Man of La Mancha

by Dale Wasserman

  (QUIXOTE and SANCHO join the dance; the MOORS steal everything in sight, including the “horses.” QUIXOTE and SANCHO finally fall, exhausted but happy. Then, as they discover with dismay what has befallen them, the lights black out.

  The lights come up on the courtyard of the Inn. The INNKEEPER, humming happily, is crossing the courtyard. From offstage, the discordant bleat of SANCHO’s bugle. He stops and turns a haunted face toward the gates. MARIA comes crashing from the inn)

  MARIA (A shriek) Don’t open the gates! Don’t let him in!

  INNKEEPER (His face clearing) It’s the pig-butcher. Don’t you remember? We expected him yesterday.

  MARIA No, no! Don’t open!

  (The INNKEEPER goes to the gates as QUIXOTE and SANCHO appear, supporting each other. MARIA screams and runs off)

  INNKEEPER Not again? (Trying to bar the way) This place is closed. This castle has gone out of business!

  DON QUIXOTE (Feeble but stern) What, sir? Deny the right of sanctuary?

  INNKEEPER I hate to, but—

  DON QUIXOTE And to a knight dubbed by thy own hand?

  INNKEEPER (Wavering) It doesn’t seem right …

  DON QUIXOTE Not by any rule of chivalry!

  (The INNKEEPER, yielding with a sigh, allows them to enter. QUIXOTE and SANCHO totter into the courtyard—footsore and in very bad shape. The INNKEEPER looks them over)

  INNKEEPER More muleteers?

  SANCHO (Hollowly) Moors. They stole our money.

  DON QUIXOTE Have done, Sancho.

  SANCHO They stole our animals.

  DON QUIXOTE Must thou harp on it?

  SANCHO They stole everything we had.

  INNKEEPER (With pity) Why don’t you declare a truce?

  DON QUIXOTE And allow wickedness to flourish?

  INNKEEPER I’m afraid wickedness wears thick armor.

  (In the background, unseen by the three, ALDONZA enters)

  DON QUIXOTE (Roused) And for that wouldst thou have me surrender? Nay, let a man be overthrown ten thousand times, still must he rise and again do battle. The Enchanter may confuse the outcome, but the effort remains sublime!

  ALDONZA (Bitterly) Lies. Madness and lies.

  INNKEEPER (Horrified at her bruises, her tattered rags) Aldonza! What happened?

  ALDONZA Ask him.

  INNKEEPER (Calling as he exits) Maria! Maria!

  DON QUIXOTE (Rising, aghast) I shall punish them that did this crime.

  ALDONZA Crime! You know the worst crime of all? Being born. For that you get punished your whole life!

  DON QUIXOTE Dulcinea—

  ALDONZA Enough of that! Get yourself to a madhouse. Rave about nobility where no one can hear!

  DON QUIXOTE My lady—

  ALDONZA (Passionately) I am not your lady! I am not any kind of a lady! (Singing)

  I was spawned in a ditch by a mother who left me there

  Naked and cold and too hungry to cry;

  I never blamed her, I’m sure she left hoping

  That I’d have the good sense to die!

  Then, of course, there’s my father—I’m told that young ladies

  Can point to their fathers with maidenly pride;

  Mine was some regiment here for an hour,

  I can’t even tell you which side!

  So of course I became, as befitted my delicate birth,

  The most casual bride of the murdering scum of the earth!

  DON QUIXOTE And still thou art my lady.

  ALDONZA And still he torments me! Lady! How should I be a lady? (Singing)

  For a lady has modest and maidenly airs

  And a virtue I somehow suspect that I lack;

  It’s hard to remember those maidenly airs

  In a stable laid flat on your back.

  Won’t you look at me, look at me, God, won’t you look at me,

  Look at the kitchen slut reeking of sweat!

  Born on a dungheap to die on a dungheap,

  A strumpet men use and forget!

  If you feel that you see me not quite at my virginal best,

  Cross my palm with a coin and I’ll willingly show you the rest!

  DON QUIXOTE (Tenderly) Never deny, thou art Dulcinea.

  ALDONZA (Ever more frantically) Take the clouds from your eyes and see me as I really am! (Singing)

  You have shown me the sky, but what good is the sky

  To a creature who’ll never do better than crawl?

  Of all the cruel bastards who’ve badgered and battered me,

  You are the cruelest of all!

