Maze (The Ballerina Series #2)

by Ursula Sinclair

  “Well, I guess that means you’re happy to see me,” I joked.

  She smiled. “Yeah.” She grabbed my elbow. “How was the flight? I’m sorry the weather is so crappy.”

  “It was fine. No worries.”

  “Come on. Bev’s being prepped now.”

  I followed her to the elevator. I would have kissed her again but a woman and a toddler got on with us. When the elevator opened, we got off and walked down a hallway past a nurse’s station. Ivy led me into another section but it was kinda crowded. It looked more like a prepping area cause only curtains separated one room from another. I recognized Bev’s husband and Ivy’s mom. A tall handsome medium brown skinned man had his hands on Allison’s shoulders. Ivy’s dad. A doctor and nurse stood near the bed. We stayed in the general area.

  “Hey, everyone. Look who I found,” Ivy said.

  “Hi.” I sent out the greeting to everyone. I felt uncomfortable as hell when all those parental gazes swung my way. Not something I was used to. But I gotta give Ivy’s mom props. She stepped away from her husband and came over to me to give me a hug. Shocked the shit outta me.

  “How you holding up?” she asked, looking up into my eyes.

  “I’m good.”

  When she stepped back Ben came over and shook my hand. “It’s good to see you again, Maze.”

  “You too,” I replied.

  “Dad,” Ivy said looking at her father, “Do you remember Maze?”

  “Sure. How are you, son? I’m sorry for your loss.” Her dad stepped forward and shook my hand, too.

  “Thank you, sir.” Oh fuck, fuck. I had to use everything I’d ever learned to keep my breathing even and not hyperventilate like I wanted to. I could weld a steel blade and draw blood with ice in my veins but meeting these people freaked my shit out. These were the adults in Ivy’s life. They meant something to her. I could do this.

  I glanced over at Ivy. For her. All for her.

  Bev waved at me when the doctor stepped aside. “Thanks for coming, Maze.”

  “No problem, Bev.”

  “It’s time,” the nurse said.

  Ivy released my hand and went over to the bed. She kissed Bev on her cheek. “Love you, Aunt Bev,” she said. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

  She came back over to me and took my hand. “Come on.” She turned to her parents. “We’re going down to the cafeteria. We’ll meet you back at the waiting area. Do you need anything?”

  They shook their heads.

  I took a deep breath when we walked away. We located the cafeteria, which also had an open atrium area. I wasn’t really hungry and neither was Ivy. We got a couple of hot teas and found a secluded area. A bistro table for two tucked into a corner. I scooted the chair even closer so we were seated side by side and faced the rest of the room. I looked up. The roof had a skylight in the center, but it was an awful day so all I could see was water making a losing bid to get inside.

  Ivy looked up, too. “I know. Like I said, crappy day.”

  I held her hand. “Any day someone’s having surgery is a crappy day.”

  “Thank you so much for being here with me.”

  I raised her hand to my mouth and my lips met her knuckles. “Where else would I be but by your side when you need me?”

  “How are you holding up?” she asked.

  Somehow I managed to dredge up a smile for her. “Better now that I’m with you.” I reached over and wrapped one arm around her shoulder and she leaned her head on me.

  “I missed you,” she said.

  “I doubt anywhere as much as I missed you. You know for the last few weeks the last couple of nights were the first time I haven’t woken up with you in my arms. I’m not sure I got any sleep.” And it was true. For so many reasons.

  She leaned back to look at me. “And we won’t be sleeping together tonight either. Dad’s relegated you to the basement.”

  I winched. But wasn’t all that surprised. “Why?”

  “Because they’re parents.”

  “Okay, okay but I miss you.” And I did. I’d missed her so much already and wouldn’t have her with me tonight. I needed to hold her in my arms. Skin to skin. I badly wanted to bury myself in her essence and feel a measure of sanity again.

  She chuckled. “It’s just one more night and we’ll be home tomorrow.”

