Red Havoc Guardian (Red Havoc Panthers Book 4)

by T. S. Joyce

  Gen’s heart stuttered in her chest at the intensity in his eyes. No one had ever called her sexy before. She wasn’t a lithe white tiger shifter, or graceful flight shifter. She was a powerful female gorilla, and the boys in Damon’s Mountains hadn’t exactly been lining up to get in her panties. But without a shadow of a doubt, Grey meant what he was saying. He found her attractive.

  She didn’t like men being rough with her in general, but holy shit, she loved his firm grip on the back of her neck, forcing her to look at him right now. She gave a slow blink and a silly drunken smile right before he released her. Leaning back with a hot-boy smirk, Grey took a long sip of his drink, eyes never leaving hers. Losing her damn mind to hormones, Gen slid her hand to the inside of his thigh, and Grey’s reaction was to roll his eyes closed and rock his hips ever so slightly, encouraging her, and holy hell she’d never wanted to slide her hand down a man’s pants in public this badly.

  Gen’s phone vibrated with an alarm, letting her know it was time to take the laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer. And thank goodness for tiny blessings, because that alarm had just stopped her from going handsy-down-the-pantsy with Greyson McSexy Face.

  She could feel his eyes on her as she worked, and twice she dared glances at him to find her instincts were spot on. He didn’t even seem to care that she busted him staring. Grey was different from other men she’d been with. He was direct, confident, and didn’t play games. He said what he thought, no beating around the bush with this one. It was refreshing.

  Ben had told her she needed to leave, but with every second she spent with Grey, he became more interesting to her. More important. She didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, and it made her sad to think about leaving when there was such a bright spark between them. But for tonight, she was going to pretend they had eternity. She wanted to make believe she could keep him, but letting herself fall and trust like this after what had happened with the family group was terrifying.

  Be brave. For once, be fucking brave.

  Maybe it was reckless, and perhaps she and Grey didn’t have tomorrow—but today, Gen was going to let her guard down.

  Chapter Eight

  Grey was a bad boy, but a good man. Gen could tell. She liked that he was a good balance.

  When he made the sign for bird again, she covered her heated cheeks with her hands to hide her blush. They were walking to a fried chicken place a couple blocks down from the laundromat. Her bag of clothes was sitting in the passenger’s seat of her car. Grey had carried it like a gentleman, but in the laundromat, he had stared at her stack of folded lace panties not-like-a-gentleman.

  And now they were enjoying a very slow stroll through downtown Covington. It was sunny today, and the trees that lined the streets cast speckles of shade as they passed under the branches. Grey was bobbing his head like there was music playing as he signed bird to himself again. He didn’t seem to care that the people they passed looked at him. She liked that. He did what he wanted and fuck everyone else’s opinions. She hoped that would rub off on her.

  She pointed to her ear and bobbed her head. Music?

  Grey looked up and around, then pulled her by the hand to a door that had a sign for Jessie’s Brewskies. She giggled at the name and didn’t even care if she made noise or sounded strange. Grey only turned and gave her a beaming grin as he pulled her inside the dimly lit bar. It was midday, so there weren’t too many people, and she could feel the beat of the song through the floor and in the air. Possibly a country song, and when Grey pulled her onto an empty dance floor, rounded on her, and smoothly pushed her back into a two-step, she knew she’d been right. Definitely a country song.

  Grey pointed to the speakers that lined the floor. “Beck Brothers.” He looked at a young guy working the bar and nodded his chin in greeting. “This is where I work.”

  Gen stumbled and stepped on his toes. She hadn’t danced a two-step since she’d left Damon’s Mountains. Dad had taught her at the bar her mom had managed. It was funny. Dad had two-stepped with her often while listening to the Beck Brothers play live music, and now she was dancing to one of their songs with a man who managed a bar, like her mom did. She’d grown up around a place just like this. There was this moment of deja vu, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It reminded her of home, and made her like this place even more.

  Do. You. Work. Tonight? she asked carefully, trying to keep up with his dancing.

