Damaged But Not Broken

by Hearts Collective

  I see Blake wrestling with his emotions, and he almost looks as if he’s in anguish. I can tell he’s fighting his desire for me and the need to protect me. I hope his desire wins out. It can’t end like this tonight.

  “Oh Paige,” he groans, and he pulls me towards him, pushing me back down on the bed, kissing me eagerly.

  I kiss him back just as hungrily, feeling him harden against my thigh. I smile, reaching down between our bodies and taking him in my hand.

  “Oh,” he chokes out when I touch him, and I feel him harden more in my palm. He’s thick and warm, just like I remember.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks in a rough voice.

  “Yes,” I flounder, “Except, I’m not on the pill.” I admit.

  I’m such a novice and not prepared for this at all. I’m an idiot.

  “It’s okay,” he pants, and then he gives me a sheepish look. “I’m prepared. I had hoped this might happen.” He stops. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  “No!” I gasp, glad he had hoped for this. Otherwise, we might have to truly stop.

  He hops off the bed, rifles in his pants and pulls out a small foil. He tears it open, his eyes raw and smoldering, and slides it down his length. I lay on my back, completely still.

  “You’re sure?” he asks again.

  I nod, because I’m too afraid to speak. Honestly, I’m terrified, but I want this. I want Blake and I connected this way again. I want to be a part of him.

  Blake settles between my legs and I feel him rub against my inner thigh. He holds himself at the shaft, and slowly guides himself into me.

  “Oh!” I moan as he first enters me. I tense up, but quickly relax, focusing only on Blake, and remembering how we have done this before. He ever so gently pushes into me, watching my face carefully for my reaction. He fills me entirely and I can’t help but cry out in pain. I’m so tight and it has been so, so long. But as I look into his eyes the pain quickly subsides.

  “Mmm, you’re so wet,” he groans, sliding deeper inside me.

  I feel myself stretching to accommodate him, I continue to relax and enjoy the sensation and soon he’s deep and snug inside me.

  “Paige,” he groans, circling his hips to help me accommodate him.

  Once I’m over the initial fear and shock of having someone inside me again, I slowly begin to notice the pleasure.

  Blake begins to thrust in and out of me slowly, and a small moan escapes my lips. I begin to lose myself in the act, running my hands along Blake’s muscular shoulders and knotting my hands in his hair.

  Blake is a careful lover, obviously aware of my hesitation, but he begins to lose control, which is incredibly sexy. He begins to thrust harder and faster, and he wraps his arms under my thighs and hoists them over my shoulders.

  I gasp in surprise, and then gasp again when I realize how deep he can enter me at this angle. I feel myself getting wetter by the second as he presses against an unfamiliar spot deep inside me.

  “Oh my god,” I pant, losing my mind at he drives into me deeper and deeper. The friction is incredible, and I can feel another orgasm building within me. At the same moment, Blake gasps, “I can’t last much longer.”

  Before I can respond, I explode, pulsing and bucking around Blake's cock, as my pussy clenches again and again with wave after wave of pleasure. This time is more intense than the last, and I’m lost in the bliss. Blake lets out a deep, guttural sound, and drives into me hard, calling out my name before I feel him pulse and throb within me.

  We collapse together in a heap, each of us spent and clutching the other. We lay like that for a long time, listening to the other person breathe and watching as our chests finally move more slowly.

  I feel like I’ve had an out of body experience, and I know that Blake and I are now closer than ever. I can’t imagine how I ever went this long without him, and I can’t even remember why I ever pushed him away in the first place. It’s so obvious now that it should have always been Blake and I.

  Blake finally sits up, pulling me up with him.

  “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to come back, Paige.”

  I giggle and push at his chest. “You were engaged. You weren’t waiting for me to come back.”

  “I didn’t know that I was waiting, but now I realize I was,” he explains. He starts to move and reach for his clothes.

  “Where are you going?” I ask.

  “Back to my room,” he says, confused. “I figure you might want some space.”

