With This Ring, I'm Confused

by Kristin Billerbeck

  “Emily,” Kevin says in Alex Trebek baritone.

  “Are you two going to a costume ball?” Emily giggles nervously.

  “No, we’re doing a dress rehearsal in the wedding gear you bought us.”

  Elaine gasps.

  “I have a date.” Emily grabs her purse.

  “Your date is out with Kay tonight. Sit down,” Kevin orders.

  Both Elaine and Emily slowly take a seat on the couch. By the looks on their faces, they’re not sure if we might have some murderous plots on our mind. Can you imagine the headline: “Scarlett Harlot and Treacherous Rhett Kill Southern Heritage.”

  Kevin interrupts my Court TV fantasies. “I’ve been doing a little digging this week. I’ve turned into quite the investigative journalist. My fiancée was a bit upset over the phone because apparently, quite a few things about our wedding had been changed without her knowledge. Including her own wedding dress. See Exhibit A.” Kevin points at me. He begins to pace the room with his hands behind his back. “I called Amy Carmichael.” He faces Emily. “I’d like to state my other sources, but for obvious reasons, I didn’t need any.”

  Emily sits up to bolt for the door, but Kevin puts his hand up, and she sits back down.

  Elaine rises. “This is a family discussion. And as such, we shall have it as a family.”

  “Sit down, Mother. We are a family. This is my betrothed. Ashley, curtsey to your future mother-in-law, will you?”

  I bow and stretch my skirt out extensively. I could get into this. I bet you’d have to eat a lot of truffles and frappuccinos before it caught up with you in one of these. You’d just keep cinching that corset until the whalebone wouldn’t move anymore. Think of the freedom they had. Carbs were virtually unknown, let alone counted.

  Kevin’s voice booms again. “It turns out, Mother, that my baby sister, the wedding coordinator, went to the Lenox Square Bloomingdale’s with Amy posing as my bride. They picked out virtually everything for our registry, which forced Ashley and me to do it all over again. This was much more difficult than starting from scratch.”

  “As I said, Kevin”—Elaine’s threatening glare mixes with the cold steel in her voice—“this is family business, and as a family, we will discuss it.”

  Kevin’s face goes a shade of red I’ve not seen before. “This!” He points at me. “This is my family. Ashley will be my wife. I love her. You either accept that, or we’re done. Both of you will stop trying to control my life by sabotaging it. Do you hear me?”

  His mother gasps. “I did not raise you up to speak to me this way. And all for a woman dressed like a cartoon character.”

  Okay, I’m really wishing my mommy and her candied almonds with tulle circles were here. Lord, I will never make fun of the Dollar Store again. Thank you, Jesus, for my mother and her tuna casserole and her Jell-O pudding pies! Normal mothers are a gift from God!

  Kevin’s face is getting redder. “Mother, Emily, do you remember that scene where Rhett sweeps Scarlett upstairs?”

  Both women are looking horrified at the shared memory.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” Kevin swoops me off the floor, the dress catches on a lamp, and it goes tumbling to the floor. “I always hated that lamp. Mother, Emily”—and then he looks straight at me with his dark green eyes—“this is where I close the door on the old ways.”

  “We were just trying to protect you, Kevin!” Elaine cries, sobbing into her hands, then peeking out to see if it’s working. “How on earth do you expect to host the chief of surgery with a lawyer as your wife?” Elaine says “lawyer” like “prostitute,” but whatever.

  “I don’t need your protection anymore. I’m a grown man, and it’s time I acted like it. Now if you’ll excuse us, Scarlett and I are going courting. If you plan to be at my wedding, I’ll send you details the Friday before. Emily, consider yourself fired. Mother, Ashley isn’t taking any classes on how to be the proper wife, other than the premarital classes with our pastor. She is perfect for me just like she is.”

  “We’re only trying to protect you from a future that will be wrought with—”

  “Frankly, my dear mother, I don’t give a—”

  “Kevin!” I gasp.

  He turns with me still in his arms, and we sweep out the door. Well, stagger is more like it. Kevin is beet-red by the time we get to the porch, and thoroughly winded. He sets me down.

