by Brie Paisley
I shut the book quickly and toss it in front of me. I don’t know what to make of this revelation. I know it means something, but I push the thought away before it forms. I distract myself by picking up my phone and read Caden’s message.
I am sorry, Shel. But if we hadn’t intervened, you would’ve never seen him.
I sigh knowing he’s right. If I could, I would’ve put it off longer than I had. I quickly fire back a response to him.
I’m not mad. Next time promise me you’ll give me some sort of warning.
I chew on my nail again as I wait for him to reply back. When he doesn’t immediately message me I set my phone down, and get up off the bed. Walking over to my dresser, I pull out some comfy pajamas. After grabbing everything I need and setting my necklace down on the bedside table, I go to the hallway bathroom and quickly take a shower. It’s been a long, emotional draining day, and I can’t wait to crawl in bed. I can only hope my nightmares won’t return. After the shower, I poke my head in Annie and William’s room to tell them goodnight. Annie smiles up at me from her book, and we giggle quietly when William snores loudly. I pull their door shut, and go back to my room. I shut off my light and turn on my lamp beside my bed. I push back the comforter and lie down, but before getting comfortable, I reach over and grab my necklace. I put it back on, and let out a huff when I hear my phone going off again. Leaning up to grab it, I quickly type in my password, and seeing the text makes my mouth goes dry.
Here’s your warning. I’m outside.
I don’t take the time to reply. I press his number, and it rings only once before he answers. “What the hell, Caden? Why are you outside?”
“I’m sorry, Shelby. You need to come with me, and we need to hurry.”
Okay, now I’m starting to think the worst. “What’s going on, Caden?” I throw the covers off me, and quickly pull off my pajama bottoms, putting on some shorts. I hear Caden talking to someone, but I can’t make out their voice. “Caden? Please tell me what’s wrong?”
“Are you coming outside?”
“I’ll be down in a few.” I hang up, knowing he’s not going to tell me anything. I have no clue what’s going on, and I shake out my hands to get them to stop the jitters. I slide on my sports bra and toss on a simple white T-shirt before letting Annie know what’s going on. I slowly open the door to their room again, quickly relaying what I know. She doesn’t ask too many questions, and I tell her I’ll be back as soon as I can.
I have to force myself not to run down the stairs. I don’t want to make a lot of noise since I know William is fast asleep. I snatch my purse off the floor by the couch, and forcefully open the door. I watch Caden for a second as he paces on the porch. He sees me, and I can tell he’s worried. His eyebrows are drawn close together, and he looks pale. “Please tell me no one’s hurt,” I say as I walk out the door, closing it behind me.
“Ah, well. Here’s the thing,” he looks over his shoulder, and I follow his eyes. I see Cason leaning against what I assume is his truck, but I can tell by his body language, he’s not happy. His arms and legs are crossed and the way he’s looking at me, makes me take a step back. “Don’t mind him. He’s pissed, but we need your help.”
I swallow, shocked for the first time since knowing Cason, I’m afraid of him. I shake off the feeling as I pull my gaze back to Caden and ask, “What do you need me to do?” I don’t even ask what exactly he wants. I just sense they need me, and I’ll help them however I can.
“Come on. I’ll explain on the way.” I nod, and follow Caden to Cason’s truck. Cason says nothing to me, doesn’t even look my way, as we climb in the truck.
Soon after, Cason skillfully and swiftly drives down the road. I sit in the back staring out the window, still wondering what the hell is going on. Caden and Cason don’t say a word as we travel down the road, and I begin to see the familiar houses from my childhood. When we pass by Linda and Mitchell’s home, I have a feeling I know where our destination will be. “Caden? I think it’s about time you tell me what the fuck is going on.”
He turns around, and I can barely make out his face in the dark truck. But from his voice, I can tell he’s sincere when he says, “I’m sorry. I really am, but we had no choice. We didn’t know what else to do.” He straightens in his seat as he says, “It hasn’t been this bad in a long time.” I don’t respond because I’m not sure if I was meant to hear that or not.
