Never Standing Still

by Anie Michaels

The most interesting part of the picture, however, was the part of his body between his abs and his thighs.

  The hand that wasn’t holding the camera was gripping the waistband of his underwear, right below his navel, and pulling the fabric down. Down. Low. There was an obvious bulge, but nothing was visible except just the base of his cock, which was also covered by the most delicious manscaping. It was the happiest trail I’d ever seen in my life, and I immediately started to regret our text conversation.

  I was suddenly very hot, squirming in my bed, and very alone.

  **You’re right. This was a bad idea.**

  I bit my thumbnail as I waited for his reply. I was startled when my phone started ringing, Riot’s name appearing on the screen. My finger came up, trembling slightly, swiping to the right to answer. I put the phone to my ear, but said nothing, could form no words.

  “Kal,” he growled, his voice low and raspy.

  “Yeah?” I tried to reply, whispering, just air moving through my lips.

  “Fuck, Kalli, I hate that you’re so far away.” He was groaning, my name falling from his mouth with such angst, with need. I couldn’t help but picture his hand moving under his briefs and my eyes fluttered closed at the thought, my breath catching. It was ironic that he thought I was far away, because in some ways, I’d never felt closer to someone than I did in that moment. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice so rough, he almost sounded angry.

  “Lying in bed,” I managed.

  “Touch yourself.”

  “Ri,” I groaned, a blush spreading from my chest upward. “I’ve never…,” my words trailed off, my brain partially malfunctioning.

  “You’ve never touched yourself?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “No, I mean, I’ve never had phone sex before.”

  “Hmmm…,” he groaned again, and the pulsing between my legs became almost painful. “Well, we could stop and hang up, but at this point, I’m doing this with or without you, and I’d much rather do it with you, babe.”

  Oh. My. Fucking. God.

  “Okay,” I breathed.

  “Good girl,” he said, the smile still evident in his voice. “Now, why don’t you take off your bra and panties? I want to know you’re naked.”

  I put my phone down and with still shaking hands quickly did as he’d asked. My hands fumbled and I ended up giggling nervously, but calmed myself before I picked the phone back up.

  “Okay,” I whispered. “Done.” There was a pause. “Now what?” I stifled a laugh. I was nervous and uncomfortable, unsure of what was supposed to come next.

  “Are you laughing?” Riot asked, his voice no longer smiling. It was dark, almost menacing, but ridiculously sexy. My laughter died immediately.

  “No,” I answered.

  “Good. Now, look down at yourself and tell me what you see. Paint me a picture.”

  “Um, I’m still lying on my bed, just like in my text, but now I’m naked.” Surely, my naiveté when it came to being sexy over the phone should have turned him off, but his raspy voice continued, so I listened.

  “What do your breasts look like, Kalli? I’ve imagined them a thousand times. Tell me what they look like.”

  How does one go about describing one’s own breasts? My brow furrowed. “Riot, maybe this was a bad idea. I’m not very good—” I was cut off by his voice.

  “Just look at them and tell me about them. Please,” he said, softly. I was a sucker for his politeness, it seemed. So I took in a deep breath and then looked down at myself.

  “Well, they’re not small, but not too big. Just right, if you ask me.”

  “I agree,” he whispered. “What about your nipples? What color are they?”

  My heart stopped when he said ‘nipples.’ I swallowed hard and my eyes closed. “I don’t know, I guess they’re a pinkish-brown.”

  “Fuck, I bet they taste delicious.”

  Holy.

  Crap.

  My pulse was beating exclusively between my legs, thumping, pounding, aching. Without hesitation my hand found my breast, gently squeezing, relieving some of the pressure from my core. “Oh, God,” I moaned unintentionally.

  “Are you touching yourself now, Kal?”

  “Mm hmm,” I muttered.

  “Where? Tell me.”

  I was torn between being humiliated and being ridiculously turned on. I didn’t want to talk anymore; I didn’t want to say anything else. But I did want to listen to him. I wanted to do whatever he told me to, just to hear his reaction, so my libido won out.

  “My breast. I’m touching my breast.”

