A Mess of a Man

by A. M. Hargrove

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she says.

  I blink, feeling my jaw slacken as I grope for words to dissuade her.

  She purses her lips. “I can see you really didn’t plan on asking me to stay?”

  Honesty wins out over reason as I nod.

  “Oh,” she says.

  I watch as she obviously expects me to give her another answer. She walks back in the house and her curves wake my cock.

  Watching her leave catapults me out of my stupor. I leave the deck and catch up with her in the kitchen.

  “Sam, I didn’t mean that. Come, let’s get back in bed. I want you to stay.”

  When she faces me as she yanks her clothes from the floor, I can see I’ve pissed her off.

  “Ben, this is never going to work unless we are honest with each other. Besides, I have to go to work in the morning, as do you. I’m more than okay with going home tonight.”

  I reach out and pull her to me. “Stay.”

  Not giving her a chance to respond, I take her mouth as I weave my fingers in her hair.

  “Stay,” I say again, walking her back to my bedroom.

  She eventually relents and lets me lose my mind inside her again. I rush through clean up, afraid she’ll bolt, and find myself pulling her close. Her bottom fits against me as I wrap a possessive arm around her.

  The next day I wake up from one of the most peaceful night’s sleep that I’ve had in a long time. Most nights some version of Drew in his final days haunts me. I reach out and find air and the spot next to me is cold. After a quick investigation, Sam must’ve left sometime during the night as dawn has yet to arrive. I’m annoyed that I’m annoyed she’s gone.

  I go through the motions and end up at work before the sky shifts to blue from its inky blackness. My desk phone begins to light up as I read the headline story of a fake hedge fund manager who siphoned money from his investors for personal use. It’s going to be a long day as I put my headphones on to start taking calls from worried clients. Luckily, my father has seen the story and has already determined that we haven’t invested any of our clients’ money in that hedge fund.

  I’m dragged into an impromptu meeting to determine how we will communicate with our clients. We’ve already had several companywide that wanted to pull their money out of fear. Luckily, my portfolio of investors has been placated so far.

  When my dad pokes his head in the door, I almost growl until I realize it’s him.

  “Benjamin, I’m busy with the fallout from this scandal. I need you to see to a client of mine at two o’clock. Actually, my client passed away and the trust has been reverted to her grandchild. We need to secure this account. So do whatever you have to do to ensure they don’t move to another firm.”

  Before I can ask any further questions he’s gone. I check the time and it’s half after one. I have no idea how we currently have this client’s trust invested. I sit at my desk and send an e-mail to Dad and his assistant requesting the information.

  Not too long after, my computer signals an incoming email. And thanks to Trudy, Dad’s trusty assistant, I won’t be flying blind. Luckily, after reviewing, I find the portfolio mix is similar to another client of mine. I can play off that until I find out more.

  I sit back in my chair and absently pick up my phone. Somehow I find myself thumbing through my pictures. When a snapshot of Samantha comes up, my thumb hovers. She’s stunning in her bikini top. She didn’t know I took the picture on the boat and I’d forgotten about it after the way the date ended.

  Her breasts are heaven sent and my dick leaps to life. My eyes close and I remember what she felt like when I was inside her. A knock at my door comes and I see Lisa standing in the doorway.

  I sit up and scoot to the desk to hide my bulging erection.

  “Your two o’clock is here.”

  She steps aside and a man walks in. I have no choice but to stand. I lean over the desk to shake his hand.

  “Ben Rhoades.”

  The guy’s eyes trail down and I know he’s checking me out.

  “Well, Ben, it seems you’re happy to see me.”

  “Um,” I stammer, not sure what to say.

  It isn’t often I get hit on by a man. And this time it’s a client I need to secure.

  “Tongue tied?” He winks. “I get that a lot. I’m Horace. Horace Winston.”

  It’s not lost on me he’s still holding my hand. I gently tug it free.

  “Nice to meet you, Horace.”

