Tales of the Crazy

by Charles L Cole

  The only equitable distribution of the debt I would agree to was that she got all $551,000 of the total debt she had racked up with her store, which included remortgaging my home and an additional home equity loan. Included with this debt was the $73,800 she’d taken from my mom. Our countercomplaint was to state that all the debt was hers. Much of this debt had been discharged with her bankruptcy, but it had cost me $184,000 so far with remortgaging the home, a home equity loan, and interest to fund her store.

  I had paid the mortgage off, but there was still $62,000 remaining on balance for the home equity loan. More than $74,000 of her business tax debt remained because she hadn’t paid state and federal taxes, so I hoped that this and the $62,000 home equity loan balance would come out of her division of property, since it was for funding her business. This was a best-case scenario for me but not realistic, based on what Ray told me.

  I made a spreadsheet totaling her store debt for my attorney. All this came directly off her bankruptcy work sheets:

  Jess’s attorney also included in their paperwork that Jess “reserves the right to request a personal protection order or a restraining order” against me. No way would we agree to that, and I was surprised her attorney even put that in, knowing we would object. However, that type of stuff is was what many slimy attorneys do to generate billing hours and line their pockets at their clients’ expense. I was sure Jess had given her attorney more outrageous claims of abuse and wild stories about what I had done so that she could get sympathy and appear to be the victim in our marriage. That was OK; her attorney would find out the truth soon enough. The extremely large body of evidence I had collected about her past behavior would discredit just about anything she had to say about me.

  I got an e-mail from Michael Vincent’s office manager, Amanda, on April 13 concerning the DV charge, stating, “I spoke with the court and you should be all clear to obtain your property back from the arresting agency.” The court ordered the police to return my firearms on April 8 or 9, but by April 13, I still didn’t have them back. I couldn’t ignore or delay a court order without repercussions as the cops were doing.

  With all I had been through trying to get them, this e-mail was great news. The only thing was that I had no idea what I had to do. I e-mailed Amanda, “Do I just show up at the front desk at the sheriff’s station on Washtenaw, or do I have to call first and tell them what time I’ll be there? Or, is there a separate property division I have to go to?”

  Ever since the court ordered the police to return my firearms a week and a half ago, the cops had been giving me the runaround and would not return my calls. Who did they think they were? The court ordered the cops to return my property, but they refused to cooperate. When I did speak with them, they gave many lame excuses, including telling me only the arresting officer could release them. When the judge ordered the sheriff’s office to give them back, they must lawfully obey. Yet again, laws are for peasants.

  I called the sheriff’s front desk, asked where to go to get my firearms, and told them Judge Pope had ordered the release of my property. They forwarded me to dispatch, and dispatch told me I had to get in touch with the arresting officer, and he had to tell the property division to release my firearms. I told dispatch again that Judge Pope had ordered the property division to release my firearms, but their reply was that the arresting officer still had to tell the property division to release them. This made no sense, and they were still ignoring the court order.

  I was forwarded to the arresting officer’s voice mail and left him a message telling him Judge Pope had ordered the release of my firearms and he had to get with property. I also left him my phone number. They were playing more games at my expense, ignoring the order.

  On April 22, I sent this e-mail to Amanda, Michael’s office manager:

  Amanda,

  The police will not respond or call me back. I even called Judge Pope’s secretary telling her the police are ignoring the order and what should I do. She said she would call me back, but never did.

  Enough is enough. Please speak to Michael about filing a lawsuit against the police/Washtenaw county asking for huge monetary damages.

  I got this e-mail back from Amanda:

  I actually spoke with the officer last night, he works midnights so its hard to get ahold of him during the day. The officer stated you would need to go to division 1 to get your property back, but the release has been signed so you can get your things back.

  I made some phone calls—and guess what: there is no division 1. What an asshole. My contempt for cops was at an all-time high. From my perspective of dealing with all the problems they had caused by ignoring the law and court order, much of the contempt people have toward them is well deserved.

  Finally, on April 27, I was able to get my guns back from property. I sent this e-mail to Michael’s firm the next day:

  Great news! I picked all my firearms yesterday at 3:30. Everything was there to my surprise since I was expecting more problems or parts missing.

  FYI, there is no Division 1. The proper place to call is the sheriff’s property division at 734-973-4651. Even the property people have no idea what “division 1” is. They arranged to have the firearms up at the service desk at a time of my choosing and unlike everyone else I dealt with, were very helpful and accommodating. The woman I spoke with in Property is Judy, and she was extremely nice and pleasant.

  A week and a half earlier, on April 15, Ray had forwarded me a letter from Jess’s attorney, Linda, concerning a serious accusation Jess had made about me. The letter stated, “Please be advised that Mr. Cole has retrieved his gun from the police and has been walking around the house with the presumed purpose of displaying it in front of Mrs. Cole. She has felt intimidated and uncomfortable. I have advised her that at any time she feels uncomfortable, she can stay outside of the home for any period she wishes.”

