Birthday Cake and Bodies

by Agatha Frost

  “It would do you some good to have a read. I flicked through, and I found it very informative.”

  Dot stamped her finger down on the book, but Barker could not have looked any less interested if he had tried. He stabbed his fork into the cake, stuffing even more into his mouth. Julia and Sue could barely contain their laughter.

  “Mine next,” Sue said, reaching across the table, her large bump getting in the way. “It’s not as helpful as Gran’s, but I think you’ll like it.”

  Sue slid the glittery pink-wrapped box down the table. Barker ripped back the paper, seeming a little more relieved than he had looked when opening Dot’s.

  “My favourite aftershave,” Barker said with a genuine smile. “Thank you, Sue. I can actually use this. I was running low.”

  “I know,” Sue replied with a confident nod. “I was poking around your bathroom last week. I didn’t know what to get you, and then it came to me like an epiphany when I was sitting on the toilet. All men like aftershave!”

  “Men smelt like men back in my day,” Dot exclaimed, grabbing the box from Barker to read over the label. “’A spicy, aromatic scent with hints of vanilla’. Sounds like a curry, and you know my stomach doesn’t do well with foreign food.”

  Jessie giggled from under her hood at the end of the table. It caught everyone off guard, including Jessie, who seemed to have briefly forgotten about her break-up.

  “Well, if you’ll excuse me, nature calls,” Barker said, pushing his chair away from the table with a defeated look. “Don’t tell me, Dot. Is that another symptom?”

  “Actually, I think it is,” Dot said, picking up the book to flick through the mass of pages. “I’m sure I read something about it in here.”

  Barker laughed with a shake of his head, brushing his hand across Julia’s back as he walked out of the room. None of them moved until they heard the lock on the bathroom door click into place.

  “Do you think he knows?” Sue whispered excitedly, bolting up in her chair. “Does he think this is his real party?”

  “Of course he doesn’t know,” Dot cried, tossing the book onto the table. “He’s a man! He hasn’t figured out a thing. He probably thinks this is his real present.”

  “It isn’t?” Julia asked, turning the book over in her hand. “I thought you were being serious.”

  “Picked it up for twenty pence in the charity shop,” Dot said with a thin grin, adjusting the brooch holding her stiff white collar in place. “I have a card in my bag with a gift voucher for his favourite clothes shop.”

  “He has a favourite clothes shop?” Jessie asked, scrunching up her nose. “All his shirts look the same.”

  “That’s because he buys them all from the same shop,” Dot exclaimed, tapping the side of her nose. “I let myself in when you were all at work. Had a nice look through his wardrobe.”

  “I need to change the locks,” Julia said, her eyes wide as she gathered up the plates. “Did you put the real birthday cake in the boot of my car, Sue?”

  “Done,” Sue said, pushing herself up from the seat. “What time is Katie calling?”

  “In about ten minutes,” Julia said after checking the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. “Hopefully they’ve got everything sorted up there. You should all start leaving when he gets out of the bathroom.”

  “I need to pee before I go,” Sue said as she shuffled to the door, her giant stomach poking out through her fluttering shirt. “The twins have been kicking my bladder all day. I’m sure one of them is trying out for the Premier League.”

  Julia dumped the dishes in the kitchen sink while Sue waited by the bathroom door clutching her lower back. When the toilet flushed and Barker unlocked the door, Sue barged in, quickly locking it behind her.

  “Must dash!” Dot exclaimed, hurrying out of the dining room with her handbag slung over her shoulder. “Enjoy your book, Barker. Some of the girls and I have joined a film club, and we’re starting our Saw marathon tonight. According to Amy Clark, the films are about jigsaws or something. I wasn’t really paying much attention, but I like a jigsaw as much as the next person.”

  Dot kissed Julia on the cheek and slapped Barker heartily on the shoulder before heading out of the front door, the cold wind blowing down the hallway behind her.

  “That woman is something else,” Barker said with a disbelieving shake of his head as he stared at the door. “Midlife crisis?”