  “That’s it? Rhett Butler took Scarlett to the top of that big staircase.”

  “That’s because he knew what was waiting at the end of that staircase. We’re not married yet, so I’m not as motivated.”

  I crack up and throw my arms around his neck. “I love you, Dr. Kevin Novak.”

  “Do you believe me now? That I love you more than anything? That I will leave my mother and cleave to you?”

  Thinking about his mother’s stunned expression, his sister’s rage . . . “Yeah, I believe you now.” We head for the car.

  “Good, because a man can only take so much estrogen. Sheesh, I’m beginning to see why Seth had such an issue with commitment.”

  “Let’s not forget he committed before you. He and Arin have already done the deed.” I cross my arms in front of me.

  “He settled. I didn’t. Much less work involved when you settle. On the front end, that is.” He winks at me and forces my skirt into the car before shutting the door.

  32

  We drive for what seems an eternity. Kevin lets nary a word out without saying something about Philadelphia. Clearly, it was a mountaintop experience for him, with the satisfaction he found in the work there. Well, let’s just say it tops having my name on a patent. We drive into Atherton’s majestic tree-lined streets. Now Atherton is a town where residents consider the police their private security guards. Considering everything is hardwired with laser beams in the houses, the police keep themselves busy with speed traps in town.

  “Don’t speed through here,” I warn.

  “Ashley, they’re going to pull us over anyway for driving a Dodge through here.”

  We both laugh. This used to be the town where Stanford doctors lived, but those days are mostly gone since high-tech stock options made cash for homes like Monopoly money. Soaring prices locked most doctors out of Atherton’s price range. Often, these young yuppies will pay cash upwards of $6 million for a house. In other words, we’re not exactly driving in our element.

  “Where are we going?” I ask, knowing full well I’m probably not going to get an answer. But considering I’m dressed like Scarlett? The quieter the destination, the better.

  “To the closest thing I could find to a Southern plantation in Silicon Valley.”

  Kevin pulls into a long brick driveway, and when the trees give way, I see a gargantuan Georgian estate. It is brick and stately on the grass mound of the property’s center. Four white gables make me think of that book I hated in high school. A pristine white central door and window rise to the second floor in stately majesty. The entire lawn perimeter is surrounded by a short, cropped hedge, and every leaf seems to be in place. Kevin sets the emergency brake.

  “What are we doing here? Your parents didn’t buy this place for us, did they?” Because if they did, I totally owe them the apology of my life.

  “You wish, Ashley. This is the chief of surgery’s house. He’s in Bermuda this week and offered it to me for what I needed to do. I borrowed it for this special occasion, so that we could be in our Southern element, of course, while we make some serious decisions.”

  Gulp. “What might those be?”

  “Well, I had a lot of time to think in Philadelphia, believe it or not. You know, Ashley, this is the first time I realized what I wanted from my life. This is no longer about my dad or impressing him or being in the right job for my parents to brag about at the country club. Finally, this job is for me. This is what I love, having an impact on a child’s future before God even brings that baby into the world.

  I’ve been giving my parents way too much power.”
>
  I have tears in my eyes as he explains, because once again, I see the man I fell in love with. “Philadelphia is calling,” I state.

  He nods. “I have to go, Ashley. I have to. I know I told you it was our decision, but, Ash, I need you to trust me to make this decision for us. I just know it’s what is right for our future. I swept you off your feet to show you I’m done living for my parents. It’s about us now.”

  “Kevin, how can I leave Gainnet now? They won’t have anyone in legal. Except Tracy, and I think her low-cut blouses will do little to further patents.”

  “I’m asking you to come with me. I promised I wouldn’t do that, but I can’t alter this course, Ashley. I know this is where I’m supposed to be. If Holly, my little patient, had this operation in utero, she’d be healthy. She’d have her mother and her siblings. Maybe she never would have had the best family, but who does?”

  “You got me there.”

