My Earl the Spy

by Audrey Harrison

  The buzzing eventually stopped, but pain ripped through her body. She had no idea what was happening, only that it hurt. The pain soon passed though, and she felt safe again and comfortable; she had not felt comfortable in the blackness; it had just been easier to stay there than to fight it.

  Something had changed. It almost felt as if she was rising to the surface of some weighty substance that had been pushing her down. Now though, she was being drawn upwards, only she was not sure if she had the strength to reach the top, wherever that was.

  Milly slowly opened her eyes, her lids feeling unnaturally heavy. At first she thought there was just more blackness, but after blinking her eyes and focusing, she saw that she was in a bed in the dead of night. The fire in the grate opposite the bed was very low, hardly casting any light into the room. It must be hours since the fire was last attended to.

  It seemed right to be wrapped in Henry’s arms. She had known they were his arms even before she opened her eyes. No one or anything else had ever made her feel so secure, so completely embraced than when she had been in Henry’s arms.

  She sighed as her eyes continued to move around the room. It was a strange room; she had no idea where she was but, as long as Henry was by her side, nothing else mattered.

  Drifting back into sleep, she was determined that the next time she woke, she would touch his arms.

  Henry awoke with a start. There had been a change. He wondered if someone had come into the room, but he could detect no movement. Clara had been true to her word by not disturbing him, only sending a maid to deliver food and restock the fire. The maid had not reacted to see the visitor lying on the bed, only partially dressed; she was either very experienced or very discreet.

  No, no one had entered the room since then. He listened to try to work out what had disturbed his slumber. After a moment, the realization of what had changed made him smile, something he had not done in days. Her breathing was deeper, not the shallower gasping breath it had been when he had first arrived, but the deeper, more healthy sound of someone in a contented slumber.

  Something had happened; whether the fever had broken, he had no idea, and he did not care. She was more stable, of that he was sure, and he would do everything in his power to help with her recovery.

  Closing his eyes, Henry slipped back into sleep, more content with the knowledge that somehow she was coming back to him. The smile on his face did not fade even when he was overcome with the heavier breaths of deep sleep.

  Milly awoke once more. This time it was movement rather than sound that had disturbed her. Henry was moving away from her; he was trying to slide his arms from under her without disturbing her.

  “No,” she moaned, but it came out as nothing more than a croak, her throat was so parched.

  Henry stopped as soon as he heard the noise. “Milly?” he whispered, afraid he had misheard.

  Milly moved her hand. Everything took so much effort that the movement was slow and laborious, but Henry waited, unmoving to see what she did. What felt like an eternity passed before Milly finally reached his arm, and she squeezed the limb. “Don’t go,” she croaked.

  Henry smiled and kissed her head. “Welcome back, my darling darling girl. I’m only moving to ring for some refreshment and to wash myself. I don’t want to face you not looking my best. You might think I’ve lost my handsome features.”

  Milly’s lips turned up in a small smile, but she did not try to stop Henry when he started to slowly move again. He was talking to her all the time, kissing her head between words. She closed her eyes, content that he would stay near.

  When Henry reached the fireside, he almost pulled the rope off its mechanism he pulled it so hard. He realised it might have given the wrong impression when he heard the thud of footsteps running up the stairs. Clara was first through the door, followed closely by the maid and housekeeper.

  Henry held his hand up to stop any outburst and indicated that they should leave the room. He followed them and, although he left the door slightly open, he pulled it to. “She’s conscious,” he said, surprising himself when tears sprang into his eyes when he uttered the words.

  “Thank God!” Clara said, herself looking fit to collapse with relief.

  “I want to stay with her. She didn’t want me to leave her, and I promised I would return soon. I just need to freshen up, and then I’ll rejoin her.”

  “Use my dressing room,” Clara said, immediately becoming practical. She turned to the housekeeper. “Mrs Bates, we need water for his Lordship and a change of shirt from my husband’s wardrobe. We need food and drink, include a little for Milly; I’m sure she won’t take much, if anything, but we can always hope.”

  Orders despatched, she led Henry into the bedchamber and through to the dressing room. They both looked at Milly as they passed the bed, but there was no sign she was awake.

  “I’ll sit with her until you have finished your ablutions,” Clara said. “Take your time.”

  “There’s no chance of that. Every moment away from her is a moment wasted,” Henry said before closing the door on his hostess.

  Clara walked over to the sleeping Milly and gently touched her hand. It felt warmer than it had the previous day, but it was not too warm. For the first time since Milly had been brought to the house, Clara felt a normal temperature.

  Milly moved slightly at the touch. “Henry?” she croaked.

  Clara leaned over and kissed her cousin’s forehead. “No, it’s Clara, but Henry will be here soon, my sweet. He’s not gone far. I am so glad to hear your voice again, Milly. We were so worried about you.”

  “Sorry.”

  “It wasn’t your fault. Henry and Edmund said you were so brave, saving that man,” Clara said, gently pushing Milly’s hair away from her face. She would give up the role of nurse to Henry; it was clear he had done something that had brought Milly back to them, for which she would be eternally grateful but, for now, she needed to be in physical contact with her cousin; it was almost as if she did not quite believe that Milly had come back to them. “I can’t imagine how frightening it was in those days in that prison.”

