My Friends Are Dead People

by Tony Ortiz

“Hello, there,” said Lin, who had to crane his head all the way back to look up at the monster. “Nice costume. Make sure you don’t go near the tigers. It’ll sure cause–”

  Before he could finish, Lin was flung into the wall.

  “And over there on the grassy plain,” he mumbled, sprawled out on the ground, “are . . . sea turtles and dolphins. Their pectoral fins help . . . it move through the lava. . . Oh, I feel dizzy. Let’s reschedule our tour.”

  His ears flicked. He looked panicked.

  “Mom! Bumble bees are coming! Mom! They’re coming for me!”

  The giant cloth hands snatched Katie right off the bridge and held her over the side.

  “Leave her alone!” I screamed, clutching a torch I had just taken from the wall. “I’ll burn you!”

  Katie kicked the mummy in the head, and I threw the torch at him. He easily put out the flames by summoning a rain cloud, but at that moment Katie clocked him in the head with a rock. The halloween lost his balance and went tumbling over the edge.

  “That’s right!” Katie cried out scornfully after the falling mummy.

  I ran over to the edge and watched the mummy plunge into the lava below.

  “Hey, the tour’s not over yet,” said Lin, getting up to his feet. “We haven’t gotten to the animals yet–”

  “Lin, there are no animals!” I snapped. “This is not a zoo!”

  “I know. This is a wild animal park. We don’t call it a zoo anymore.”

  “He’s a psycho,” concluded Katie, coming up beside me.

  “What should we do? It looks like only Jacoby knows how to snap him out of it.”

  “Quiet, tourists,” Lin whispered, peeking into a light-flickering tunnel, “we are nearing the tigers.”

  Katie and I followed him, reluctantly going along with the charade.

  “Oh, we are very close,” said Lin’s echoing voice over the muffled sounds of clanging steel and heavy rattling. “I can hear the children of the wild.”

  “What do you suppose . . .” said Katie.

  The next area was a room of stacked cages holding goblins, mummies, zombies, and a massive red gorilla puffing red fumes. Lin walked around, nodding.

  “I wonder why they’re locked up,” said Katie.

  “Whatever the reason, we should keep it that way,” I replied, eyeing a creature inside a dark cage in the middle. All I could see were two big meaty green legs hanging off a rock bed. The calves were huge, and the ankles were as thick as my waist.

  “That thing’s creepy, no?” said Katie, looking in with me.

  “I think it’s sleeping,” I said.

  “It’s dead,” said Lin. “Halloweens rarely sleep. Our days are too precious to waste. Not sure what that is and why it’s held captive in the zoo, but . . . Oh! Look here!”

  We went over to Lin. He was pointing at a spiked goblin.

  “Okay, here is what is known as a clouded leopard.”

  The goblin’s gleaming eyes narrowed.

  “They’re not something to laugh at, Katie. The name comes from their cloud-like spots. If you can see, their pupils are neither round, nor narrow. This one looks angry – why don’t we move on to the gorilla?”

  Lin walked across to the opposite side, stopping at a large empty shelf built into the wall.

  “Jesse, stay where you are. Don’t come any closer,” he warned.

  But I was already there. A mysterious red box was resting alone on the second shelf.

  “What is that?”

  “Jesse, there’s a way out of here,” beckoned Katie by an open door. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Something was written on the box. I looked closer.

  Jesse

  “Don’t open that,” ordered Katie.

  “She’s right,” said Lin. “The zoo holds many mysteries that shouldn’t be toyed with.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off my name. Someone knew that someday I would come here.

  “Jesse,” alerted Katie. “Lin’s changing again. Lin?”

  “Hey, Katie,” he said in his regular childish voice. “I can’t believe we got past sarscas and a mummy! Katie, you were amazing! Jesse, that was a good throw! We did so well!”

  Katie and I smiled.

  “Hey, Lin!” we said simultaneously.

  Lin took the box and looked at it. He didn’t inspect it, but just stared at it. “You going to open it?” he asked. “Looks like something’s inside.”

  “But you just told him not to,” reminded Katie.

