him to stay... I wanted…
I heard a scraping sound come from beneath me. From the corner of my eye, I saw colors of light moving on the floor, sliding across it. The triangles of colored glass met, forming a design.
As if the floor had a mind of its own, it formed a circle around us, the sharp points of the red stained glass forming an octagram. Suddenly, the candles toppled over, the spilt wax merging with the outline. Their tiny flames grew larger and taller by the second. We were trapped inside the circle, inside the heart of the octagram, surrounded by an awesome power.
“Teagan!” Someone was calling me.
I was being pulled out of my dream and I didn’t want to leave. It was so warm here, I wanted to stay. But I was yanked away from it and thrown. It was only when I hit the cold floor outside the circle that I could see clearly what was happening.
In the center of the octagram, Garreth and Hadrian stood facing each other as flames licked at their legs, threatening to take one of them down. Two angels. One of light, the other of darkness. Both beautiful. Both powerful. One of love and the other of destruction. And there I was, outside the circle, and I wanted them both.
If Garreth hadn’t shown up, I would have been convinced I could change Hadrian. Did I really have the power to make him as God wanted him—and keep him for myself? I understood then that nothing comes without a price. How far would I have gone before I realized that? I would give anything to have Garreth’s invisible and unconditional love around me, then let Hadrian take his place in the human world.
Garreth stood strong as the flames threatened to reach within the circle. He stared into Hadrian’s fierce glare, ready for anything and forever my protector. “She seems to see something in you that I don’t believe exists.”
“Oh, don’t let her innocence fool you. She has a dark side.”
“Don’t you think I know her well enough to know that?” Garreth offered.
Hadrian’s laugh sent shivers down my spine. I couldn’t deny it any longer; there was something about Hadrian that I needed. That I wanted. But Garreth meant more and I only hoped I could make him believe that.
I frantically searched my thoughts for the purpose I could offer. What price would anyone be willing to pay for the one they loved? I knew, without a doubt, because it surrounds me each and every day. Sacrifice.
I pulled myself to my feet and stepped inside the circle. The flames threatened to take me but the only part of my body that felt intense heat was my right hand. As I moved between the two angels, with my hand held high in front of Hadrian, I let the flames’ heat seep into the lines of my palm, activating the power of my Guardian stored within me.
Hadrian’s face crumpled as he looked at me innocently, and I trembled inside, questioning just for a second what might have been. Then a pair of strong hands were on my shoulders, convincing me I was right. Garreth’s gentle scent strengthened me, shattering Hadrian’s perfect illusion.
The truth to see beyond; to uncover what truly lay beneath the façade. That was all Hadrian really was. A façade.
The world tipped then and the black sky above the ruined tower was now beneath our feet, swirling and spinning below us, an angry hole sucking in anything it could grab from our world. The room appeared illuminated by a th
ousand fires as shards of colored glass flew past us into the dark, swirling cavity. My hand burned ferociously and I anchored it with my left hand as the full and final power of the light Garreth had given me surged out of it and smashed squarely into Hadrian’s chest. I felt sick, wanting to turn away, but Garreth’s hold on me was strong and sure.
Hadrian’s feet lost hold, and he desperately grabbed onto my hand, clinging to the power it held. I met his eyes, the green of his, flashing in the flames’ glow as he tried to convince me to help him. I closed my eyes and willed my beautiful scrolled mark to disappear from my palm.
At last I knew the power I could wield.
My eyes opened and the lifeline Hadrian clung to was gone, sending him plummeting down into the darkness. But the floor no longer wished to hold us and Garreth pushed me to the stones outside the circle just as the glass octagram splintered and fell in pieces into the abyss beneath. We stood staring as the colors disappeared after Hadrian.
We were then immersed in a great orange light. The flames were out of control. Soon the tiny chapel was filled with thick, gray smoke that seemed to tear the skin from the inside of my throat. Within seconds, Garreth and I were lost to each other.
“Garreth!” I screamed. My voice stretched itself over the expanse of the room, seeking him. “Garreth!”
I dropped to my knees, desperate to avoid breathing in the ashes that danced around me like phantoms. I willed myself to crawl, though where I was crawling to I had no idea. My hands reached out in front of me, feeling for anything substantial and I felt the wall give way and crumble to the ground. I clawed my way through the stones, my skin tearing away from my fingertips. At last, I made it to the ground on the other side. I sucked the cool air into my lungs but the woods hung heavy with smoke and shadows as ashes flew and clung to the trees and branches. Tiny sparks projected themselves above the inferno and hovered, airborne and still, as if calculating where they wanted to land before falling gracefully to the ground, setting the dry brush into miniature fires.
Garreth was nowhere to be seen and panic bled itself into my bones.
The fire was spreading. I saw the flames race past the clearing and out toward the road. The air rang with sirens and it felt like the whole town was on fire. I was spent, my legs refusing to move anymore. With my head pressed against the smooth, worn bark of our old tree, I began to sob uncontrollably. My chest was heavy with fatigue. All I could think of was Garreth, and suddenly the hole in my heart ripped all the way open with fear. Hadrian, it seemed, was gone for good, but in the end, I feared Garreth was gone as well.
I felt smoke weave itself around me, clouding my senses. I closed my eyes to the sweet song of the sirens and cried for my Guardian.
Chapter Thirty-two
I let my head roll to the side as the room spun then slowed around me. At last I could make out white cabinets, a single gray chair, a commercial linoleum floor. I looked for the source of a sound that had been repeating itself in my ears, the constant hum of a machine in the room with me. It sounded like water flowing and briefly I envisioned it to be the contents of my heart pouring out of me. That would explain why I could no longer feel it.