  “That’s fan-fucking-tastic,” he growled. “What does it feel like?”

  “It feels amazing. It’s soft and full. Warm too.” My fingers pinched my nipple and I moaned louder, biting my bottom lip to try and keep my sounds muffled. A current of electricity ran from my breast straight to my core, arching my back off the bed. My heels drew up, bending my knees, and my hips arched. “Ri,” I cried quietly, wishing so badly he was there.

  “I know, baby. Shh. Can you move your hand lower?”

  I didn’t even think about it, my hand just slid smoothly down the valley between my breasts, over my torso, past my belly button, and when I reached the edge of what little pubic hair I had, my breath caught.

  “Riot,” I quite nearly whined.

  “God, Kalli, my hand is on my dick and I so wish it were you. I’m so hard for you, but my hand isn’t what I want. My body wants you so bad.”

  His words urged me on and my fingers slid lower. When they smoothed over my clit, my lungs contracted, a sharp breath pulling in, and my legs jolted. All my nerves were on high alert, like a rubber band stretched too thin, waiting to snap.

  “Where is your hand, babe?” he groaned.

  “Inside me,” I whimpered as I slid two fingers all the way into my depth, gasping.

  “Are you wet?” he asked. And even if I hadn’t been, after hearing him ask, it would have been inevitable. His deep voice rolled over the words, like rough silk. Silk that had been torn and abused. It was so fucking sexy.

  “I’m so wet,” I moaned, quietly.

  “Shit, Kal. Fucking Christ. Imagine it’s me. I’m there, and my hand is inside you, pumping in and out. My mouth is on you. I’m kissing your stomach, moving up to your breasts. I can’t get enough of you. Are you with me?”

  “Yes. I can feel you touching me. It’s so good, Riot.” My hand found a rhythm, blissfully slow, and achingly shallow, just enough to tease. Then my fingers moved up to my clit, circling, then back down again. It was both incredible and yet entirely unfulfilling because I wanted it to be him.

  I slowed my own ministrations and listened to him on the other end of the phone. His breath was falling heavily, and every few seconds I heard him give a shallow grunt. I could also hear his hand working over his erection and the image I conjured up in my head made my body convulse with pleasure. My hand went back to work, sliding in and out of me, but I made sure to listen to Riot; I wanted to hear him when he came.

  “Are you thinking of me?” I asked him, my voice hardly a whisper.

  “God-fucking-yes I’m thinking of you,” he growled.

  We both got to a point where words weren’t necessary, all I needed was the sound of his breath, hot and ragged against my ear to bring me to the brink. My hand found a quicker, deeper pace, a rhythm and cadence that matched his breath, trying to sync to him however I could. It wasn’t until my slick fingers put that cadence and pressure on my clit that I found my release. I groaned loudly, back arching off the mattress, knees splayed wide, head thrown back as far as possible. It was an earth-shattering orgasm, lasting so long, I worried Riot would think I’d hung up as I’d dropped the phone mid-spasm.

  When I picked it up again I could hear he still hadn’t finished, and the sounds he was making nearly had me reaching south again.

  “Oh, fuck,” he growled. He took deep breaths in, held them, and then exhaled quickly. “Christ, Kal
li, I’m almost there.”

  I had no words to urge him on, couldn’t think of anything to say because my body was still in overdrive, still buzzing from my orgasm, even more aflame hearing him so close to coming. Finally, I heard a long groan and then silence, followed by heavy breaths. Eventually, after we’d both regained our senses, he finally spoke.

  “You there, babe?”

  “Yeah,” I said quietly, rolling from my back to my side, suddenly very conscious of my state of nakedness. I was very rarely naked unless I was showering. To lie naked on my bed wasn’t something I was accustomed to.

  “Are you all right?”

  “I think so, are you?”

  “Yeah,” he said softly, and I could imagine his hand running over the stubble of his jaw, making me smile. “Listen, Kalli, I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened like that. I took it too far.” He sighed loudly and my heart nearly stopped because, although unexpected, I didn’t regret what had happened. If anything, it just made me miss him more than I already did.

