Taming Rough Waters

by Samantha Wolfe

  "I'm going to fuck your pretty mouth now, Ella," Calder said in a low seductive tone that made my pussy clench. "You're going to take all of me, every fucking inch, my lovely."

  "Yes, sir," I whimpered out wantonly, even though he hadn't asked me a question.

  "I want you to keep your hands behind your back," he commanded. "If you touch me, I stop immediately." He reached out with his free hand to caress my cheek. "Do you understand?"

  I looked up to see a bit of softness in his lust maddened eyes. He was giving me an out if I couldn't handle it, a way to stop if it was too much for me. See? He was already taking care of me, just like I knew he would.

  Yes, sir," I whispered with a nod as I clasped my hands behind my back.

  His face hardened back into the calm and controlled Dom again. His hand slid around to the back of my head and suddenly fisted in my hair as his eyes sparked blue fire. "Open for me now," he demanded fiercely as he stepped closer.

  I obeyed, and Calder fed his cock to me. The sweet salty taste of him hit my tongue as he pushed past my lips and into my eager mouth spread wide to accept him. I breathed in his warm and irresistible masculine musk, and let out a long and appreciative blissful moan. I gnarled my fingers tightly together to keep from touching him. I didn't want him to stop, ever.

  "Yes," he groaned out hoarsely as he pushed in deeper. "So hot, so soft, so fucking good."

  His hand tightened in my hair as he pulled out halfway with a low moan. He thrust in with a deep growl, bumping against the back of my throat. He pulled back yet again, his other hand joining the other twisted in my hair before thrusting in even deeper as I pressed my swirling tongue up against the underside of his cock. His skin was soft like silk, his shaft rock fucking hard. It felt so good.

  "Oh fuck, yes," he mumbled out helplessly before sucking in a harsh hissing breath. He pushed in deeper still, growling as he made me gag a little. "That's right, Ella. Take all of me."

  He thrust faster, harder, a harsh masculine grunt punctuating each one as he fucked my mouth with abandon, swearing and snarling savagely. Saliva leaked from the corners of my mouth, dripping down my chin and soaking him as it eased his passage in and out of me. I felt claimed, wanted, and used in the very best way. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else meant a damn thing, but the way our bodies moved together toward ecstasy. I loved all of it, never wanted it to end, as I fought the urge to grab on to the backs of his thighs and hold on for dear life.

  His body suddenly shuddered, his cock swelling even larger in my mouth. Yes. This was what I wanted, for him to lose control and come in my mouth. His fingers tightened painfully in my hair as he thrust fiercely into me once more, then cried out, his shout loud and bestial as his dick began jerking inside my mouth. Long jets of hot cum bathed the back of my throat as I hummed happily and swallowed down every drop of his salty goodness.

  I looked up the length of his body and watched him tremble and convulse through his orgasm, his face slack and his eyes rolled back in his head as pleasure shivered through him. It was so beautiful, absolutely breathtaking, and all my doing. When he finally finished and pulled out of my mouth, he looked down at me with a dazed and stunned expression.

  "Good girl, Ella," he said hoarsely as a slow satisfied smile spread across his full decadent lips.

  I shivered, thinking I could almost come from his approval alone, and grinned broadly up at him, feeling smug with myself. He slid a hand from my hair and cupped my cheek in his big warm palm, gliding his thumb over my lips to wipe away a leftover drop of semen. I sucked his thumb into my mouth and licked it clean with an appreciative moan. His eyes flew wide and brightened, his cock already twitching with renewed interest.

  "Oh, Ella," he groaned out deeply, his voice laced with desire as he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up into his arms. He held me close, cradling my face against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding under my cheek. "Oh, baby," he added in a soft whisper.

  Shit, he hadn't called me "baby" since before I left him, before I broke his heart and destroyed our love in the process. It made my heart sing and seem to flip around in my chest, but I couldn't read too much into it or let it mean anything. This was just a fling, a temporary insanity. He couldn't possibly ever want me again. I'd hurt him too badly for that. I blinked back tears of bitter disappointment, not wanting him to see them. I had to take this for what it was, and enjoy it for however long it lasted, before I was alone and miserable again.