I try not to get frustrated at Caden for keeping me in the dark, but I have a good idea why he did. Whatever is going on, it has to do with Carter. It’s the most logical reason why both brothers came to get me, and why they wanted to leave so suddenly. I know how the twins are. They’re protective of family. No matter what. I use to be one they protected, but now I feel as though I did something wrong. I can’t help but feel guilty, but I’m not sure what I should be feeling guilty about. I have a sense I’m about to find out.
Shortly after, Cason pulls up at a very modern home, and I can see another truck parked out front. There’s also an old Volkswagen Beetle parked beside it. Cason parks, quickly gets out, then Caden does the same. I sit still in the back, unsure of what to do. My heart is pounding in my chest, and my stomach is doing flips. I snap my head to the door as it opens and Caden stares at me. “Come on, Shel. I really need you to get out of the truck and come inside.” I want to ask why, or demand he tell me what the hell is happening but I don’t. I just nod and slowly get out. I follow him towards the house, and Cason comes up behind me. I want to yell at them for boxing me in, but I have a feeling they did it on purpose.
This is their way of making sure I don’t run away from whatever’s happening. I can’t say I blame them, but it does hurt knowing they think that’s the first thing I’ll do.
Caden opens the door and once inside, I hear him yelling. I don’t even get a chance to look around the room. His booming voice stops me in my tracks, and Cason bumps into me. I feel his hands on my shoulders as he keeps me from falling, but I realize whose house I’m in. This is Carter’s house. And whatever is going on at the back of the house isn’t pretty.
“Fuck off, Beth! I told you I don’t need your help. I don’t need any of you. Just get the fuck out!” I swallow hard at his loud and hateful tone. I have to shake my head, willing myself to stay in the present and not let the past take over me. Easton would always tell me similar things, and I know Caden and Cason didn’t bring me here for me to relive those hurtful years. But just being reminded of my past, my heart drums in my chest, and I start to back away from Carter’s voice. Bumping into Cason once again, he holds me in place and I clench my jaw, knowing I can’t run away like I wanted.
“Carter, if you don’t stop with that I’ll smack you sober. I’m not going anywhere until you put the bottle down, and tell me what happened.” I wonder who this Beth is, and I also wonder what she’s doing here. Caden takes a seat on the brown leather sofa, and I move into the kitchen. I set my purse down on the counter, but I don’t dare go to the back where Beth and Carter are talking. I can feel the tension in the room, and I don’t think me being here is going to help.
“I fucked up, that’s what. I’m so stupid. You know, I thought just for a second, she’d be happy to see me.”
“Let me guess. You saw, Shelby.” I clench my jaw as I hear my name and at the sound of her hateful tone. Beth doesn’t seem to like me even if she’s never met me. I once again wonder what her relationship is with Carter.
“You can blame asshole one and two for that.” I glance over at Caden. His head is down, and I can tell he feels responsible. Cason is still standing by the door guarding it, with his arms crossed, staring at his twin. “It’s all my fault though. I drove her away. I pushed the right buttons knowing what she’d do, but I didn’t think she would come back. I just can’t, Beth. Please, just go.” I can hear the agony in his voice, and it makes my chest hurt.
I don’t hear either one of them talking for a moment, and jump when a door slams. I hear footsteps coming from down
the hall, and I take a step back, nervous as to who I might see. Will it be Carter or this Beth chick that I know nothing about? My butt hits the kitchen island, and I hold my breath as I wait to see who’s coming around the corner. Part of me hopes it’s Carter just so I can see him again. It’s stupid really. Earlier today I wanted nothing more for him to leave, to give me more time and space, but now I realize I’m just holding onto the anger and resentment I feel. I know it’s not entirely Carter’s fault for what I went through with Easton, but if he’d never pushed me away, or if he tried to come after me, maybe I wouldn’t have gone through any of it.