  “I’m going to Dolly and Dom’s,” Jessie said, her hood low over her eyes as she hurried for the door. “Bye.”

  The door slammed behind her, letting more cold air into the hallway. Sue hobbled out of the bathroom, wiping her damp hands on the back of her stretchy maternity trousers.

  “Neil will be expecting me back,” Sue said, rubbing her belly rhythmically. “He’s insisting on reading the bump bedtime stories. Can you believe they’re as big as pineapples now? I’m sure they’re just as prickly too. Pregnancy is more uncomfortable than anyone ever tells you.”

  Sue kissed them both on the cheek, grabbed her handbag from the dining room, and waddled out of the cottage.

  “And then there were two,” Barker said, looking around the empty cottage. “Not how I was expecting to spend my birthday.”

  “You said you wanted a quiet one,” Julia reminded him as she filled the sink with hot water. “Places to be, and all that.”

  “Dot and Sue were only here for twenty minutes,” Barker said, scratching the side of his head as he consulted his watch. “Oh, well. At least there’s more cake left.”

  “Actually, I was hoping to sell the rest of it in the café tomorrow,” Julia said as she squirted washing up liquid into the sink. “Sorry!”

  “Right,” he said, sighing as he slapped his hands against his sides. “Well, I suppose I’ll go and watch the six o’clock news in 3D then.”

  Barker planted himself on the couch with another long sigh. Julia smirked to herself as she quickly washed the plates. She felt bad for still lying to him, but these were the last lies she would have to tell. She could not wait for the party to be over so she could go back to being honest Julia.

  “It’ll be worth it,” she whispered to herself as she rinsed the last plate before placing it on the metal draining board. “I hope.”

  Right on cue, the phone on the kitchen wall rattled in its frame. Julia let it ring for a moment, not answering until she was satisfied Barker had heard.

  “Hello?” she said, already knowing who was on the other end.

  “Julia?” Katie’s shaky voice crackled down the phone. “Julia, something terrible has happened.”

  “What’s happened?” Julia called loud enough so that Barker could hear. “You want us to come to Peridale Manor immediately?”

  “No, Julia, I’m being serious,” Katie said, the sudden depth of her usually squeaky voice knotting fear inside of Julia. “It’s Luke, Barker’s nephew. He’s – He’s dead.”

  4

  “I – I don’t understand,” Barker muttered as they sped up the winding lane towards Peridale Manor in the dark, the headlights illuminating the bushes fencing them in. “Why is my nephew at your dad’s house? It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It’s all my fault,” Julia said, pushing her curls from her eyes as she sped around the tight corner. “I’ve been planning a surprise birthday party for you. I invited everyone. Katie was supposed to call to let me know they were ready, and I was going to get us up to the manor.”

  “Who are ‘they’?”

  “Your three brothers,” Julia said. “Heather and Dawn too, and Bella and her boyfriend, and – and Luke.”

  “I don’t understand,” he repeated.

  “I borrowed your phone,” she confessed as she rigidly held back her tears, her foot pushing down on the accelerator. “I called them all. My dad said he would host them for the party.”

  “No, I meant I don’t understand how you got them all to agree to come here,” Barker said, his fingers rubbing the temples on the sid
es of his head. “After Bethany’s funeral, I didn’t think they would ever agree to being in the same room again.”

  “I’m sorry,” Julia apologised, tears streaming down her face, aware of how fast she was driving, but unable to lift her foot. “Oh, Barker. I shouldn’t have meddled.”

  “Julia, slow down.”

  “Your nephew is dead, and it’s all my fault.”

  “Julia!”

  Barker’s hands slapped down on the dashboard, forcing Julia to slam her foot on the brakes. The tyres screeched along the gravel, halting right behind three shadowy figures in front of the manor. They turned around, their confused faces illuminated by the flashing lights of the three police cars parked in front of them.

  “Julia?” Dot cried, squinting through the front window of the car, Jessie and Sue next to her. “What on Earth -”

  Julia rubbed the tears from her lashes, inhaling deeply, the guilt too much to bear. Barker squeezed her knee firmly, but it did not reassure her.