  He abruptly scooped me up in his arms, startling a squeak out of me, and thankfully distracting me from the depressing turn of my thoughts. The next thing I knew he was sitting on the edge of the bed and manhandling me across his lap face down on the mattress with my ass in the air. Oh God, it felt vulnerable and dirty. I liked it.

  "You've been a bad girl, my lovely," he growled out seductively as his right palm glided over my ass. "You need punished for making me lose control like that. Don't you?"

  Oh my God, he was going to spank me. The thought made my sex clench, and my hips wiggle unconsciously in his lap. I'd really liked it when he spanked me a few times the last time we had sex, and I wanted it again. I could feel his erection growing under me. Oh boy.

  "Answer me, Ella," he demanded in a sharp admonishing tone.

  "Yes, sir," I whimpered. "Please, sir."

  "Mm," he growled. "Begging already?" His hand slid down to graze my pussy, and I shivered and moaned. "I like it. And so wet too? You are a bad girl, aren't you?"

  "Yes, sir," I whispered.

  He suddenly clutched my hair in a tight fist and stilled the hand on my ass. "You've earned each stroke, and you will hold still and count each one for me, my lovely," he told me fiercely, then added in a softer tone, "If you need to stop, you will tell me immediately. Understood?"

  "Yes, Calder. Yes, sir," I whimpered out waveringly, my body trembling with desire now. I sounded desperate, and wanton, and nothing like the woman I usually was. Being dominated, my body and pleasure controlled like this, by him, was cathartic, freeing, and just what I needed to forget everything and just be in the moment, to just feel.

  The first strike fell on my right cheek, jarring me with its stinging heat before he began rubbing it into warm pleasure.

  "Count, Ella," he warned, "or you don't get to come."

  "One!" I forced out breathlessly.

  He spanked me twice more as I gasped out the number of each one, then he slid his fingers down to my sex. "You're completely soaked and so swollen, my lovely. You love being spanked, don't you?"

  "Y...yes, sir," I replied plaintively. "More, sir."

  He let out a darkly satisfied chuckle that had my sex throbbing, then began spanking me again, punctuating each one with a low growl of appreciation. It was all I could do to remember to count, desperate for him to let me come. My ass burned. My body quaked. I loved all of it, every exquisite sensation, every bite of pain, the sweet euphoria. It chased away my demons, calmed the raging storm of self-doubt in my head, and settled the constant heartache that sat heavy in my chest. I never wanted it to end, never wanted to come back to reality.

  Finally, as I yelled out the twelfth stroke, he took mercy on me. He drilled two fingers deep into my aching pussy as he pressed his thumb directly onto my clit.

  "Come, Ella," he demanded sharply, and my body flew apart, shattering and splintering as pure pleasure detonated out from my core. All coherent thought was swept away in its wake, all awareness beyond my release gone. When my senses finally managed to return again, I was being flipped onto my back to sprawl limply across the bed. A moment later, a now naked Calder was hovering over me, his massive erection nudging at my core as his eyes blazed with lust. Yes.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him to me as he thrust deeply into me with one fierce snap of his powerful hips. He pulled back and did it again, angling his hips and driving into me, hitting my G-spot with unerring accuracy and sending me soaring once more. I screamed, and Calder's mouth captured it, breathi
ng it in as he kissed me and fucked me with a fierce possessiveness like I'd never felt from him before. I flailed around with my hands, clawing at his neck, his back, yanking at his hair. He snatched up my wrists and pushed them up above my head, bracketing them in place with one firm hand, still kissing me, still pounding into me. I lifted my hips to meet each thrust, wanting him deeper, closer, to meld into one with me.

  His pace faltered. His breath caught. He groaned and arched up above me, then pressed in deep, shuddering all over as he exploded inside me, the feel of his cock swelling and jerking inside me setting off my own release.

  "Ella!" he cried out. "Oh fuck, Ella!"