  He nodded. “At six.” He hooked a finger under her chin and stopped them. “Don’t watch your feet. Watch me. Let me lead you. I’ll take care of you.”

  Chills lifted the fine hairs on her forearms. She’d dreamed of a man saying something like that to her, but had never thought it would happen. On a whim, she mouthed, I’ll take care of you, too. And she meant more than the dance.

  Grey straightened his spine and pulled her one hand around his arm to rest on his shoulder, then held her other hand in a firm grasp. And there was this moment when they just stared at each other, electricity crackling between them. The bar faded away, and it was just them. The two of them and the beat that pulsed through her legs and landed in her chest. He nodded slightly with it, prepping her. One, two, three, and then he stepped her back into a two-step, holding her body close to his.

  And they danced. Middle of the day, for no reason other than to have fun, on a random dance floor, matching smiles on their faces, her heart pounding to the beat of the music. She was happy. It was a warm sensation that flooded her entire body. Nothing else mattered but this, right here, being in his arms, being under his hands, being guided by him, lost in his smile. This was her favorite moment that she could remember, and Grey was the one giving it to her.

  Maybe Willa had known what she was doing after all.

  Again, like in the laundromat, she thought he would kiss her. At the end of the song, he twirled her like a pro, pulled her back in and dipped her. His face was so close, his eyes on her lips, but a soft frown took his features, and he pulled her back upright slowly without pressing his lips to hers.

  He was holding back, and it confused her.

  With a two-fingered wave for the bartender who was wiping down the counter of the quiet bar, Grey led her outside. But he wasn’t touching her anymore. No hand-holding, no brushing his fingertips on the small of her back as he held the door open. In fact, he seemed to be keeping his distance from her.

  The walk to the restaurant was uncomfortable. He didn’t look at her, and she grew more and more upset. They’d danced and had fun and he’d called her sexy, and then he’d closed off fast.

  Unable to stand this kind of silence, she tugged at his arm and stomped her foot, stopped walking. He turned on her, a question in his piercing blue eyes.

  She typed into her phone, What did I do wrong? Send.

  He frowned down at his phone and typed back, Nothing.

  You won’t touch me or look at me. I did something wrong. Send.

  Grey gave her a blazing warning look before he started typing. No, no, no, you’re great. But when I grabbed your suitcase yesterday, you got scared, and I don’t understand why you left your family group yet. I don’t want to push you.

  I didn’t get hurt by the silverback. Not like that. Send.

  “Then how?” he asked.

  God, she owed him an explanation, but she hadn’t told anyone but Torren what had happened. She was so ashamed. So angry and sad still.

  Swallowing her cowardice down, she typed out her embarrassing admission. I want a cochlear implant. I’m a candidate. Hearing aids don’t work for my kind of hearing loss, but if I got a cochlear implant, I could perceive sound. Not like you, but at least it would be something. I’m a shifter. We’re not supposed to be disabled, so there’s not insurance that will cover it for me. My parents and I had been saving up since I was sixteen and I decided I wanted one. Send.

  “How much?” Grey asked.

  40. Send.

  His eyebrows jacked up to his hairline. “Forty thousand dollars?”r />
  Gen nodded and typed, I had twenty-five saved up. I worked really hard since I was sixteen, and my parents did what they could. Even my brother, Torren, helped. I was getting closer…” Send.

  Fuck, she didn’t want to put the rest. She was supposed to be this powerful female gorilla, and she’d let a man take her hard work away. Be brave. She took a deep breath and continued. Sean, the silverback in my family group, found out I had the money. They worked me for three months, bullying, fighting me, badgering me, saying horrible stuff, dragging me to my knees until I got so sad, I gave up the password to my bank account just to make them stop. They made me feel like I was nothing. Sean said that all the time. You’re nothing. I got weak and gave in and Sean drained me. He took my money. All of it. The way he did it was really messed up. He knew it was for my surgery, and he stole it anyway. He said it was for the good of the family group, but two days later, he bought himself a new motorcycle with my life savings.

