I Can Explain

by Missy Johnson

  “Anyway,” she says, wrapping her arms around me, “let’s move on. Okay?”

  “No,” I say, not wanting to leave things like that. “Look, this has nothing to do with how hard you work or who deserves it more. Trust me.”

  “What do you mean?” she asks, confused.

  I sigh and sit down, gulping down my wine. The only way for her to understand this has nothing to do with her is to tell her the whole sad and sorry story.

  “You know how I went out the other night with Jake?” I say, my voice small.

  “And didn’t call me right away,” she accuses. “Too busy getting down and dirty, huh?” She reaches over and slaps me on the arm, a big grin on her face.

  “Sorry about that, and no. You’ll understand in a moment,” I add, when she goes to speak. “So, we ended up back at his place, only before anything really happened, his wife came home.”

  “His wife? Dude, you didn’t tell me he was married,” she hisses, her eyes wide with horror.

  “I didn't know,” I retort. “If I had known, you know I’d never have gone out with him in the first place. Anyway, that isn't the point. He pushed me out onto his balcony—in my underwear—and locked me outside.”

  “Fucking asshole,” she rages, her dark eyes flashing.

  “Oh, it gets even worse,” I say in a grim voice. “I jumped one apartment over, because I figured if anyone was going to catch me, I was better off with it being a complete stranger, rather than his wife. Right?”

  “Totally,” Peyton agrees. “So, what happened? You knocked on some rando’s window?”

  “That was my plan.” I cringe, just thinking about it. “But that rando turned out to be Chase Winston. So, there I was, on his balcony. In my underwear. In the rain. At six in the fucking morning,” I say.

  She stares at me in shock and then laughs. “You knocked on our boss’s window, in your underwear?” she gasps, between fits of laughter. Her eyes are so wide she looks almost comical. “Oh, Lanna! What did he do?”

  “He let me in,” I say. I shudder, remembering the moment he realized it was me. “He was so amused by the whole thing, and I think he loved the fact that I was so embarrassed. I asked for a shirt to cover myself up, and he gave me something that wouldn’t fit even you,” I say, eyeing her tiny, petite frame enviously.

  “And now you think that's what this promotion is all about?” she asks, confused. “Because you turned up on his balcony in your underwear?”

  “I'm sure of it. Between that and last week, he probably thinks I’m an easy score.” I frown. God knows what this promotion entails. Between the blow job talk and the free peep show, he’s probably wondering what he can get if he pays me more.

  “If you really believe that, then why not just say no?” she asks. Her eyes narrow. A smile creeps across her face as she reaches over and slaps my leg again. “Ah, I get it. It’s because you like the idea of him wanting you like that, don’t you?”

  I open my mouth, ready to argue, and then close it.

  “Fine, maybe I do, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to set myself up for disappointment,” I argue.

  “What do you mean? Are you worried about him hurting you?” she asks.

  I snort. “God no. I know the type of guy he is. That part is fine. I’m scared that I’ll get my hopes up about this promotion leading somewhere, when he has no intention of letting that happen.”

  “So, talk to him about it. If he’s so sure you’re an easy lay, he’ll probably agree to whatever terms you throw at him.”

  I think about that for a second. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I can bargain with him. I just want the chance to prove to him that I can be an asset to him in a business sense and not just run around him in circles, like a lapdog. I glance at Peyton, feeling bad for describing the job like that.

  “You really think I can do that?” I ask her, hesitating.

  She nods encouragingly. “Just keep your head above water and remember why you’re doing this. You’ll be fine, as long as you don’t get caught up in his charms,” she assures me.

  “I can assure you I have no intention of letting him get under my skin,” I say with a laugh. “I mean, sure he’s attractive, rich, and he has the ability to make me feel like I’m standing in front of him, naked—”

  “Because you know, that’s what you’re known for now,” Peyton cuts in with a giggle. I glower at her and then continue.