  I screamed incoherently as my release wrecked me and sent me careening into utter mindless oblivion. I lost all sense of time, or place, or self. When I finally came back down I was curled up in Calder's lap as he sat on his throne, safe, secure, and my mind calm and serene for the first time in years. I became aware of his arms cradling me and his face nuzzling mine.

  "I've got you, my lovely Ella," he murmured softly, so sweetly. "I've got you, baby."

  His words as much as his gentle tone made my heart abruptly seize with longing, with hope, with love. Shit, I still loved Calder, had never stopped loving him for all these twelve long years, and with my realization came the certainty that he would never return that love again, not in a million years. I was hit with a harsh dose of reality, and my short-lived serenity winked out and disappeared.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-SIX

  ____________________

  Calder

  Inadequacy and insecurity were emotions I hadn't felt in a very long time, and they'd been steadily worming their way into my mind over the last four days. I didn't like it, not one damn bit, but I couldn't shake it, and now as I drove to Ella's house to pick her and her daughter up to go swimming at my house, those feelings were worsening.

  Ella had been distant and standoffish with me since we played in my private room Thursday night. She'd been quiet and subdued when we parted ways at Désir Dangereux afterwords. At the time, I attributed it to the after-effects of subspace, the euphoric rush of endorphins that came with BDSM play. I'd given her plenty of aftercare to help her ease down from the high, holding her and cuddling her for quite some time, giving her water and some chocolate too. She should have been fine, but apparently she wasn't.

  She barely acknowledged or spoke to me the few times I saw her during her weekend shifts at The Indigo Room, and I suspected she was actively avoiding me. On the security feeds she still seemed diminished, lost, and the light that I'd hoped to rekindle inside her by giving her the escape and release that BDSM play could provide, hadn't seemed to ignite even a spark. I didn't know what I did wrong, but it left me feeling inadequate and lost myself. I didn't know why I was surprised that she was turning away from me, or why it bothered me so much. I wasn't enough for her twelve years ago when she left me. Why should anything be different now?

  An aching pain throbbed in my chest. The same pain I'd been having since Thursday night, a ghost of the once familiar pain from twelve years ago. The same pain that kept me up the last four nights, and even now was triggering yet another heroin craving. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to focus on the road as a pit seemed to open in my stomach, and my heart began to race. Fuck, I wanted a hit. I wanted to shoot up so badly. It was all I could do not to turn the car around and head straight for The Armpit to try to score some right now.

  It had been like this on and off all weekend, hurting over thoughts of Ella and then craving heroin, dreaming about it, fantasizing about it. I'd been exercising myself into exhaustion everyday to try to stave them off, and even resorted to visiting my mother yesterday afternoon, but the cravings were still happening. I was starting to think I might need help, some meds or to go to a meeting, maybe talk to Scott, but I wasn't doing any of those things. No, I was driving to the home of the source of it all like a fool. Why? Because of the sense of connection and the endorphin high I'd gotten when we played had been like nothing I'd ever felt with a sub before. If I couldn't have heroin, maybe being with Ella again would give my body what it wanted.

  I'd felt like a god while dominating Ella, like pure raw energy. My senses had seemed magnified, making everything larger than life, and my mind strong and focused. I'd felt more like myself than ever before. I'd felt closer to Ella too, the intimate connection with her feeling so good, so right, like we were one. I had never felt like that with any of my other subs before, not once.

  I'd heard other Doms talk about feeling that way during a scene, but had never experienced myself the high and the amplified sense of awareness that people in the lifestyle called Domspace. I wanted to feel like that with her again. I think I was in withdrawal from it, and feared it was as much to blame for my heroin cravings as the pain of Ella's apparent rejection. Maybe if I talked to her, I could figure out what was going on in her head, and get her to play with me again. Maybe then I could quell the cravings before I gave in to them and destroyed my life all over again.

  I focused on my breathing the rest of the way to Ella's place, and had myself somewhat calmed and back in control by the time I pulled up in front of the house. I parked behind an old beige Ford Taurus, and climbed out of my Tesla. I'd only taken two steps onto the sidewalk when the front door flew open and Violet burst out of the house. She came down the sidewalk toward me at a dead run.

