He recovered faster than she did. Still breathing heavily, he managed to speak. “Are you okay?”
All she could manage was a grunt and a tiny nod of her head.
“I’m sorry that…uh…went so fast. I’d meant for it to last a lot longer.”
Those words brought her back to her senses. “Don’t be sorry. That was maybe the most breathtaking time of my whole life. Another ten minutes and I’d have been dead for sure.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle when he relaxed against her and pulled her closer. “I’ve got no complaints,” she whispered. “If you didn’t notice, I was right with you hitting the high points. Twice, actually. So, thank you. It was spectacular.”
“You’re welcome.” He placed a kiss against her hair.
It was such a profound moment that she wondered how she could ever hope to live without this man now. She knew she had no choice. Their time was ending before it ever began.
But for now, for just this moment, she could close her eyes and pretend it would last forever.
* * *
Nathan didn’t know how long he’d been out. But when he felt Susannah’s absence, he opened his eyes to an empty bed. Reluctantly, he turned to the clock and found it had been several hours. How long had she been gone?
Last thing he knew, she was sleeping soundly in his arms. He’d had a moment to wish for things that could never be, for endless nights of the passion they created between them, for as much time to explore every inch of her body, discovering what pleased her and what didn’t, as he could stand.
A soft cry sounded in his ears. It was something like the sounds of a small animal in trouble. Sitting up, he swung his feet over the edge of the bed and looked around.
The door to the hallway was standing open. Susannah must’ve left it ajar when she left. Now that he was awake, he could tell the cries were coming from Melody. Amazing. A mother could hear the call of her baby even through two doors and when she was fast asleep.
It must be an ingrained characteristic of mothers. He wondered if he would ever be able to do the same thing.
Hell, what was wrong with him? He wasn’t going to get the chance. Both mother and baby needed to leave the ranch—and soon. The Devotees wouldn’t give up easily. Unless he missed his best guess, Samuel would never accept losing Susannah or the baby. Only if the two of them were somewhere thousands of miles away would Samuel ever stop hunting for them.
They were in danger every minute they stayed within the reach of Samuel’s tentacles.
Standing, Nathan searched around the room looking for his shorts. When he spotted them in a corner, he slipped them on and then gave a momentary thought to also donning his jeans.
But, no, he wouldn’t be going far—just across the hall to check on Susannah and the baby.
He’d peek in to make sure everything was okay and then come back to bed. After he assured himself that they were both fine, maybe he’d be able to sleep or maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, he couldn’t stand not seeing Susannah one last time tonight.
Sneaking across the hall in the dark, he pushed open her door. A night-light was burning, but it was impossible to see much of the room from his position.
He slid inside and closed the door behind him. Two steps farther into the room and he saw Susannah. She’d propped herself up in bed with a half-dozen pillows behind her back. And Melody was snuggled at her breast.
The sight of them together made his knees wobble. Why hadn’t he known all along that this is what he’d been craving? His entire life, since the day his mother died, he’d been desperate for a family of his own. For a loving wife and child who needed him.
And there they were. It was a sight so sweet, so compelling, that he had to ball his hands to keep from reaching out to them.
He must’ve made a strangled noise of pure need, because at that moment Susannah looked up and spotted him. But she didn’t seem distressed to see him standing there.
On the contrary, her smile was reminiscent of a painting of the Madonna. She tilted her head, indicating he should come closer so she wouldn’t have to yell at him across the room.
Moving that distance was like wading waist deep in a swamp. His feet were heavy, and his heart was heavy, too. Now that he’d figured it out, how could he let them go?
Susannah patted the bed next to her, and as if in a trance, he climbed right in. The moment he was there, though, he realized she wasn’t that comfortable. So he helped her sit forward and positioned himself behind her back.
“That’s better. Thanks.”
He couldn’t say a word. Holding them both felt right. How could he have let so much time go by without understanding that this is what he wanted? These two—in his bed, in his house for good—was what he wanted.
“Why aren’t you asleep, Nathan? I tried to sneak out without waking you.”
“The bed got cold. I didn’t like it alone.”
She chuckled, and he could’ve kicked himself in the head for saying too much. But Lord have mercy, he was in deep. Deep, dumb love. And it had happened fast.
This was different than with his first wife—much different. Back then, he was in love with the idea of being in love. No wonder it hadn’t worked out.
But with Susannah, he didn’t want to love her. He couldn’t possibly be in love with her. The timing was all wrong. The person was all wrong.
Yet here he was, totally and hopelessly lost.
He needed to send them away—for their sakes—to never see them again.
How could he ever manage to do it?
CHAPTER 9
After breakfast, Nathan didn’t go back out on the range with the rest of the hands. Instead, he took his last cup of coffee along with him and made his way to the opposite end of the ranch house to a separate wing where his brother had set up his private rooms.
Nathan seldom—no, make that never—came to this wing of the house. He had no idea what his brother did back in his cavelike rooms. All he knew was that it somehow involved computers and had nothing to do with the ranch. All the ranch’s paperwork was done in their offices located in one of the barns.