  “I realized the love I felt for Holly as a patient. The responsibility. It was supposed to be there to lead me down the right path. Surgeons aren’t supposed to be just like my father. That’s not God’s plan. The secret is to not allow your emotions to stop you from being effective.”

  I sewed beads back on my shoes while you were gone.

  “You’re leaving.” Just like Seth. I feel my heart begin to pound. I focus on the silk leaves on my gown. Not only am I getting dumped, but I’m dressed for the high school play. The indignity!

  Kevin gets out of the car and comes around for me. “I hope that we’re leaving.” He takes my hand, and we walk up the path to the great brick house.

  Kevin unlocks the door, and we enter the most magnificent foyer I’ve ever seen. It’s enormous, with soaring ceilings and a massive French window that reaches to the sky and brings the outside in. There’s wainscoting at every level, and it’s all painted a crisp white, making me feel as though I’m in a grand English estate.

  “This is incredible.”

  “It’s ten thousand square feet. We’ll be lucky if our lot is ever that big.”

  “Point taken. I wouldn’t want to clean all these bathrooms anyway.”

  “There are eight and a half of them. Doc is quite proud of that fact.”

  “Shut up!”

  “I’m not kidding.”

  “You wouldn’t even need to go to the gym, Kevin. You could just run around to the different bathrooms all day, and you’d be like a marathon runner. You just drink water, and on your mark, get set, go!”

  “You really make me nervous sometimes.”

  Kevin leads me into the living room, which is decorated ad nauseam in baby blue: blue sofas, blue walls, blue sea paintings. Even with money available, there’s no accounting for taste.

  I sit down on the blue settee and drape my skirt around me dramatically. “I shall never decorate with one colah scheme again,” I say, placing the back of my hand on my brow.

  Kevin gets on his knee and takes my hand.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I want my grandmother’s ring back.” He looks at the ring and up at me again. “Do you mind?”

  I get that sick feeling you get at the bottom of a roller-coaster ride. “Sure,” I say as I yank it off. Not getting this! My stomach roils as I pull the ring off. Another man packing a moving truck to escape me. Okay, that’s not really fair. Seth didn’t take more than his video-game collection and a few pairs of khakis.

  Kevin sees my turmoil and laughs with a tender smile. “Ashley, I brought you here to tell you that I want to carry you away if you’ll let me.” Suddenly, Kevin produces a brand-new ring. The diamond is amazing, and it sparkles and shows an array of rainbow colors under the light.

  I clap my hands frantically. “Ooh, ooh, is that for me? I love presents! Especially diamond presents! See?” I pull my hair back. “I have my earrings on.”

  “Ashley Stockingdale, my grandmother was the meanest woman I ever knew. Your first engagement ring was her ring, and I can’t let you wear it anymore in good conscience. I want to start fresh, not with my family’s history attached to your finger and our marriage. Yes, my parents are still together, but only because neither one of them would admit to the failure of a divorce. So we’re starting our own heritage, here and now. I’m marrying you and divorcing my family in a way.”

  “I get a new ring?” Trying not to seem too eager. After all, I loved the old ring, but seeing this one? Gee, I’m just not nearly as loyal as I thought.

  “If you’ll marry me, you do.” He pulls the ring away.

  “Wait a minute. I get to marry you, and I get a new ring? Something ain’t right here.” If he’s feeling this generous, maybe I can keep both. Bad, bad Ashley!

  “Ashley, if I get arthritis in my knees—”

  “Okay, okay. Just one question. Philadelphia?”

  “I’ll resent it if I stay. I might resent you. That’s the honest truth.”

  “I can’t say yes just yet. It’s not right to expect an answer while shining a diamond of that size in my face. It could be temporary blindness, and then where would I be? What if I resent you if we go to Philadelphia and I give up my job?”

  Kevin stands up and lifts me off the couch. “A fair question. So I give you time to think about it. Come on out back.” Kevin opens two French doors, and the sounds of a violin stream into earshot. He even arranged music for little ol’ me!

  “Kevin, it’s perfect!”