The mental abuse. The loneliness I felt constantly or the public humiliation Easton put me through.
I push those unwanted thoughts away as the footsteps come closer. I think they belong to the woman Beth, as the steps are light and not heavy like a man’s would be. I clutch the island’s corner with my hand, feeling it go numb. My erratic heart is making me feel dizzy, but take a deep breath and will myself to focus. I have to stop being so weak and letting my emotions get the best of me. I frown when the mystery woman walks into my view. She’s definitely not what I was expecting and not someone I thought Carter would hang around with. Let alone date. I ignore the twinge of jealousy that runs through me. She stops mid-way into the kitchen when she sees me, and for a moment, we both seem to be sizing each other up. She’s a short woman, all curves, and I can’t help but admire the colorful art work on her left arm. Her hair is blonde, hot pink, and black, and I find she can really pull off the punk rock look. She has a nose, lip, and an eyebrow piercing to complete her rebel personality. Her eyes narrow at me, and I know she’s doing exactly what I am. I wonder what she sees in me, and dart my eyes away from her intense gaze.
“So, this is her?” She asks but I’m not sure who she’s talking to. I clench my jaw, not liking the tone of her voice. It’s as though she already hates me, but she doesn’t even know me.
“Be nice, Beth. She’s here to talk some sense into Carter,” Caden says behind me.
Beth rolls her eyes and points a finger at me as she spits out, “You need to leave. You’ve done enough, and we definitely don’t need you here now.”
I suck in a breath, trying not to let her malicious words affect me. “First off,” I start, but Beth shakes her head and cuts me off.
“Listen, I don’t know who you think you are, but you need to leave. Now. Before I make you.”
I flinch back at her harsh and violent words. Caden walks beside me, and I sigh when he starts to stick up for me. “I said be nice, Bethany. Lay off and take a breather.” Caden turns to Cason as he says, “Cas, take her outside before she does something stupid.”
“What the fuck, Caden? You can’t just toss me out, and let her come back like nothing ever happened. This is bullshit, and we all know this is on her anyway.” I can’t find the words to stick up for myself. She’s right and I know it.
“Cas, get her the fuck out of here before I lose my shit.” I watch as Cason finally does what Caden asks, and a part of me wonders if Cason wanted me to feel the sting of Bethany’s words. I can’t help but feel a wave of sadness, and the guilt trying to consume me. I look down at my feet, blinking back the tears that try to fall. Bethany says something, but I don’t hear her. I block her out as I shut my eyes, trying to forget why the hell I even agreed to come here. I should’ve known it would be a mistake to willingly come with Caden. I don’t think he meant for Bethany and me to run into each other, but it happened and now it’s just something else I need to repair. I can’t stand the thought of her thinking such horrible things about me. She has no idea who I am or what I went through.
“Hey, you alright?” Caden asks as he puts a hand on my shoulder.
I clear my throat and nod as I reply, “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“You know she didn’t mean any of that. She’s just pissed because Carter is acting the way he is. Just ignore her.”
I glance up and say, “She’s right though. None of this would’ve happened if I had handled seeing him earlier better, or never left to begin with.” I lick my lips and shake my head as I add, “She may not like me, but I had a very good reason for leaving when I did and acted the way I did today. None of you understand.”
Caden’s hand on my shoulder tightens, and my heart aches in my chest when he says, “No matter what happened, we’re all still here for you, Shel.”
“You really mean that?”
“Yeah, I do. I know shit went down, and things didn’t go the way we all hoped, but you’re here now so that’s all I care about.” He takes his hand off my shoulder and says, “Let’s go knock some sense into my dumbass brother.”
I nod and follow him down the hallway. I notice the pictures hanging on the walls as we pass by them, and I feel a sense of longing when I see how happy everyone seems in them. I hate knowing I missed all this. I hate not knowing what happened to Carter after I left, and it makes everyone so worried about him now. It took me a long time to get over what happened the day Carter broke my heart. Actually, I never really got over it. It was more of pushing down the sorrow and pretending to be normal. That took two years, and it was a horrible two years.
