Taming Rough Waters

by Samantha Wolfe

  I somehow managed to give him a small smile. "Have fun."

  "Oh, I will," he said with a grin. He always got perverse pleasure out of exposing cheaters. He winked at me and walked out.

  My smile slipped away to be replaced by bitter anger again as soon as he closed the door behind him. Scott was right. She had to go. I stood and stalked out of my office, intent on doing just that, but not before I confronted her about her reason for being here, and gave her a piece of my mind if what I now suspected really was true.

  CHAPTER

  ELEVEN

  ____________________

  Ella

  I sat at a table all alone in the break room at work, staring down unenthusiastically at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Violet had made me for tonight. I'd only taken one bite, and it tasted like cardboard. Not because anything was wrong with it, but because I felt lost and broken inside. My appetite was practically nonexistent.

  I tried so hard not to let my father's words from yesterday bother me, but even as an adult who knew better, old habits drilled into my head since childhood died hard. Especially when it seemed like I really had fucked up everything in my life like he'd told me I did. It seemed like every decision I'd ever made since leaving Calder had led to one mistake after another, all leading up to the empty and directionless life I had now.

  I fell prey to a manipulative and charismatic monster, who charmed me into his clutches, got me pregnant, and stole the last eleven years of my life from me in a loveless joke of a marriage. Then there was my daughter, who I loved dearly, but had no way of providing her with the future she deserved now that Ray was gone, and I was left with nothing. My vision blurred with tears as I buried my face in my hands and wept quietly when my attempts to fight them failed.

  "Ella," the familiar and deep resonant male voice called out sternly. It felt like a barb piercing painfully into my already wounded and battered heart, reminding me of what I'd thrown away and would never have again.

  I snapped my head up to find Calder in the break room doorway, giving me a disapproving glare that faltered slightly as he focused on my tear-stained face. He looked stunning in a dark-blue suit that was perfectly fitted to his tall muscular frame. The lighter blue shade of his dress shirt made his eyes pop as they seemed to pierce into me.

  I wiped at my eyes frantically in embarrassment as my body instantly reacted to him with lust and aching need despite his obvious disdain for me at this moment. I'd hoped not to see him at all today after that kiss that had rattled me to the core and confused the hell out of me. That was too much to hope for, and seemed par for the course, given the hopelessness that endlessly infected the rest of my life right now

  "I need to speak with you in my office," he said authoritatively as his expression hardened. "Now," he added sharply, the lines of his body tense and rigid as he turned and walked back out into the hall without another word.

  I sighed as I stared at the empty doorway, wondering what fresh hell my life was going to hand me next. Was he going to fire me this time? Probably. I ignored the tiny part of me that wanted him to kiss me again, hoping it would lead to more since I was so lonely and hadn't felt desired or wanted in so long. I was so pathetic. I stood, then carried my lunch to the trash and dropped it in before trailing slowly after Calder with a heavy heart, my stomach roiling with dread.

  Calder's office door was cracked open when I approached it, after passing Gwen's thankfully unoccupied desk. Anxiety had tension tightening across my shoulders almost painfully as I paused for a moment in an attempt to calm myself. It didn't work one little bit, so I gritted my teeth and forced myself to walk in.

  I found Calder leaning back in his chair behind his desk with a grim and forbidding expression, and his arms crossed over his chest. Yup, this wasn't going to be pleasant, not one little bit, even if he did look unbelievably sexy and made my body practically swoon. I looked away, not wanting him to see my reaction and letting my eyes wander around the room to avoid his hard gaze.

  His office was traditionally masculine, with lots of burnished gray fabric and brushed steel, but the rich dark wooden desk, the colorful artwork, and pops of cream kept it warm and welcoming. Something that Calder most definitely was not right now.

  "Close the door and have a seat," he said in a tone that brooked no argument as he motioned toward a chair in front of his desk.

  I nodded as I pushed the door closed behind me. I walked over to sink down onto the chair, shrinking into myself and feeling uneasy and vulnerable as I stared at my clasped hands. Several uncomfortable moments of silence passed as I waited for the other shoe to drop on the mess that was my life. I would walk out of here unemployed and have to go to my father with my tail between my legs and ask him about that job at the hospital. I could already see the smug and "I told you so" look in eyes right now. I'd never live it down. My eyes burned in shame.