  “I like the way you think. Yeah, home. Have you told your folks we moved in together?” She was not quick to answer. “Ivy…”

  “Ah, I told my mom. She’s not excited about it but she’s cool with it. She understands how much we love each other.”

  “Okay, and your dad?”

  She shook her head. “I haven’t told him yet.”

  “Why?”

  She sat up trying to put a little distance between us but I wasn’t having any of that.

  I pulled her back into my embrace. “Why haven’t you?” I asked again.

  “He’s my dad, Maze. He had a fit when he first found out I’d be living with Dante. Then once he realized he was gay, well bi, but Dad thinks he’s gay. Anyway he relented. Especially when he came to visit and saw we had separate bedrooms and bathrooms.”

  “Okay. So tell him about us. Are you ashamed of me?”

  God say no. But maybe she should be. I still didn’t understand what the hell she saw in someone like me. There was nothing refined about me. The only time I listened to classical music was if it was in a commercial or a movie score. I wouldn’t know the difference between a salad fork, dessert fork, and entree fork. I’ve used chopsticks most of my life. I’m not even sure I can have a normal conversation with someone for half an hour and not slip a shit, damn, or fuck in there. Lunch with Ivy’s mom and friends was hellish in that respect. I barely spoke.

  She cocked her head to the side. “No, no that’s not it. I just want my dad to get to know you a little first. To understand how much we care for each other before I tell him. And I will. Just not this visit, okay? Do you get why?”

  “Yeah, I do.” No way in fuck was her father ever going to approve of some tattooed fighter shacking up with his baby girl. I know if we ever had a daughter I’d kill the sonofabitch who tried that shit. Whoa. Where did that thought come from? On the one hand the possibility scared the crap outta me, on the other, it excited me. But then reality had me crashing back down to earth. The clock was ticking for us. Ivy deserved to be with someone who could truly keep her safe and away from the violence dogging my life. My mood headed for the deep end of the tank again.

  “Oh I spoke to my doctor and he wants me to come in, in a few weeks. I might get my cast off then and wrap it up or get a walking cast.”

  “That’s great news.”

  “Yeah. So after I get back from Philly I might be able to get this damn thing off and we can begin exercising my ankle.”

  “That’s good, babe. But only if the doctor says it’s okay. So when do you leave?” I’d forgotten about the project she was doing with Dante. Even though Dante and I had made peace we’d never be best friends. I knew the minute I left he’d be right there to pick up the pieces. I couldn’t blame him and I knew he’d be good to her. Was better for her. Didn’t matter, though. She was mine. And I was not giving her up until the very last second I had to. Because I loved her enough to want her safe from any fallout shit. The fact she’d be gone for a couple of weeks would be a good thing. Regardless of the emptiness I already felt at the thought of being apart from her for so long.

  We returned to the waiting area and sat with her parents for a while and then they left us to grab something to eat, forcing Ben to go with them. Eventually they came back and shortly thereafter the doctor returned to talk to us. Ivy and I remained seated and her parents stood on either side of Ben. Her mom held his hand while her dad had his on Ben’s shoulder, silently offering him their presence and their support before the doctor gave them the results. Their unwavering unity punched a hole in my gut. These were good people. They cared about each other. This was Ivy’s world and i
t was normal. There were no bodyguards. No one tried to screw you over or kill you because of a business deal or because they wanted to protect their illegal trade. Just normal. I looked down at Ivy’s hand enclosed in mine. She squeezed me and I looked up at her.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Nothing. Your parents and Ben and Bev are great people.”

  “Yes, they are and they’ve accepted you as an important part of my life, too.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes.”

  Little did they know.

  We weren’t near enough to hear everything the doctor told them but we heard some of it and from the way everyone’s shoulders relaxed it seemed like good news. Allison turned to us and smiled. “She’s going to be fine kids. They got it all.”

  Ivy jumped up and rushed to her family, embracing everyone. They stood there crying and holding onto each other.