  She waited a minute, wishing she could delete it and tell a joke to lighten the conversation, but Grey had been honest about his dad being in shifter prison. He didn’t play games. Send.

  As Grey read her response, red crept up his neck and landed in his face. And when he looked back at her, his eyes were gold like the sun, with tiny pupils that made them look even more feral, and brighter. His face was twisted in fury. The air thickened, congealing in her throat like she was trying to breathe water. Oh, Grey was dangerous, and Gen was glad she wasn’t the one who had caused his anger. Even now, every instinct in her body screamed for her to kneel down and expose her neck to him, and he wasn’t even asking her to. Somehow, he was very good at masking just how dominant he was, but right now he wasn’t pretending at all. She wouldn’t want to cross a man like him. But him being angry on her behalf? It made her feel safe and cared for.

  Grey looked back at his phone, re-reading she supposed, and shook his head. His jaw was clenched hard, and she expected him to act like Torren when he was pissed. Walk away.

  He didn’t, though. Suddenly, he snaked an arm out and pulled her flush against his stony chest. His face was pressed into her hair, and his body shook. He smelled of fur. And then it hit her. Grey was close to a Change. She tried to make a “shhhhh” noise and hoped it sounded okay as she slowly, lightly ran her nails up and down his back.

  He was saying something. She could feel the vibration of his words rattling through his chest to hers, but she didn’t want to pull away from him to read his lips. This felt so good, being all wrapped up in his arms. She’d been grieving the loss of that money alone. She’d put her hopes in that surgery, and now it wouldn’t happen. She would always be the daughter of silence because a man who was supposed to care for her had wanted a motorcycle. She was disgusted with him, but also with herself for letting it happen. She should’ve protected her little treasure better.

  And here was Grey, probably murmuring something soothing because that was him—caring. He was hugging her tight, angry on her behalf, and she didn’t feel so alone with the shame and the hurt and the quiet fury. He was shouldering something big with her, and the weight on her chest and shoulders wasn’t so impossible to carry anymore.

  Gen lifted up on her tiptoes and buried her face against his neck. He smelled like fur and cologne. Like Grey. She memorized his scent. And then she pressed her lips over his tripping pulse. When she did, she realized he wasn’t talking at all. He was growling. His inner panther was worked up. The vibration softened when her lips lingered on his throat. Testing, she parted her lips slightly and sucked, brushing her tongue against his skin. His hands went to her hips and dug in, dragging her body closer. The tenor of his snarl changed. Was he purring? She smiled into her next sucking kiss. Suddenly, he pulled back and took her hand and led her down the sidewalk toward the restaurant. Hot and cold, hot and cold, Grey made her head spin. But then right as disappointment was unfurling in her chest, he pulled her into a small alleyway between two buildings and pressed his back against the brick building. With a devilish smile, he splayed his legs until he was at eye level with her, and by her hips, he dragged her to him. His thick erection pressed against her, and now the flutters in her stomach were going wild.

  Grey cupped the side of her neck, and for a split-second, right before they kissed, he hovered right in front of her in a sexy tease, giving her an option to run or not.

  She wasn’t running. Not from him. Be brave.

  Gen leaned into him and sucked on his bottom lip, her hands splayed on his chiseled pecs. There was a soft groan from him. She could feel it through her hands and wished with everything she had that she could hear the noise he made. Bodies pressed against each other, Gen closed her eyes to the world and just felt him. Lips moving together, tongues touching, tasting, the scratchy sensation of his beard against her skin, his hands exploring her body. His fingers went up her shirt and dragged across the skin of her lower back, around her hip. God, she wanted him. Wanted him so bad. Wished they were back in 1010 so she could get to know his body properly. But maybe this was better, getting lost in a kiss without the promise of anything more.

  His kisses had been meant for her. Made for her. His mouth moved against hers like he knew exactly what she liked. This was a man who was in control, but he’d taken the submissive position for her, his back against the wall. He’d allowed her to trap him so she wouldn’t feel crowded. Ooooh, she liked him so much already.