  "I know why you're here," Calder snapped out accusingly, his tone whip sharp and crackling with barely contained anger.

  My head flew up in surprise to meet his fierce and fiery blue gaze, my own wide and incredulous now. He sat up in his chair, his fingers curling around the front of the cloth arm rests and digging in until his knuckles turned white. The blue fire in his eyes flamed brighter as his lip curled up in disdain.

  "You think I wouldn't realize or figure it out?" he snarled at me. "I didn't claw my way up out of The Armpit to get where I am today by being a gullible fool or allowing anyone to use me."

  What? I jerked back in my seat, thrown off and confused by his words and intimidated by his vitriolic tone.

  "You left me behind like I was nothing, and found your precious financial security that I couldn't give you," he continued sarcastically with a hard and acerbic edge of unmistakable pain that I don't think he even realized was slipping out. "You sold your soul to the devil for it, and now that Raymond Voss is fucking dead, you've set your greedy gold-digging sights on me, thinking you could use our history to your advantage." He stood and leaned out over his desk to stare balefully down at me. "That will never fucking happen," he growled out, slapping his palm down hard on the desk and making me flinch.

  I blinked up at him in complete shock. This was what he thought I was here for? To use him for financial gain. The utter ridiculousness of it was astounding. All Ray's money and wealth ever did was suck the very life out of me. It got me a man who treated me like the dirt under his shoe and his own personal slave. I didn't want anybody else's money. I just wanted to earn enough to have a life of my own. I never wanted to hurt Calder again either. I'd obviously done enough damage to him already, and the guilt would follow me for the rest of my joke of a life.

  An overwhelming and heavy weight of despair and hopelessness fell over me. My chest hurt and I suddenly couldn't breath as it all became too much to bear. The pressure of all the stress I was under welled up and up inside me until I couldn't take it anymore. It felt like something inside me broke then, shattering the fragile armor I'd erected around my heart to hold it together for my daughter and to protect myself. It let loose all the pain and anguish I'd shoved down deep inside me in a brutal tidal wave that swept my sanity away. Like a burst damn, tears instantly poured from my eyes as almost hysterical sobs spewed out of my mouth. Calder's eyes widened, and his head jerked back at my sudden emotional reaction.

  "Y...you think I'm a g...gold-digger?" I asked incredulously between sobs. "I'm not. I'm...I'm just a worthless piece of shit. Someone who...who walked away from the best thing that ever happened to her and let a m...monster into her life instead, a monster who made me think he loved me. He got me p...pregnant. He said he'd marry me, take care of me, but it was all a f...fucking lie. All...all I was to him was a brood mare, and a hole to f...fuck when he felt like it. By the time I figured it out it was too late to get out. He threatened to make sure I never saw my daughter again if I ever left him. R...Ray took everything from me, my life, my freedom, my future. Everything.

  "Financial securi
ty," I added bitterly. I let out a bark of almost maniacal laughter. "What a fucking joke. All it ever gave me was pain and heartache, and now that Ray's dead I'm left with nothing. I'm nothing, and I got what deserved for what I did to you." I sucked in a shuddering breath. "So go ahead and fire me. I deserve that too."

  Calder just stood there, his mouth gaping as he stared at me in startled shock as sobs continued to rack my body. I couldn't bear to meet his eyes anymore and curled forward, burying my face in my hands and continuing to weep bitterly. Everything I'd been holding in for so long had finally broken free in a violent emotional torrent that I couldn't seem to stop. All that was left now was for Calder to fire me, so I could hit rock bottom, and then run out of here like the whipped dog I felt like inside.

  CHAPTER

  TWELVE

  ____________________

  Calder

  I watched in stunned silence as Ella fell apart right in front of me. Her slender frame shook violently with uncontrollable sobs, her body hunching over as she covered her face with her hands. It wasn't an act. That much was clear to me from her desperate and agonized words. She was broken and lost. I knew that feeling well, and the part of me that wanted to gloat and revel in her suffering was fading fast in the wake of my empathy.

