Where Shadows Lie

by Kim Stokely

  Edward actually looked relieved. He bowed low. “We will try again tomorrow.” He clapped his hands and the musicians gathered their instruments together.

  Maris stood over me. “Alystrine, really. Is this any way for a queen to behave?”

  “I’m not queen yet. Right now I’m a tired, crabby teenager who just wants to spend some time with her best friend before she sends him away forever.” I pulled off my shoes and rubbed my toes.

  Kennis held out her hand and helped me up. “The weather has cleared some. I was out this morning for a bit. I’ll arrange for Josh to meet you in the East Gardens.” She glanced at Maris. “Make sure she wears a cloak and proper shoes. The grounds will be muddy.”

  The thought of spending time with Josh renewed my energy and I hurried through the hallways to my rooms. Maris struggled to keep up. I rang for Rhoswen as soon as I entered my quarters. “I need a cloak and some boots. I’m going for a walk.”

  She curtsied. “Of course.”

  I laced up the boots myself, which annoyed Maris, who thought I should wait for my maid. She sighed. “I’d hoped to rest before supper tonight.” She looked to Rhoswen. “Would you mind showing her the way?”

  Rhoswen curtsied again. “Give me a moment to find my own cloak and I’ll be ready.”

  I swung the hunter green woolen cape around my shoulders and buttoned it under my chin. ”Where’s the East Garden?”

  My grandmother kissed my cheek. She paused and put her hand to my face. “You are young and full of life, Alystrine. But you cannot forget your place. Or the place of those around you.” Her eyes held mine. “Be careful in all you do and say.”

  I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

  After she left, I paced anxiously around the room until Rhoswen appeared. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes, my lady.” She shook her head. “Although I don’t know why a walk in the gardens this time of year has you so excited.”

  I waited until we passed the guards outside my door before I answered her question. Even then I kept my voice low. “It’s not the gardens I want to see. It’s my friend.”

  “The young man from your world?”

  I picked up my pace. “I’ve been worried about him.”

  Rhoswen kept up with me, guiding me down the marble stairs and through the hallways until we reached an arched doorway. She un-latched the door and a brisk wind swept through the hall.

  Rhoswen shivered. “Are you sure you want to meet him outside?”

  “Yes.” I stepped past her and out into the gardens. The palace surrounded us on two sides while about a quarter mile in the distance I made out the high outer walls that separated the palace from the city. Dead flower beds lay in a circle around me, a pavestone path running between them. Beyond that lay a maze of high hedges. I wandered around the path while Rhoswen sat on a marble bench.

  The high walls protected us from the worst of the wind and the sun did its best to warm the winter air. Kennis and Josh came out of a different door from the palace. I smiled and ran over to them.

  “Alystrine!” My mother spoke through a frozen smile. “As secluded as this place is, there are still eyes all around.”

  I refrained from giving Josh the hug I longed to give him. Instead I took his hand. “I’m sorry it has to be like this.”

  He shrugged. “At least I get to spend some time with you.”

  I pulled him away from Kennis’ side. “Let’s walk.”

  My mother let us get about ten feet from her before she followed.

  “I hate this,” I said under my breath.

  “Me, too.”

  We sat down on a bench, our backs to our chaperones. “How are you, really?” I asked. “I know what’s happened is bizarre, but have they treated you well?”

  “Once they let me out of the prison.” He looked down at me. “I won’t lie, that sucked.”

  “I wanted to come to you. They wouldn’t let me.”

  “Who wouldn’t?”

  “My father, Quinn, Devnet. Did you meet them yet?”

  “Yesterday.” He stared at our hands, still entwined together. “I don’t think your father likes me much.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “He kept giving me this look . . . .”

  I studied our hands as well. My smaller one enveloped by his. “What look?”

  “The one that says ‘I’m gonna gut you if you lay a hand on my daughter.’”

  I laughed. “He’s just worried.”

  “About what?”