  The name is an old-fashioned one and doesn’t actually suit him. If he hadn’t thrown me off with the blatant come on, I might have laughed or joked about it.

  We sit and all thoughts of Sam have fled. My dick relaxes back into position.

  “I have to tell you, it feels good to be free.”

  My only response is an arched brow. I feel like a therapist all of a sudden and believe I should just keep my mouth shut and figure this guy out.

  “Yes, the old biddy is dead and I can finally live my life.”

  “You mean your grandmother.”

  He nods. “I had to pretend to get engaged.” He groans. “Not that I don’t enjoy Cecily. We’ve been dating since high school and, well, she’s great. You, on the other hand, are more my speed.”

  I shake my head briskly. “Nothing wrong with being with who you want, but I’m into women.” I pause and then mutter under my breath. “Maybe too much.”

  It’s his turn to turn a questioned brow my way. “It’s hard to come out. Especially if your family has certain expectations, but you don’t have to lie to me.”

  I laugh, because what else can I do. “No, honestly, I was looking at her picture when you showed up.”

  Leaning towards him, I flash him my phone screen where Sam’s sexy image still graces it.

  “Oh.” He purses his lips. “Too bad. She is quite nice. Not my type though.”

  “Your type. I thought you were into guys.”

  He shrugs. “When you’re in my situation, you learn that in the dark, a hole is a hole, especially if the woman has a lot less going on up top than your girl. A woman like that can help the imagination go where it wants to go.”

  Something about this guy has me asking an inappropriate question. “And your fiancée? Are you planning on telling her?”

  “I don’t know. Cecily is great. I’ve tried to get her to accept the truth many times because I do love her, just not enough to give up on pursuing other options. But we get along well enough. She’s convinced that I’m confused. In fact she’s encouraged me to try out other relationships before I make any decisions.”

  I can’t come up with an appropriate response, so I lift my shoulders in a shrug.

  “I know, right? She’s a great girl. But …”

  I almost hate to ask, but it’s as if he needs a friend to unload on. I need his business, and oddly enough he’s fairly easy to talk to.

  “But?”

  He sighs. “The one guy I’m interested in won’t leave his girlfriend. He likes women. Hell, he likes me to go all she-male on him before I blow my load in him.”

  And then there is such a thing as too much information. I press two fingers on opposite sides of my temples and try not to laugh.

  “Yeah, I’m the one that can be your girlfriend and boyfriend too. You should give it a try.”

  Laughing, I shake my head. “Thanks for the offer.”

  He waves a hand. “It’s okay. Never hurts to ask. Anyway, I had plans to move my money from this ultraconservative firm. But I like you.” He winks. “Tell me how you can make my money grow and expand.” The innuendo isn’t lost on me and I have to chuckle.

  We talk shop for a solid half an hour and he’s pretty in tune with how he wants his money invested. After he signs on the dotted line, I’m able to report to Dad that I’ve done my job and made an interesting friend of sorts.

  My high from winning a client plummets when I get a call from my potential client letting me know he won’t be maki
ng any changes with his investments due to the news involving the hedge fund scandal. Even though I’ve assured him our company hadn’t been involved in any way, it’s a lost cause that leaves me drained.

  Jeff and Mark are busy when I decide I need air and a break from the office. I stroll out of the building and pull out my phone. Scrolling through my contacts, I automatically search for Drew. He was the only one who truly understood the relationship between my father and me. I know Dad wants the best for me. He just doesn’t believe I’m the best. And I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove my worth. Winning a client I had in New York would prove to him that I hadn’t left because of failure, but by choice.

  Hastily, I shove the phone back in my pocket feeling my mood sour even more. When I turn the corner, I spot the doctor who’s been around Cate a few times.

  “Ben,” Cate’s friend says.

  “Hey, Mercer.”

  “Have you seen Cate lately?”

  His question makes me feel worse than shit. I haven’t been doing my job for Drew very well these days and the guy’s accusatory glare is confirmation enough.

