Sword Art Online - Volume 6 - Phantom Bullet

by Reki Kawahara

  “…Ahh, you’re right. During the last battle with Death Gun, if it wasn’t for Asuna holding my hand, I wouldn’t be able to use that move. I guess…it’s because of those two years in SAO…that your warmth reached me…”

  Of course, Shino couldn’t understand what Kirito meant by that. The boy found that she seemed to be puzzled and smiled in an embarrassed manner before explain,

  “Didn’t I say that I dived in from the hospital in Ochinomizu during the night of the finals? I never told anyone about that place, and Asuna tortured and interrogated Kikuoka before he spilled it out.”

  “Y, you don’t have to say it like that!”

  After Asuna said that, she puffed her cheeks angrily. Then, Kirito gave a mischievous smile and said,

  “And then, she dived in from this shop, but after knowing the location, came rushing over to that hospital I was at. At that moment…I was fighting with Death Gun, and she grabbed my hand tightly. And unbelievably…I did feel Asuna’s warmth at that moment. It’s thanks to her that I drew that FiveSeven handgun I had forgotten about.”

  “…I see…”

  Shino nodded her head silently. Though she was thinking whether the two of them were dating, she immediately threw that imagination aside. Luckily, Kirito didn’t notice this abnormal situation and slowly continued,

  “But that wasn’t all. After the tournament ended, I logged out, and Asuna told me…that the log in name «Sterben» Death Gun used was actually German, and it should be read as that. It meant «Death». But this was a name that only doctors and nurses would use in Japan, and so…I remembered that you told me that you have a friend who’s a doctor’s kid, and you were about to call him to your house, so I had a bad feeling. Once I found out that it would be too late once the police arrive, so I ride my bike to Yushima…but I didn’t really help out much…”

  These words shook Shino in a certain silent way.

  “…Sterben. Not Steven…”

  She muttered, closed her eyes, thought and said,

  “…Hospital’s term, it means death…why did he choose such a name…?”

  “Maybe he wanted to rebel against his dad who was a doctor. Anyway—it’s not a reason we can easily think of.”

  Kirito sighed. Sitting diagonally opposite him, right in front of Shino was Asuna, who said with an optimistic tone,

  “It’s better not to think too much into the meaning of a VRMMO character name. Once you find out certain truths, you’ll lose even more.”

  Beside her, Rika immediately chuckled and answered,

  “Oh~, as expected of someone who used her real name as the character name, it’s really convincing!”

  “Hey!”

  Asuna immediately attacked with her right elbow, and Rika pretended to look in pain. Shino inadvertently smiled as she watched their interactions with each other, and at this moment, Asuna suddenly looked at her. The shiny tea-colored eyes were glowing with brightness, and Shino felt strength in that humbleness.

  “Well…Asada-san…”

  “Wha, what is it?”

  “These words may not be suited for me to say this, but…I’m sorry, for letting you see such a terrifying thing.”

  “No…don’t say that…”

  Shino hurriedly shook her head and said each word out one by one,

  “This incident may be caused by me. Because of my personality, play style…my past and other things. Anyway, during the tournament, I panicked…luckily, Kirito made me calm down. Well, what was telecasted was that he was comforting Sinon…”

  And then, Kirito jumped up immediately and spilled out words in rapid fire.

  “Tha, that’s right. I almost forgot about the most important thing. It was an emergency, we were being chased down by that killer in that situation. Don’t think too much into it!”

  “…Alright then, we’ll trust you for now. But we don’t know what will happen in the future….”

  Rika continued to mutter as she stared at Kirito, but still clapped and showed her lively smile.

  “But I’m happy to know a female VRMMO player in the real world.”

  “That’s right. I still have a lot of things I want to ask about GGO. Please be friends with me, Asada-san.”

  Asuna gave a steady smile before stretching her right hand out on the table. After seeing that white and tender hand—

  Shino couldn’t help but feel somewhat intimidated.

  Friends. As the word entered her heart, she felt a burning sense of yearning, but also a sharp pain and anxiety.

  Friends. Ever since that incident, she had yearned for them many times, but got betrayed just as many times, until she finally told her heart that she should not wish for such luxury.

  I want to be friends with her. To hold the loving hands of this girl called Asuna, to embrace her warmth. I want to go out and play with her, to talk with her, to do what normal girls would do.

  But in that situation, it would be a matter of time before she knew that Shino killed before, that her hands were stained with blood.

  She was scared that Asuna would give her an irritated expression. To touch humans—such a simple act would likely be something that would be eternally denied to her.

  She thought that she should just head back like that, that the mere words of ‘being friends with her’ would be enough to warm her heart for a while. As she got ready to apologize—

  “Sinon…”

  This little muttering made Shino waver because of her shrinking consciousness. Her body jerked, and she then looked at Kirito beside her.

  As they exchanged looks, Kirito nodded his head slightly but firmly. His eyes were telling Shino that it was alright. Thus, Shino turned her eyes back to Asuna as if she was hypnotized.

  The girl was still smiling, and her right hand was still shown in front for Shino.