  “I want you to stay,” I admit. He drops his pants and falls back into bed.

  “Of course,” he agrees, kissing my forehead.

  I reach over and flip off the light, and we settle in against the pillows.

  EIGHTEEN

  Paige

  Ruffled Sheets

  Nine hours later, though not much of that time was spent sleeping, I finally drag myself out of bed. Blake has already showered and dressed in fresh clothes.

  “You left!” I pout, realizing he must have returned to his room for his outfit.

  “You were out cold,” he reminds me, “The guys gave me a bunch of shit,” he mutters.

  I smile sleepily at him. It’s then that I notice the breakfast spread on the small table.

  “Yum,” I exclaim, crawling out of bed. I realize I’m naked, and I search the floor for my pajamas from last night. Blake makes no moves to look away.

  “Enjoying the view?” I ask, as I shimmy into my shorts and camisole.

  “Very much so.”

  I sit down and begin to dig into the bagels and cream cheese, along with the fresh fruit.

  “Mmm, I’m famished,” I exclaim. “Aren’t you going to eat?” I ask Blake, realizing he hasn’t touched the food.

  “I’ve been up for a while,” he admits, “I already ate something. I’m sorry. I was starving, too.”

  “S’okay,” I mumble, my mouth full.

  I finish chewing and swallow, and then take a big gulp of orange juice. Wow, who knew sex made you so hungry?

  I notice Blake’s pensive expression. “Is everything okay?” I ask.

  He nods, closely watching me. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

  I smile at his sweetness. “I’m not okay,” I say and I see Blake’s face fall. “I’m great. Better than great. Amazing. This is the best I’ve ever felt.”

  Blake grins his boyish grin that I love.

  He sits down next to me and digs into a bagel. “I think I can eat again,” he says happily.

  I laugh and we lose ourselves in our happy breakfast. I happen to glance at my phone and realize we need to be down in the lobby in a half hour.

  “Crap! I need to get ready!” I bolt up from the table and hurry to the shower. “Stay away,” I warn, knowing that nothing good could come from Blake and I in the shower with so little time to get ready.

  I quickly wash my hair and shave. I’m ready in record time and Blake raises his eyebrows at me, clearly impressed.

  “Are you packed, too?” I ask incredulously.

  He nods sheepishly. “It only took me five minutes.”

  I throw all my toiletries back in their bag, and toss my clothes in one of my bags. I’m ready to go and I take one last swig of orange juice.

  “Ready?” Blake asks.

  I nod, and he grabs my suitcases.

  “No! I can do it,” I protest.

  “I want to carry them,” he insists, so I smile and let him.

  It’s a nice feeling to have Blake want to take care of me. We walk out in the hallway and see Ben waiting at the elevator with his bags.

  He smirks at us. “Hey guys.”

  We ride down the elevator in awkward silence, and I’m relieved when the doors slide open. Clearly, Blake’s band mates are well aware of what happened last night. Or at least they assume what has happened. I’m sure Blake didn’t share any details.

  We walk out of the lobby and see our van pulled up alongside the curb. Elvis and Jac
k are filling the back with our stuff, and Ryan comes hurrying up from another side of the hotel.

  “I checked all around and can’t find him,” he says, dusting off his pants.

  “Who? Liam?” I ask.

  “No, your dad.”

  “Huh?” That’s not like my dad. “I’ll call him,” I say, pulling out my cell phone. “I’m sure he lost track of time.”

  I dial the number but it goes directly to voicemail. “That’s strange. It went right to voicemail.”

  “Phone could be dead,” Blake suggests.

  I nod and try once more, but it goes right to voicemail again.

  Liam comes hurrying up. “I knocked on his room door, but he didn’t answer. The front desk said he checked out already.”

  “Well, he has to be around somewhere,” I say, exasperated. I hurry into the hotel lobby with Blake on my heels.

  “I’m sure he’s around,” Blake says.

  “I’m sure he is, too. I just feel bad that everyone is looking for him.” We quickly spin through the small hotel lobby twice, and check the tiny restaurant within the hotel.