  I stood and tried to let go of Josh but he wouldn’t release me. I pulled him toward the path along the hedges. “He knows what you mean to me. How much I’d risk to keep you safe.”

  Josh stopped walking, so I had to, too. “And how much is that?”

  I watched a leaf scuttle along the path in the wind. “Everything.”

  “Look at me, Ally.”

  My chest tightened. “I can’t.”

  “Please?”

  I lifted my eyes and saw the desire in his. It took my breath away. Kennis coughed a few times. We stepped back from each other but kept our hands clasped.

  “I want to kiss you so badly right now.” His voice sounded husky and low.

  My cheeks warmed even in the cold breeze. A dead leaf landed on the collar of his brown woolen coat. I brushed it aside.

  Josh put his hand over mine. “What is this place? Why are you having a coronation?”

  I guided him over to another bench by the bushes. “This is going to take a while, but now that you’re here, I think you’ll believe what I have to tell you.” The afternoon sun sank toward the horizon as I told him more about Ayden and my place in its future. The red glow of sunset reflected off his face when I finished my story.

  “You’re going to be queen?”

  I nodded. “Freaky, huh?”

  “Very.”

  “That’s why I have to be so careful about what I say and do. As the future queen I have to act a certain way. I can’t . . . .”

  His brown eyes studied my face. “You can’t what?”

  “I can’t be with who I want to be with.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I pulled the cloak around my shoulders. “My life . . . my choices will be made by a room full of counselors. Who I make treaties with . . . who gets certain parcels of land . . . who I marry.” I walked away from the bench.

  Josh caught up with me. We strolled along the path in silence until we came to an opening in the hedge maze. I glanced quickly over Josh’s shoulder to see Kennis momentarily distracted by a leaf stuck to her boot.

  I pulled Josh within the maze. “Come on! Let’s lose ourselves for a minute.”

  We raced in together around several corners before stopping to catch our breath. We stood in the shadow of the setting sun with nothing but the green hedge around us. Josh placed his hand on the small of my back and pressed me to him. Our lips met in a brief, hard kiss. He didn’t let me go even though I tried to step back.

  “Don’t.”

  He covered my mouth with his so I couldn’t speak. I had thought this is what I wanted, but it was too soon after the events in the Fey. My skin crawled with the memory of Mahon’s touch. His breath on my neck. I pushed Josh away. “Stop it.”

  “Ally, I love you. Don’t you see? I want to be with you.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping to stop the irrational paranoia threatening to overtake me.

  Josh brushed my tears with his fingers. “What’s the matter?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to see the same look in his eyes that I’d seen in everyone else’s this morning. I ran down another aisle in the maze, trying to lose him.

  His longer legs easily caught up with me. “What happened?”

  I picked the needles off the branch in front of me. “Yesterday . . . when I was trying to get to you . . . I was attacked.”

  “Attacked? How?”

  I took a moment to swallow. “Th
ey tried to rape me Josh. I got away . . . but I . . . .”

  “Come here.” His touch was gentle. I turned and fell against his chest. He wrapped me in his arms, resting his chin on my head. “I’m so sorry.”

  I thought my tears were spent yesterday, but I sobbed again. Josh spoke soft words of comfort.

  “Alystrine!” My mother’s voice carried on the wind.

  Josh tightened his embrace. “Come back with me. Leave this place.”

  Kennis barked my name again. I could tell she was mad.

  He lifted my head. “Take us home, Ally. We can be together, just us.”

  “I can’t.” I stepped around him but he pulled me back. I looked down so he could only kiss my forehead.

  “God, Ally, you’re killing me.”

  They were the same words Tegan had used on the beach. “I want to love you, but I can’t.”

  “But you do! I can feel it when we kiss. You know we’re meant to be together.”

  “Alystrine!” My mother yelled from a nearby row.

  “Coming!” I looked up into Josh’s face. “We have to go.”