  Shino’s arm felt as heavy as a lead block. However, she was starting to fight against this shackle as she slowly, slowly lifted her arm. Compared to isolating herself because she didn’t want to doubt others or was scared for being betrayed, she would rather trust others and be hurt by them. That was the first time Shino had this thought ever since that incident.

  It felt like Asuna’s hand was far away. As the distance was closed in, the density of the air increased, feeling like there was a wall to bounce Shino’s hand back.

  However, her fingers finally touched the other party’s.

  The next moment, Shino’s right hand was tightly cupped by Asuna’s hand.

  That warmth really couldn’t be described with words. The warmth that was passed over started moving from the fingertips and up the arms, shoulders and entire body before finally melting Shino’s frozen blood.

  “Ah…”

  Shino subconsciously exhaled. To think that it would be that warm. She had long forgotten about something—a human’s hand touch can move the soul. At this moment, Shino felt that this was reality. She realized heavily that all the fear she used to have, how she continued to run away from this world, she was finally tied to this real reality now.

  Just like that, a few seconds passed, no, numerous seconds…

  At this moment, Shino noticed that the smiling Asuna showed some hesitation on her lips. As she instinctively tried to draw her hand back, Asuna held on with even more force. At this moment, Asuna seemed like she was choosing her words wisely as she slowly said to the bewildered Shino.

  “…Well, Asada-san…Shino-san. There’s another reason why we invited you here today. This may not make you comfortable…and it may make you angry. But, we, we have to…tell you no matter what…”

  “Reason…? Me, angry…?”

  She was losing grasp of the situation. But at this moment, Kirito, who was sitting on the left, said with a nervous voice,

  “Shino, well, I have to apologize to you first.”

  After that, the boy bowed his head down in apology. Then he used the pitch black eyes that were in the midst of that slightly long bangs and that girlish-avatar look to s
tare at Shino.

  “…I told Asuna and Lizbet what happened to you before. That’s because I needed their help.”

  “Eh…?”

  As Shino heard that Kirito told the truth to them, she couldn’t hear what happened next.

  —They knew what happened at the post office? Asuna and Rika knew what the 11-year-old Shino did?

  This time, Shino did use all her strength to try and pull her hand away from Asuna.

  But she didn’t succeed. This delicate girl called Asuna was holding Shino’ right hand with an unknown strength. The girl’s eyes, expression and the warmth she was passing through to her seemed like she wanted to say something to Shino. But—what? What did she want to say? Was there anything to say to me even after knowing that my hands were dyed in blood?

  “Shino…actually, I, Lizbet and Kirito all took leave on Monday from school, and went to the …city.”

  “——!!”

  At this moment, shock wouldn’t be enough to describe Shino’s emotion. During these few seconds, she could not understand what Asuna meant.

  The girl’s ample and glossy looking lips said a location. And that was the city where Shino stayed in until she graduated from middle school, the place where that incident happened, the place where she really wanted to forget and didn’t want to go back.

  Why, why, why?

  Shino could only feel this question spin in her head. Finally, she asked,

  “Why…must you do such a thing…?”

  She continued to shake her head and moved to stand up as she hurriedly tried to get away from here.

  But just before Shino stood up, Kirito’s hand was pressing down on her left shoulder. At this moment, his nervous voice entered Shino’s ears.

  “That’s because you never met the people you should have met, Sinon…and you didn’t hear the words you needed to hear. I thought that you would be hurt…but I, I just couldn’t sit by and let this go. So I used the database of the press to investigate that incident…I thought that it wouldn’t be clear to say it on the phone, so I went to the post office where that incident happened, and asked them to tell me how to contact that person.”

  “People…I should meet…? Words I should hear…?”

  Shino could only repeat the words blankly, and sitting beside her, Rika shot Kirito a look, got up and went deep into the shop. As the door with the plate PRIVATE was opened, a person appeared.

  It was a woman in her thirties. She had shoulder-length hair with slight make-up on. She was also dressed in a rather mature manner. She was more like a housewife than an office lady.

  And then, a set of footsteps proved that Shino’s impression was correct. A little girl who looked like she hadn’t entered primary school yet came running out. They looked really similar, and they’re most likely mother and daughter.

  But even after seeing these two people, Shino merely felt puzzled. She did not know who this mother and daughter pair was. She had never met them in her hometown before, let alone Tokyo.

  As the woman saw Shino standing there in a dazed manner, she looked sad yet happy for some reason, and then bowed deeply at Shino. The girl beside her bowed too.

  After maintaining that for a while, Rika prompted them to move to the table in front of Shino. Asuna got up to let the lady sit in front of Shino, and the little girl sat beside her mother. At this moment, the shopkeeper who continued to remain silent walked out silently from the bar, served a cup of café au lait in front of the mother and milk in front of the girl before heading back.

  Even at such a close distance, Shino still didn’t know who they were. Why did Kirito say that this woman should be someone ‘I should meet’? Was he mistaken or something…?

  ——No

  No, it felt like…deep in a certain part of her memory, a spark was suddenly created. She didn’t know them, so why—

  At this moment, the woman again bowed deeply at Shino and said her name with a slightly trembling voice.