  This part about my gun was an outright lie—I had not been able to get my guns from the police at that time, and Ray knew this. Jess’s attorney also wrote that “Mr. Cole persists in referring to the house as ‘his house’ and tells Ms. Cole that he and she are ‘separated.’” That part was correct: it was my house, and I had bought it before we were married.

  Ray sent Jess’s attorney this in response:

  I am in receipt of your correspondence dated April 15, 2015. Your client’s allegations are pure fiction. Additionally, she has a history of mixing OxyContin, Vicodin and assorted psychotropic meds. I am concerned she has been abusing her medications. Her history of false allegations is well known to local law enforcement.

  If your client would like to find independent housing, maybe she should look into the cost of doing so. Please feel free to contact me should you wish to discuss this matter further.

  This false accusation of hers was just a small taste of the hell that was to follow.

  Fourteen

  Lies and More Lies

  On April 19, I had a really bad day. My neighbor, Libby, was gone for the weekend, and I was taking care of her dog, Tasha. Tasha had known me ever since she was a puppy, and I had taken care of her many times before.

  I went to Libby’s house before I left for church and let Tasha out to do her business. I was sitting on their deck watching her run around outside, and she was very happy, especially after I gave her some treats. We went back in their house. I bent down to get her toy to play, and then she suddenly turned on me. Without warning she attacked, jumping right at my face and ripping my nose open. She continued attacking and bit my leg. I kicked her back, and she stood there shaking and growling at me. Her attack took me by complete surprise—I’d never witnessed any aggressive behavior from her before the attack that day. I had been her pal for a very long time.

  I went home immediately with blood gushing from my nose. I went upstairs, and when Jess saw the blood and heard Tasha had attacked me, she started freaking out.

  I told her I was going to the hospital. Jess insisted on taking me, and I let her. That t
urned out to be a huge mistake, as she went full drama queen at the hospital. She was crying and shaking in the hospital room and then said, “I love you.”

  I didn’t reply. I was thinking, She does not know what real love is after all the lies and hell she put me through just so that others will give her sympathy. I didn’t say anything else to her. I didn’t want her to cause a scene at the hospital.

  It was very fortunate that there was a plastic surgeon at the hospital. She put in four stitches, and I went back to see her again in her office a couple of days later.

  I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. After all these burdensome problems in my life, now this. What else was going to happen? I was also worried that soon I would be single and would have a giant, ugly scar on my nose.

  The last remaining issue with the DV charge was to get my arrest record expunged. I spoke to Amanda about this, and she started the process to get my fingerprint and arrest card destroyed and all matters related to this arrest removed from the police record.

  Jess’s mom, Suda, was entitled to social security because her husband had been a US citizen, and I had been taking care of her DFCU account for her social security payments for almost two years. Jess had been responsible for it, but after the Michigan Department of Treasury emptied my checking account by taking $3,300, her name had been taken off her mom’s account and my name had been put on.

  Jess’s sister, Kanya, withdrew money for Suda overseas with the DFCU ATM card. There was an ATM fee, but it was a lot cheaper than wiring her the money. I had told Jess multiple times that because her mom could no longer take care of herself, Kanya needed to have the social security deposits changed to a local bank, where she could manage the money. This had not happened. I had told them both in March when I filed for divorce that I would be taking my name off her mom’s account and they needed to get her mom’s banking in order. There was no action from them.

  On April 15, Jess sent me an e-mail asking me to use my DFCU ATM card to withdraw her mom’s social security funds. Jess had told me earlier that she would wire the money to Kanya. In the e-mail, she wrote, “Will you use your card to withdraw the money for my mom and leave.” She sure had some nerve to tell me to leave my house.

  I had to go to the bank to withdraw $2,100 from Jess’s mother’s account and then sent an e-mail to Jess and Kanya saying I was giving the money to Jess to wire it over. I didn’t trust Jess, so I made sure to let her sister know what was going on. Jess also asked me to reset the PIN, as the card Kanya had no longer worked.

  A couple of days later, I went to DFCU to reset the PIN for her mom’s ATM card. I sent Jess and her sister an e-mail with the new PIN and asked them to “let me know ASAP if there any problems with it.”

  Jess was spending more time away from the house. I didn’t know where she was staying. She spent more nights away than at home, and recently I had not seen her for a couple of days. I had been taking care of everything at the home, including both dogs. Sasi was an extremely needy little lapdog, following me around the house all the time and whining for constant attention. This little dog was really getting on my nerves. I was very frustrated by the whole situation, and Jess needed to step up and take care of her dog. I would take care of Diva.

  I asked her via e-mail on April 23 if the dogs were taken care of. I also asked that she let me know if she wouldn’t be at the house so the dogs could get proper care. There was no reply.

  On April 26, I sent Jess an e-mail about Sasi:

  I will no longer take care of her. She is your dog and she needs you. Please pick her up and keep her where you are staying. It’s unfair to me to be burdened with taking care of both dogs while you are out partying or staying with your new boyfriend.

  If I don’t hear from you, I’ll will give her away to someone this week.

  After I sent that, I realized I shouldn’t have. My frustration at dealing with Jess was at an all-time high.