  “Not in the last few days,” I mutter. “But what’s that to you?”

  Protectiveness overtakes me and I wonder what the good doctor and Cate have going on.

  “Can I ask you a question?” His words aren’t a request.

  “What’s that?”

  “Is something going on between you two. She’s never really explained her relationship with you other than you were Drew’s best friend.”

  I frown. “Me and Cate.” I shake my head. “She’s like my little sister. That would be …” I cringe feeling my face pinch in disgust. “Yeah, no, never will happen.”

  “Oh.” The guy’s face brightens, then dims. “Do you have a problem with her dating me?”

  No one can take Drew’s place, but Drew would want me to reassure the guy. He wanted Cate to find someone.

  “Not as long as she wants to and you make her happy.”

  His next words are a total surprise. “I’m falling in love with her.”

  I take his measure differently. The few times I’d met him, she’d made it clear they were just friends. Jenna hadn’t said anything different. “Wow, that’s fast.”

  “Maybe. We may have only started dating a little over a month ago, but we’ve been friends for a while. And she’s easy to love.”

  “Make her happy, man. She deserves that and more.”

  When he leaves, I actually hope he wins her over. Cate deserves someone like him.

  Back at the office, the sun has long since gone when Jeff pops his head in my office. It’s a nightly ritual for him, so I’m not surprised by his appearance.

  “It’s been a shit day,” he complains.

  “That it has. The bad guys always seem to ruin it for the rest of us good guys.”

  “Good guys?” he scoffs, falling into one of the chairs in front of my desk. “I doubt any of the women in this town would call you good except maybe your event planner. Did you nail her last night after your little show in the parking lot?” I scowl at him. “Don’t bother answering. You look a little lighter, like gravity doesn’t have a complete hold on you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that since you blew your load, you’re light on your feet.”

  I can’t stop the chuckle. “You are something else,” I say evading the question, not sure I’m pissed or amused.

  “You want to go out for drinks?” I shake my head. His eyes go wide. “Are you pussy whipped already?”

  “Who said I slept with her?”

  Mark’s voice comes out of nowhere as he steps into the room. “I told you, Jeff, she’s not like that.”

  It’s my turn to be surprised. “How do you know her?” Even I can hear the predator in the tone of my voice.

  “Her parents live down the street from my dad.”

  “You ever hook up with her?”

  Mark’s face pinches. “No.” He waves me off. “She wasn’t even in high school when I was. But I heard things when I came home from college and they were all good. She’s the kind of girl you marry, not bang. So if you’re not in for the long haul, Ben, leave her alone.”

  After they leave, I pick up my phone several times only to put it down. Mark’s words haunt me like Drew’s ghost would have if he could. I’ve already fucked up and let my dick rule my actions. I can’t play fuck buddy games with someone like her. She’ll only get hurt in the end. Somehow, I need to let her go before things go too far.

  My decision made, I stay away from Sam for the rest of the week. Good girls aren’t in the cards for me. I have nothing to offer them. Even though she says she wants to play fuck buddies, I know how that usually ends up. Karen is the prime example of that.

  When Sam calls me from outside my office on a rainy Friday night after hours, I’m ready to say the things that need to be said.

  This is probably the ballsiest move I’ve ever made, but I have to do something. He hasn’t called all week, and I don’t know why. After the night we spent and the fireworks display that erupted over his bed, I can’t stop thinking about him. And I know he felt it, too. I want some more of Ben Rhoades and I’m willing to take this chance.

  My heart is pumping blood through my veins at light speed. I wish I had cruise control for my blood pressure because I totally need it right now.

  “Rhoades.” His voice is curt when he answers. Does that mean he doesn’t want to hear from me?

  “Ben, it’s Sam.”

  “Sam,” There’s a pause. “Hi. I was busy grabbing some contracts out of the printer and had my hands full so I couldn’t see the caller ID. How are you?”