  He still held my arm. I couldn’t move. “I’ll stay here then.”

  “What?”

  “I won’t go back.”

  I stared into his eyes. “You would leave everything? Your parents, Renee . . . for me?”

  He lifted his other hand and wrapped it behind my neck. “Yes. Anything for you.” He bent into me for another kiss.

  “Enough of this!” Kennis pulled us apart. She glared at Josh but turned her full wrath on me. “You don’t listen, do you?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

  “Not hard enough.” She grabbed my shoulders. “Think! Think of what Braedon would do to Josh if he stayed here. Is there a place he’d be safe? Is there anywhere he could hide where the Braedon wouldn’t eventually root him out and torture him, if only to see the pain it would cause you?”

  I closed my eyes, knowing she spoke the truth. I would never get to experience love the way I’d dreamed of it, just like she hadn’t. Anyone I loved could be used as a weapon against me.

  “Mrs. Foster,” Josh’s voice begged. “Please. You don’t understand what she means to me. I’m willing to do anything.”

  Kennis let me go then whirled on him. “Stop it! Don’t say anything more. You have no idea what kind of danger her feelings for you put her in. Do you want that? Do you want to cause her pain like that?”

  “No, but–”

  “There are no ‘buts’ Josh. I’m sorry you got wrapped up in this. We must get you out as soon as we can.”

  More voices muttered back in the garden. Kennis squared her shoulders then straightened Josh’s hair. She turned to me. “We’ll walk out first. Josh, follow at least five steps behind.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “Wipe your face, Alystrine. You look dreadful.”

  I tried to dry my cheeks with my cape.

  Lord Braedon and his brother, Caradoc, stood talking with Rhoswen. The young woman gave me a relieved smile when Kennis and I stepped out of the hedge.

  “Ah, there you are.” Braedon bowed. “Alystrine. Kennis.” He looked over our shoulders. “And . . . Josh. That was your name, wasn’t it, boy?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Braedon took a step toward us. “And what are you all doing out in the gardens on such a blustery winter’s day?”

  I glared at him. “Josh needed some air after being cooped up in the prison.”

  Caradoc snorted.

  Braedon raised an eyebrow. “I’ve come to request your presence in the dining hall tonight.” He lifted his gaze. “Kennis and your friend as well. My father and I would like to discuss the coronation ceremony.”

  “Allow us some time to freshen up,” Kennis said, “and we would be honored to join you.”

  Rhoswen and I skirted around the Lord Regent. Braedon waited until my mother and Josh had left the garden through the closest door before calling to me. “Alystrine, may I speak with you a moment?”

  My heart thudded in my chest.

  Rhoswen glanced furtively between the two men. “I’ll wait here for you.”

  I walked back toward them. Caradoc pretended to find something interesting in one of the dead flower beds, while Braedon’s eyes watched me like a hawk hunting its prey. I took a deep breath. “What do you want?”

  He looked pained. “So cold to your future husband?”

  “What. Do. You. Want?”

  He swept my arm in his. “To give you a warning, my dear. This coronation will go as planned. I will brook no surprises from the Elders, from the nobles, from the Brethren. I will keep your friend here as security for that.”

  We’d been walking toward the door but now I stopped in my tracks. I wanted to scream, He doesn’t belong here. You can’t keep him here. Instead I shrugged. “He doesn’t want to leave yet, anyway.”

  Braedon brushed a rogue hair from my face. From anyone else, it would have been a gesture of comfort. From the Lord Regent, it was a threat. “He can go when you are queen and the contract has been read.”

  I couldn’t keep my frustration inside. “I have a year before I have to marry you,” I spat.

  His crooked smile made my blood freeze. “Then he stays a year.”

  “But that’s two years back home. You can’t do that to him!”

  “I won’t be doing it, you will. As soon as the contract is read and I am accepted as your betrothed, the boy can return to his life.” His grip on my arm tightened as he led me back to Rhoswen. “He’s in your hands, Alystrine.”