  “I’m not sorry,” I said, trying not to sound hurt, but failing. “You sounded like you enjoyed yourself. What’s there to be sorry about?”

  “I did enjoy myself, but Kalli, God, the first time you came for me I should have at least been there. I’d give anything to see you like that. I want to be the one to make you feel that way, and not over the phone.”

  “Oh,” I replied, a little shocked by his words.

  “Yeah, oh.” I heard rustling on his end and pictured him standing up from his bed, perhaps walking through his house. One of the few times we’d Skyped, he’d taken me on a virtual tour of his apartment in San Francisco. From what I could tell, it looked small and very much like a man lived there alone.

  “Kal?”

  “Yeah?”

  “When’s your next break between jobs?”

  “I leave tomorrow and I’m out of town for two weeks, but then I’ve got a few weeks with nothing lined up.”

  “Okay,” he sighed. “Can I come to Seattle to see you when you get back? I’m dying here, Kal. I thought it would be easier to be away from you, but it’s just getting more difficult.” He laughed a little. “I probably sound like a huge pussy, but I just want to see you. Like, I honestly just want to lay with you in my arms.”

  The tingles that floated through my body at his words caused a shiver to run along my spine. I had never spent the night with a man. I was more of the ‘pounce then bounce’ variety of woman. But the idea of spending a night wrapped in Riot’s strong arms brought about more emotions than I was capable of dealing with. Of course, there was Marcus to consider. I’d never slept with a man, and he’d never woken up to a man in his house.

  Regardless of the sleeping arrangements, my answer to his question was simple.

  “Yes,” I said, relief coursing through me at the thought of seeing him again. “Yes, please, come to Seattle. I would very much like to see you.”

  “You’d very much like to see me?” he asked, sounding a little wounded. “Babe, be prepared. I’d very much like to reenact what just happened between us, only next time we’ll use each other’s bodies. You all right with that?”

  I swallowed hard, arousal lodging in my throat. “Um, yeah,” I replied, meekly. I tried to push ideas of logistics out of my head, tried not to focus on the worry that sprung up, and tried to just let myself feel the excitement of knowing Riot would be in Seattle to see me in just two weeks.

  Chapter Eleven

  A Little Broken

  “Nancy, do you have everything you need?” I yelled from Marcus’ bedroom, trying to make sure I had everything in his bag from my mental list. Sometimes Nancy and Bob liked to take Marcus on trips with them, so I wasn’t unaccustomed to packing a bag for him, but it was hard to concentrate on the task at hand when I knew Riot’s plane was in the air, heading toward Seattle.

  It had been eight weeks since we’d seen each other. Eight long weeks. All of which I’d spent trying to contain the feelings that were growing. I kept trying to lid them tightly; keep them shoved down in that part of me to which I never let myself have true access.

  But I couldn’t deny the fact that my body was anxious to be near him. He’d made so many promises of what he would do to me when we finally were reunited, told me all the ways he wanted to use my body. So, naturally, it was all I could think about.

  “I think we’re ready to go, dear,” Nancy called from the living room, startling me from the Riot-induced haze I found myself in often. I zipped up Marcus’ bag and carried it to the door where he and Nancy were waiting.

  “All right, Marky. Your suit is in there, along with your toothbrush and toothpaste. Change of clothes, pajamas, and a towel.” I handed him his bag then pulled him into a hug. “Be good and listen to Nancy and Mr. Bob, all right?”

  Marcus rolled his eyes at me, but agreed nevertheless. “I’ll be good.”

  “See you in a few days, then.”

  “Don’t worry about a thing, Kalli. He’ll be just fine. Enjoy your weekend,” Nancy said, and I didn’t miss the wink she threw at me before she closed the door behind her.

  I let out a nervous breath, grabbed my own bag, and then left, heading for the airport.

  My Range Rover was parked at the arrivals turn-about and I was trying to wait patiently for Riot to come from the direction of the giant revolving doors.

  I was a mess of nerves. I was taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down, but the butterflies in my stomach and the constant roller coaster I seemed to be riding kept me from achieving any kind of peace.