But today he needed the kind of help he’d hoped his brother could provide.
As he walked, images of last night with Susannah flooded his mind. He would rather not dwell on what they’d done together—not when this morning’s errand was to find a way of giving her a safe place to go when she and Melody left the ranch.
Without him.
The images of last night would not disappear from his mind—not ever. They would stick with him for life. But he would prefer to keep them buried until later, maybe years later when the loneliness finally became unbearable and he needed the strength and peace memories of Susannah could provide.
Arriving at his brother’s door, Nathan knocked and heard Derek call out an invitation to enter. Maybe today he would finally learn what his brother did with all his time.
He let out a breath and went in. “You have a minute?”
When his eyes adjusted to the low lighting, he realized he was standing in a room that looked a lot like an air traffic control tower. There were computers lining every wall. Lights blinked and buzzers dinged. From another room came various electrical noises, sounding as though a hundred technicians were at work on peripheral equipment in the spare room.
“Derek? Hello?” This first room was unoccupied except by the machines.
In a few seconds, his brother stuck his head out of the other room. “Nathan? For crying out loud, what are you doing here? I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure of your company in my office before.”
Were they really going to have to deal with old baggage before Nathan could get to the real reason he was here?
“Don’t tell me the ranch
is actually going to do without you for a day?” Derek grinned, looking so much like their mother that he took Nathan’s breath away, and pushed his glasses up on his forehead.
Yep. Looked like at least a few minutes were going to be wasted with talking over ancient grievances.
“I’ve been up since four-thirty,” Nathan ground out. “And I gave the men their working orders hours ago. I’ll check on them later, but I needed to talk to you first.”
“Well, come in and sit down, then.” Derek and his deep blue eyes disappeared into the next room. He was still tall and lanky, and still a pain in the neck.
By the time Nathan made his way over cords and past side tables full of heaven only knew what kind of machines, he found his brother clear across the next room, standing alone in a small kitchenette next to a coffeepot.
“Ready for a refill?” Derek called out.
“No.” He lifted his mug in the air to indicate he still had plenty. “But thanks.”
“No, problem. It’s not every day when the very busy Nathan Pierce deems something important enough to stop work in order to pay his good-for-nothing brother a visit.”
Oh, yeah. There it was—the topic that always turned into their biggest hassles and also had become the cause of their last great argument. Nathan regretted calling his brother lazy and wished he’d never uttered the word.
But he still believed in the sentiment behind it.
He wasn’t sure what to say. So he went to the small round dining table placed in a corner by the kitchenette and took a seat. And he kept his mouth shut.
“Is it bad news?” Derek joined him, placing his steaming mug on the table in front of his place. “It’s not Dad’s health?”
“To my knowledge, Dad’s health is fine. And the ranch is on solid footing now, too, thanks to that influx of cash we got from Samuel Grayson a while back.”
“You’ve still not forgiven Dad for that one, have you?” Derek blew on the coffee. “And by natural extension that means you haven’t forgiven me, either. Right?”
Nathan refused to delve into all the bad feelings between them today. “That’s not why I’ve come. What’s done is done. But you know how I feel about the Devotees and Grayson. And turns out, it’s partially them I’m here to see you about.”
“Speaking of Devotees, where’s Susannah?” Derek finally took a sip from his mug and studied him over the rim. “She’s really something. Has taken up coming to see me at least once a day.”
“Susannah has a busy day planned. She’s sitting with both the kids this morning and then she’ll be working with the horses this afternoon. She likes to work.”
“Yeah, yeah. I already know what you think of me. But will she be okay? You don’t for one moment believe the Devotees have given up on her and the baby. Is it safe to let her roam around the ranch on her own?”
“A couple of the hands will be watching out for her, and I’ve told her not to go anywhere but to stay close to the house.”
“I guess you know what you’re doing.”
Nathan’s temper flared at the subtle dig. “I know better than you. You never stick your nose out of these rooms long enough to find out what’s going on in the world. You didn’t even believe me when I tried to tell you how dangerous the Devotees were until Laurel was murdered.”
Derek laughed so hard he nearly spit coffee all over the table.
“What’s so funny?”
“You, bro. You think I don’t know what’s going on in the world, but it’s you who doesn’t ever get out past the confines of this ranch. Look around you.” He waved an arm toward the myriad of computers and peripheral equipment.
“Computers. So?”
“I get current events from around the world faster than you can blink. Every day I talk to people in New York, China and western Europe. I have information at my fingertips that would take you a hundred years to dig up if you even knew where to look.”
Tamping down on his ego for Susannah and the baby’s sake, Nathan said, “That’s exactly why I’m here. I need… Well, actually, Susannah needs information, and I’m hoping you can find it for her.”
Derek sat back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. “Like what kind of information?”