  He controlled the pace. Sometimes he went hard, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and gripping the back of her hair, and then he would soften his mouth against hers and slow them down. His hand would go gentle as he rubbed her back as though petting her, as though he was coveting her. And then slowly, the fire would build to an inferno, and then they were barely in control once again.

  This was everything. It was feeling those first tingles of a bond she thought she would go to her grave never feeling.

  But this wasn’t supposed to work, right? Bangaboarlander was supposed to be a way for her to find an arranged mate she was friendly with, one who she could commit to, but loveless, like she’d done with Sean.

  What she was building with Grey felt too good to be true, and it was. Because Ben had laid down the order that she couldn’t stay.

  Chapter Nine

  Gen pulled away from their kiss suddenly and searched Grey’s eyes with this look of fear on her face.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, careful to enunciate his words for her.

  I don’t want to leave tomorrow, she mouthed.

  Oh. That. Grey sighed and pushed her bangs out from in front of her eyes so he could see her better. “I’ll take care of that. Don’t worry. We’re not done yet.”

  “Are y’all gonna do it,” Whiskey Barney slurred from the mouth of the alley. “Cause if so, I’m gonna video it and make a million-trillion-billion dollar. Dollars. Dollars is a weird word if you say it a lot. Dollars.”

  Greyson chuckled and shook his head. “Sorry, WB. No alley sex this time around. Better luck next time.”

  “Okay. Jessie said I’m cut off. He kicked me out.”

  “Well you sound three sheets to the wind, so that’s probably best. How long did he say you’re cut off?”

  Barney burped and swayed on his feet, then ran a hand over his balding dome and gave a goofy grin. “’Till I sober up again.”

  “So forever.”

  “Pretty much. I’m gonna go to the old bar. They like the Barney show over there.”

  “Don’t drive!”

  “My car ain’t even runnin’. I forgot to put gas in it,” he slurred, walking away. “Over his shoulder, he called, “Your girlfriend is hot. Stay bad to the bone you wild and crazy…crazy…dollars.”

  Gen looked concerned and formed the words, Is he okay?

  “Oh, yeah. That’s just Whiskey Barney. He’s one of the many characters of this town. He comes into the bar a lot.”

  A regular?

  “Yep. Come on, I can hear your stomach growling from here. I wish
we could stay right here and make out all night, but I have this instinct… I need to get you fed. Is that weird?”

  Her smile turned so fucking cute, and pink painted her cheeks as she shook her head. She liked when he took care of little things, he could tell. Oh, she was tough. She had to be to live the life she had without being able to hear, and she hadn’t let it turn her bitter. She was sweet instead. The world hadn’t made her hard, just strong.

  Gen was complicated. He used to think he wanted the simplest girl, the simplest relationship he could find, but this girl had layers and depth. She had everything. He hadn’t found a single thing about her he didn’t like.

  He held out his bent elbow, and she slipped her hand into the crook of his arm. Her grip was strong. That unintentional strength was probably a gorilla thing, but he didn’t mind. His body was made to be roughed up. He could handle her, and there was no doubt in his mind she could handle him, too. She might be shy and sweet, but Genevieve Taylor, only daughter of the legendary Kong, was anything but fragile. Sexy, sexy, little Lowlander. Grey had got so fucking lucky.

  Gen was a beauty, but she didn’t know it. That much was clear from the way she ducked her head and blushed at every compliment and from the way she avoided eye contact with people who looked or stared at her on the street. She probably thought they saw her as deaf, but how could they? She was stunning with her dark hair, light blue eyes, and her make-up done all pretty. He bet she was really good at her job and made women feel gorgeous when she did their hair and make-up. He was probably going to kill Sean. He wished she’d told him that douchebag’s last name, but he would find it. When he got home from work tonight, he would get on the computer and track that prick down. Taking money from Gen. Taking surgery money? What a horrible person. Grey wanted to rip his throat out. Slowly.