  It pained me to see her like this and broke my heart, no matter how I might wish the feeling away. Without a conscious thought, I rounded my desk and went to her, dropping to my knees on the rug next to her chair. I reached out to brush my hand over her flaxen hair. It was just as soft as I remembered.

  "Ella," I murmured gently, longing to comfort her, to soothe her. I ignored the voice of self-preservation inside my head that told me to stay the hell away from her, that still wanted to hate her.

  She let out another painful racking sob and flung herself out of her chair at me. She collapsed against me as I automatically wrapped my arms around her. Her hands latched into my suit jacket, her fingers clutching tightly into the fabric as she pressed her face to my chest. I held her shuddering body close and laid my cheek on her head. The familiar and sweet citrus scent of her filled my nose, making my heart clench and my body yearn for her.

  What was she doing to me? I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be feeling like this. She was the enemy, the instrument of pain and destruction that nearly destroyed me, yet I couldn't stop holding her. I couldn't let her go as she fell apart in my arms for several long heart-wrenching minutes. Part of me never wanted it to end.

  "I'm...I'm...I'm s...s...sorry," she hiccuped out between tearing sobs. She lifted her head and met my eyes, her face a twisted mask of pain and agony that glittered with tears. "So...so s...sorry."

  I stared down at her face helplessly, unable to speak, taking in those familiar and so beautiful steel-blue eyes, those plush heart-shaped lips. I was suddenly very much aware of her soft pliable body in my arms, her breasts pressing up against me and her ragged breaths making them rise and fall so hypnotically. Lust hit me like a fist, slamming into me and chasing all coherent thought away. I wanted her. I wanted her so fucking badly. I hadn't felt anything like it in so long, not in twelve long years.

  She gasped in my arms as her eyes flew wide, and I knew she felt it too, this desperate need, this desperate desire. Her lips parted in an invitation that I didn't think she was even conscious of, and I lost any semblance of control I had left and gave in.

  The next thing I knew, our mouths were crashing together in a blistering kiss that sent fiery electric heat through my entire body. I pushed demandingly at the seam of her soft lips and parted them with my tongue, delving it in to twist and tangle with hers. The kiss deepened, and I gripped her ass in one hand and the hair at the back of her head in the other. I mindlessly pushed my now throbbing erection against her pelvis, growling with want and need.

  Ella mewled so sweetly into my mouth as her fingers twisted into my hair, her legs wrapping around my waist as she ground her core against me. Holy fuck, I wanted her so much that I couldn't take it anymore, couldn't think past the lust burning me up inside. I flew to my feet with her still latched onto me. I turned to my desk and released her hair, flinging my arm out to shove everything out of my way. Papers went flying and my laptop thumped onto the floor, but I couldn't care less. I laid her on her back across the desk, following her down and brutishly rutting my hips against her.

  "Ella," I growled against her mouth, before blazing a trail with teeth and lips down to her neck, sucking and nipping hard at her tender flesh as I went. She smelled and tasted so good. I laved my tongue against her skin, relishing the desperate whimpers she made in reaction.

  Her hands began grabbing desperately at my collar in an attempt to push my suit jacket off. I let go of her just long enough to pull it off and throw it aside. I pounced on her again, pulling her shirt up out of her pants and shoving it up to expose her black lacy bra. I grabbed its front closure in clumsy fingers and somehow managed to unfasten it, letting her breasts spill out. I stared down at them in utter fascination for a moment. Fuck, I'd forgotten just how beautiful they were, so round and soft. Her erect nipples were perfect pink little buds.

  Ella made a desperate whimper and fisted my shirt in her hands, pulling me back down to her. I let her, immediately latching my mouth onto one breast, licking and sucking on her pert little nipple as I roughly kneaded the other in my hand. I flicked my tongue across the tight little nub, taking the other between my fingertips. I bit down and at the same time squeezed and twisted with my fingers. She arched her back with a soft cry of pleasure, her fingers sinking into my hair and weaving into it to tug sharply and painfully at the strands. Fuck, I loved it, the sweet bite across my scalp making my blood surge and sing with desire. I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. I needed to be inside her now.

