All Consuming

by Jaci Burton

  “And where’s Kal?” her mom asked.

  She stuffed her head in the bottom of the box, but found it empty, so she shoved it aside and opened the next box.

  “Did you think by ignoring me I’m not going to ask the question again? Where’s Kal?”

  “We broke up,” she mumbled.

  “Oh, honey, no. Why?”

  Hannah shrugged, then sat on the floor and looked up at her mom. “I don’t know. He wanted to buy a house.”

  Her mother frowned. “And that’s bad, why exactly?”

  “He wanted to buy a house that we could all live in.”

  Her mother gave her the side-eye. “How dreadful. I can see why you dumped him.”

  “Mom.”

  “Mom, what? He treated you terribly by wanting to share his life with you? With Oliver?”

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “Explain it to me.”

  “It’s really complicated.”

  Her mother moved the boxes aside and took a seat on the sofa, then patted a spot next to her. “And I’m not stupid, so talk to me.”

  With a sigh, Hannah pushed up from the floor and stood, then sat next to her mother.

  “Landon was here a few weeks ago.”

  Her mother’s eyes widened. “He was? What did he want?”

  “To see Oliver, of course. On his terms. Like pulling him out of school. He was on his way to North Carolina for a new job. Made all these promises about how he was going to include Oliver in his life, start calling him regularly.”

  Her mom nodded. “And he never did.”

  “He never did.”

  Her mom patted her knee. “I’m sorry. For both of you.”

  “I’m sorry for Oliver. I was over Landon a long time ago. Fortunately, Oliver doesn’t even know Landon was here. I keep hoping he’ll change, for Oliver’s sake, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.”

  “You can’t make someone be something they’re not. And someday Oliver will realize that, honey. You just have to let it go.”

  “I know I do. I just hurt for Oliver, for the mistakes I made. That I keep making.” She let out a long sigh. “And then there’s Kal. And me. Mostly me.”

  “I thought you two were getting along so well.”

  “We were. But there are things I want for myself. To be able to do by myself. I want to be independent. To save money and to buy a house myself. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”

  “Hannah, Kal is nothing like Landon. He’s responsible. He has a great job. He loves Oliver. He loves you.”

  She looked down at her hands. “He told me he loves me.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “Nothing. That I need some space.”

  “So you don’t love him back?”

  Tears pricked her eyes. “That’s the thing. I do love him. But I’m afraid. I messed up so badly the first time. And this time it’s not just my heart that’s in the mix. It’s Oliver’s, too.”

  “Oh, baby.” Her mother folded her into her arms and held her. “Maybe it’s time to stop running away. Especially from a good man who loves you.”

  “I know.”

  Hannah had to admit that while it wouldn’t solve her problems, there was nothing better than being held by your mom while you tried to work out in your head how you were going to fix the mess you’d made.

  Because she did love Kal. And maybe they weren’t on the same page as far as future planning, but she couldn’t just walk away from him.

  She missed him so much her heart felt like it was tearing in two.

  There had to be a way back from this. And the only way to do that was to talk to him, to figure things out.

  She had to stop running away from things that scared her. And loving Kal scared her more than anything had ever scared her before.

  It was time to woman up and face it. Face him. Then maybe together they’d figure out what to do.

  If he would even speak to her.

  CHAPTER 32

  The entire TRT stood on the top of the high rise, looking down below at the two construction workers hanging on to the scaffolding that had somehow given way and was now tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

  “At least they’re tied off,” Meg said.

  “Which isn’t gonna do them much good if that scaffold collapses and plummets them down forty stories,” Irish said.

  “Okay, let’s get ropes and pulleys into action,” Lieutenant Anderson said. “Donovan and Starling, I want the two of you rappelling down for rescue.”

  “Yes, sir,” Kal said, immediately climbing into his harness and grabbing the equipment he’d need. Phil and Micah would have the lead on ropes that would hold Kal and Dean. The others would have the ropes and pulleys to bring up the two construction workers.

  The top of the high rise was forty-six stories, which meant they’d rappel down six stories. Winds were high, so this wasn’t going to be an easy rescue. It also meant the situation below was precarious. They needed to get a move on before that scaffold became even more unstable. They’d have to work quickly, but safely.

  A rescue like this meant that Kal and Dean had to put their trust in the team. Phil had hold of Kal’s rope. As Phil hooked on and checked everything on Kal’s harness, he turned him around.

  “I’ve got you,” he said.

  Kal nodded and swung over the side, beginning his descent. He kept his focus only on getting down to the stranded workers.

  Wind whipped around him, furious and unrelenting. They needed to hurry. He took a quick glance across to see that Dean was struggling, too. The descent seemed to take forever, though he knew only a few minutes had passed before they reached the workers, who were hanging on for dear life.

  Scaffolding wasn’t all that steady, either.

  “Wind just picked up out of nowhere,” one of the workers said as Kal reached him. “We never would’ve been on this thing in high winds. And then the cable suddenly failed.”

  “It’s okay,” Kal said. “I’ve got you.”