  He twirls me around and takes me into his arms. Looking into his eyes, I know as sure as I stand here that no job, no state, is worth giving him up for. I love this man with my whole heart. I want to replace his family heritage with a new one. We’ll love our children if they’re garbagemen. Or bus drivers.

  “Okay. I’ve thought about it,” I say nervously, feeling my breath catch in my throat. “Philadelphia, here we come.”

  Kevin slips the new platinum ring on my finger. “Let the party at Twelve Oaks begin!” Kevin shouts, and we break into wild laughter, while the poor violinist in sweltering gray wool accompanies us as we try an elegant reel.

  “Did you know they put Clark Gable on a turning platform because he couldn’t dance for that scene?”

  “This is a fact-free zone, Ashley. Did I mention that? Let me revel in my moment. Right now, I have it all! The perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect life.”

  “Right back atcha, babe!”

  33

  It’s my wedding day! It’s my wedding day! It’s my wedding day!” I’m dancing around the room with my gown fluttering easily behind me. The last two months flew by, what with my settling all the patents I could before saying good-bye to everyone at Gainnet, packing boxes, and putting the finishing touches on the wedding day that I’ve always wanted. Yes, finally, the wedding day that I’ve always wanted.

  “Yes, Ashley, it’s your wedding day. Do you want to say something else now? You sound like you’re stuck. I’d say like a broken record, but you probably don’t remember what that is.” Kay picks up the nylons I’ve strewn across my bed. “I didn’t realize nylons were a big event for the day. What’s to decide on?”

  “I just can’t believe I get to say it. I’m getting married today!” I sing. “Do you know how many times I lived this day through Barbies as a child? I mean, the Barbie Townhouse elevator was like, up and down wildly while Barbie prepared for her big day. Mom, you never would buy me the Ken tuxedo.”

  “Utter child abuse, Ashley,” my mom deadpans. “Did you ever meet a more ungrateful child, Brea?”

  Kay rolls her eyes. “Are you wearing any of these nylons you’ve got everywhere?”

  I shake my head. “I’m going au naturel on the legs. Look, freshly waxed.” I lift up my gown.

  “Oversharing, thanks.” Kay puts the stockings back into my drawer. Then she shakes her head. “No, on second thought, au naturel and you, just asking for trouble. You’ve had too many wardrobe malfunctions in your lifetime.” She hands me the stockings, and I hang on to Brea while I try to slithe
r into them.

  My mom’s taking pictures of everything. Even the discarded pantyhose. “Mom, we need photos of the nylons for what?”

  “I just want to show that even on your wedding day, you were a complete slob. It will remind your father that now someone else is putting up with you, while we have our clean den.”

  “Amen!” Kay says. “And I won’t trip over her four hundred pairs of shoes!”

  “The limo should be here soon,” Brea interrupts. “Your dress is perfect, Ashley! It’s so elegant and flattering. Kevin’s going to go nuts.”

  Speaking of Kevin, I can’t believe I’m going to get to see him every day for the rest of my life, especially since I’ve hardly seen him at all since the Scarlett and Rhett Day. His new job is going well in Philadelphia, and I joined him on a couple of weekends to work on the new house. I even found a Starbucks with wireless Internet! Still searching for the roasting company, but God is good!

  “You look lovely,” my mom says. “The veil Mei Ling made you is the best part.”

  “It really is, Mei Ling. I just wish I knew where the dress came from,” I say.

  “Kay bought it,” Brea says like I should know this.

  “What? Kay?” I turn to Kay, who is busy organizing things. In my room, with boxes all around, on my wedding day, this is a hopeless cause.

  Kay shrugs. “You waited your whole life for that dress. I even thought you might be desperate enough to marry Seth for it. I couldn’t let you be without it because of that woman. I knew all the reasons you couldn’t have the dress, and they were all reasons for others. You hide behind a shallow exterior, Ashley, but you’d give the clothes off your back to someone else. It’s just one of the secrets I’ve learned living with you. You’d tell someone living in denial for twenty years the truth when she needed to hear it.” Kay grins, and we share our secret quietly.

  I hug her tightly. “You are the best! What would I have done without you this last year?”