  “Yeah, but that was then. Come on, Jesse, open it.”

  I took the box from Lin. Why would my name be on it? I had never been here before. I thought about the box that Oz had put the envelope in–

  Katie ripped the box out of my hands. “You’re not going to open it!”

  “Why not?” I said, trying to take it from her.

  “It’s a trap! Lorseria is trying to use your curiosity against you.”

  “But how would you know? I don’t care anyway. I’m going to open it.”

  Lin took the box away from Katie and held it to his ear. “Nothing’s moving inside.” He shook it hard.

  “Stop!” I shouted, yanking it away from him. “You’ll break it.”

  “Yeah, Katie’s right. I have a bad feeling about this . . . something from the past.”

  “What if it triggers the cages to open?” said Katie.

  “Yeah,” agreed Lin. “I’d hate you forever, Jesse.”

  “I’m opening it,” I announced. I popped open the top and pulled out a note and a small key.

  “What’s the note say?” said Lin, leaning over my shoulder.

  I knew you would open it! This is a key to open any of the cages you like, but choose wisely or this mistake will be your last. There is one who will not harm you. And the door is now shut.

  Lorseria

  Both of the doors leading to the room slammed shut – the one to the right and the one we came in through – locking us in with the scary and strange samhains.

  “We’re going to die!” cried Lin. “I told you! Why didn’t you listen to me? I’m not due to die yet!”

  “We should’ve gone through the door, Jesse,” said Katie, shaking her head.

  “Okay, let’s just choose one,” I said, knowing that was all we could do.

  There was a short silence; and then growls, moans, and whispers came from all the cages. I walked over to the samhain with the giant green legs.

  “Can you step forward?” I said. “I may release you if I can get a look at you first.”

  The legs didn’t budge. I looked closer and noticed a name tag on the right ankle.

  Franky

  “Fine. Have it your way, Franky. I’m not letting you out then.”

  “It’s dead, I told you,” said Lin, peeking into another cage. “What’s its name, Jesse? Does it have a name tag?”

  “What about this?” suggested Katie at the other end.

  I walked over to the tiny cage she was looking at. A red-eared rat was snoozing underneath a blanket of hay. Its name was Sloop.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I guess it does look pretty innocent.”

  “Let’s look at some more first.” Katie spotted a tall ladder and immediately climbed up to the second level of cages.

  “Katie, careful! They might grab you!”

  “I’m fine, Oz,” teased Katie, stepping onto the ledge.

  “What do you see?”

  “A blonde furry thing. Kind of looks like Sandy–” Something fiercely rammed itself into the bars of the cage. “Okay, no, not this one.”

  She climbed to the third level, which looked unstable. She nearly lost her footing at the top. I clutched my face.

  “Don’t go too high,” I said nervously.

  “Anything else, Oz?”

  “I am not – just hurry up.”

  There was some clattering in a cell near me and Lin, directly underneath Katie.

  “Hey, pick me, I’m funny,” said a litt
le bearded man. He was fiddling with his crusted fingers and toes. His name was . . . Pick Me.

  “You want me to tell you a joke?” he croaked. “Okay, okay, fine. There was Hell and Heaven; bad and good. And now they’re friends! Get it?”

  The little man tumbled over, laughing, kicking his feet, and tossing clumps of hay up in the air.

  “I don’t get it,” I said.

  “This monster’s stupid,” said Lin.

  “Let’s pick him. He’s a perfect choice.”

  “Hey, want to hear another one?” said the dwarf. “This one gets the flying candy. Okay, okay, don’t get too excited.”

  We weren’t.

  “There was a foul odor . . .” The man pressed his face against the bars and whispered secretively, “then everyone ran and screamed. Ha-ha-ha!”

  The man fell over, cracking up.

  “I kind of get it,” I said, “but it’s not funny.”

  “It does look friendly,” added Katie, joining Lin and me.

  The man grinned, revealing crooked yellow teeth.

  “Gross,” said Katie. “Brush your teeth.”

  “So, what do you think, Lin? Lin?”