“Hawk Bledsoe stopped by to see me a few days ago. He says Susannah and Melody need to leave the ranch soon. That they will never be safe while living this close to the Devotees.”
“I don’t doubt that. So take them someplace. It’s easy to see they’ve come to mean something special to you. All of you go find a safer place.”
“You know I can’t leave the ranch. I have too many responsibilities to just up and go. Besides managing the ranch operations, there’s Sara. I can’t leave her, and how could I ever take her with us?”
“I agree that would be tough, but maybe not impossible.”
Nathan shook his head, more to convince himself than to convince his brother. “It would be impossible.”
Derek sat up in his chair and looked smug. “So maybe I should take Susannah and the baby away myself.”
Nathan caught the gleam in his brother’s eyes and knew he was goading him. He refused to rise to the bait.
“Sure thing,” he said, letting the sarcasm drip from each word. “But how could you walk away from all this stuff?”
That brought another laugh from Derek. “Are you serious? All the technical equipment anyone needs today can be carried around in a coat pocket and a briefcase. I could be ready to travel at a moment’s notice.”
Pressing his lips together, Nathan glared at his brother.
“Don’t worry. Don’t worry. I have other reasons for wanting to stay here, bro.” Derek ringed the lip of his mug with a finger. “So what do you want from me?”
“I’ve been working on cult-exit counseling with Susannah. I’m pretty sure she’s got the basics. But a big part of what any ex-cult member needs is a good support system. We’ve been her support while she’s staying on the ranch. But when she leaves, she won’t have anyone. I can pay for her physical support almost anywhere she wants to go, but she needs to be around people who understand what she’s been through. She needs to keep talking about it on a daily basis.”
“I still say you’re the best one for the job.”
“Derek.” He wanted to pound his brother but knew that was an overreaction. “Please? This isn’t easy for me.”
Derek stared at him for what seemed like forever, saying nothing. “Fine,” he finally acknowledged. “I’ll start researching group support facilities. I know there’s some good ones out there, but I’ll need to find one that has experience with cult-recovery counseling.”
“Thank you.” He stood and took another deep breath, happy he’d gotten his say and that Derek had agreed to help.
Derek stood, too, and stuck out his hand as though he wanted to shake. “I know this won’t patch everything up between us. But maybe it will be a start. At least I hope so.”
Taking his brother’s hand, he nodded his head and started out the door without saying another word.
Susannah had made him see things in a whole new light.
But before he could go on, he intended to never rest—to never stop trying until he found a way to bring down Samuel Grayson and his Devotees.
After Susannah was safely away, after he was sure she and the baby could never be found, he vowed to call the FBI and offer his services to that end. It was a promise made to himself and his dead ex-wife that he intended to keep—no matter what.
* * *
Susannah still felt a little groggy and sleep-deprived after lunch. She’d eaten with Kathryn and Sara while Melody took a nap. But her mind had never left Nathan and the things they’d done last night. She’d spent yet another morning wishing she and Nathan coul
d’ve talked before breakfast. But he’d said he had too much to do today…maybe tonight.
She certainly hoped so. But she had a feeling they wouldn’t get much talking done if they found themselves alone again.
He was too compelling. He was too sexy for her to keep her hands to herself. Their one night had been the best of her entire life, and she wouldn’t mind at all doing it over and over.
“Susannah, are you okay?” Kathryn put a hand on her arm to keep her from leaving right away. “You look tired today. Are you sure you’re feeling well?”
“I’m fine. I just didn’t get very much sleep last night.”
“Not bad dreams of Samuel Grayson again?”
“Oh, no.” She didn’t intend to confide in Kathryn, though she might’ve liked to ask her for advice.
She trusted Kathryn—almost as much as she trusted Nathan.
“Kathryn?” Deciding to change the subject, she started on a subject she’d been meaning to discuss. “If anything ever happens to me, would you make sure Melody is well taken care of?”
“What’s going to happen to you? You’re fine, aren’t you?”
She managed a smile. “Yes, of course. I was only wondering. You know, I might be in an accident or something someday. Things like that happen all the time.”
Kathryn put her arm around her shoulders for a hug. “Don’t think about such things. You’re going to live a long life and be the mother of the bride someday.”
“But just in case?”
Relenting, Kathryn whispered, “You know I will do whatever is necessary. Everyone on this ranch loves Melody and would die to keep her safe.”
“Thanks.” That’s exactly what she’d wanted to hear.
Susannah told Kathryn she’d see her later this evening when she picked up the baby. Starting off to do her chores in the horse barn, she couldn’t stop thinking.
Nathan was planning something, she could tell. He’d probably been trying to find a way to send her away from the ranch without her running into the Devotees. She knew he wouldn’t want her to get hurt.
Perfect Wyoming Complete Collection: Special Agent's Perfect Cover ; Rancher's Perfect Baby Rescue ; A Daughter's Perfect Secret ; Lawman's Perfect Surrender ; The Perfect Outsider ; Mercenary's Perfect Mission Page 26