  "Calder!" she shouted happily, her flaxen hair flying around behind her and a huge grin on her face. She practically slammed into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging me fiercely.

  "Hey, kid," I replied with a smile, my heart clenching in a good way as I hugged her back.

  She smelled like bubblegum today, and was dressed in purple yet again. It must be her favorite color. How fitting. I was so enamored with this kid. She was sassy, smart, and so loving, exactly what I would have wanted if I'd ever had a kid. I ignored the little pang of resentment-tinged loss that pierced me when it made me think of what I could have had with Ella.

  She leaned away to look up at me. "Mom said she didn't think you were coming today," she said.

  "I said I'd be here, didn't I?" I asked with a small frown. Why would Ella think that? "I always keep my promises, Violet."

  Her grin widened as she grabbed one of my hands. "Will you swim with me today?"

  "Sure thing, kid," I told her as she began dragging me toward the house. It looked like I'd have to figure out where the hell my bathing suit was tucked away.

  She grew quiet as we approached the front door. She stopped and turned toward me with a frown. "Grandpa's here," she said in a sad worried voice. "He was really mean to Mom the last time he came over. He made her cry."

  Tears glistened in Violet's big dark-green eyes, and it broke my heart and pissed me off. I'd never cared for Ella's overbearing father, and the feeling was mutual. Nothing Ella did was ever good enough for that man unless it was something he'd told her to do. He'd been the same way with Ella's mom, and it was no wonder her mother divorced him and moved out of state long before I even met Ella.

  "I don't like him very much," she added with a deep frown.

  "Neither do I, kid," I grumbled out with a scowl.

  She cocked her head and eyed me questioningly. "You know Grandpa?"

  Well, fuck. I'd forgotten that Violet had no idea about my history with her mother. I was fairly certain Ella didn't want her to know we used to be a couple or were involved now. She'd been very careful not to touch me too familiarly in front of her daughter. Considering the kid had just lost her father a few months ago, I couldn't blame her.

  "Your mom and I used to be friends a long time ago, before she moved away," I explained as vaguely as I could. "Let's go in and make sure she's okay," I continued as I gestured toward the door, hoping to distract her from asking anything else about my relationship with Ella. I was relieved when she nodded and led me into the house.

  I could hear a man's voice as we crossed
the living room. The words became clearer as we walked down the short hall toward the kitchen.

  "I can't believe you're still working at that filthy nightclub," the gruff male voice said in a disgusted tone.

  I gritted my teeth and growled under my breath. That filthy nightclub was my pride and joy. What a shocker. Her dad was still an asshole.

  "Dad," Ella replied in a tense and exasperated tone. "It's a perfectly respectable job just like any other. It pays well and has benefits too."

  "What? Are you going to wait tables for the rest of your life?" he asked bitingly. "Maybe instead of living off your rich husband, you should have done something more with your life."

  Silence was Ella's only reply as Violet and I entered the kitchen. Ella was sitting at the small kitchen table across from her father facing me as I walked in. Her head was bowed as she stared down at the table, and her lips were pressed together like they did when she was trying not to cry. A corner of my lip twitched into a sneer as I glared at the back of her father's head.

  "Mom?" Violet said in a concerned tone.

  "The adults are talking now Vi-" Ed Morris began in an irritated voice that cut off as he turned to see me standing next to Violet in the doorway of the kitchen. His eyes narrowed. "Who the hell are you?" he asked sharply.

  The bastard didn't even recognize me. I wasn't really surprised. He barely spoke to me or acknowledged me when Ella and I were dating, but for fuck's sake, we were together for two years. My dislike for him intensified.

  "Calder Rennen," I replied tersely, then nearly snorted in disgust when he didn't recognize my name either. He didn't bother to introduce himself. Asshole.

  I glanced away from him and looked at Ella to see a surprised and relieved expression on her face along with a brief flash of longing in her eyes. It disappeared so quickly that I wasn't even sure it was real. I'd ponder that later. Right now, I needed to get her away from her toxic father.