  Lin was looking into another cage at a purple woman with black spots.

  “Hello, Lin,” said the woman in a beautiful chirping voice, sitting on a bench deep in the shadows.

  Lin and I stuck our heads through the bars to get a better look. Her eyes were watery, and she had black eyeliner smeared down her cheeks.

  “Katie, we found the one–” I called excitedly. I cleared my throat and asked, “What’s your name?”

  “Lowl,” she said sadly.

  “That’s a pretty name.”

  “Beautiful name,” declared Lin.

  “Who locked you up?” asked Katie rudely.

  “Katie, be nice,” I said.

  “What do you mean ‘be nice’?” she snapped at me strangely.

  I ignored her and stared back at Lowl. “Did the tortics lock you in here?”

  She nodded.

  “Okay, well, you can stop crying now.”

  Just then I noticed that there were two keyholes. I scanned the area and spotted the second key hanging inside the shelf five feet away. Lorseria really didn’t want her to get out. He didn’t want anyone to take her. I bet he wanted her for himself.

  “You sure she’s the best one?” said Katie. “Something’s weird about her cage needing two keys.”

  “Jesse, give me the keys,” ordered Lin. “I’ll open it.”

  “No, you’re not,” I argued, slamming my back into him and sticking the keys inside. “You are free, Lowl. It’s okay, you can come out. I won’t let Lorseria hurt you anymore.”

  Lowl elegantly uncrossed her legs and got up, then gracefully walked over in high heels. She was gorgeous, and so was her shredded, black evening gown. I instinctively straightened out Oz’s green jacket.

  “Thank you, Jesse,” smiled Lowl. Her light blue eyes shone stunningly against her purple skin. She turned to Katie. “Who are you, little thing?”

  “Jesse?” said Katie, tugging on my jacket. “Jesse!”

  “What? What do you want?” I yelled.

  “Jesse, there’s something wrong with you!” said Katie promptly.

  “I believe there’s something wrong with you,” countered Lowl, setting a hand on Katie.

  Katie viciously struck Lowl’s hand away.

  “Katie, you shouldn’t have done that,” scolded Lin.

  “Lin, Katie’s turning on us,” I said.

  “She’s jealous.”

  “She is jealous. We have to get rid of her.”

  “Let’s throw her in the lava.”

  “Jesse,” Katie cried, shaking me. “She’s got you in some kind of a trance. Snap out of it!”

  “There’s nothing wrong with them,” said Lowl. “There is something wrong with you. Jesse, Lin, can you push this little girl into the gorilla cage for me?” She handed me a new key. “This can open any door but mine.”

  This was my chance to impress Lowl. Lin and I both hurried over to Katie.

  “Please, Jesse!” cried Katie, flinging Lin and me to the ground. “Lin, snap out of it! She’s got you–”

  Lin brought out his knife.

  “Lin, you know me! Lin! . . . Jesse, it’s me – your best friend!” She kicked me in the leg.

  “Ow! Ow, Katie.” I noticed I was gripping her really tightly.

  “Please, stop,” she muttered, worn out.

  I released my grip, feeling disoriented. “Katie?”

  “Jesse?” she gasped, searching my eyes. “Jesse, she’s using you and Lin.”

  The all-purpose key flew out of my pocket and clattered on across the floor to the middle cage. A giant green hand, with thick bolts drawn through its wrists, reached through the bars and picked up the key.

  “Not him,” wailed Lowl, frantically placing her long fingernail into the keyhole of the gorilla’s cage.

  The giant hand proceeded to put the key in the keyhole. The door slowly opened, and out of the shadows, emerged a massive green figure, about ten feet tall, with heavy sullen features, a flat head, and two black bolts drawn through his neck. He wore ragged brown pants and a ripped shirt, both too small for his frame, so that his mighty muscles rolled menacingly underneath the fabric with each move.

  Lin watched in awe as the green giant stomped by. The big gorilla stood up tall on his hind legs, still a foot shorter than Franky, and roared into the giant’s green face as he reached Lowl. Franky didn’t even look at the animal. Nor did he react when the gorilla swung his huge fist into him. It was like a child had punched him. Barely looking at the gorilla, Franky pitched the animal back into its cage. He snatched Lowl’s hand and lifted her up so he could look straight into her eyes.