  Dean was working on his guy, too, so Kal could concentrate on doing what needed to be done. He attached a harness and rope to the worker, then radioed to the team to start pulling the worker up.

  Dean’s guy went up just after Kal’s, but then a huge gust of wind blasted the scaffold against the steel frame of the building. Dean got caught up in the rigging and the scaffold shot him sideways, slamming him against one of the beams.

  “Dean!” Kal yelled as he saw his team member go limp.

  He hustled his way over to Dean to check him out. He was unconscious after that hit and Kal didn’t know the extent of his injuries. This was not good.

  “What’s going on down there, Donovan?” his lieutenant radioed.

  “Starling got slammed against a beam. He’s unconscious. Injuries unknown. I’m hooking on to him now, sir. Will notify as soon as we’re ready to lift up.”

  “Roger.”

  He put a c-collar on Dean, then hooked his harness to Dean’s and radioed the team to raise them both. They were up on the main floor within a minute, every team member grabbing on to Dean, who by now was starting to regain consciousness. They had already called down for a basket from Station 65, who’d been waiting on the ground, and EMTs were on their way up to attend to Dean.

  Kal’s pulse raced as they put Dean into the basket and took him downstairs to the waiting ambulance where news crews waited to interview him and the rest of the team. As usual, the TRT was more interested in attending to their jobs than they were in answering questions. They’d let the department PR team handle that. But for some reason cameras had caught his rescue of Dean, so they’d stuck a mic and a camera in his face and asked him tons of questions about how it had all gone down. His lieutenant had told him to answer a few questions so the
media would go away.

  He wasn’t very comfortable being in front of cameras, but he gave a recap of the team’s rescue today, giving them a step-by-step of what the team had done and how they had done it. The fact that the media kept coming back to him, personally, irked him, but he kept it on point, making sure to note it was a team effort. Finally they seemed to have enough sound bites and went to interview the construction workers so he could continue doing his job.

  Both workers were unharmed, only a little shaky, so EMTs checked them out and released them.

  After cleanup, they drove to the hospital to check on Dean. Carmen was working the ER so she came over to them when they arrived.

  “He’s got some scrapes and maybe a concussion. He’s in CT right now, and his wife’s in the room if one of you want to go back there and talk to her.”

  Lieutenant Anderson stepped forward. “I’ll go.”

  Carmen nodded, smiled at Kal and placed her hand on his arm. “He’s going to be okay.”

  Kal nodded. “Thanks.”

  Phil came over to him. “You know her?”

  “She’s my sister-in-law. She’s the nursing supervisor of the ER. She knows her shit. So if she says Dean’s gonna be okay, then he will.”

  “Thanks.” He started to turn away, then stopped. “You acted fast. You saved my partner’s life. You did good out there today, Donovan.”

  Kal nodded.

  “I’ve given you a hard time, thinking you didn’t deserve to be on this team. I was wrong.”

  Kal knew it had taken a lot for Phil to admit that. He also knew how close Phil and Dean were. “We’re brothers. All of us. It’s what we do for each other.”

  “Yeah. It is.” Phil laid his hand on Kal’s shoulder, then walked away.

  They all waited, pacing and nervous for an hour and a half until Carmen came out again.

  “You can all go in. But just for a minute. And no loud voices and no ruckus. Understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Irish said, looking to Kal as they walked quietly down the hall. “She’s mean.”

  Kal’s lips lifted into a smile. He couldn’t wait to tell Carmen that later. She’d love it.

  They opened the door to see Dean sitting up in bed. He grinned when the team walked in.

  “Well?” Meg asked. “You gonna live?”

  “I am. Thanks to Kal.”

  Kal blinked in surprise.

  “Yeah,” Phil said, “thanks to Kal, my best friend is going to live to swing on a rope another day.”

  They all surrounded him, shook his hand, patted him on the shoulder, then made their exit.

  “Kal, wait,” Dean said.

  Kal stayed behind.

  “Thank you for what you did out there today. You showed amazing skill and you were damn brave. I was wrong about you. I’m sorry.”

  Kal laid his hand on his shoulder. “Apology accepted. I’m just really glad you’re okay. Get well so we can see you back on the team.”

  “Thanks, brother.”

  As he left the room, Kal felt as if a boulder had been lifted off of his shoulders. All he’d ever wanted was to feel a part of the TRT. And he’d only felt partly on the team, because not all the members had accepted him. Now they all did. And it felt great. Out-fucking-standing, actually.

  All he had to do was straighten out the rest of his life. And that part wasn’t going to be as easy as dangling off of a forty-six-story skyscraper.

  Because you couldn’t make someone love you who didn’t.

  And he didn’t know how to change that.

  CHAPTER 33

  Hannah had spent the entire night pacing. Worrying. Thinking.

  She’d seen the TRT rescue on the news, had seen the way Kal had rappelled over to rescue his fellow firefighter while dangling forty-something stories above the ground. Her heart had leaped into her throat when they’d interviewed Kal and she realized it had been him up there.