A big metal box on legs was the culprit so I closed my eyes again, preferring sleep to wondering how I managed to be in the hospital. A shuffling sound joined the hum, and I forced my eyes to open.
“Hi, sweetie,” My mom leaned over me. She looked as if she hadn’t slept for a week. “The doctor will be in soon.”
I opened my mouth to speak but my lips felt all dry and cracked. I wanted to ask if anyone had found Garreth. At the thought of his name, I couldn’t help but cry again.
“Oh, shhh. Don’t, honey, you’re going to be okay.” My mother glanced over her shoulder and stepped aside.
“Well, now, how’s our patient?”
I couldn’t see his face from where I lay but I saw a redness flush its way into my mom’s cheeks. He stepped into view, pausing to smile at my mother, then he lifted my right hand, which for some reason I failed to notice until now was bandaged heavily with white gauze. I looked at the doctor, then my mom, then back to the doctor again.
“I don’t need to tell you how lucky you are, young lady. The whole town practically went up in flames last night and only your hand was injured. You’re a hero, you know,” he said, nodding his head.
Hero? Why am I a hero?
I wanted to interrupt and ask a zillion questions but I couldn’t get my tongue to reach the roof of my mouth to form the words. And, whenever I breathed too deeply, it felt like my chest was about to explode.
My mom’s gaze dropped to my wrapped hand. “Will there be much scarring?”
“Unfortunately, yes, but the burn looks sort of like a design. It will be a great battle wound to show to your friends.” The doctor went to the foot of the bed and began writing something down on my chart.
Battle wound. Good one.
The doctor looked up from his notes. “You’ll have the use of your hand back in no time. Just a few more weeks of school, huh? Almost time for graduation?”
“One more year,” my mom answered for me. She was keeping the conversation going with the doctor, happy to use me as an excuse.
“Junior, huh? I have a daughter your age.”
I strained my eyes to see his name tag but the last name didn’t ring a bell.
He continued. “I just don’t understand how you... All I have to say is, you’re both very lucky. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. Get better, Teagan. Okay?”
The doctor tapped the foot of my bed with his hand and stepped out of the room, but not without one final smile, which was obviously for my mother.
“What was that all about?” I finally managed to croak.
“I’m not really sure,” she admitted, but the look on her face told it all.
Change couldn’t be avoided any longer, and whether she was ready for it or not, life had a plan for my mom. In sharing this weird little moment with her, my face inevitably fell and gloom filled me like helium.
“Not what you planned for a first date, was it?” She sat at the edge of the bed, fingering the scratchy hospital blanket.
I turned my head, my eyes were filling with tears again. “Did the whole town really go up in flames?” I asked.
“Just some of it. Mostly fields, though. Bartlett’s skating rink is gone. The police are still investigating.”
My cheeks burned at the thought of having to admit I was the one responsible for the fire. Mentioning Hadrian and pleading insanity might work, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“The fire marshal thinks the cause was electrical.”
“Electrical?”
“You know, from that old warehouse where the kids have been hanging out? They should have torn down that dump long ago. I’m sure everyone will be happy when it’s finally gone.” She touched my cheek. “Are you thirsty? I’ll run down to the cafeteria for some tea, or maybe I can find a nurse around here.”
My mother was up and sticking her head out into the hallway before I could object, then she pulled it back in. “I’ll be right back. Just close your eyes and rest.” And she was gone.
I did as I was told because there was nothing better to do. Instantly, I regretted it. My mind began to wander in the silence of the sterile room, searching for signs of Garreth. I had never felt so alone. I tried to will fluttering sounds to come from the corners of the little room, or perhaps from behind the curtain, but they wouldn’t come.
I was resigned to give up when I heard it. Faint but true. I felt him near me. I smelled him, though it wasn’t his scent alone. It was mixed with the fire that had burned around us in the chapel, spicy, pungent, smoky—but still his. I wanted to open my eyes to see if he was really there beside me. But I knew he wouldn’t be. Not here. I didn’t want to spoil this moment so I kept my eyes tightly shut.
“You can open them, silly.” His voice was beautiful, husky.
“I don’t want t
o. You’re not really here and if I can’t see you I’ll be a mess.”
“Just open them,” he said softly. He lifted my bandaged hand then placed it back gently at my side.
I let my eyes open and settle on the brilliant light in front of me. I couldn’t see him. Oh, why did I listen? This was how it was going to be from now on, until it was my turn to follow. I might as well get used to it. But then the sun moved behind a cloud, shifting its light and I shook my head in disbelief.
“You’re here? You’re really here? How?”
I must have looked like an idiot, beaming uncontrollably in my blue-and-white hospital gown. Then it dawned on me and I was even more dumbstruck. Garreth was sitting on the edge of my bed wearing an identical hospital gown and looking incredible in it, in a way I never could. We both broke into laughter and he leaned over to kiss me.
“You’re real?” I think it was more of a question I was asking myself but it escaped me and I said it out loud.
“That’s some power you have. Even I had no idea of its strength.”
I just shook my head. I didn’t know what to say or ask.
Garreth continued, “It boiled down to one thing. Truth.” He picked up my bandaged hand again. “To create unity within your spirit is a hard thing, but you managed. You held what you believe in your heart, and never let it go. You never lost yourself. Even though you admit that a bit of darkness lures you, you never caved. Seeing through Hadrian was almost impossible and Mathur and the other Guardians are very proud of you.”
“But how can you be here with me? I thought you were gone forever. The fire…”
His kiss stopped my rambling. “Looks like I’m here to stay.”
“You mean...?” I stumbled over my words. “Are you…?”
“No, not completely, like you. What you did, when you came after me, showed me that as long as you believe in something then any risk is worth taking, even if you risk failing. You see, I have to stay.”
Angel Star Page 18