  Then, when my eyes finally found him, everything that had been going haywire in my body halted, and I was just left smiling and bouncing lightly on the balls of my feet.

  He looked like the epitome of a bad boy walking through the airport doors. He was all tight white shirt, blue jeans, combat boots only half-way laced up, and aviators. My entire body tightened at just the sight of him. But then his eyes found me, he smiled, and I melted.

  He was carrying some sort of rucksack over his shoulder, the t-shirt deliciously tight over his biceps, and his smile was just for me.

  I tried not to look like a giddy fool as he neared me, but I could not contain the happiness which was radiating from me.

  When he made it to me, he dropped his bag on the concrete next to his feet, and then there was no distance between us, no space at all. He pulled me to him with his big hands on the sides of my face, but I definitely went willingly.

  And then his mouth was on mine. There was no hello, there was no awkward I-haven’t-seen-you-in-two-months hug; it was the kiss to end all kisses. His hands went directly into my hair, then slid down my back as his tongue begged for entrance into my mouth.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him in—in every way I possibly could. It was impossible to keep him out, and what’s more, I didn’t want to.

  When he pulled away he was smiling.

  “Hey,” he said, out of breath, voice ragged.

  “Hi.”

  “I’m really fucking glad to see you.”

  “I gathered that.” I giggled as he kissed me again. His arms came around my waist and he picked me up off my feet, bringing our faces level, kissing me again. When he put me back down he didn’t let go right away, but moved his face into the crook of my neck and just held me. “I’m glad to see you too,” I whispered into his shoulder.

  When we finally managed to pull away from each other, he bent down to grab his bag and I led him to the back of the Rover, opening the trunk.

  “So, I have some plans for us, if you’re cool with not staying in Seattle.” I gave him a hesitant smile, hoping he didn’t have his heart set on sticking around Washington.

  “I couldn’t care less where we are, Kal. I just want to spend some time with you.”

  I let out a sigh, still trying to acclimate to having him right in front of me. “Okay, well, my best friend decided to elope, so she’s out of town with her new husband. But his
mom called and said there was something up at their house at the beach. Something about the alarm panel battery being low, so the company keeps calling her about it. But she has no idea how to change it, so Ella asked if we could go down to the beach house and fix it.” I gave him a hopeful smile, and pushed up on my tiptoes to give him my best eyelash bat. “We get to stay at their beach house for the weekend,” I added, hoping it would seal the deal.

  “Kalli, really, I don’t care where we are. Sounds fun.”

  “Okay, but it’s, like, a five hour drive.”

  “Kalli, get in the car. We’re going,” he said with a laugh, which caused me to laugh.

  I made it to the freeway and once we were on the straightaway he reached over, took my hand, and pulled it to his lap, lacing our fingers together.

  “Are Marcus and Nancy meeting us there?”

  “Um, no,” I said, trying not to sound nervous. “Actually, Nancy and Mr. Bob took Marcus to the water park for the weekend. So, it’ll be just us.”

  “Ah ha,” he said, catching on.

  “I’m sorry, is it too soon? I mean, people don’t usually go away together for a weekend on their third date. We can go back if you want, or I can go by myself. I totally understand if you want to back out.” I was rambling because I was nervous, and words were spilling out of my mouth so fast I couldn’t have stopped them if I tried. Riot’s hand reached up and cupped the back of my neck, gently massaging me there.

  “I want to spend the weekend with you, and as much as I like Marcus, I’m actually really glad he won’t be there.”

  “Yeah?” I asked, turning to look at him, trying to keep the blush on my face from overheating me.

  “Yeah,” he said, leaning toward me to place a kiss on my temple.

  And the butterflies were back.

  He wanted to be alone with me.

  Why did Riot Bentley make me feel like a nervous teenage girl? Why did he cause all the tingles and nerves I’d always associated with inexperienced women? I’d had my fair share of men—hot men at that. Actors and rock stars. I’d slept with some men who went on to be very big deals.

  “Okay,” I said, trying to smile and not seem like the bumbling fool I felt like. “So, how was your flight?”