  Can’t you see what your gentle insanities do to me?

  Rob me of anger and give me despair!

  Blows and abuse I can take and give back again,

  Tenderness I cannot bear!

  So please torture me now with your “Sweet Dulcineas” no more!

  I am no one! I’m nothing! I’m only Aldonza the whore!

  DON QUIXOTE Now and forever thou art my lady Dulcinea!

  ALDONZA (A wail) No-o-o!

  (She collapses, despairing. DON QUIXOTE moves toward her compassionately—but suddenly, off, there is a fanfare of trumpets. Brazen, warlike, ominous in quality. SANCHO scurries to look, then backs away from what he sees)

  SANCHO (Choking with fear) Master …!

  (Music continues as the gates swing open. A strange cavalcade enters; liveried attendants preceding a KNIGHT, tall and terrifying in fantastic armor. He wears a chain-mail tunic on which are mounted tiny mirrors that glitter and dazzle the eye. On his head is a masklike casque, only his eyes visible through slits. From the crest of the casque spring great plumes, accentuating what seems already incredible stature. In his hand is a naked, shining sword. The music cuts as the cavalcade comes to a halt)

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (His voice harsh, clangorous) Is there one here calls himself Don Quixote de La Mancha? If there is—and he be not afraid to look upon me—let him stand forth!

  DON QUIXOTE (At length, voice shaking) I am Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance.

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (Voice magnified and metallic within the casque) Now hear me, thou charlatan! Thou art no knight, but a foolish pretender. Thy pretense is a child’s mockery, and thy principles dirt beneath my feet!

  DON QUIXOTE (Trembling with anger) Oh, false knight! Discourteous! Before I chastise thee, tell me thy name.

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS Thou shalt hear it in due course.

  DON QUIXOTE Then say why thou seekest me out!

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (Mockingly) Thou called upon me, Don Quixote. Thou reviled me and threatened.

  DON QUIXOTE The Enchanter! (A moan from SANCHO. The music, under, is the “Enchanter’s Theme.” DON QUIXOTE tears off his left gauntlet, flinging it at the KNIGHT’s feet) Behold at thy feet the gage of battle!

  SANCHO (Anguished) Master—no!

  (He runs, scrambles for the gauntlet, but the KNIGHT pins it with his sword)

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (Suddenly very cold) On what terms do we fight?

  DON QUIXOTE Choose thine own!

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS Very well. If thou art beaten thy freedom is forfeit and thou must obey my every command. (DON QUIXOTE bows coldly) And thy conditions?

  DON QUIXOTE If thou art still alive thou shalt kneel and beg mercy of my lady Dulcinea.

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (Mockingly) Where shall I find this lady?

  DON QUIXOTE There she stands.

  (The KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS turns his eyes to ALDONZA—her rags, her bruises, her ruined face. He begins to laugh in cruel derision)

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS Thy lady … is an alley cat!

  DON QUIXOTE (Drawing his sword in fury) Monster! Defend thyself!

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (Stepping back) Hold! Thou asked my name, Don Quixote. Now I shall tell it. I am called—the Knight of the Mirrors! (Music: the “Enchanter’s Theme,” as the KNIGHT swings forward his shield. Its surface is polished steel, a mirror which blinds and bewilders DON QUIXOTE. The ATTENDANTS reveal s
imilar mirrors. In a choreographic pattern QUIXOTE will reel from one to the other, fetching up always against his own image) Look, Don Quixote! Look in the mirror of reality and behold things as they truly are. Look! What seest thou, Don Quixote? A gallant knight? Naught but an aging fool! (DON QUIXOTE recoils from his own image, only to be brought up against another) Look! Dost thou see him? A madman dressed for a masquerade! (Attempting escape, QUIXOTE finds himself facing another minor) Look, Don Quixote! See him as he truly is! See the clown! (QUIXOTE reels away, only to find the mirrors converging as the KNIGHT and his ATTENDANTS close down upon him) Drown, Don Quixote. Drown—drown in the mirror. Go deep—the masquerade is ended! (QUIXOTE collapses to his knees) Confess! Thy lady is a trollop, and thy dream the nightmare of a disordered mind!

  DON QUIXOTE (In dazed desperation) I am Don Quixote, knight-errant of La Mancha … and my lady is the Lady Dulcinea. I am Don Quixote, knight-errant … and my lady … my lady …

  (Beaten, weeping, he sinks to the floor)

  KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS (Removing the casque from his head) It is done!