  “Nice to meet you. You should be Asada…Shino-san, right? My name is Oosawa Sachie. This girl is called Mizue, and she’s four years old.”

  As expected, she had no impression of those two names at all. Speaking of which, Shino herself wouldn’t have any relation with a mother and daughter of this age, but her memory continued to hurt.

  Shino couldn’t even greet them as she widened her eyes while sitting on the chair. The mother called Sachie took a deep breath and said with a clear voice,

  “…I moved to Tokyo after giving birth to this child. In the past, I used to work in the …city, and the location where I worked was…”

  The moment she heard the next few words, Shino understood everything.

  “…The Post Office at Third Street.”

  “Ah…”

  Shino let out a soft voice from her mouth. That small and ordinary post office—was where that incident took place. Five years ago, Shino and her mother went there, and she had the incident that caused the biggest change in her life.

  The criminal with the gun killed the man at the window, and then looked like he did not know whether to shoot the two female workers at the counter or Shino’s mother. However, Shino lost control of herself and rushed at the man, snatched the gun—and squeezed the trigger.

  That’s right…this mother called Sachie was undoubtedly one of the female workers she met at the post office.

  In other words…Kirito deliberately went with Asuna and Rika to that post office, got the address of the female worker who resigned and moved to Tokyo, and after establishing contact with her, invited her to come over to meet Shino today.

  Shino could roughly get the gist of things, but there was still a greatest question withing her.

  Why? Why did Kirito do such a thing even if he had to take leave?

  “…I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Shino-san.”

  Sachie, who was sitting in front of Shino, teared up as she said that.

  Shino didn’t understand why she apologized at all and could only remain in her seat blankly. And the other party continued with a trembling voice,

  “I’m really sorry. I…should have met you earlier…but I really wanted to forget about that incident…so I came to Tokyo while using the fact that my husband was posted out…I could have thought it through and understand that you felt really hurt…but I didn’t even thank you or even apologize to you…”

  The tears in her eyes flowed out cascading down her face. That braided-hair girl beside her called Mizue seemed to be worried for her own mother as she looked up. Sachie silently patted the girl’s head.

  “…During that incident. Th, this girl was still in my stomach. So Shino-san, you didn’t just save me back then…you saved this child too. Really…really, thank you very much, thank you very much…”

  “…I saved…your lives?”

  Shino merely repeated those words.

  In that post office, Shino, who was only 11 years old, squeezed the trigger 3 times and took a person’s life. That was what Shino did, and what she always thought. However—this woman in front of her clearly said,

  That she was saved by Shino.

  “Sinon.”

  Beside her, Kirito said with a trembling voice,

  “Sinon, you had been blaming yourself all this while, punishing yourself. I can’t say that what you did is wrong, but—you also have the right to think of those you saved. In that case, you’ll find that you have the right, to forgive yourself. That’s what…I wanted to tell you…”

  Then, Kirito seemed like he didn’t know what else to say anymore and could only bite his lower lip.

  Looking away from the boy, Shino looked at Sachie again. She knew that she had to say something, but she just couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t even talk, or even think of anything for that matter…

  To-on.

  At this moment, a sound of light footsteps could be heard.

  That 4-year-old girl called Mizue jumped off her chair and ran around the table to Shino in small steps. Sach
ie should be the one who tied her hair which looked so silky and smooth. Her round face was showing a cute pink, and her large eyes were showing the purest and most innocent glow in this world.

  Mizue should be wearing a kindergarten uniform as she had a little bag on her back. She reached her hands into her bag and took out something.

  It was a drawing paper that was folded into a rectangular. She opened the paper clumsily and passed it to Shino.

  The picture that was drawn with crayons immediately entered Shino’s eyes. At the center of the picture was a woman’s face with long hair. That smiling face should belong to her mother—Sachie. And the braided girl on the right side should be herself. The bespectacled person on the left was her father.

  At the top of the picture, there were the words «Shi-no-o-ne-e-san-he» (To Shino onee-san) that were written in hiragana, probably just learnt in school.

  Mizue handed over the picture with both hands, and Shino received it with both hands as well. Mizue smiled and took a deep breath.

  It seemed that the girl practiced it many times before as she said each word one by one with an innocent and tender voice,

  “Shino onee-san, thank you for saving mama and Mizue.”

  At this moment, Shino’s eyes were covered—with the colors of the rainbow, and then, it was all jumbled up.

  After a while, she found herself crying. Before today, she did not know that such warmth, clarity and tears that could wash any stain away existed.

  Shino continued to cry as her hands continued to hold that piece of large picture.

  A small hand that was so tender felt somewhat timid right from the beginning, but then grabbed her right hand tightly.

  And what was held was the black spot, where the firepowder remained on her right hand—

  To accept all my past would likely take some time. Even so, I like this current world now.

  My life will have many pains from today onwards, and the path in front of me will have lots of thorns.

  But I believe that I can continue to walk on.

  Because my right hand that’s being held and the tears on my face are so warm.

  (END)