Not anymore, though. Never again.
Nathan had changed all that. He’d awoken her to reality. He’d made her see things as they really were and stopped her from fantasizing.
Actually, she had to wonder how a person with her background could’ve gotten herself into such a position in the first place. She should’ve been street-smart at least. Her childhood had not been exactly a dream. It was far from it.
Perhaps she’d subconsciously trained herself to blank out reality and live in a fantasy world full-time. That seemed rather likely from this new perspective of hers.
In fact, the whole disastrous affair with a deadly drug runner that had left her pregnant and destitute in Cold Plains had been just another kind of escape. She could see that now.
Nathan had given her the means to think more clearly. She loved him for that and for so many other reasons.
A single tear leaked from the side of her eye, but she ignored it. She was deeply and fully in love with a man for the first time in her life. But what did love mean? At no time in her background could she think of knowing a single couple who’d been truly in love.
People used each other, for comfort, for protection, for money, for stability, for power and for sex. But what was real love all about?
Digging deeper, and actually dredging up some of Samuel’s seminars about family, it came to her. Being really in love meant you cared more about the other person’s welfare than you did about yourself.
Did she? Is that the point she’d arrived at with Nathan?
An image of him standing in the sunlight with his clear blue eyes gleaming brightly and his light brown hair ruffled by the wind entered her mind. What would she give up for him?
Nearly everything, she supposed—everything but Melody.
Wasn’t that an amazing fact? They hadn’t even made love yet, and here she was truly in love. So what could she do to make him happy? Besides disappear? She’d already decided to take steps to that end.
What else?
Burrowing deeper into her sheets and relaxing, she tried to think about what would please Nathan the most. What did he want?
An image of Samuel came to mind, and she realized getting rid of the Devotees would go a long way toward pleasing Nathan. Yes, that would be a wonderful present. But she didn’t have a clue how to go about doing that. The policeman who’d come to the ranch said he was investigating, but he knew how to do that sort of thing.
Darn that Samuel. He’d made a sorry mess out of so many lives.
A picture of his face, looking benevolently down at her with those vivid green eyes, reminded her of how stupid she’d been to believe his lies. Thank heaven for Nathan.
Another picture swirled in her head, dreamlike. Blue eyes, gazing at her with such intensity, she felt prickly all over. They were Nathan’s eyes.
“I want you, Susannah.” It was Nathan’s voice, rough and intense.
“And I want you. Touch me. Please.”
Warm lips gently pressed against hers, the heat from them traveling straight to her core. Next, his warm hands rubbed her achy breasts, stirring her beyond reason.
From out of the fog, someone moaned. Had that sound been her?
Suddenly a wet mouth went to her nipple, so tender, so much pleasure. He sucked a hardened peak into his mouth, nipped at it, only to lick and soothe her once more. How had he known that was exactly what she’d needed?
Susannah wanted to touch him in return, but something was holding back her hands. She squirmed, ready to force herself out of the haze and take what she needed.
But she couldn’t… “Please,” she begged.
Rolling and kicking out, she blinked open her eyes to find herself in the low night-light of a darkened room. She discovered she was alone in the bed and tangled in the sheets. Panting and needier than she’d ever been, she turned to the clock and realized a half hour had gone by. She’d been asleep…dreaming.
Darn it. She’d been so sure that episode with Nathan had been real and that the sensual looks she’d sometimes see in Nathan’s eyes had led him to do what he’d really wanted.
What Nathan really wanted.
She’d been trying to find a way to make him happy. Should she take the initiative and make them both happy?
Why not?
Sliding quietly out of bed, she tiptoed to the baby’s crib and checked on her child. She was sleeping soundly. Judging by the past couple of nights, Melody should sleep for at least three more hours before she needed another feeding.
This might be the last night for Susannah to try convincing Nathan they would be great together. And the only thing to lose could be a little of her pride if he kicked her out of his bed.
She eased open the bedroom door, and leaving it cracked so she could hear the baby, she crept across the hall to the guest room. Had he locked the door?
Trying it, she was pleased to find it open. The door swung inward without the hinges making a sound.
So far so good.
She held her breath and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darker room. Listening intently for any sound, she was thrilled to hear Nathan softly snoring.
Ten steps into the room and she was at the side of the queen-size bed. Did she really have the guts to go through with this?
It might be the worst idea she’d ever had—or it could be heaven. She would never know unless she tried.
It was now or never.
CHAPTER 8
Someone was in his room.
Groggy, Nathan forced his mind to focus. What the hell? His muscles went taut as he geared up to reach for his gun in the nightstand drawer.
The next thing he knew, the mattress shifted with the weight of someone climbing in beside him. Tensing, ready for a struggle to the death, he waited for the first blow.
But before anything else happened, he got a whiff of raspberry shampoo. Huh? He would recognize that scent anywhere. He’d smelled the same fragrance in every room of the house. He’d scented it on the wind in the pasture. It haunted his dreams.
Rolling to his side, he was astonished to find her reaching out for him. “Susannah.”