  All she’d wanted to do was drive over to the fire station, fling herself into his arms and pour her heart out to him, but she couldn’t do that. She had to wait and hope that when she went over to his house this morning that he’d be there, that he’d open the door to her. That he’d open his heart to her and listen to what she had to say.

  She’d rearranged her appointments so she didn’t have to be at work. She dropped Oliver off at school and asked her mom to pick him up today. She needed the entire day, even though she might end up having the door slammed in her face. If that happened, she’d just come home and . . . and . . .

  Cry, she supposed. But she’d have no one to blame but herself if that happened.

  She pulled into the driveway and her breathing quickened. Kal’s truck was parked there. The garage door was open.

  Okay, Step One taken care of. He was home.

  No other cars were there, so she wasn’t sure if Jackson and Becks were home, but she’d deal with that if and when he let her in.

  Now all she had to do was actually get out of the car and make her way to the door.

  But for some reason her body was frozen and she couldn’t seem to make it move.

  Grow some courage, Hannah. You got yourself into this mess. Now get yourself out of it.

  Nodding to herself, she turned off the ignition, grabbed her keys and got out of the car, forcing herself to walk each step to the door.

  When she got there, she sucked in a breath and rang the bell. The sound of the doorbell rang so loud it almost made her turn around and run to the car. But she straightened her spine and threw her shoulders back.

  Whatever happened, she’d face it.

  The door opened and there was Kal, looking freshly showered and damp and gorgeous in long pants and a long-sleeved shirt.

  “Hannah. What are you doing here?”

  “I . . . I saw you on TV. That rescue. It was . . . wow, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. You want to come in?”

  “Sure. Thanks.”

  She stepped inside and he closed the door.

  “I was making breakfast,” he said as he led her through the living room and into the kitchen. A Christmas tree stood by the windows in the living room, and adorable holiday decorations and stockings adorned the mantel. She could see Becks’s touch all over. If she hadn’t felt so miserable she would have smiled about that.

  “You hungry?” he asked.

  Her stomach gnawed at her, but it was nerves, not hunger. “A little.”

  “You can eat with me, then.”

  He was mixing together eggs and as he laid bacon into another pan, she asked, “Can I help?”

  “No, I’ve got this. So what brings you by?”

  She could tell he was tense. So was she.

  “I wanted to talk to you. I’ve been wanting to talk to you. About that day that we . . . that I said some things to you and then I walked away from you.”

  He gave her a quick look before turning the bacon. “Okay.”

  If she wanted this to work out, she was going to have to tell him the truth, to pour her heart out. “I was scared, Kal. And upset.”

  “Upset with me?”

  “No. I was upset that Landon hadn’t called like he’d promised. And scared about letting you fully in, into thinking about having a future with you when I’d messed up so badly the first time. And I know you’re nothing like Landon, but I had all these plans for my future, about how I was going to save money, and buy my own house, and Oliver and I were going to be independent and do everything on our own, you know?”

  He put bacon and eggs on a plate, then went to the fridge and grabbed a container that had some melon in it. Then he poured juice into two glasses. “Let’s go sit at the table.”

  They took their plates and glasses to the table.

  He ate, and she pushed her fork around the plate and managed to
eat a couple of bites of fruit and a forkful of eggs.

  “So I came into your life and fucked it all up,” he finally said. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s coming out all wrong. I was just scared when you took me to the house. Because the house was perfect. You were perfect, and everything was coming together so well. But it wasn’t my dream, you know?”

  He laid his fork down. “I know. And I’m sorry about that. I pushed you too hard, too fast, and that was my fault. You weren’t ready for everything that I wanted. And that’s on me. I’m sorry.”

  He was apologizing? Why was he saying sorry? This wasn’t going like she had thought. “Wait. You have nothing to be sorry about, Kal. I’m the one who screwed up. I’m the one who pushed you away. It wasn’t what I wanted.”

  “It wasn’t?”

  “No. I’m crazy in love with you. After you left, I was devastated. And angry. With myself, for letting you go. My plans are stupid.”

  His lips curved. “Being an independent woman is not stupid, Hannah. I admire you for everything you’ve done to carve out the life you have for you and for Oliver. I didn’t mean to get in the way of that, but I can’t help that I fell in love with you. That I love Oliver as if he’s my own.”

  Her heart pounded so hard she thought it might burst. “I love you, Kal. I’ve loved you since I was fourteen years old. I don’t know that I ever stopped loving you. Only now it’s a different kind of love. It’s deeper. The forever kind. I don’t want to lose you.”

  He pushed his chair back and stood, then pulled her out of the chair and kissed her, the kind of kiss that a woman could feel all the way to her soul. When he drew back, he smoothed her hair away from her face. “I love you, Hannah. And whatever plans you want to make for our future, in whatever timetable you want to make them, I’m on board for it.”

  For the first time in . . . forever, she felt a sense of peace. That this felt right, that she was home in the arms of the man she knew she could spend the rest of her life with.