  SANCHO (Thunderstruck) Your Grace! It is Doctor Carrasco! It is only Sansón Carrasco!

  DR. CARRASCO Forgive me, Señor Quijana. It was the only way.

  (Lights dim down to DON QUIXOTE, huddled weeping on the floor. ALDONZA comes toward him, her face devastated by loss and pity. Music bridges as the lighting alters back to that of the prison, and the CAPTAIN OF THE INQUISITION is seen entering)

  CAPTAIN (Shouting) Cervantes! Cervantes! Prepare to be summoned!

  CERVANTES (Confusedly) By whom?

  CAPTAIN The Judges of the Inquisition!

  THE GOVERNOR Captain! How soon?

  CAPTAIN Soon!

  (He exits)

  THE GOVERNOR But not yet. (To CERVANTES, with satisfaction) Good. You’ll have time to finish the story.

  CERVANTES But the story is finished.

  THE GOVERNOR What?

  CERVANTES At least so far as I know it.

  THE GOVERNOR I don’t think I like this ending. (A growl from the PRISONERS) I don’t think the jury likes it, either.

  THE DUKE Well, then—he’s failed!

  THE GOVERNOR Miguel de Cervantes. It is the sentence of this court—

  CERVANTES (Panicky) Wait!

  THE GOVERNOR For what?

  CERVANTES If I could have a little more time?

  THE GOVERNOR (After a glance at the PRISONERS) Oh, I’ll grant it. But the Inquisition …?

  CERVANTES A few moments only! Let me improvise …

  (He snaps his fingers, pointing out the PRISONERS who are to play in the following scene. Music underscores: a melancholy version of “I’m Only Thinking of Him” as the setting is improvised in the shape of a bedroom in ALONSO QUIJANA’s home. Limiting alters to shafts of dying sun as the bed and its occupant—DON QUIXOTE—are revealed.

  QUIXOTE’s eyes are open but deep-hollowed and remote, windows on a mind that has retreated to some secret place. There is silence a while but for the music)

  ANTONIA (Voice low, to CARRASCO) Can you do nothing?

  PADRE (With soft compassion) I’m afraid there’ll be more need of my services than his. (Waves a hand slowly across QUIXOTE’s unseeing eyes) Where is he, I wonder? In what dark cavern of the mind?

  DR. CARRASCO According to recent theory—

  PADRE Doctor. Please.

  DR. CARRASCO (Resentfully) Don’t you think I did right?

  PADRE (Sighing) Yes. There’s the contradiction …

  (SANCHO enters timidly, hat in hand)

  ANTONIA You again?

  DR. CARRASCO Tell him to go away.

  PADRE (Wearily) What harm can he do?

  ANTONIA Yes—it’s all been done!

  (She lets him pass, grudgingly)

  SANCHO (Bobbing his head to the PADRE) Your Reverence. (Diffidently) Could I talk to him?

  PADRE I’m afraid he won’t hear you.

  SANCHO Well, then, I won’t say much.

  DR. CARRASCO And no mention of knight-errantry!

  SANCHO Of course not. Does one speak of the rope in the house of the hanged? Oh—excuse me, Your Grace.

  ANTONIA (Bitterly) Your Grace.

  SANCHO (Seating himself by the bed) Just a few words … to lighten his heart. (Music: he sings)

  A little gossip … a little chat …

  A little idle talk … of this and that …

  I’ll tell him all the troubles I have had

  And since he doesn’t hear, at least he won’t feel bad.

  (To QUIXOTE)

  When I first got home my wife Teresa beat me,

  But the blows fell very lightly on my back.

  She kept missing every other stroke and crying from the heart

  That while I was gone she’d gone and lost the knack! (Spoken)

  Of course I hit her back, Your Grace, but she’s a lot harder than I am, and you know what they say—“Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it’s going to be bad for the pitcher.” So I’ve got bruises from here to—

  (An admonishing look from the PADRE. He sings)

  A little gossip … a little chat …

  A little idle talk … of this and that …

  If no one listens, then it’s just as well,

  At least I won’t get caught in any lies I tell!

  (Conspiratorially to QUIXOTE)

  Oh, I haven’t fought a windmill in a fortnight,

  And the humble joys get duller every day.

  Why, when I’m asleep a dragon with his fiery tongue a-waggin’

  Whispers, “Sancho, won’t you please come out and play?”

