Big Sexy Bear
Page 13
Well, the war had made him a monster. Too grotesque to love her.
But well equipped to protect her.
“Come sit down and tell me what’s happening,” he said, shutting the front door behind them and leading the way into the darkness.
* * *
Cassie felt herself tremble as she followed John into the cold, silent house. He flicked on a light that lit the living room and gestured for her to take a seat on a couch across from him as he sank into a plush chair.
As always, she felt her body respond to his lean beauty. The scars from the war only gave him an even more dangerous appeal, suggesting a man who’d literally emerged from hell and lived to tell the tale.
She supposed it was appropriate he’d come back from the army with the name Hades.
The ruler of the underworld.
Scars or not, there was a time when she would have followed him anywhere. The tall, handsome bad boy and then her high school sweetheart. His kisses had lit up the darkness in her heart, given her lonely world meaning. For years, just the hope of being with him when he got out of the army had sustained her as she toiled in the small town to pay her parents’ medical bills.
Her mom had died when she was young, and her father passed while Hades was gone. She was alone in the world now, which only made it more poignant that Hades had abandoned her.
Well, not totally. It was clear from time to time that he wanted something from her, but she didn’t know what, and after the way he’d treated her, she didn’t want it anyway.
Even if she had once wanted him more than she wanted air.
She bit her lip as his hot-as-hell, smoky-gray eyes studied her from underneath long, curled lashes. His tanned skin made his light eyes that much more striking. His straight nose, high cheekbones, and rugged jaw all gave him a fallen angel appeal. Combined with that dark, roguish hair that liked to curl around his face and the horizontal scars brushing the right side, he was a completely devastating package.
And he seemed to know it, tolerating her perusal with a cold, unaffected stare. Of course he knew he was beautiful. He always had been.
His long legs were splayed in front of him. His powerful arms flexed as he folded them and studied her right back. She felt a chill run over her back as she submitted to his gaze.
It was all so terribly awkward. But she was in his house and asking for his help, so she’d try to endure it.
But oh, what that body still did to her. Just the thought of pulling his shirt off, seeing the powerful muscles he’d developed in his years of fighting with the most elite men in the nation. Once, she’d been proud to call him hers.
Now she couldn’t, but she was proud all the same.
“What did you come for?” he asked harshly, in a cool tone. “I believe you made it quite clear you were done with me the last time we spoke.”
“That hasn’t stopped you from stalking me in town,” she snapped, patience drawn tight by the situation.
A small smile quirked one corner of his lips. “I go where I want. If you happen to be there…”
She folded her arms and pursed her lips. “Well, if you just so happen to walk up to the bakery, stare, and never go in, I guess that’s your business.”
“It is my business,” he said, his face going impassive and cold once again. “As I said, I’ll go where I like. But back to the subject. Why are you here?”
She fidgeted. She knew how it must look. Ignoring him and then coming to him the minute she needed help. But truly, there was no one else she could ask. Not with something this serious. This dangerous.
“Hades…”
“John,” he said. “You always called me John.” There was a twinkle of something in his eyes, a vague flash of the affection she remembered between them, but then it was gone. “Hades is my army name. I want you to call me John.”
“John,” she said, testing the word uncomfortably on her lips. It was easier to call him Hades, at least in her mind. It separated out the cold man who’d hurt her from the man she’d loved most of her adult life. But that man didn’t come back from the war. That man must have died in the fire, sending this beautiful, cold devil back to taunt her by looking so much like the John she once loved.
The man she’d known would never have betrayed her like Hades did.
But she wasn’t here to talk about that. That was history, and they couldn’t go back to the way things were. She couldn’t go back and make him open the door, or keep that other woman out of his life.
No, she just had to press on. “John,” she said quietly. “There’s someone after me.”
His eyes were cool as he studied her, waiting for her to go on. When he was a teenager, he would have reacted with fury, clenching his fists and ready to threaten anything in sight. Now he was calculated. If he was even affected by what she told him, she could only barely make it out in the slight tightness of his mouth, a little tick of a muscle right at his temple at the side of his eyebrow.
“And what do you want me to do about it?” he asked.
Her heart dropped, her palms going cold. Perhaps he really had stopped caring about her. A part of her regretted everything that had happened between them. But she couldn’t just be a doormat; she couldn’t just pretend not to have seen what she’d seen.
“I thought maybe…”
He stood abruptly, tilting his head as his smoke-gray eyes blazed down at her. “You thought you’d come use me? Thought I’d make a good bodyguard if not a good lover?”
She felt a flush move over her cheeks. “It’s more that I thought you’d still care as a friend, even if not as more.”
He scoffed but went silent, walking to the entryway where he could pace in the dark. He seemed comfortable there, even if Cassie wanted to run around turning on all the lights to brighten the place. He didn’t deserve to be here like this.
This place was too cold. Even with the heat up to ninety, it would feel frigid in here.
She waited for his answer. Underneath the hard exterior, she was sure the man she’d known was still there, and he wouldn’t turn his back on anyone in need of protection.
She’d hurt him; she knew that. But he’d hurt her too.
He continued to think, walking over to the kitchen to pull out a stool with a loud scraping sound and plopping his large body atop it.
Each second, each minute he considered it seemed to kill her.