  “Henry saved me,” Milly licked her cracked lips, trying to get moisture on them to make her voice clearer.

  Clara put a damp cloth against Milly’s lips, so she could have a few drops of liquid; she did not wish to overwhelm Milly’s stomach after days of having nothing at all. “It seemed he’s done it twice then, as I’m convinced his being here helped bring you back to us.”

  “Back to him,” Milly said quietly with a little smile.

  Clara squeezed Milly’s hand. “I understand.”

  Henry entered the bedchamber feeling slightly fresher. He would have liked to have a shave, but a lady’s dressing room had no equipment, so his stubble would have to wait. Leaving his braces hanging at his waist, he walked to the bed. “How’s the patient?”

  “Drifting in and out of sleep. She seems very tired,” Clara responded.

  “She’s had a hard time of it. I’ll get something to eat; my own appetite is finally returning; I’ve hardly eaten for days.”

  Henry tucked into the feast set out on a small table in front of the chaise longue. When he had eaten his fill he made some of the softer food into a mush type substance and poured some beer into a cup. He brought the bowl and cup round to the side of the bed. “When she wakes I’m going to try to and get her to eat and drink something.”

  “Good. I’ll leave you once more, but I don’t want Milly thinking it isn’t because I don’t care. There is nowhere I would rather be than by her side, but I know she wants you here.”

  Henry smiled. “Thank you. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

  Clara left the room, and Henry sat on the chair next to the bed. He wanted nothing more than to clamber onto the covers and gather Milly in his arms again, but he could not be so selfish. She had to be cared for properly, and he was going to make sure she had everything she needed.

  Milly’s eyes fluttered,
and she was reassured to see Henry close by. She was going to return to sleep, but he touched her arm gently.

  “Do you think you could drink something?”

  “No. Sleep,” she croaked.

  Henry smiled, “I never had you down as disobedient. I need you to try to drink something; your body needs sustenance.”

  Milly was lifted gently so her head was propped on Henry’s arm while he fed her small amounts of the beer. When she could take no more she lay her head to the side, nestling into his shoulder.

  “Milly, it is going to be difficult to get anything done when you are like this; all I want to do is stay in bed with you.”

  Milly smiled slightly, her eyes already closing in sleep. “Stay in bed,” she whispered.

  Henry kissed her head. “Of course, whatever you want, my darling.”

  Chapter 21

  Edmund found Clara in the drawing room writing a letter. She put down the quill when her husband entered and turned to greet him. “Lord Grinstead is hoping to persuade Milly to eat and drink something. He is turning into the perfect nurse!”

  Edmund looked a little concerned. “Until he loses interest. I’ve seen it happen before, although not under quite the same circumstances.”

  “Don’t be so harsh! He seems to dote on her.”

  “Remember the Henry we knew before all this? He wouldn’t be seen within ten miles of a sick bed. He probably feels guilty that he involved your cousin in his irresponsible schemes,” Edmund responded, believing the cold, hard Henry to never be far from the surface. He had seen Henry turn on the charm when needed; he presumed one of those occasions was happening here.

  “He should feel guilty. He was wrong to involve her, but it does seem as if he’s making amends. I truly believe his being beside her helped her regain consciousness.”

  “That says more about your cousin’s feelings than Grinstead’s,” Edmund pointed out.

  “The only way to prove it to you is to show you what he is like with her. We’ll visit tonight. I did promise to leave them alone today; I don’t think constant comings and goings would do Milly any good.”

  *

  Edmund walked into his wife’s bedchamber and paused mid-stride. Henry was sitting on the side of the bed near the window, a pillow on his lap. Milly had her head resting on the pillow while Henry gently brushed Milly’s hair.

  Henry looked up and indicated that Edmund and Clara should remain silent. He gently removed himself from underneath Milly and, kissing her head, he moved away. He probably should not be so openly affectionate in front of everyone, but he really did not care what anyone else thought.

  “How is she?” Clara whispered when Henry approached them.

  “Falling in and out of sleep constantly. She has eaten something and continues to drink, so I’m happy about her progress. I’d like you to take a look at her wound. When I first arrived, you told me it was angry and swollen; I think check it before sending for the doctor unnecessarily, if it is improving, we’ll just continue with what we are doing at the moment.”

  “If you both leave me, I shall have a look,” Clara said, moving over to Milly.

  Henry and Edmund left the bedchamber softly closing the door behind them.

  “I never had you for a nurse,” Edmund opened the conversation.

  “Nor I,” Henry admitted.

  “When do you intend leaving us?”

  “Do you wish me to leave? Are you still upset with me about what happened in Dorset?” Henry asked, a little surprised. Edmund had been as angry as he had ever seen him when he thought Clara was in danger, but that time had passed and was never going to occur again.

  “No! Although I will curse you for it until my dying day,” Edmund admitted. “I just presumed you would be wishing to return to the social whirl that is your life.”