  Thank God for that. I’m not sure what to make of him yet, but it sounds like at least he’s not put off by me. “I’m fine. How’s your week so far?”

  “From hell or worse.” He explains something about a hedge fund, which is purely Greek to me and I tell him.

  “All you need to know is that a lot of our clients had to be stroked, petted, and reassured all week that their money is safe and I lost a huge deal because of it.”

  “Aww, I’m terribly sorry. That sucks because it’s not like it was your fault.”

  “Thanks, but when it comes to money, people don’t care. They only want theirs protected. So what’s up?”

  “I was on my way home and I noticed your car in the parking lot on this yucky rainy Friday night, so I decided to stop and call.”

  “Wait. You’re downstairs?”

  I can almost feel his surprise leaping through the phone.

  “I’m in my car, but yeah.”

  There’s a long beat and I can imagine him running a hand through his gorgeous hair.

  “Come on up … that is if you want.”

  “On the way,” I say, not able to keep the grin off my face.

  He meets me at the entrance and stares at me for a long moment before he reaches for my hand. Contact. I feel like I can’t breathe when he guides me to his office. “This place is like a tomb,” I say.

  “Yeah, I’m the only one left. It’s been such an awful week, everyone took off earlier than usual, but I had some things I needed to finish up, so I’m the last one here.

  “Nice.”

  “Nice?”

  “Yes, Ben, nice,” and I wiggle my brows so he catches on.

  “Oh.” His lips round perfectly when he says the word. “I see, Ms. Calhoun. It appears you may have an ulterior motive here.”

  “That I do, but I have to say I’m a little confused.”

  “Confused?” he repeats.

  “You don’t call, you don’t write.” I say it in jest, though he knows I want an answer.

  His face hardens and I immediately realize I’ve said the wrong thing.

  “Yeah, about that. I think …”

  “And that’s your problem. You’re thinking too much.” I don’t want him to go into some fuck buddy explanation because I have a sinking
feeling that’s what he was going to. So I walk into his personal space and lean into him to run my tongue over the seam of his pinched lips. This is so not my style, but I’m willing to give it a shot. I pray he doesn’t push me away.

  “Sam.” He stops me and I would have felt rejected if not for the glazed eye look he’s giving me. “I’m pretty busy here if I expect to see my bed at all tonight. What did you have in mind?”

  “Do you really have to ask?” He smells so perfect that I shove my face into the crook of his neck to taste and inhale him into my every pore.

  “Fuck,” he mutters. When his arms circle my waist and his hands grip the cheeks of my ass, I know I’ve hit gold. “You really want to do this here, now?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Fine,” he grits. “There are rules, Sam. I have to know you understand that I’ll give you what you want, but that’s all I can give,” he whispers in my ear as I nibble on his neck.

  Leaning my head back a bit, I lock stares with him and see the pupils of his steel grays dilate slightly. His words are lost with the hardness of his cock against my belly lighting a fire below my waist. His tongue moistens his lower lip and then he takes my own between his teeth and bites down, not too hard but not too soft. He ends the bite with a tug as he pulls my lip into his mouth and sucks on it. When his tongue touches mine, I’m nearly unglued, but his hands pressing into the flesh of my ass keep me on my feet. One hand moves to my waist, holding me steady, while the other slips under the hem of my short skirt, to resume its hold on my ass. The way he grabs me, with his long fingers touching the most sensitive areas of my core, make me even slicker with need.

  I’m suddenly hoisted up as he turns me and sets me down on his glass top desk. There’s a question in his eyes, and I nod slightly, giving him the go ahead.

  For a second when he walks towards the door, I’m struck thinking he’s going to leave me there. Instead, he hits what looks like a light switch and the glass wall before me turns opaque.

  “Whoa,” I say in surprise as he closes the solid office door and locks it leaving us hidden. “I thought we were alone.”

  “Just to be sure.” His lids drop to half-staff as he makes his way back to me and says, “Lift up,” in a deep sex-driven voice.