  “You almost hit us!” Dot cried. “What are you playing at?”

  “Well, she didn’t hit you,” Barker said, jumping out of the car and walking straight past them towards the officers guarding the front door. “I need to find out what’s going on.”

  Julia peeled her fingers off the steering wheel and got out of the car, her legs like jelly. She took a deep breath as her trembling fingers tucked her curls behind her ears.

  “How did this happen?” Julia asked, gulping down her added guilt for almost hitting her family. “I don’t understand.”

  “Well, you almost bloody turned us into pancakes!” Dot cried. “That’s what happened.”

  “She means the murder,” Jessie mumbled from under her hood, less bothered about almost being hit by Julia’s car.

  “Murder?” Julia echoed. “How?”

  “Strangled, according to one of the officers,” Sue said, wrapping her arms around her body as the bitter wind picked up around them. “We’ve only just arrived ourselves. They won’t let us in.”

  “Strangled?” Julia whispered, looking past her family to the yellowy light flooding out of the manor’s front doors. “Where’s Dad?”

  “You’ve got no chance of getting inside,” Dot said, wafting her hands as she stared at the officers talking to Barker by the front door. “I told them I was family, but they won’t let me in, and they won’t let anyone out!”

  “We could always try the back door,” Jessie suggested with a shrug, hooking her thumb to the dark side of the house. “That’s always an option.”

  “Hey, we could try the back door!” Dot echoed as though it had been her idea. “That’s a great idea.”

  “My great idea.”

  “The details don’t matter,” Dot said as she linked her arm through Sue’s. “Are you okay to walk?”

  “I’m pregnant, not an invalid,” Sue said, following it up by immediately by wincing. “Although I am carrying twins, aren’t I? Maybe I’ll wait in the car.”

  “I think you should all stay here,” Julia said, her nerves dying down long enough for her brain to engage. “If the police aren’t letting people inside, it’s because the house is a crime scene, and three new people walking around are going to be easier to spot than one.”

  “You’re not invisible, Julia,” Dot exclaimed through pursed lips, clearly upset that Julia was putting a stop to her snooping. “You’re wearing a bright pink coat, for Christ’s sake!”

  Julia shrugged off the heavy coat, the November chill consuming her in seconds. She tossed it to her gran, who reluctantly joined Sue in the car.

  “Be careful,” Jessie said, smiling softly at Julia. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

  “I’m just going to find out what’s happened,” she said, running her thumb along Jessie’s soft, cold cheek. “I feel responsible for this.”

  Julia crept to the edge of the gravel driveway, avoiding the blue flashing lights. Her dark jeans and navy blouse faded in nicely with the forest that enclosed the vast grounds around the manor.

  Julia stuck to the side of the house, ducking down past the tall windows. She reached a door, which she knew opened into one of Hilary’s cleaning supply cupboards. She rattled the handle, but it was locked. Julia pressed on, creeping to the back of the grand house. As she transferred from the damp grass onto the stone patio, light flooded out from the kitchen through the double French doors. Holding her breath, Julia crept up to the kitchen window and peered inside to make sure the coast was clear; it was not.

  The girl she had met earlier in her café, Bella, was sitting at the kitchen island, sobbing into her hands, with her handsome blond boyfriend, Conrad, comforting her with a blank stare. Julia slid across the wall and rattled the doors, but they were also locked.

  “Hello?” she called softly with a gentle knock on the glass. “Can you let me in?”

  The young couple practically jumped out of their skins before whipping around to face Julia. They squinted into the dark garden, a glimmer of recognition on the young woman’s mascara-streaked face.

  “Conrad, that’s Barker’s girlfriend,” she stammered, sliding off the stool, her mobile phone clutched in her hand. “Julie.”

  “It’s Juli-a,” she reminded the girl with a frustrated smile. “Can you let me in? It’s cold out here.”

  Bella and Conrad looked at each other as though considering whether they should ignore Julia like a stray cat.

  “They told us not to leave,” Bella called, taking a small step forward. “The murderer might be out there.”