  Henry’s expression was unreadable, but he glanced at the door as if he could see through the wood into the bedroom beyond. “I’d like to stay, if it’s all the same to you.”

  “Don’t give her false hope. It wouldn’t be fair.”

  “I think you’ll find it’s the other way around.”

  “How so?” Edmund asked in surprise at the words.

  “I’m the fool who asked her to marry me, and she turned me down.”

  “I’m only a little surprised at that; I always thought Miss Holland was no one’s fool.”

  “Thanks for the glowing recommendation,” Henry said drily. “I’m almost glad she’s incapacitated; that way she can’t send me away, and I can delay the inevitability of never seeing her again.”

  “Only you could find a positive in a life and death situation!”

  “You know what I mean. I’m fully aware that I’m a besotted fool just as you are.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to stay here, with your consent obviously, for as long as she’ll have me.”

  “Is it your intent to wear down her defences? I’d have to object if that’s your plan; the poor woman has been through enough. She doesn’t deserve the onslaught of Grinstead charm that I’ve been unfortunate enough to witness in the past.”

  “No one else has ever complained.”

  “I don’t think they realised what had hit them until you’d moved on to your next victim,” Edmund responded, enjoying actually having the upper hand with Henry for once.

  Henry smiled. “Everything’s different now.”

  “Until you tire of her.”

  “She said something similar once, and I believed at that time it was true, but even then I’m not sure how much was just my automatic reaction to life. The thought of being faithful and loving to one person was beyond my comprehension, but that woman in there has done something to me, and I don’t think I’ll ever recover if I can’t persuade her to marry me.”

  “Don’t put her under any pressure,” Edmund warned.

  “I won’t. My own pride won’t let me do that. If she is to marry me, it will be because she wants to, not because I want her to. I promise you that.”

  Edmund inclined his head to show he was reassured. Clara came out of the bedchamber preventing any further private conversation between the pair.

  “How is she?” Edmund asked.

  “Her wound is not as red or swollen as it was. It was leaking puss until yesterday, but now it has closed, and she is not is in as much pain when that area is touched. I think we can leave the doctor for now.”

  “Is she awake?” Henry asked, already opening the door.

  “Yes,” Clara responded and smiled at her husband. “He didn’t hear me at all, then, did he?”

  “No. I think the great Lord Grinstead has actually been brought to his knees by your cousin.”

  “I would expect nothing else. He’d better treasure her because only the best will do for my sweet Milly,” Clara said with feeling, linking her arm through her husband’s as they headed to their shared bedchamber.

  *

  It was a week before anything like Milly’s former strength returned and, even then, only partially. Henry had been persuaded to send home for the personal items he needed, although he refused the use of the room made available for him, still insisting on curling around her every night and sleeping in what was now an inappropriate situation.

  Henry certainly was not going to change the situation unless forced to, and Clara and Edmund did not wish Milly to suffer a relapse. She seemed so reliant on Henry that they worried about the time when the pair were parted, which seemed inevitable at some point.

  One morning before they were disturbed by the maid coming in to light the fire, Henry was still holding Milly, and he raised the subject of what had happened.

  “You shouldn’t have stepped in to save Mack,” he gently chided, lessening the tone of the words by kissing her head.

  “I couldn’t let him be killed; he had been so good to me in the circumstances. It wasn’t so bad in the first place I was held, but that second room,” Milly shuddered. “I couldn’t hav
e borne it without Mack’s help.”

  “He knew the risks; you could’ve been killed.”

  “But I wasn’t.”

  “Thank God,” Henry muttered into her hair. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had.”

  Milly kissed the arm that was encircling her. “I’m here and well.”

  “I know.”

  “What do you feel about Joshua now?” It was the first time his name had been mentioned since the fateful day.

  “Because of what happened to you, I didn’t consider the implications for a few days. When it sank in though, it just felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All those years trying to deliver what he deserved, and it finally happened.”

  “You did kill a man.”

  “I know and when I die I will face whatever retribution is dealt out, but for now I can only think that he got what he deserved. He had no remorse about what he had done to her or anyone else. Goodness knows how many lives he destroyed as he went through life without a conscience.

  “A bit like you and your spying?” Milly asked. She was fully aware of how Henry had used people.

  Henry paused. There were similarities between himself and Joshua, and he did not like to reflect on it. “I’ve done things I’m no longer proud of, but the difference is that I was doing most things for King and country, and revenging Mabel of course.” Henry sighed into Milly’s hair. “I hope I’m a better man than he is, but I’m not the one to be the judge of that.”

  “You are,” Milly reassured him. “The way you helped me when we were confined, I will never forget.”

  “You are a strong person, Milly. You were coping well without me, Mack told me that.”

  “Maybe, but more so when you are nearby.”

  Milly was feeling stronger physically, but mentally her thoughts ranged from completely content when she was wrapped in Henry’s embrace to desolate when she considered leaving Edmund’s house, and she knew that she had to.

  One morning when Henry returned to the bedchamber, he was surprised to see Milly sitting at the small Davenport desk that was in the bay window overlooking the square in the street.