  Yeah, normal. I never felt more like an outsider watching them. The love and care they had for each other was palpable. Joe and I loved each other but we’d never really been the touchy sort until he landed in the hospital. These people showed affection like that all the time. I’m glad I had that brief kind of time with Joe, to tell him I loved him. It wasn’t till Ivy entered my life I even became aware of the different types of intimacy existing between people. Love and loyalty yes, but this was somehow different. What I saw before me I’d never been a part of. But then Ivy, my amazing Ivy, looked up and held out her hand to me. Unable to stop myself, I got up and grasped it like my life depended on it. She enclosed me in the circle. But in my heart I was well aware she couldn’t save me. It was too late.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ivy

  I lay on my side facing Maze and watching him sleep. God he took my breath away. I smiled. Such a stupid thing to think a person could be responsible for every breath you take, but nonetheless true. Cause he was. But something was wrong. I thought at first it had to do with Joe’s death, but ever since we’d gotten back from Maryland there was something forced about Maze. Like he tried to distance himself from me, from us. He was still demonstrative and loving, he’d still kiss me or hold my hand every chance he got but at night, at night he’d just hold me and fall asleep. I knew he spent most of his days in the gym.

  The new equipment had come and been installed and he’d been trying everything out. Developing an exercise routine for some of the new fighters he’d already taken on. And he even had me down there doing some upper body and core exercises. He was right, it did feel good to exercise. Even if I couldn’t do anything that put weight on my foot. He explained about some of the exercises he’d have me do once the cast was off and it made perfect sense. I actually began to believe I might have a shot. While thanks to Maze I felt optimistic about my future as a dancer, but underneath it all a thread of sadness ran through our relationship. I couldn’t put my finger on the cause only that it was there. Yet, we were happy together. I knew we were. He kissed and touched me every chance he got. There were times I’d feel eyes on me and look up to find him staring at me, and he’d wink or smile. But we’d been back from my parents for the last five days and we hadn’t made love.

  Maze who couldn’t keep his hands off me or let me keep my hands off him was too tired at night. He’d either fall into bed before I got there or long after I’d fallen asleep, and all he’d want to do was sleep. In the morning he’d usually be up before me and down in the gym.

  I’d leave in a couple of days for Philly with Dante and I aimed to change whatever held him back tonight.

  Maze lay on his side facing me but when I shifted out of his embrace he rolled onto his back, one arm flung straight out. I pulled off my t-shirt but left my boxer-style underwear on. I watched as his chest rose and fell. His breathing even, he slept on.

  Not for long.

  I scooted farther down his torso, pulling the covers up and off of him as I moved. I smiled as his body was revealed to me even though parts of him lay in shadows on the mattress. I could see enough of his shape to tell his dick lay placid against him. One leg rested stretched straight out and the other curled up.

  I made my way to the space he’d left open in the center. Lowering my head, I tasted him from base to tip. His dick pulsed. I kissed the mushroom top and it jumped to full life. I licked around the head before taking him into my mouth. He groaned, spreading his legs wider to give me easier access.

  “Ivy,” he breathed.

  “Mmm…” was all I could manage as I knelt before him and took him deeper into my mouth. Loving his texture, the size of him filling my mouth. His taste. Loving the pleasure I drew from him every time he groaned. He flexed his hips in rhythm with my movements. Pushing himself farther into my throat until I took all of him in. I wrapped one hand around his balls and his stem to hold him steady, while I sucked him off. His fingers moved and grasped my other hand that lay on the bed beside him. He entwined our fingers and squeezed as I worked him. I lifted my mouth off him and removed my hand from his so I could mount him. I still held him within my grasp, while he held on to my waist and guided me over his wet shaft. I slid him slowly into me and moaned.

  Our breaths came in and out in sync.

  His chest rose and fell. His eyes were halfway closed but they were aimed on the space where we were joined. “Ride me, baby. Take me with you.”