  “I’m not the murderer,” Julia said with a disbelieving laugh. “I’ve only just arrived with Barker.”

  Bella chewed the inside of her lip, looking at Conrad for permission. The attractive young man could only offer a meek shrug.

  Julia rubbed her hands together in front of her face and blew her hot breath into her cupped palms. It had the desired effect. Bella rushed to unlock the door, opening it just enough for Julia to slip inside before locking it again.

  “Thank you,” she said through chattering teeth. “It’s not much warmer in here, is it?”

  Bella shook her head as she retreated to Conrad’s side. He wrapped his arm around her again, his eyes trained on the tiled floor. He looked like he had been crying too, pale streaks running down his bronze face, letting her know his tan likely came from a bottle rather than the sun.

  “Do you know what happened?” Julia asked eagerly as she warmed up. “I heard he was strangled.”

  Bella tossed her head back and let out a shrill wail. She pushed her face into Conrad’s white shirt, which was already stained with her mascara tears.

  “It’s like Bethany all over again,” she sobbed, her voice muffled in her boyfriend’s toned pectorals. “I can’t deal with this again.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Conrad said, his voice softer and fainter than Julia would have expected from someone with such a strong jaw and solid nose. “You’ll get through this. You’re a fighter, and you have your Bella Belles.”

  “Bella Belles?” Julia asked, looking around the empty kitchen. “Is that a flower?”

  “It’s what I call my followers,” Bella said, sniffling and pulling away from Conrad’s shirt. “They’re never going to believe this. Maybe I should live stream now and let them all know what’s happened?”

  “It might boost your follower count,” Conrad said with a supportive shrug. “Channel your pain, baby.”

  “It’s probably best that you don’t,” Julia said, feeling like she was talking to freshly landed aliens from a distant world. “The police will want to talk to you, and it might cause you some trouble if you put your story out there before you tell them.”

  “Police?” Conrad cried, his bottom lip trembling. “We – We didn’t do anything. We didn’t kill him.”

  “Why would we?” Bella cried, her pretty face twisting tightly. “He was my cousin.”

  “It’s just procedure,” Barker said as he walked into the kitchen
. “Julia. Why am I not surprised to see you’ve somehow found your way in here?”

  “Uncle Barker!” Bella cried before running into his arms like a little girl. “Oh, what an awful thing to happen on your birthday.”

  “Forget my birthday,” he said as he rubbed her hair where the brown faded into blonde. “It’s good to see you, kiddo.”

  “It’s just like Bethany all over again,” she repeated, her sobs somehow more genuine now that she was with her uncle and not thinking about her ‘Bella Belles’. “Why our family?”

  “Bethany’s death was an accident,” he said, pulling her away and holding her shoulders. “This was not. Someone murdered Luke.”

  “Who?” Conrad asked, his hand drifting up to his mouth as though the confirmation from Barker somehow made it real. “Who would want to do such a thing?”

  “I – I don’t know,” Barker said. “It’s not my case. It’s too close to home. I only got inside here because some of the boys owed me a favour. Maybe I should have just stuck with you, Julia? Come with me.”

  Julia smiled her apologies to Conrad and Bella as they both began tapping on their phones at the exact same time. She hurried across the kitchen, following Barker into the grand entrance hall. The two uniformed officers guarding the front door nodded to Barker, and he nodded back.

  “One of you should get on the back door,” he called to them. “Someone could easily slip out. Julia, upstairs.”

  Julia did not argue. She let Barker practically push her up the sweeping staircase without question.

  “So, this is her?” a forty-something man with a stubbly jaw and a crinkled suit asked when they reached the bedroom in the middle of the long hallway. “The famous Julia South? You’re quite the celebrity at the station.”

  “I am?”

  “Solved more murder cases than the two of us combined,” the man said, folding his arms across his tight suit, looking a mixture of impressed and bitter. “Are you sure about this, boss? It’s risky.”

  “Just keep your mouth shut, and so will I, Detective Sergeant Christie,” Barker said, his hand still firmly on the bottom of Julia’s back. “You know she’s good.”