  “As I was saying, I can think of a thousand other gorgeous guys I could be with who’d be much less trouble.” I say. Peyton raises her eyebrows, as if she doesn’t quite believe me.

  Hell, I’m not sure I even believe it myself.

  The biggest problem is that I don't know if I can be that close to him every single day and not give in if he made a move on me. And here I go again, thinking that he’s even interested in me like that. I bet this is nothing more than a game for him. I’m just another chick throwing myself at him, only I’m more creative about it than most. He probably fired Jade, just so we could mess with my head some more.

  “Still not convinced?” Peyton asks.

  “I'm just not sure that it's worth losing my sanity over,” I say honestly.

  “What do you mean? It's a great opportunity for you. Isn’t this why you’re still here? Hoping for a chance like this to pop up?”

  “But that’s just it,” I argue. “This isn’t a chance to further my career. He doesn't see potential in me. He sees a chance of getting himself some action. I’m sure that’s all this is. His way of trying to work his way between my legs.”

  “What you’re describing wouldn’t really be that bad,” Peyton smirks. I roll my eyes.

  “You know what I mean,” I say. “I don't want to get my hopes up and think this could actually go somewhere for my career and then have it fizzle into nothing.”

  “But you don't know until you try. If you’re right, and this is all just to get you into bed, then you can sue him for sexual harassment and make millions anyway,” she says with a sly grin.

  I chuckle because I know she's only half joking.

  “I guess I don't have much to lose,” I say slowly.

  She’s right. I can look at this however I want to. As an opportunity to further my career, with the added bonus of getting closer to Chase, or I can psych myself out so much that I decline his offer.

  “Okay,” I say, my heart pounding. “I’ll do it.”

  “Good,” Peyton says with a nod. “Now, where’s your phone?”

  “Why?” I ask, confused.

  “Because now that you’ve made up your mind, you’re calling him before you change it again.”

  I scowl at her, and she grins back at me. “I know you, Alana. You’ll have talked yourself out of this by morning if you don't set it in stone now. Am I wrong?”

  “Okay,” I grumble, poking my tongue out at her.

  Maybe there’s some truth to what she’s saying. I grab my phone. My hands shake as I dial his number. I’m praying that he doesn't answer, but, of course, he does.

  “Hello,” his smooth voice comes down the line.

  My heart thumps. I think about hanging up, but instead, I swallow my anxieties and force myself to speak.

  “Fine. I'll do it.”

  “Well, that’s great,” he says. “They’re my favorite words to hear from a woman. Now, would you mind being more specific, starting with who you are?” I open my mouth, not sure how to respond to that. “Relax, Alana. I’m joking,” he chuckles.

  Asshole.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say stiffly.

  “No, you’ll see me tonight, actually,” he replies. “I need you to go to my office and grab the Fletcher files for me and deliver them to my apartment. You remember where I live, right?”

  “You know damn well I do,” I growl, my face heating.

  “Good, then I’ll let the doorman know you’ll be in. I’ll see you soon.”

  He hangs up. I stare at my phone, in shock over what just happened. How
did I agree to that? Is that what this is going to be like—being on call at all hours?

  The plan was to call him and set this thing in stone, so I’d have the weekend to get used to the idea of working so closely to him. I certainly wasn’t expecting him to put me to work now.

  “How did it go?” Peyton asks impatiently.

  “I’m, uh, I’m going over to his place.” I swallow, my throat as rough as sandpaper. “Now.”

  “Now?” she cries.

  “He wants me to collect a file from his office and deliver it to him,” I explain.

  “Then tell him to call an Uber,” Peyton retorts, waving her hand. “Surely, he can’t expect you to be on call twenty-four-seven, can he?” she asks. “You’re going over there and you’re going to set some boundaries. He’s seeing how far he can bend you.” She narrows her eyes when I flush. “Figuratively speaking, Alana.”

  “So, what do I do?” I ask helplessly.

  She smiles. “Use this to your advantage.”

  “What do you mean?” I say. I have no idea how to do that.