  “Maybe he went somewhere?” I ask, unsure of where my father could have been. He could have easily walked to one of the nearby shops or restaurants.

  “That would be my bet,” Blake says, grabbing my hand.

  We head back towards the lobby, and there is my dad, standing by the van, looking slightly disheveled.

  “Daddy! Where the heck were you? You had everyone looking for you.”

  “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, looking down at the ground. “I went in search of a good cup of coffee.”

  I notice that he’s holding a Starbucks cup.

  “But there’s coffee at the hotel,” Liam points out.

  My dad makes a face and waves his hand.

  “I needed the strong stuff. The good stuff.”

  He takes another sip of his Starbucks and shrugs.

  Everyone lets it go, and we climb into the van.

  My dad launches into how great we all did last night, and how everyone is looking forward to hearing us in Little Rock. He actually wants us to stop and cut a few tracks after Little Rock, and one of his buddies is going to whip up a few CDs of our music so we can sell them after the shows. Then, once we’re back in Nashville, we can make separate CDs if the demand is high enough.

  Which he thinks it will be.

  My dad is jabbering away like crazy and I look over at Blake to see if I’m the only one who notices. He seems to notice too, but just shrugs and smiles. Something seems off, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

  I don’t think about it too much because I’m too high on Cloud Nine from my night with Blake. I chalk up my dad’s behavior to his excitement over the tour, and my mind drifts back to Blake. I think about the way Blake made me feel, and how amazing it was to be connected to him again on such an intimate level.

  After my dad stops talking, the ride is a quiet one and I think most of us are adjusting to being on tour. Except, Blake and I probably have some other things on our minds besides the tour. I’m exhausted from not sleeping much, and I rest my head on Blake’s shoulder.

  Before I know it, he’s gently waking me.

  “Paige, we’re here.”

  I blink and look out the window. Sure enough, we’re pulling up outside a restaurant.

  “Can’t check in for another hour,” Liam explains, turning back towards me, “And everyone needs to eat anyway.”

  The rest of the afternoon is a blur, filled with delicious barbeque, laughter and holding hands under the table with Blake. When we check into the hotel, I’m pleasantly surprised to learn that there is an in-house masseuse, and I decide to splurge on a massage in my room once I’ve finished unpacking.

  After my massage I’m busy prepping and primping, dolling myself up to go on stage. But through all the lipstick applications, and hair fixing, all I can think about is Blake, and having him back in my bed tonight. I hope I can focus enough to put on a good show, and when we’re all piled in the van again, on the way to the venue, I literally feel like my skin is on fire just by sitting next to Blake.

  He seems to be feeling the same way too, from the way his eyes are boring into mine.

  Just as we’re getting out of the van, and before we’re swept away in the pre-show commotion, Blake grabs my hand and pulls me aside.

  “Do you want me to come to you room again tonight?’’ he asks quietly, not quite hiding the desire in his voice.

  “Yes, please,” I whisper, feeling a thrill of excitement.

  I could easily get used to this.

  NINETEEN

  Blake

  Sleeping Over?

  I’m thrilled that Paige said I can come back to her room again tonight. The night before was so amazing, and I know things are only going to get better. I know Paige was scared, and I was so impressed by her courage. It rocked me to my core that she allowed me to be the first person to be with her since that awful night so many years ago.

  The band and I, plus Paige, kicked ass at our Little Rock show, and we all piled into the van to head back to the hotel. Ben and Ryan were still beat after their night of partying the night before, and Paige and I were anxious to pick up where we left off.

  This time we were staying on separate floors, and I wink at Paige as she gets off on her floor. I head up to our floor with the guys, and once we’re inside the room, Ryan snickers.

  “Alright¸ lover boy. We know you’re not staying here tonight. Go on and get your things.”

  “Screw you,” I laugh. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll get my stuff in the morning before we check out.”

  “Before you know it, you’re just going to be parking it in Paige’s room,” Ben observes, giving Ryan a high five.