I almost run into Caden as he stops in front of a door and he turns to me before opening it. “I need to warn you. He’s not going to be himself right now. He might say shit he doesn’t mean, but he needs you.” He sighs and swallows hard then says, “He’s hurting, Shelby. Seeing you today, and then with the huge fight with Mom and Dad later, he didn’t know what to do.”
I glance at the door, as if it’ll hold some sort of answers, but I know this is something I need to do. I have to let go of the past anger, and I need to remember that Carter was once my best friend. Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten that. “I’ll do my best, but I’m not sure if he’ll even want me here.” Saying it out loud makes my stomach take a dive. It’s true, and my fears of seeing Carter angry still makes me want to run. Maybe this is my test to see how much I’ve overcome, but I still am unsure. Carter was my best friend a long time ago, but he’s not the same person he once was. All I can do is try and if things get to be too much, I’ll leave. Just knowing I have a way out makes my nerves ease by a small fraction.
“He does. He might not want to admit it, but he needs you. When you left the first time, it was really bad, but it’s not my story to tell. I’ll be outside if you need me, okay?”
I nod and watch him as he walks away. I push out a breath, trying to prepare myself for what I’m about to see. My hand shakes as I reach for the doorknob, but I will myself to be strong. I have to make sure Carter’s okay, and hopefully I can talk some sense into him. I turn the knob and the door slowly opens. I cautiously step in the doorway taking everything in. Carter’s room is everything I’d imagined it would be. Dark hardwood floors complete the light gray walls perfectly. There’s a long dresser on one side, and a tall armoire sitting by the wall on the other side of the room. There’s a few paintings to decorate the room, but the bed is what’s holding my attention. It’s a king size sleigh bed, and it’s a little lighter than the floor. But it’s not really the bed I’m taking in. Carter lies on his back with an arm over his face. He’s not wearing a shirt, and I bite my lip seeing his perfectly shaped abs. I have to suck in a breath when he breathes deep, and his muscles contract. I run a hand through my hair, making myself look away. His comforter is tossed on the floor, and I also notice a Jack Daniels bottle on his bedside dresser. Seeing the bottle makes me think of my father and his drinking problem and it adds to my unease, but I force myself to slowly trudge into his room. My hands are still shaking, and my stomach drops when he reaches blindly for the half empty bottle of whiskey.
“Son of a bitch,” he calls out, not realizing I’m here yet. I watch as he knocks the bottle off, spilling the brown liquid on the floor. He huffs out an aggravated breath and slaps both hands on his bed. His eyes are open, but they’re staring up at the ceiling. It’s now or never. I quietly shut th
e door and move further into his room. When I get closer to his bed, his eyes move to me. “Oh fuck. I must be really shit faced. Now I’m hallucinating.”
I sigh before saying, “I’m not in your head, Carter.”
He frowns, really taking me in and considering my words. “Why are you here then? You made it perfectly clear you didn’t want to see me earlier today.”
Sighing, I sit at the edge of his bed. I think carefully about what to say, but as I look into his deep brown eyes, I realize he needs the truth. “It’s not because I didn’t want to see you, Carter.” He moves up in the bed and I confess, “I didn’t know if you wanted to see me, and honestly I was more afraid than anything. And I’m here because your brothers, and some chick named Bethany are worried about you.” I point to the now empty liquor bottle conveying what I mean. “Obviously, they have a reason to be concerned.”
“They need to stay out of my business and leave me alone. I didn’t ask for their help or yours for that matter.”
I shift a leg onto the bed, and I don’t miss Carter’s gaze as he watches me do so. “I know you didn’t ask for my help, but I’m here now. So you can stop with the asshole attitude because I’m not going anywhere.”