“Please don’t send me away. Not tonight. Just for tonight.”
For all of ten seconds, he told himself that’s exactly what he should do: send her back to her bed. Yeah, right…not a chance.
A sliver of moonlight crept into the room, giving him just enough light to make out her features in the shadows. The thin straps of her nightgown were visible against her pale skin. Swamping waves of longing washed over him as he gazed at her. He couldn’t speak.
This was all wrong. Tomorrow he would begin the process of finding somewhere safe where he could send her to be out of the danger, out of his life.
But try explaining that to his body tonight. His mouth went dry. For endless moments, he gazed back at her. Her long, lush hair lay suggestively against her shoulders. Her limpid hazel eyes were deep pools of desire.
There must be some way he could stop things, some way to man up and do the right thing.
But nothing he did worked to put a stop to his burning desire. Next he tried telling himself she was a new mother and too tender to touch. That made sense. He wouldn’t want to hurt her. But his rebellious fingers paid no attention, reaching over to stroke the contours of her face—he let them linger on her full lips.
Sensing the warm glow of her need under his fingertips, he outlined her mouth slowly. Not willing to let her go, he brushed her soft lower lip with his thumb.
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. His eyes dropped to her breasts, heaving as if she’d just run a mile. He didn’t need to see her naked to know the body under the thin material was lush and warm. Even in pitch darkness he would’ve remembered the
smooth perfection of her skin and the generous curves so easy to spot under her clothes.
To hell with what happened tomorrow. He no longer cared about anything but the here and now.
Whipping away the covers, he flipped on his back and slipped out of his boxers. He needed to hold her in his arms, to feel something good and giving next to him instead of the excruciating loneliness of his bed since the divorce.
Turning, he held out his arms to her and she slid closer, making soft murmurs of contentment in her throat as she snuggled into his embrace. She fit as though the two of them had been doing this for years, as though she belonged beside him for good.
Easy, he thought when he caught her tender sighs and unquestioning trust with a passion-filled kiss. Easy does it, he reiterated as his hand closed over one breast.
Finding himself too clumsy for such a gentle touch, he bent his head and tasted her tip through the silken material of her gown. It was just a lick, only a taste and none of the things he would’ve liked to do to drive her wild.
Yet she seemed to go wild with any amount of pressure.
“I need you,” she whispered.
She needed him? Holy hell. He was the one in deep need here. Everything about her sharpened his hunger to an excruciating ache.
Groaning, he held back, afraid to make a wrong move.
She shifted, and her warm mouth opened against his neck. Trailing slow, hot kisses down his throat, she took as much as she gave.
He felt her consuming him, taking her time and tasting inch by inch. He was powerless to reciprocate, afraid to move or even breathe. Desperation roared through his body.
When her lips brushed across his nipple, he sucked in a breath. When her tongue made liquid fire rings around his navel, he murmured her name on a ragged breath.
“I want you,” she proclaimed, as she wound one silky leg around his thigh.
He was too shocked and needy to protest in any way.
Rising to her knees over him, she licked her lips and gazed at him with such slumberous anticipation that he was ready to spontaneously combust. Then she bent over and took him into her warm hands.
“Susannah,” he warned.
But she paid no heed. “Ahh,” she said as she stroked his erection and glided fingertips over every slick inch.
Then without warning, she bent her head lower and took his tip into her hot, lush mouth. Sudden electric impulses convulsed along his spine, and he dug his heels into the mattress to keep from jumping out of his skin.
Sweet. Hot. Powerful.
Burying his hands in her thick hair, he issued a low growl and dove headfirst into the sensations caused by her tongue tasting his flesh. When she seduced him even further with deep suction, he got lost inside her desire.
But this didn’t feel like simple lust. Everything about it was more complicated, more intense. She was giving him pleasure beyond measure and not asking for anything in return.
“Susannah,” he croaked on a harsh breath. “Stop.” Don’t stop.
When she didn’t stop—when she only sucked him in deeper—he gave up. And taking her head in both his hands, he guided her in setting a mind-blowing tempo. The friction was such an exquisite treasure that his heart fell open into her gift.
Whatever she lacked in knowledge, she was making up for with enthusiasm. She wanted to give him pleasure. She wanted so ardently to make it right for him that she’d lost all inhibition.
He could never feel guilty about handing over control of their lovemaking to her—about letting her do all the giving and him the taking. She was making it abundantly clear, with every sexy little sound coming from deep within her throat, that in giving him this night she was also on the receiving end of immeasurable pleasure.
He’d thought he could stop her in the nick of time, and he did try stilling her by issuing a plea. “I can’t hold back. Wait…”
But his protests only made her lift her eyes to look at him and then take him in deeper. The expression on her beautiful face wavered somewhere between depthless passion and the absolute certainty of finishing the job she’d started.
He’d wanted her to come with him, needed her to feel the passion as he did, but one look at her ecstasy and he was a goner. No amount of effort could rein him in. It was too intense, too bold.