  “Whatever,” I mutter, but I’m not actually bothered by their comments. In fact, that’s a great idea on Ben’s part. It’s a little soon for that, but I would love nothing more than to room with Paige while on tour. But for now, I think it’s good that we still have our own spaces. It’s only been one day, and I know Paige is dealing with a lot.

  I change out of my sweaty clothes and rinse off. I put on an old pair of jeans and t-shirt, hoping that these clothes won’t stay on for long. Ben and Ryan have the TV on and have set up a make shift bar in the room with mini Jack Daniels and some cans of Coke.

  “Have fun!” Ben calls.

  Ryan shakes his head. “I’m jealous, bro.”

  Just before I head out the door, I grab my guitar on a whim. It might be fun to play some music with Paige.

  That is, if we get around to it tonight. I’m hoping to spend most of the night tangled up in her sheets.

  I jump back on the elevator and head down to her room. I barely get a chance to knock before she throws the door open and gives me a big hug.

  “I missed you!” She hollers.

  “I just saw you twenty minutes ago,” I remind her.

  “Too long!”

  I notice she’s showered too, and her hair is wet down her back. She’s dressed in a dark pink silk nightie, which isn’t too revealing, but just revealing enough to drive me wild.

  “You brought your guitar,” she says with surprise as I walk in.

  “Yeah, I thought of it at the last second. I thought, maybe, we could play some music together,” I feel like an idiot, “only if you wanted to, of course.”

  Her face lights up. “That sounds like a great idea! I would love to.” She frowns for a second. “But, actually, I’m really hungry. Do you mind if we order some food first?”

  My stomach growls at the mention of food and I realize that I haven’t eaten since lunch.

  “Yeah, that’s a great idea. I’m starving myself.”

  We call out for a pizza and some salad, and talk about the tour as we wait for the food.

  “Did you think my dad was being weird this morning?” she asks, brushing her damp hair with her fingers. She looks so damn sexy sitting on her bed, with her
long, lean legs stretched out beneath her. It takes everything in me not to jump her bones right away.

  I shrug. Kenny had been acting a little strange, but this was new to all of us, and I know he was psyched for the tour.

  “I think he has a lot going on, and I think he’s excited about the tour. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

  She’s pensive for a moment. “I know. It just struck me as really bizarre.” She lets it go, and we talk about going into the studio tomorrow outside of Dallas.

  We have to leave pretty early in the morning so we can get to Dallas and have a few hours in the studio. It will be a pretty hectic day. We have to play in Houston the day after next, and then we have a day off which will be nice.

  The food arrives, and we dig in, not talking much while we eat. Once we’re finished eating, Paige grabs her guitar and comes back to the bed.

  “Want to play a bit?” she asks shyly.

  “Would love it.”

  I grab my guitar and we both start strumming some chords together. Paige closes her eyes and hums along, and I watch her, completely smitten again for this girl who I loved so many years ago.

  “I got it!” she exclaims, opening her eyes and smiling. “Let’s play ‘Need You Now’ by Lady Antebellum. Do you know it?”

  “Yes. That’s a great song,” I murmur, starting the opening chords. Paige picks up with my playing and she starts the haunting opening verse. I chime in and soon we’re singing together on the chorus. It’s hard to explain, but something is happening between us. I can hear the way our voices blend, and I know we’re on to something special.

  Paige seems to feel it too, and we’re singing and playing together, lost in each other. We finish the song, and Paige puts her guitar down gently, her eyes never leaving mine.

  “Wow,” she whispers.

  “Wow,” I agree.

  It was as if we were made to play music together. Maybe it was the song, or maybe it was our attraction, but suddenly everything is heightened. I place my guitar down, and then all the sudden we’re a tangle of limbs, my mouth desperately seeking Paige’s lips.

  She moans softly when I kiss her, entwining her hands around my neck. I can feel the urgency in her body, her need for me, and I stiffen in my pants thinking about being inside her again.