It reminded her of those months when she’d stood on his porch, waiting for him to open the door. Heart full of foolish hope that everything could go back to the way it was. That all his promises of being together when he was done could really be fulfilled. Even though she knew he was successful, a hero, strong, and she was just that little baker from a small town in the middle of nowhere.
He never came to the door, and she’d grown colder each time she was forced to walk away unanswered.
But that wasn’t the last straw. Not even close.
Her jaw tightened at the memory of it. At least until then, she’d been able to tell herself he just wanted to be alone, that he was still recovering and probably nervous about seeing anyone. Maybe waiting for the scars to heal.
But no, that wasn’t the case. She’d pulled up and been about to park when she saw a beautiful, tall woman walk right in the front door. And that woman’s car had stayed there for weeks.
Damn it all. The memory was so painful that she got to her feet, ready to leave. This was a mistake. What was she thinking coming here anyway? He didn’t care about her anymore. He’d made that clear when he locked her out and let in another woman instead.
Although, after that woman had left, he showed up at her bakery, bold as brass, expecting her to crawl back like nothing happened.
Like she hadn’t cried over him for weeks. Like she hadn’t deserved so much more. So she’d rightfully told him she wanted nothing to do with him, as much as it felt like it cracked her in half to do so.
And the cold, expectant look he’d given her after that just conf
irmed what she already knew. He didn’t care about her anymore.
Just like he was calm now, even after learning she was in danger.
Her heart cracked at the thought of it, and she rushed for the door. She’d find another answer. Go to the police or something. Stay with a friend. This had all been stupid…
She was only halfway across the tile when a hard, steely hand gently caught her arm, stopping her. She looked up into gray eyes, smoldering in the semi-darkness.
“Where are you going?” he asked in a low voice that made tendrils of lust curl around her belly. She’d always loved that voice.
“Home,” she said. “It was stupid to come here. I don’t know what I was—”
To her surprise, he jerked her forward and caught her in his arms, crushing her against him. His lips came down on hers, and his tongue tasted faintly of smoke as it explored. His scent was of forest, of wilderness, of gunfire and frost. And home.
Her body melted against his even as she struggled to fight her own response to him. His tongue swept through her mouth, heating her blood to boiling with the memory of everything they’d shared.
He pulled back and pinned her with cold heat in his glare. “You’re mine,” he said, running his tongue along his full lower lip. “You came back to me, and you’re mine.”
Her jaw dropped. “No,” she said, pushing away. “No, I’m not yours. I just… This was a bad idea.” She made for the door again, but he strode in front of it, easily blocking her.
He folded his arms again, and the effect it had on his hulking shoulders and biceps made it hard to breathe, like the air in the room was thickening.
“Let me go,” she said, trying to go around him.
He shook his head.
She let out an exasperated sigh. “This doesn’t change anything. I didn’t come back here because I wanted to be with you. I just thought someone with your… skills would be useful.”
He clicked his tongue and tilted his head, dark hair swaying. “Oh, definitely useful.”
“But I should have known this would be awkward, and this was a mistake… I’ll ask someone else.”
That put darkness in his expression, and Cassie froze as she saw his features tighten. “Who?” he asked, taking a step forward. “Who would you ask, Cassie? One of your pretty town boys?”
She scoffed at the ridiculousness of it. She’d never turned him down for anyone else, though heaven knew there were men interested. John had always been the only one for her. And only him taking what they had so lightly, acting like it meant nothing, was able to make her move on.
“What happened, Cass?” he asked, using her old pet name, making her knees tremble. It was all too familiar, reminiscent of better times, romantic times. Times they’d been in love and sure the world couldn’t stop them.
But the world had.
“I don’t know,” she answered sadly. “Life happened.”
He slammed his hand into the door, anger overtaking him. “That’s not good enough,” he said. “It’s not good enough for either of us and we both know it. But fine. We aren’t getting back together. I accepted that, and I know you have.”
She nodded silently, tension gripping her.
“But I’ll be damned if I let anyone else protect you,” he said hoarsely. “That’s my job, always was.”
She nodded again, stunned by the force of sentiment in his words.
He took a step forward and then another. She could sense the history of their kiss lingering in the air, tempting her toward more. He closed the distance between them, thrilling her with that combination of cool danger and ardent passion that made her weak in the knees. He reached for her chin and tilted it up so she was forced to look into his eyes.
“But you look out, Cassie Peterson. Because I still want you. I accepted your decision, but I haven’t given up. I may be trapped in hell, but you’ve just come down to find me. And I’m not letting you go without a fight.”
She swallowed, frozen by his gaze, his possessive words. She could almost buy into it. Almost think everything could go back to how it was. Then the image of the other woman crossed her mind, and she slapped his hand away and stepped back. “Don’t touch me.”
He smirked and cocked his head to one side. “But you like it.”
“Be that as it may,” she said shakily, “don’t do this to me. Not again. I’m not going to fall in love with you again.” She’d never fallen out of love with him. That was why it all still hurt so much. But that was a minor technicality.
He raised a dark eyebrow, looking cool as ice. “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess we’ll see.” He leaned in, mocking her with a cold smile. “It can get awfully hot in hell sometimes.”
Then he laughed, an icy, dark sound that echoed as he opened the door and walked out to her car, his tall shape evident even in the darkness.
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