Vibrating with heat, he jumped over an edge he’d never known he could reach. The whole experience transcended physical and moved into a realm he didn’t recognize—someplace magical, nearly spiritual.
Out of breath and sweaty, he hooked his hands under her arms and dragged her up his body. Curling close to him, she murmured something low and settled in as though she expected them to fall asleep in each other’s arms.
But that wasn’t going to do it for him tonight. Oh, no, there wasn’t an ice cube’s chance in hell they would be ending things here.
* * *
Nathan stirred, dragging her close for a soul-shaking kiss. Mmm. But how could his libido have rebounded this quickly? Susannah had imagined that he would just accept his gift and then give her a few moments to quietly lie in his arms pretending they were lovers for good before falling asleep.
But there was no such thing from him. His musky scent wrapped around her senses, sending her back into a passion that stole her inhibitions once again. There was no time for maybes or dreams of impossible futures—not when a man like this took charge.
His thundering heart beating against her chest told her clearly that he wanted more…much more of her. In a way, it thrilled her to know he wanted her. But in another way, she knew any more of being with him would ruin her forever for anyone else.
With his body so solid and sleek, she had to admit that she was probably already lost. No one else would ever match this man.
Littering her face with tiny butterfly kisses, he moved to her jaw, placing more soft kisses down her neck.
“I’ve wanted this since the moment we met,” he whispered and then moved to kneel between her parted thighs.
For a long moment, he gazed down at her body. The heat from the look in his eyes made her itchy and hot.
While continuing to watch her face closely in the ambient moonlight, he spread the fingers of one hand over her stomach. The heat seared her right through her nightgown. She gave a silent prayer that he would not take off the gown and look at her not-yet-fully-recovered-from-pregnancy body.
But just then she felt the heel of his other hand gently kneading the place that already ached for his touch. Suddenly she didn’t care what he saw as long as he never stopped.
Moaning, she closed her eyes and let the spectacular sensations roll through her body. When she raised her hips, he slipped her panties down and off.
“I want…” His voice was rough, his words barely audible.
She wanted, too. She wanted everything, but her voice completely failed her.
Placing his warm, wet mouth against her stomach, he kissed his way lower. Twitching, she tried hard to hold herself still.
As he slowly slid down her body, he dragged his open mouth over her sensitive skin. A raging fire was building to an inferno inside her as he parted her damp flesh and slid two fingers inside.
“You’re so wet,” he growled against her skin. “Beautiful. Hot. Just beautiful.”
His breath was warm against her skin. “I crave you, Susannah. I need…to taste…”
She stopped hearing anything else. The only sound was the blood rushing through her veins. She grabbed hold of the sheets and held on through a tremendous anticipation.
“Let me…let me…” He lowered his head and opened his mouth over her.
She hadn’t known how close she’d been. She hadn’t realized how intense it could be. Her release was long and convulsive, both draining and glorious. She found h
erself spinning into a place where stars melt and ecstasy resides.
Weeping at the sheer beauty of it, she reached for him, grabbing at his shoulders. “More,” she pleaded. “Come with me.”
The look on his face was priceless—like a man who’d tasted the best birthday cake ever, but he wasn’t quite ready to stop the feast. The sight of his lusty greed added chills to the fever of the moment.
He crawled up her body. “Don’t let me hurt you.”
“Not a chance.” She’d never wanted anything as much in her entire life.
Leaning up on his elbows, he kept his weight off her, staring down into her face as he slowly pushed his way inside her body. It felt like he belonged there—inside her, surrounding her. He stilled, letting her insides get used to his invasion.
Bending his head, he licked her lips, just the barest of touches. Then he raised his head again and smiled the smile of a man who knew exactly what he wanted. She couldn’t look away from his deep, compelling gaze. Her mind went blank. Her hips lifted off the bed in some kind of wild, instinctual move. And he slid deeper within her. Home.
It was so good, so right.
She wrapped her legs around his hips and squeezed tight. He began moving slow, steady. She raised her head, placed her hands on his face and blindly guided his mouth to hers for a kiss as deep as the feeling behind it. Mimicking with her tongue the actions she wanted him to make with his hips, she telegraphed her longing.
But too soon she found herself once again sliding into oblivion. She tried to hold back, but it was no use.
When she went off, he groaned, stiffened and threw his head back. As her body began convulsing around him, she cried out his name. It was too soon, much too soon. An uncontrollable rush of adrenaline seared through her belly, taking her to such shuddering pleasure that she thought she might pass out entirely.
Oh, my. Gasping for breath, she clung to him as he rolled them both over, keeping her close to his chest. She lay splayed out across his body, sweating profusely while her heart nearly jumped out of her chest.
Perfect Wyoming Complete Collection: Special Agent's Perfect Cover ; Rancher's Perfect Baby Rescue ; A Daughter's Perfect Secret ; Lawman's Perfect Surrender ; The Perfect Outsider ; Mercenary's Perfect Mission Page 25