  And I did. I placed my palms on his chest and felt the vibration of his heart through my fingers all the way to my soul. He pulsed for me inside and out. He grasped my hands and I gripped him with my inner muscles to hold him inside of me. Continuing to hold onto his hands, I leaned back until my back almost touched the mattress between his legs. All the while he pushed into me.

  “Damn, girl.” Maze moaned.

  Using nothing but pure core strength he pulled us both up until we were face to face. I sat on his lap with him still buried deep inside of me. My arms wrapped around his neck. He buried his face in the center of my tits and kissed both sides before wrapping one hand around my waist. With his other hand, he gripped the back of my head and plastered our mouths together as he erupted inside of me and I drenched him in my cum.

  He stopped kissing me but his lips hovered over mine. His words came out more as a breath. “I love you. I need you to know that. I love you and always will.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He lifted me slightly until his dick rested calm between us. I looked down at him. I could barely see him in the dark and smiled. I rolled off him and onto the bed. He got up and walked into the bathroom. I heard the water go on in there and then he came out with a wash cloth. It was warm and he proceeded to clean between my legs. It was one of the sweetest things he’d ever done and I wanted him again. He dropped the washcloth on the floor and climbed back up on the bed. Face to face he used his knee to nudge my leg apart so he could move his leg between mine. He rested one arm under my neck the other across my hip. Leaning forward he kissed my nose. “Sleep, baby.”

  “Maze?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are we okay? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  I wanted to believe him, I did. But his face was engulfed in shadows and I couldn’t see his eyes. I wanted to believe he was still just grieving for Joe. It took me a long time to get over Shelly’s death. To function normally. So maybe all Maze needed was a little more time. And a lot of love. So I scooted even closer and he tightened his embrace. I closed my eyes, and let sleep and the feeling of safety I got from being in his arms surround me.

  ****

  Two weeks without my Maze. I’m not sure how I survived it. He’d flown out once to see me in Philly but only for two days. It would be difficult for me to navigate on one or even two crutches through the airport, and he refused to have me do so. This sucked, and even when he was here he seemed distant. But wouldn’t tell me what was up. I was miserable. I enjoyed what Dante and I had accomplished with the group of young and talented dancers. The problem came when I was alone, missing Maze, and
the thoughts I could no longer keep out of my mind pushed to the surface.

  Before I’d left New York we made love several times. Morning, noon, and night. He even corned me in the private room he’d set aside for Dante and me to practice in. He had mirrors put in and a ballet bar. He’d put in a wooden floor so we could do pointe. The day the installation was finished he took me in there and shut and locked the door. The next thing I knew he had me on the floor watching us in the mirror as we made love. I get hot for him just thinking about it. Picturing him gliding in and out of me, his flesh wet with my essence. All the while we watched each other in the mirror.

  I left him in New York thinking things were better now. That he was better and the worst of his grief put behind us. But when he’d come to Philly I wasn’t so sure. Again I couldn’t put my finger on the problem, and when I asked him about what was bothering him, he insisted everything was fine.

  I sat on the flight next to Dante, on my way back to New York, with a lot of thoughts swirling in my mind. Maze would pick me up at the airport tonight, and I wanted this settled once and for all, whatever was going on with him. Ever since Joe’s death he’d distanced himself from me and I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  Earlier that morning Dante showed me an article on his iPad. It was about two deaths that occurred in Chinatown recently. The reason it stuck with me was because I recognized the picture of one of the dead men the article talked about. He was the guy at the rooftop bar that night. The one who tried to egg Maze into a fight. He’d been beheaded by a sharp object. But the thing that had my heart racing was the rest of the article. His death might be linked to another that occurred two weeks before. Both men were known to have ties to the local Triad and the article speculated the deaths were related to a turf war. Which was why Dante showed it to me. I did not want to believe Maze knew anything about it. He had nothing to do with the Triad any more. Thank God! But what if he were in danger of some kind? What if he could have been one of those guys killed because of this war? Was he a target? I had to know.