  DR. CARRASCO (Roused) That’s enough now.

  SANCHO Why? What did I do?

  DR. CARRASCO I warned you!

  SANCHO I didn’t do anything, I was only trying to—

  DON QUIXOTE (Barely audible) My friend.

  SANCHO (Politely, as all turn, startled) Did Your Grace say something?

  DON QUIXOTE You’re a fat little bag stuffed with proverbs.

  SANCHO Yes, Your Grace. Well, as I was saying—

  ANTONIA (Running to QUIXOTE) Uncle!

  DON QUIXOTE My dear … (His eyes go to the others) Good morning, Padre … or is it evening?

  PADRE Alonso …

  DR. CARRASCO How do you feel, sir?

  DON QUIXOTE Not well, my friends.

  DR. CARRASCO Can you speak your name?

  DON QUIXOTE (Puzzled) Should a man not know his own name?

  DR. CARRASCO If you would say it …?

  DON QUIXOTE (In surprise) Alonso Quijana. (DR. CARRASCO gives a triumphant look to the others) Padre …

  PADRE Here beside you.

  DON QUIXOTE I should like to make a will.

  PADRE Of course.

  (He exits to get materials)

  ANTONIA (Anxiously, as DON QUIXOTE closes his eyes and is silent) Uncle …?

  DON QUIXOTE (Faintly) Forgive me, my dear. When I close my eyes I see a pale horse … and he beckons me—mount.

  ANTONIA No, Uncle. You will get well!

  DON QUIXOTE (Smiling) Why should a man get well when he is dying? It’s such a waste of good health. (With a feeble gesture) Come closer, my friends. (They come to the bedside) In my illness I dreamed so strangely … Oh, such dreams! It seemed I was a … no … I dare not tell lest you think me mad.

  ANTONIA Put them from your mind!

  DON QUIXOTE (Deeply weary) They are gone, my dear … nor do I know what they meant. (As the PADRE re-enters) Padre …?

  PADRE Speak, my friend, and I shall write.

  DON QUIXOTE I, Alonso Quijana … with one foot in the stirrup and the agony of death already upon me …

  (The PADRE’s pen scratches busily. From the front of the house the thudding of the doorknocker is heard)

  ANTONIA (To the HOUSEKEEPER as she goes to see) Don’t admit anyone.

  DON QUIXOTE … do hereby make the following disposition of my estate.
The bulk I bequeath to my beloved niece, Antonia Quijana … (From off comes a racket of voices in vehement argument)—with the exception of certain personal bequests which are as follows—

  (The HOUSEKEEPER backs in, pushed roughly by ALDONZA. Everyone speaks at once)

  HOUSEKEEPER (In fear and ANTONIA What is this? frenzy) You cannot! I Sansón! say you cannot!

  ALDONZA Get out of my way, you hag—

  DR. CARRASCO It’s that slut from the Inn.

  HOUSEKEEPER I tried to stop her! She threatened to—

  ALDONZA Tear your eyes out!

  DR. CARRASCO (Advancing on ALDONZA grimly) Get out of here.

  ALDONZA And if you touch me again, by God—

  DR. CARRASCO Get out of here!

  ALDONZA Not before I see him!

  DR. CARRASCO I’m warning you—go quietly or I’ll—

  DON QUIXOTE (Voice weak but commanding) Let be.

  DR. CARRASCO Señor Quijana—

  DON QUIXOTE In my house there will be courtesy! (DR. CARRASCO reluctantly steps aside) Come closer, girl.

  (ALDONZA approaches) Now. What is it you wish?

  ALDONZA (Incredulously) Don’t you know me?

  DON QUIXOTE (Puzzled) Should I?

  ALDONZA I am Aldonza!

  (A movement forward from the others. A pause)

  DON QUIXOTE (Blankly) I am sorry. I do not recall anyone of that name.

  ALDONZA (Looks about wildly. Sees SANCHO. Points to him) He knows! (DON QUIXOTE’s eyes go to SANCHO, who steps forward as though to speak. DR. CARRASCO warns him fiercely with a gesture. SANCHO closes his mouth, shrugs feebly. Panicky, to DON QUIXOTE) Please, my lord!

  DON QUIXOTE (Curiously) Why do you say “my lord”? I am not a lord.

  ALDONZA You are my lord, Don Quixote!