  “He wants you to work for him, and he’s testing your boundaries, so test his right back. Push his limits. Ask for more money or an even bigger promotion. Forget an internship. Ask him to hire you as a permanent junior analyst.”

  “But that’s the thing. He has a team who have been there for years. He doesn’t even hire junior analysts. Only people who have years and years of experience,” I say with a frown. An internship is my best way to get into something that even comes close to matching my qualifications.

  “So? The worst he’ll say is no, so then you say okay, give me an internship. But imagine if he agreed?” she says. “You’d be in, Lanna.”

  My heart races as I think about what she’s suggesting.

  There’s no way he’d agree to that…would he?

  Chapter Eight

  Chase

  I really did need the files.

  Sure, I could've gone over there myself to get them or called a twenty-four-hour courier service, but it’s so much more fun making her do it. That and she probably thinks that this is all just a game to get her into bed. Maybe a part of me does want that, but this is also about recognizing when one of my staff is unhappy and seeing how far they’ll go to get what they want.

  I pour myself a drink and wait for her to arrive with the files. I’m impressed when it takes her less than half an hour to get from her place to the office and then to my apartment. I’m standing at the door, leaning against the frame when she exits the lift. She flushes when she sees me. I smirk back. She doesn’t need to know I’ve been standing like this, waiting, for the last ten minutes.

  “Sorry, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to use the door or the balcony again,” I tease her. She scowls at me and steps forward, pressing the file firmly against my chest. Then, she steps back to examine me. “Thanks,” I say. I saunter back inside and over to the kitchen, tossing the files onto the counter. “It turns out I didn’t need them so urgently, after all.”

  “Why doesn’t that shock me,” she mutters. She shakes her head, looking like she’s about to say something, but then reconsiders, biting back her words.

  “Since you’re here,” I motion for her to come inside. “How about we discuss the terms of your promotion now?”

  “That sounds great, actually,” she says. I raise my eyebrows as she walks inside, closing the door behind her. She takes a seat on my couch, while I watch her thoughtfully. “Because I have a few conditions of my own that I would like to bring up.”

  I don’t bother trying to hide my amusement. Instead I just straight out chuckle, which seems to infuriate her.

  “Drink?” I ask her.

  She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t want to make this feel like anything other than a business meeting,” she replies evenly.

  “Why else would you be at my apartment after hours, if not for business?” I murmur. She flushes at that comment. “So,” I continue, “you mentioned you had conditions?”

  “I want you to hire me as a junior analyst.”

  I stare at her, admiring her confidence, and then I shrug.

  “Sorry. I don’t do them.”

  “So, make an exception.”

  “I’m not letting you pick and choose your position at my company, Alana,” I say, frowning. “I’m offering you an executive assistant position.”

  “Which you must realize isn’t something I’m interested in doing for you, long term,” I argue.

  “I’m not sure if you understand how this boss slash employee thing works, but you probably shouldn’t alert me to the fact that you’re not loyal to your position,” I reply. I’m trying to keep the amusement out of my voice, but it’s hard.

  “I’ve been working for you for two years. I’ve showed my loyalty,” she says. She’s standing her ground. I like that. A lot. “I’m being honest with you about what I want out of this.”

  I sigh. “Okay. How about this? You prove to me you can handle being my assistant for a month, and I’ll consider allowing you to join the analytics department—on an internship.”

  “Consider?” she repeats, raising her eyebrows.

  I chuckle. “Fine. I’ll offer you an internship.”

  She hesitates. “I also want to be clear about something else. I’m not here to be your new toy. I’ll do whatever you ask me to, but if you step over the line, I’m done.”

  “And what exactly would constitute that?” I ask calmly. “Me arriving on your doorstep in my underwear? Or maybe announcing to the office how badly I want to lick your pussy?”

  Her eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. I smile, because that was exactly the reaction I was going for. She quickly recovers and presses her lips together. She glowers at me, before standing and stalking to the door.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Winston,” she says, her voice stiff.