  Jess replied to this in her typical extreme-drama manner. In part of her reply, she wrote:

  Chuck,

  You are frightening me, i am so afraid to read your messages or emails. Why are you, so mean to me, it was not enough of you to abuse me for the past 14 years? You must have to keep me under your foot, please, don’t do anything to the girls, you already hurt Diva just for me to reading the message, that you will give away Sasi.

  I have no idea what she meant by saying I’d hurt Diva. I replied:

  Please stop with your out of control drama and contrived fear. It’s just pure fiction at my expense.

  You are fully capable of taking care of Sasi. Do your part, be responsible, show some love for her and take her with you before you leave for over a week without telling me. That’s all I’m asking. She needs that love and companionship from you. If you are unwilling to do this, then give her to someone that will care.

  But, of course, her reply was devoid of responsibility and consisted only of more contrived drama:

  Stop intimidating and name calling me and verbally abusive, please I know that it’s hard for you to control. I have asked you to be civilized. ... Then your divorce, that you want will end in a pleasant way. My attorney had confirmed yours, please talk to your attorney.

  Dealing with Jess was impossible. She was resorting to claiming I abused and frightened her. I wouldn’t have put it past her to forward these types of e-mails to her attorney to demonize me. It was impossible to deal with a pathological liar. The troubling part of this was that I was sure some part of her believed her lies and that this was what she was telling her attorney. I didn’t know the extent of how horribly I was being portrayed, but I was sure it was very bad. I was also keeping Ray up to speed on all these events so we could be ready in case Jess and her attorney took legal action against me.

  With all the drama Jess was creating, I also had to give her additional money, even though I was paying for all her living expenses. Ray advised me I had to give her $1,000 a month in cash or it might seem I was intentionally being cruel to her. I didn’t like giving her cash, but I had to. Jess drained my checking account one day, so I set up a new account for my payroll to go into and kept the old one exclusively for her. That way I could prevent her from draining my account, and I could prove that all withdrawals she made from the old account were hers. She had the only ATM card for the old account.

  Jess was now complaining about our Focus. It was old, but it was still a reliable car. She didn’t view it this way, though, and wanted me to buy her another vehicle. Jess told me it had stalled on her. I told her she needed to be home so I could work on it. On May 8, I found out the stalling problem was caused by a bad throttle-position sensor and replaced it. I also cleaned the mass air-flow sensor and throttle body.

  Five days later, Jess called and demanded that I buy her a car. She wanted me to give her $25,000 for a used Volvo C70 convertible. She said she needed the money right away, as the dealer was holding it for her for only a few days, and that it was a great deal. She also said she did not want another Ford.

  I told her she had been in sales and should know the pressure tactics these people used. I said, “You, not the salesperson determine what is a good deal.” She still would not relent. I asked her how much insurance would cost, but she would not answer. I also asked what the grand total would be with all the other charges and taxes, but she would not answer.

  Our Focus did have a lot of miles, 169,000, but there was no way I was giving her $25,000 for a used car with all the unforeseen costs of the divorce. I didn’t have this amount available anyway. At this point I didn’t want to give her anything. She even had the nerve to tell me her attorney said this car would be under my name. What a lie that was, as any attorney knew a person couldn’t be forced to accept liability for someone else. I told her no way—it would be under her name, and she would pay all the insurance. She didn’t like that, but tough. I also had doubts that she wanted the cash for a car. It was possible she only wanted $25,000 for something else.

 
I knew she could make the car an issue to use against me by falsely claiming I knew the Focus was not safe and was trying to harm her, so I told her $10,000 was all I could do toward the cost of another car. Jess would not relent. I finally hung up on her, stating again that $10,000 was my limit.

  On May 13, I sent this e-mail to her:

  I’m able to pay $10k for a car. That’s all I can afford and it will come out of your part of the divorce settlement. The costs of this divorce are going to be huge.

  The rest you will have to come up with. The cost of insurance that you will have to pay for your car will also have to be figured in. How about getting more independent by getting your own income, then figure out what you can afford?

  If you get a car now, a lien will be put on it due to your tax debt. There may be a lien on your Focus preventing it from being sold since it’s in your name. This vehicle lien can be checked at the Secretary of State. Another bankruptcy for you should be filed this year to clear out your tax debt and clear out all the liens.

  The Focus will have to be sold when another car is bought and this will help with the cost of another car. The cost of keeping insurance on the Focus to drive it outweighs the fuel savings I will get vs. driving the truck.

  Please check if there are tax liens on your vehicles.

  How about selling your motorcycle since you don’t ride it? You can get between $2500 and $3000 cash for it that can help with the cost of your car, but there may be a lien on it. This also will have to be checked at the Secretary of State. It’s prime riding season right now and bikes are being sold very fast.

  Your debts have already cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars and I won’t even consider this $25k luxury expense for a Volvo C70 convertible. I’ve been stuck paying for the remaining $63k of the home equity loan since you won’t do anything to help pay your debts, but this equity loan will also come out of your part of the divorce settlement.