  Caradoc came up behind us. “We’ll see you at dinner then, shall we?”

  I glared at him. “Once again, your brother has managed to ruin my appetite.”

  Caradoc took my hand and lifted it to his lips. “Sit by me, my lady. I’ll make sure my brother behaves at the table.” He kissed my fingers.

  I freed myself from his hold. Unable to come up with anything snarky to say, I turned and made my way to the door.

  Braedon’s voice followed behind me. “I don’t think she likes you, brother.”

  Caradoc chuckled. “Only because she doesn’t know me.” He called out after me, “You’ll see, Alystrine. You really will like me when you come to know me better!”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Unexpected Visitor

  Rhoswen barely squeaked through the door to my chambers before I slammed it. Growling, I picked up one of the cushions from a chair and screamed into it. “I hate that man.”

  The maid scurried to another room as I ranted and paced around the sitting area. She came back a minute later with a new gown.

  “My lady, we really should get you dressed for dinner.”

  I knew she was right. Anything I did to displease Braedon could potentially lead to pain for Josh. I just wish I had an excuse not to go.

  And then it came.

  I grabbed my side as a cramp stabbed through my stomach.

  “My Lady? Are you well?”

  I swore under my breath. I should have recognized the signs, but with everything else on my mind, I hadn’t paid attention.

  “What is it?”

  “I’ve got my period.”

  Rhoswen squinted her eyes. “Your what?”

  “My cycle?” Still the girl stared at me with no comprehension. “My monthly visitor? My courses?”

  The light bulb clicked on. Rhoswen clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful news!”

  I nearly doubled over from another cramp. “I don’t know what you’re so excited about, I’m not thrilled.”

  The red-haired girl came to my side. “We’ve all been waiting, don’t you see?”

  “No.” In fact, the thought totally creeped me out. “Why do you care?”

  “It’s the first thing Lady Kennis asked when she met me. ‘Whether you had your courses while you were here.’ You see, some of them don’t.”

  “Some of who don’t?”

  “Travelers that c
ome through. Sometimes the passages do funny things to their insides.” She led me over to the bed. “Their courses change. Some never have one again. I told the Lady Kennis that you hadn’t bled when you were last here. And that was five weeks you were with us.” I hopped up on the bed. “It’s been almost two moons. We’ve all been praying that you’d start soon.”

  “Whose ‘we’?”

  “Everyone.”

  “Like you and Kennis?”

  “Aye. And your father and uncle. Quinn. The servants. Even Braedon has asked.”

  I rolled over and hid my face in a pillow. I had just gotten used to the idea that my every conversation and relationship would be scrutinized. Now it seemed every aspect of my personal life would be an open book as well. I pulled my knees up as another cramp struck.

  “Can I get you some tea?”

  I shook my head. “I want my mother.” I lifted my head from the pillow. “I need Kennis. And tell her to bring her bag.” I grabbed her arm before she could leave. “What do I do?”

  “Excuse me?”

  The reality hit me that I wouldn’t be going to the drug store to buy anything. I didn’t want to think about what I’d have to use. “What am I supposed to do?”

  “Come here, my lady. I’ll help you, then I’ll fetch the Lady Kennis.”

  Kennis found me curled up like an apostrophe on the bed. Moaning.

  “Don’t be so dramatic, Alystrine.” She rubbed my back. “I’m sure it’s not so bad.”

  “How would you know?” I groaned again. “And by the way? This using rags stuff is gross. You might have at least prepared me for that.”

  “I brought some ibuprofen.”

  “Thank God.” I rolled over and held my hand out. I swallowed the pills while my mother poured me a cup of water.

  “Drink it all.”

  I sighed. “Yes ma’am.” I handed the cup back to her when I’d finished. “Do they know?”

  “What?”

  “Did Rhoswen tell the whole dinner party I have my period?”

  “No.”

  I sent up a silent prayer of thanks.