  “Leave these kids alone,” he said in a low angry voice. He tossed her into the cage as well and closed it. He turned back to us as we stood there speechless, looking up at him in complete awe.

  “Thanks,” I got out at last.

  “You’re very welcome, young man.”

  “Uhmm . . .” I didn’t know what else to say to him. . . . “We have to go now,” I said, feeling exhausted and eager to get out of that place.

  Franky headed back to his cell.

  “You want to come with us?” said Katie.

  Franky turned back as Lin approached him. “Is your real name Henry Frankenstein?” asked Lin.

  “Yes,” he answered with an odd smile. “I have forgotten what it’s like to be called that.”

  “I’m Lin. A melflin.”

  Lin put out his hand, and Franky’s hand swallowed Lin’s like a glove folding over a baseball.

  “Nice to meet you, Lin. I am a hewkel. So are we going?”

  “The door’s locked,” I said.

  “Oh. Here, let me . . .” Henry easily pushed the door off its iron hinges. “There we go.”

  We followed him out of the room into a circular chamber, with echoey wooden floors and stone walls. The wood was stained with dried blood and slashed with claw marks. A few samhain skeletons were hanging from the top corners in two-inch-thick shackles.

  “I don’t like this,” I said.

  Katie tapped a chain, and it instantly cuffed her leg. Three more chains hooked to the rest of her limbs and yanked her up along the wall. Within seconds, we were all chained and pulled up halfway up the wall.

  A sharp screech caused everyone to look down to the center of the room. A circular platform had risen three feet off the floor. In the middle of it sat a red box, just like the one that had my name on it.

  “How are we going to get that?” cried Lin. “We can’t even get to it! The chains are cursed! Franky, what are we–”

  Franky’s chains lowered him back to the floor and unsnapped.

  “Open the box!” I said quickly, feeling as if my arms were going to pop out of their sockets.

  Franky ambled over to the platform.

  “Does it say
any of our names?” I said.

  “Franky,” he nodded. He opened the box and pulled out a thin plank of oak wood.

  “Henry, I am surprised they picked you. No more cooked rats. I will be the first to give you a Hurt Chocolate if you survive all ten rounds.” Franky flipped the plank over. “You are in the actual chamber that was created thousands of years ago by the very first samhain. It is a magic practice ground, which we have decided to keep. Jack has been here, in case you haven’t noticed the holes signifying a Dark Death.”

  I hadn’t noticed until then that the corpses’ femurs and skulls had one or two clean-cut holes punched straight through them. Franky read on.

  “You will be playing in the Jack O’Games, just like the ones played at the festivals, but this time there will be no rules. Cheers.”

  A hole took form in the wall, and another one took form in the floorboards. We all stared fearfully at the one in the wall as there were scuttling sounds coming from it.

  “What is that?” I said.

  Franky trudged quickly toward the hole. He knew something we didn’t.

  “A recktail,” said Franky, who didn’t look nervous at all.

  “What’s that?” asked Katie.

  “A large invisible rat.”

  “Can you see it?”

  “No. I’m just going to have to . . .”

  We all looked around frantically, hoping to locate the rat.

  “I felt something!” I signaled, having felt something hairy brush against my legs.

  “We should be able to hear it–” Franky started as something bumped into him full-speed. “Jesse, don’t move! He’s coming your way.”

  “No, no!” I cried nervously. “Get it, get it!”

  Franky hit the wall, and something thumped heavily across the floor. Teeth marks appeared on his arms, and he swung his large fist into the wall. And that was it. Panicked scampering faded down the wooden hole. We all turned back to Franky. Everything was quiet again. But it wasn’t over. The recktail was squealing for its life somewhere at the bottom of the hole. Something was killing it. Franky backed away from the hole.

  The plank of wood rattled inside the box. He took it out and read it out loud.

  “Game over. Lorseria.”