  I straightened and clawed open the zipper of her pants. Ella reached up and pulled my shirt out of my slacks, her fingers flying over the buttons as she swiftly unfastened them. When they were all undone, I started shrugging out of my shirt, desperate to have her skin against mine. I paused as a sudden wave of panic fell over me. I couldn't risk letting her see my needle track scars, couldn't let her see what I did to myself. I was too ashamed.

  She made an impatient noise, and started pushing my shirt off my shoulders herself. I immediately grabbed her hands in a firm grip to stop her.

  "No," I growled out harshly, putting power and dominance into my voice.

  She instantly stilled, her eyes going wide in surprise, but her body immediately went soft and pliant in instinctual submission. Holy fuck. I hadn't expected that, and it sent my lust soaring into the stratosphere. Mine, mine, mine, the Dom inside me suddenly chanted, rejoicing at her reaction with a possessiveness I'd never felt before, wanting to control her, take her, claim her.

  I snarled and shoved her hands above her head, bracketing her wrists together there with one hand. "Don't move your hands," I told her fiercely through clenched teeth.

  I let go of her wrists, and she obeyed. She curled her fingers over the edge of the desk as her body reacted to my command again, arching up in a silent plea for more as her lips parted and a soft submissive sigh slipped out. Fuck. I was undone.

  In a frantic and violent rush, I shoved her pants down her hips and pulled them off along with her shoes. I grabbed the front of her panties and tore them from her body with a loud rending tear as the fragile lace gave way. Ella gasped in surprise and moaned deeply as her hips bucked up toward me. I could smell her arousal, thick and musky and so feminine. I swiftly undid my pants and pulled out my aching and leaking cock, desperate now to fill her, to penetrate her. I lined myself up with her slick and soaked core, and did just that, driving into her with one brutal thrust that was so hard and deep it moved the desk several inches forward. We both cried out. The wet heat of her pussy was so tight all around my cock, her insides pulsing and fluttering as if trying to draw me in deeper. I didn't remember her ever feeling this good before, but it had been such a long time.

  "Ella,"
I groaned out as I stilled above her, my body trembling as I fought for control over the release that threatened to unman me already. "So tight, so warm, so good."

  Her eyes were wide and dilated with her arousal, her plush lips parted as she moaned in pleasure. I leaned over and kissed her, sucking her lower lip between my teeth and worrying at it with a low animalistic growl. Her taste drove me insane. She mewled and writhed under me, her hands coming up to twine in my hair again. She pulled and twisted, the pain sending me out of control once more.

  I pulled my hips back and slid halfway out then slammed into her again. Sparks fired behind my eyelids and shivered through me as the thrust forced a keening sound from Ella's lips. Fuck, it felt so good, and I wanted more. I wanted all of it. I reached down between us and found her clit with my thumb. I rubbed small circles into it as I began thrusting deep and forcefully in and out of her pussy with firm measured strokes, her juices already soaking both of us.

  I moved to put my lips next to her ear. "You're going to come for me," I told her, my voice deep and husky and strained as I continued to pump in and out of her. I pressed my thumb more firmly into her sweet flesh. "You know you want to. You know you're going to."

  "Yes, Calder," she whimpered out so softly, so sweetly, and shuddered under me. "Please, Calder."

  I ignored the surge of happiness that sang in my heart at hearing her say my name like that, begging and pleading for me. I wrapped my free hand around the back of her neck, my thumb coming around to rest on her pulse point, so I could feel her heart rate flutter under her feverish skin.

  "You're going to splinter apart and give me everything," I told her, my voice firm, yet still deep and seductive.

  I shifted my hips until my cock hit a new spot deep inside that made her gasp and cry out. I knew I was on the right track, and sped up the pace. I hit that same spot again and again and again, harder and faster as her body grew tighter and tighter with tension. She arched up into me as she gasped with each thrust, her soft breasts pressing up against the hot bare skin of my chest.