  “I’m looking forward to it,” I grin.

  I watch her disappear down the hallway, my eyes focused firmly on her ass. I'm so distracted that I don't hear the sound of my phone ringing at first. It stops by the time I race over to answer it. I frown when I see Josh’s name and call him back.

  “Sorry, I was busy.” I shut the door and wander into the kitchen and pour myself a drink. “What’s up?”

  “Can I drop past? I’m literally outside your place right now.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I say, not sure what he wants, especially so late in the evening. “Come on up.”

  I end the call and walk over to the living room window, where I can see him disappearing into the lobby. I wait a few minutes and then walk to the door. I open it, just as he appears from the elevator.

  “Can I get you a drink?” I ask him as he walks inside.

  He shakes his head as I close the door behind him.

  “I can’t stay. I’m meeting…” His voice trails off. He doesn't need to say it. He’s meeting his fiancée.

  My ex-wife.

  “What did you want to talk to me about, then?” I ask.

  “I just wanted to check in and make sure that you’re still okay with coming to the wedding? It’s kind of getting close, so we’re confirming all the details.” He pauses for a moment. “Will you, uh, be bringing anyone along?”

  “Yes,” I respond, taking a mouthful of drink. Is that why he’s here? To scope out whether I’m coming alone or with a date? Which would he consider worse? He waits patiently for me to elaborate, but I don’t.

  “Are you seeing someone, then?” he asks.

  I nod. “You’ll love her. Maybe if things with Casey don’t work out, you can steal her from me too?” Josh frowns at me. I flash him a smile. “I’m kidding.”

  “Not funny,” he retorts. “I forgot how messed up your sense of humor can be. If you’re really seeing someone, she must be pretty special to put up with your shit. I can’t wait to meet her.” He glances at his watch and makes a face. “I have to go.”

  “Okay. Thanks for stopping by,” I say, still not e
ntirely sure what the reasoning behind his visit is. I follow him to the door. He turns around.

  “What did you say your girlfriend’s name was? For the seating arrangements,” he quickly adds.

  “Her name?” I repeat. He nods.

  “Alana,” I say calmly.

  Chapter Nine

  Alana

  I sit at my kitchen table and gulp down the last of my coffee, then I stand up and put the cup in the dishwasher. I’m feeling buzzed, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because I’ve had my daily caffeine limit in the last two hours alone. I’ve been up since five, because I was too nervous and excited to sleep. Things are finally starting to happen and it’s only taken me two years to get there. This time in two short weeks, I’ll be working in the analytics department.

  I just have to get through working for Chase first.

  The job itself doesn’t make me nervous, but Chase sure as hell does. Sometimes I wish I could just flip everything up on itself and be the one that’s in control. He intimidates me so much that I just don’t know how to make that happen. I hate how he can completely mess up my entire train thought just by flashing one of his smiles. The thought of working closely with him is mildly terrifying.

  I probably won’t even be around him that much. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. My office is far enough away from his that I’ll be able to escape when I need to. The reality is, things aren’t going to be much different than they were before. I’ll even still get to see Peyton every day. The only difference is that I’ll technically be her boss.

  By the time I arrive at the office, my nerves have all but disappeared—until I walk into my office and see my desk isn’t there. I frown and turn around. Peyton, who is already at her desk smiles weakly at me.

  “They moved it out about ten minutes ago,” she explains. “I guess he decided to shake things up a bit?”

  I nod grimly. “I guess he did.”

  I give her a quick smile and then march across the hall to Chase’s office.

  Sure enough, when I walk in, there my desk, with my things packed neatly in a box next to it. The thing about Chase's office is that it was originally designed to be just like it is now, with his assistant right outside. I’ve never seen it set up that way, though. It’s always been Jade, in with us and this room set up as a waiting area, complete with an oversized couch and a coffee table. The couch and coffee table are gone, replaced with two modest chairs and a small plant. Chase walks out of his office, smirking when he sees me.